My Rebellious Heart (39 page)

"What is this! Come, tell me, princess! What has happened to the twisting, trembling tigress I held in my arms last eve, the tigress whose desires flamed brighter than the sun!"

A crimson tide of embarrassment flooded her. A heady, purely sensual discovery had marked the long hours of the night. With naught but the caressing sweep of his hand, the lure of fiery, de-

manding lips, he had enticed her down a path from which there was no turning back. Time and time again he aroused her until fever burned all through her, until she cried and begged and pleaded for him to ease the piercing ache he incited in her with such brazen ease.

Oh, but he was a brute to remind her of it1 She sought to duck her head but he would not al ow it. He caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger, demanding that she meet his mocking

gaze.

"Wel , milady, wil you not invite me to crawl into bed with you again?"

Her glare flared hotter. "Milord, I would invite you to leave!"

"Ah, but I've yet to grant your wish!" He exclaimed with false heartiness. As Shana frowned slightly, he smiled tightly.

"You play the role of innocent well, princess, but you do not fool me. Or have you decided you no longer wish to bargain?"

"Bargain?"

His hand fell away from her. His smile was wiped clean, as if it had never been. "Aye," he went on harshly "Bargain, princess, for we both know the reasons behind your willingness to lie beneath my hand, here in this very bed! You sought to ply me with the sweetness of your mouth, the suppleness of your body, the clinging heat of your tender flesh tight around mine —aye, and we both know you will now plead leniency for your beloved Barris."

Nay! she wanted to cry. He is not my beloved. You are, Thorne, only you .. But pride held her silent— pride and the rigid cast of oak-hewn features.

"You think I sought to sway you to my wil ?" She dared to vent her outrage aloud—but not her hurt. "I am but a vessel for your lust!"

Lust? Nay, he thought. Never that... He cursed

himself savagely, wondering what madness beset him that he taunted her so. Oh, he'd thought himself so clever. She had said she would yield all to him, and so she had. Indeed, he had demanded she surrender all she had to give—and more. He'd thought to brand himself into her consciousness so thoroughly that she could never think of another man— aye, even Barris, especially Barris!—without remembering his touch, his caresses, his loving.

His mouth twisted. He had been determined that she know it was he, not her beloved Barris, who possessed her, body and soul. Yet in so doing, she had forged in him a searing passion that blazed al other to ashes. He had known, as each scalding climax hurst hot and rich in blinding release, that there would never be another woman like this one.

And so in the end, it was he who found himself possessed ...

For all eternity.

But he was not about to offer up his heart to her. Nay, he decided with a twist of his lips. For he was bitterly aware his beauteous wife wanted nothing from him, least of al his heart!

He arose. Glittering dark eyes rained fiercely down upon her. "You pleased me, princess, indeed far more than you can ever know. But your harlot's tricks were wasted, for your beloved's life is not within my grasp. The fate of the Dragon rests in the king's hands."

His insult escaped her. Never had she seen him so stark and distant. He presented his back to her and reached for scabbard and sword.

"1 know not how long I wil be gone, princess."

Shana struggled upright, clutching the covers to her breasts. "You are leaving?"

"Aye. I will return with the king's verdict." He eyed her coldly. "The Dragon has cost us many

I warn you now, I do not expect Edward will be lenient."

He did not deign to kiss her or touch her, nor spare her any further regard. He strode through the door, weapons in hand.

Shana col apsed against the pil ows, her heart battered, her pride sorely bruised When it was just the two of them, alone in the woodsman's cottage, she had believed there might yet be hope that she and Thorne might someday attain some smal measure of happiness. Oh, but she was a fool! For now that they were back at Langley she was forced to confront the truth, gal ing though it was, the truth she had forgotten ...

He was naught but an enemy bent on conquest.

It seemed she had no choice but to await his return. She was secretly stung when Geoffrey told her Thorne had made it clear that neither she nor Sir Gryffen would be allowed to see Barns. Yet deep down, Shana admitted she was hardly surprised. Nonetheless, she could not banish the elusive hurt that persisted. For she alone knew he issued the order not because he had come to hold her in any regard—why, not even out of jealousy! No doubt, she decided bitterly, 'twas done out of spite—or mayhap the desire to see her humbled.

It was then that Shana final y conceded what she had surely known for some time now. She did not love Barris, she realized sadly, if indeed she ever had. Yet she could hardly dismiss him, for he would always be dear to her heart.

Indeed, she feared for his very life ... and with good reason.

The days slipped by, one into another. Soon Thorne had been gone over a sennight.

Concern for Barris's safety gnawed at her. Worry ran rampant within her, for Thorne's last words churned

through her mind, over and over. / warn you now, 1 do not expect Edward wil be lenient.

She confided her distress to Gryffen one day as they walked near the garden.

A shiver ran through her though it had little to do with the autumn chill. "I am afraid the English will have no mercy." She clutched her cloak about her more tightly. "They seek retribution for those lives lost, and now that they have Barris in hand, I fear he wil be the one to pay the price."

Gryffen nodded, his expression just as troubled. "Feelings against the Dragon run high, I've heard some of the knights say 'tis al the entire countryside talks about. Indeed, one of the earl's knights returned yesterday. He said—" He broke off abruptly.

Shana focused on him sharply. "What?" she demanded. "What did he say?"

Gryffen did not answer. An icy foreboding curled its way up her spine. An uncomfortable look had settled over his features. She laid an imploring hand on his arm. "Gryffen, I am no child to be coddled and shielded! Tel me!"

His sigh seemed to hold the weight of the world. It was hardly the first time Shana had noted the network of tiny lines fanning out from his eyes, but al at once he appeared very haggard and old.

"He says the Dragon wil be hanged, milady," he spoke with defeated resignation, "as soon as the earl returns."

Barris ... hanged. Dark, invisible hands seemed to snatch at her. The ground before her swirled and dipped sickeningly. Her stomach roiled and pitched. She pressed the back of her hand to her mouth. For one awful moment she was certain she would be sick.

Gryffen helped her to a nearby bench. "Milady!" he cried. "Milady, are you unwel ?"

She struggled to speak. "I—I am fine," she said faintly. She did not tell him she had fallen victim to this particular spel rather often of late, so much so that she knew it would not last long. She breathed deeply, far that usual y eased the queasi ness. As soon as she was able to rise, Gryffen hastened her to her chamber, where he left her alone to rest Shana made no attempt to cal him back, nor did she rest. Instead she paced back and forth the width of the tower, white-faced and desperate. A tight coil of dread clutching her insides, she frantical y sought a solution to the dilemma that faced her.

Her mind screamed silently. She could not let Barns die. Yet how could she free him? Mother of Christ, how?

She ran to the door and flung it wide, prepared to scurry down the stairs to seek Sir Gryffen.

Yet in the end, her fingers fel away from the panel. Her stomach twisted as she pictured anew the raw stripes on Gryffcn's back. Nay, she decided fleetingly. She could not stand to see him whipped yet again.

Nor could she let Barris die.

She owed him her loyalty, if not her love

An unfaltering resolve descended upon her She knew what she had to do.

But she must do it alone.

Her mind raced apace with her heart. There would be a price to be paid, a steep one at that .. was she wil ing to risk it?

Thorne would be furious. Dear God, he might never forgive her.

Yet what did it matter, taunted a scathing little voice. She could not lose what had never been hers, she thought with a bitter ache in her chest, for never had Thorne professed to love her.

In-

deed, he would never love her, and the certainty rent her breast like a rusty blade. It seemed she had nothing to lose after al .

Barris sat alone in his cell, his back against the stone-blocked wal , his feet braced against the damp clay floor. He had been imprisoned at Langley for nine days. And for nine days Barris had been certain each one would be the last he spent on this earth ...

He knew they would kil him. Deep down in his gut, he knew with a certainty he could not explain that these English soldiers would not be satisfied until he lay cold in his grave. He refused to give in. He refused to give up. For when there was life, there was hope. Other than his conversation with the Bastard Earl that first day, he had had no contact with anyone other than the jailer. He heard naught but the shuffling of footsteps when the jailer slipped food through the cubbyhole at the bottom of the door. So it was that escape proved as elusive as freedom for his people.

His jaw flenched. Nay, he thought willfully. He could not give up, for there were battles yet to be fought ... and won.

His mind strayed to Shana; for these past days, his thoughts were never far from her.

Knowing she was so near, yet far beyond his reach, was like a knife inside him.

Oh, but to touch her again, to feel the silken texture of her skin beneath his hand, the husky flutter of her laughter against his cheek. To see her just once more . His breath turned to fire in his lungs. If only he had not left her ... if only he had not laid his sword and allegiance at Llywelyn's feet, she would be his today ...

A pang of bitter regret assailed him. If he could erase the past and begin anew, would his choices

have been any different? Barris had only to ask himself one question to know his answer: What was one man's love of a woman compared to the freedom of many?

The sound of footsteps in the passageway tore him from his wistful imaginings. Barris shot to his feet like an arrow, with one question pounding through his brain.

What need was there for his jailer to run?

A key scraped into the lock. His ears strained, for there was the unmistakable sound of jagged, almost sobbing breaths. His every sense alert, he flattened himself against the inside wall near the

door.

The door creaked open. Barris pounced.

Seized from behind, Shana felt herself jerked back with a force that nearly snapped her ribs.

She clawed at the elbow locked about her neck that even now had begun to tighten, eager to speed her on her way to the next world. Somehow, she dredged up enough air to let out a scream.

"Barris!"

It was a mangled, garbled sound, muffled as it was by the hand clamped over her mouth. At the same instant he at last gauged the provocative ful ness of her form. His stranglehold was abruptly arrested.

"Shana!" Her name was both a prayer and a curse. He whirled her in his arms, staring joyful y down at the one person he had never expected to see. "What do you here?"

With a wobbly smile she stated the obvious. "I've come to help you flee." Her smile faded.

Her fingers dug into his arm. "We must hurry, Barris. I managed to slip a sleeping potion into the ale the jailer was given with his evening meal. But I know not how long it wil last. By the time he realizes you have escaped, you must be far, far away."

They crept into the passageway. Sure.enough,

tne jailer was slumped over on his bench, his mouth open, snoring with vigor. Barris pul ed Shana close.

"How will we get by the others?" "The guard at the postern has sickened and taken to his bed for the night," she whispered. "There is no one to stop you from slipping out the gates there." Silently she watched him relieve the jailer of sword and dagger.

"And how many are here to give chase?" He slipped the dagger into his belt.

"Thorne has not yet returned from meeting with the king," she told him hurriedly. "Most of his men rode out with Sir Geoffrey and Lord Newbury this morning. Sir Quentin's garrison is here, but I bade the steward break open a cask of wine after the evening meal." A faint light glimmered in her eyes. "\ rear the lot of them imbibed a little too freely."

He ran a finger over the curve of her cheek. "You always were a clever one, sweet princess."

Princess. Her heart squeezed painful y as Thorne's granite-hewn features swam in her mind's eye. She pushed the image aside and cast anxious eyes to Barris. "Hurry, Barris."

They spoke no more once they were out in the bailey. Barris was at her heels as they crept across the yard. The threat of rain lay heavy in the air; a dense blanket of clouds smothered the moon. Shana directed a hasty prayer heavenward. The lack of moonlight would make it harder for the night watchman to spot Barris if he should rouse. And rain would wash away his tracks. Stilt by the time they reached the postern gate her nerves were scraped raw.

"I'm sorry I could not procure a horse for you." She whispered her regret. "I'm afraid you must travel on foot from here, Barris."

He nodded. "I know a place I can hide until the furor dies down."

Shana said nothing. Silence drifted between them, as dark and heavy as the night. "I could not tell you I was the Dragon," he said suddenly. "Had I been able to, 1 would have. But I feared such knowledge would put you in jeopardy ... God, I've cursed myself a thousand times over for riding off and leaving you that night at Merwen. Only I never dreamed he would escape—never dreamed he would carry you off and you would be at his mercy ..."