Nearly Broken (8 page)

I was trying hard to
fight the feelings that I had for Nick. In the beginning, it was easy
enough to brush off the smiles and teasing innuendos, but now it
seemed my feelings were growing exponentially, so out of control I
couldn’t keep myself from giving in to his playfulness. I was
on the edge of the cliff, ready to take that death-defying leap, but
the damn sections of my brain that controlled fear and memory, kept
me tethered to the rock bed. Because while the rest of my brain was
overwhelmed with love and attraction, these particular areas supplied
me with a continuous loop of haunting images, trying desperately to
remind me of the horrors I was running from. And what could possibly
be my fate again, should I start doing stupid things that knock me
off my planned course of action.

Head down. Stay off
the radar.

But there was always
that tiny little voice roaming free through my thoughts.
What if
I’m running from something that’s not even chasing?
Was
I really going to squander my opportunity with Nick for nothing? What
if the only remaining threat from my past was the fear that ate away
at me from the inside out?

I was so confused. I’d
been running and hiding for so long it was all I knew how to do.

I could only hide for
so long. Eventually, I had to jump into Nick’s car and head to
work. He didn’t play with me for the two minutes it took to get
to work, but once we were the only worker’s left, I was fair
game. Deciding to let things play out however they were going to
happen, I let him tease me, enjoying every minute of it.

Any time I had to go
to the back, he found a reason to brush his body against mine. I
tried not to close my eyes; tried not to think about how well my body
molded into his when he leaned into me from behind to reach for a pot
hanging in front of me. And though he found it necessary to pull it
down from its rack the moment I stepped up, I never actually saw him
use it. That went on for hours, and shamefully, I made way more trips
to the back than was necessary.

My mood remained
jubilant and playful until seven-forty-five, when Joe began to test
the cap on my annoyance meter. Unfortunately, the shop he worked for
closed up early and he’d been hanging out at the diner for
almost an hour already.

“Megan! Another
one!” he spat, holding his bottle up in the air before slamming
it down on the table with a
crack
.

I sighed and ripped
his ticket from my tablet, heading to his booth without fulfilling
his request. “This is not a bar, Joe. The festival’s
already started and it’s kid-friendly. So, no. I won’t
get you another beer so you can go stumbling down the street all
drunk and scaring the kids. We’re closing in a few minutes
anyway.”

“So you’re
going to the festival then after all, aren’t ‘cha?”
he said in an accusatory tone.

Oh, yeah. I’d
have to thank Nick for creating this special conversation with Joe.
When we came into work tonight, he had smooth-talked Paul into
letting us close early tonight, explaining that no one was going to
come pay to eat here when they could go eat for free at the festival.
So not only did we have the night off, I was now going to the
festival with Nick, Paul and Darla. And Tish, of course, who caught
wind of our plans before her shift ended and made sure she got
invited to join as well.

“Yes, Joe. The
people I work with convinced me to go with them.”

Rolling his eyes, he
slurred, “Please. You mean
him
.”

“Yes, Nick is
going too, but I’m not going
with
him. There’s no
us
between me and Nick,” I lied, because even the most
self-absorbed teenager could notice the flirtatious tension between
us. “Just like there’ll never be an
us
between you
and me. Everyone needs to stop it with these damn rumors already.”

I turned to leave, but
Joe snatched my right arm, just above the wrist. “Joe, let go,”
I said calmly but firmly, hoping his drunk-ass would comply once my
words penetrated the drunken haze around his brain. My eyes were
fixed hard on the edge of my sleeve, my heart jumping when I saw a
flash of red squeeze out.

“I promise I
could make you real happy, Megan. If you’d just give me the
chance. I swear I’m better than I’ve been coming off.”

The stench of his
breath nauseated me, triggering a memory I tried my damndest to push
back down. I tugged my arm, his grip tightening more as his other
hand reached over to aid the fight. I could feel him squeeze all the
way to the bone, and I yelped and yelled, “Let go of me!”
I pulled using my full body weight, and his hand slid up my arm as he
yanked me closer, my sleeve exposing the worst of my burns.

His eyes immediately
caught the color clash, his face souring into a look of revulsion.
“Gross! What the fuck is that?” He released me, his hands
in the air, fingers spread wide like he contaminated himself just by
touching me.

He didn’t get to
verbalize the rest of his disgust, as Nick burst in from the kitchen,
yelling for him to get the hell out before he beat the shit out of
him. Even drunk, Joe knew to hightail his ass out as fast as
possible, and once he stumbled out the door, he was gone from sight
in less than five seconds.

My hand was already
cupped over my mouth, my eyes widened in a desperate attempt to fight
the sting infused into my eyes. I had already pulled my sleeve back
down but I still felt exposed, so I bolted for the safety of the
hallway that led to the bathrooms.

“Megan!”
Nick called behind me, rushing to catch me in case I aimed to lock
myself away in the bathroom. He gave me a tight squeeze just as the
tears rushed out. “Don’t,” he soothed. “Don’t
let what that jerk said get to you.” His hands moved to rub my
arms up and down. I cringed, feeling every bump in my skin against
his palms, fearing he’d feel it too. And when my sleeve pulled
up on one of his passings, I reached down to fight the rise, which
only seemed to set him off. Out of nowhere, he shoved both sleeves up
to my elbows and snagged my biceps in such a way I couldn’t
break free, forcing me to leave that disgusting skin visible for him.
“Why do you hide this
from me
?” he asked harshly,
just shy of yelling at me.

Why?
Wasn’t
it obvious?
The tears broke free of their corner ducts, despite
my best effort to contain them. “Because it’s disgusting!
Just like Joe said!” I hated that he held me that way, hated
that he wouldn’t let me lower my sleeves to cover the patchwork
of abstract bumps and unnatural color patterns. With a cracking,
shaking voice, I cried, “
I’m
ugly
.”

“Ugly?”
His grip on me lightened, but he still held me firmly in place.
“Megan, you can tie your hair back, cover yourself head to toe
with clothes that are too big and avoid wearing any type of makeup.
But people are still going to notice you. Men are still going to want
you. You’re the fucking opposite of ugly. Everything about you
is beautiful.”

“Not
everything,” I whispered.
I’m ugly inside, too. No
kind, decent person is capable of doing the things I’ve done.

I swung the metal
within my shaking grasp and his head whipped to the side, blood
splattering against the beige linens, his body falling unnaturally to
the floor.

Fire billowed on
the ceiling, reaching down, down, down…

Nick’s eyes
darkened when they narrowed at me, seemingly pissed as I began to
weaken in his arms. I tried to pull away, craving nothing more than
to cover the nasty burns before my eyes and the horrible memories
they always triggered.

Leading with my rear,
I went limp, hoping he’d just drop me and let me be. In one
swift motion, he released me, only to thrust his biceps beneath my
arms, lifting until our shoulders met and slamming me against the
wall, mashing his body into mine. I barely had time to gasp before
his lips shoved against mine. His kisses were hungry and rough,
almost desperate, and tasted of salt as my tears came between us.

That annoying part of
my brain that knew it was wrong, kept screaming that I should push
away, but my lips just wouldn’t obey – they had ached for
this so much they’d never give it up now.

Fear of falling got me
to wrap my legs around his waist, but it clearly didn’t worry
Nick any, because his hands were more interested in ripping my hair
free of its bind and roughly tangling his fingers through my roots.

Nick
. Just the
touch of his hands on my body was enough to make me moan.

Nick
. Whose
caress I’d slowly been craving more and more. Who was kind and
protective and loving. Whose arms I felt safe in, even when they were
rough. Whose kisses were sending my heart into overdrive and wetting
me down below.

I fully gave in to the
kiss, slinking my arms around him, leaving one hand at the base of
his neck while the other explored his head. Mashing my lips against
his, I couldn’t believe how much I wanted this, how much I
wanted him. I tugged at a clump of hair, and a sexy guttural sound
rumbled from his chest. His mouth tasted of wintergreen and his
hands smelled of the fresh basil he used on the pasta special he made
all night.

Hot and heavy and out
of breath, our kisses ended all too soon. My eyes opened, and for
once I got to look down on him, his piercing green orbs still hungry.
After a few deep breaths, he leaned his forehead into the niche
between my neck and shoulder, moaning, “God, Megan…I’ve
needed to do that for so long.” Continuing to press my body
into the wall with his weight, he sighed as I scratched his scalp
lightly with my fingernails.

We began again with
lighter, more sumptuous kisses to the mouth and neck, both of us
releasing all that pent up sexual frustration in a series of long,
drawn out moans. But soon after, we could hear the back door open,
followed by Paul and Darla’s voices in quiet conversation.
They’d be on us any second if we didn’t break the
embrace.

“Later,”
he whispered, kissing me one last time. I didn’t want to go,
but he slowly slid me down the wall. Feet planted firmly on the
ground, he squeezed my hand with a smile before heading back into the
diner.

Now out of sight, I
sated the pestering urge within and pulled my sleeves down to my
wrists, then stepped into the bathroom to clean myself up.

I would have been happy
to keep the advancement of our relationship a secret, but once Tish
dropped in and made a beeline for Nick, he was quick to stand behind
me and wrap his arms securely around my waist. That brought her to an
abrupt halt, but it wasn’t anger or jealousy that resided
behind her bright blue eyes, it was more a knowing smile, more an
I
told you so
kind of glare, the kind that wanted to take
responsibility for two people being together, when in fact, that
person had done nothing.

Nick and I were the
last to walk out the front door, so I locked it behind us and clipped
the key to my belt loop, pulling my shirt over it like I always did.
He took my hand as we followed our three co-workers down Main Street
and down a secondary street that would lead us to a huge field by the
middle school. We could already hear the live band and the occasional
announcement via loud speaker.

I couldn’t help
but notice that with all the additional cars, there were a lot of
places someone could hide and I didn’t like the feeling of
uneasiness stirring inside my stomach, regardless of the warm hand
securing mine.

I’d never been
to one of Myrtle Creek’s gatherings before, but it seemed like
a typical carnival or fair, only done on a much smaller scale. There
were homemade booths scattered around that offered all sorts of food
like corndogs, BBQ, sausages and burgers, and sickly sweets like
chocolate dipped cherries, cotton candy and fried dough. A few of
those smaller, kid-sized amusement rides were mixed in between it
all, including the spinning tea pot and a train that followed a
circle around the entire festival. The live band and dance floor
seemed to be smack dab in the middle, where most of the adults
without kids seemed to gather.