Nervous (24 page)

Meredith gasped. Jetta appeared sated and sat down.

“I molested my baby,” he continued. “But I couldn’t help it.” He pleaded with Meredith with his eyes. “Meredith, baby, I know I can never make up for what I did, but I tried. I did get help. I went and talked to someone and he helped me. That’s why I was trying to get you to get some help for Jonquinette, too.”

Meredith suddenly jumped on top of Henry and tried to choke him, knocking both me and him off the chaise. I tried to pry her hands off his neck. He was just willing to sit there and take it.

“This is totally your fault!” she screamed. “I’m going to kill you!”

Henry continued sobbing, Meredith continued choking and I continued trying to get her hands off him. “Jetta, help me,” I said. “You know this is wrong. It can’t all end like this.”

The situation seemed hopeless. Henry started gasping for air and I was stuck underneath him with all his weight on me trying to accomplish an impossible task.

The next thing I knew, Jetta screamed out, “Momma! Momma, quit!”

It wasn’t Jetta though. Jonquinette was back.

She pulled Meredith off Henry by the waist. “What are you doing, Momma?”

“Meredith, it’s Jonquinette!” I yelled out. “It’s Jonquinette. Don’t let her see this. She’s been through enough.”

Meredith’s eyes became glazed over as she let go of Henry’s neck. She collapsed backwards on the floor and whispered, “God help us! God help us all!”

jonquinette

After I was filled in on what had happened when Jude took over in Marcella’s office, I couldn’t find any words to express my feelings. I heard the tape, which cut off at the point where Jetta decided it would be cut off. Jetta? Things were getting more confusing by the second. But I wasn’t so much shocked about Jetta as I was about what she had accused Daddy of doing. In fact, I tried to defend him but he admitted that he had molested me as a child.

He said that his father had molested him, which is why he never took me to visit my paternal grandparents. After the Thanksgiving Day fiasco, Daddy came to the conclusion that he deserved to be alone and that karma had caught up to him. He returned to North Carolina and reopened his father’s auto repair shop as a means to punish himself for his own sins. A constant reminder of his sins would be his fate.

Marcella, Momma, and I listened intently as he described everything he had been through. He said it was a vicious cycle because his father, my grandfather, had been molested by his own uncle as a child. I still couldn’t imagine not remembering the things my father related in that therapy session. How he would do things to me when Momma wasn’t around, mostly when she was out spending money on things we didn’t need.

Marcella explained that Jetta had taken the abuse for me and Jude had become my protector, even though Jude never knew about the abuse. She also speculated that while she rarely made an appearance, Jetta was the one who really controlled things. She prevented Jude from making me completely disappear.

My main concern wasn’t even for me but for Flower. Daddy assured me that he hadn’t molested her but admitted that he had experienced some urges. Marcella told him that he had no choice but to come clean with Allison, Flower’s mother. She told him that there was always the chance that he would relapse in a moment of weakness and shatter yet another young life.

Needless to say, Momma called the wedding off. She left, stating that she was catching a cab home so she could take a tranquilizer and lie down. I told her that I would come by later to check on her. I couldn’t take any more for one day either. I told Daddy and Marcella that I had to leave. Marcella asked Daddy to stay behind so they could talk.

I also caught a cab home since Daddy had driven to Marcella’s office. When I arrived, Mason was just returning home from work. He saw me get out of the cab and must have been able to tell that I had been to hell and back. He came to me and I collapsed into his arms in tears.

Mason and I spent the next few hours talking about everything that had been revealed earlier that day. As usual, he wasn’t judgmental at all. On the contrary, he cried when I told him about Daddy and the pedophilia. He also expressed concern for Flower and I told him that I would go to my grave protecting her, if I had to. In fact, I planned to call her mother the next day and tell her everything myself. I didn’t want to risk leaving it up to Daddy.

Mason pampered me by running me a bath and giving me a deep tissue massage afterward. I was steadily learning that he was a man of many talents. Mason made love to me slowly from behind up against my bedroom wall—so passionately that I wept, because I couldn’t imagine him still wanting me after finding out yet something else devastating about my past.

It was late when I had Mason drop me off at Momma’s condo, close to two in the morning. I used my key and entered without knocking. She was knocked out in her bed and I stood over her for a moment, listening to make sure she was still breathing. For a second, I was scared that she had taken an overdose. That, I would not have been able to handle.

I climbed into bed and took her into my arms. She woke up, saw me, and asked, “Is it you, Jonquinette?”

It was a shame that she had to ask. “Yes, it’s me, Momma. Get some rest.”

We both fell into a much-needed sleep.

The next morning, Daddy was banging on the door by nine. He was taken aback when I answered instead of Momma. His eyes fell to the carpeted hallway. “Jonquinette, I’m so sorry, baby. How can I ever make it up to you?”

“You can’t.” I turned and he followed me into the living room. “Momma’s still sleeping and I have no intention of waking her up. The longer she stays asleep, the longer she doesn’t have to deal with reality.” I rolled my eyes at him and sat down. “I guess I’m an expert at that, huh? Falling asleep, or rather letting someone else take over, so I don’t have to deal with reality.”

Daddy sat down across from me. “I just wanted to come by to say that I’m leaving today. I planned to stop by your place next.”

“Well, now you don’t have to waste a trip,” I stated sarcastically. Then I caught myself. “Daddy, I won’t pretend that I’m not angry. That would be nothing but a performance. I am angry but, at the same time, I understand that you are just as much a victim as me.”

“That’s still no excuse,” Daddy said. “I hurt you and that’s unforgivable.”

“In time, I hope that I can forgive you, but I know that I’ll never forget. At least, now that I know.”

We sat there in an uncomfortable silence for a moment.

“Daddy, I want you to know that I plan to call Allison sometime today and tell her everything.”

“Please, let me do it,” he stated in a desperate tone. “I should be the one to tell her.”

“Maybe, but I have the
right
to tell her. I have to make sure that nothing happens to Flower. While you mean well, I have to do this so that I have peace of mind.”

He nodded. “I understand, Jonquinette.”

“I’m glad that you do.”

“Can we still spend time together?” he asked. “We lost so many years. All I want is a chance to get to know you again.”

I shook my head and sighed. “Daddy, I need to get through this first before I can answer that. I thought about it long and hard last night and I think being in constant contact with you would hinder my healing process. We both need to heal separately before we can heal together.”

“Marcella alluded to the same thing after you and Meredith left her office yesterday. She gave me the contact information for several doctors in North Carolina. I plan to find one who can see me immediately.”

“That’s a wonderful thing.” I stood back up. “Daddy, I don’t mean to be rude but I can’t think of anything else to say to you right now.” I glanced at the bedroom door. “Plus, I don’t think it would be wise for you to be here when Momma wakes up.”

He stood and headed for the door. “I agree.” When he got to the doorway, he turned and said, “Would it be too much if I asked for a hug? Just in case it’s the last one.”

I hesitated at first and then embraced him tightly. “Good-bye, Daddy.”

When he let go of me, I spotted a tear in the corner of his right eye. “Good-bye, Jonquinette.”

I watched him saunter down the hallway and closed the door as he pushed the call button for the elevator.

marcella

I decided to conduct the next therapy session at Jonquinette’s apartment. I wanted all of the personalities to feel comfortable and it was the obvious choice. I spoke to Jude first. She greeted me at the door. I knew it was her right away from the way that she grinned at me and carried herself.

“Good morning, Jude,” I said.

“Good morning, Marcella. Come on in. We’ve been expecting you.”

“You sound mighty cheerful this morning.”

Jude shrugged. “What can I say? If you can’t beat them, join them.”

“So you realize there are others?” I asked.

“I know there’s at least one. When Jonquinette came back into your office, so did I, and I heard everything she heard.”

“I take that to mean that you never knew about Henry’s molestation of Jonquinette?”

Jude shook her head. “No, I didn’t. I just always knew I didn’t like the bastard. It seems that my actions have now been justified.” She laughed. “At least I didn’t attempt to outright kill him. If I had, I wouldn’t have missed.”

I chuckled. “No, I don’t suppose you would have.”

Jude walked over to the window and peered out. “I’ve been giving this a lot of consideration. Jon’s been through a lot.”

“Yes, she has, and you’ve been there for her when she needed you most.”

“But now she doesn’t need me anymore. Is that what you’re getting at?”

“You tell me. Does she still need you?”

“I hate to admit this but I suppose not. That doesn’t mean I’m going away completely, though. I might just stop doing all the bad things I’ve been doing and let Jon make all the decisions.”

“So you admit that you’ve been doing bad things?”

“Of course. I won’t even attempt to sugarcoat it. Jon was boring, simple as that. I had to do something adventurous to make life bearable. But now that she’s dating this Mason dude, who’s all right by the way, things are looking up.”

“You like Mason?”

“He’s growing on me, slowly. He’s romantic and that’s a good sign. I believe that he loves Jon and I know for a fact that she loves him. Who am I to interfere with what could be the love affair of the century?”

“I’m delighted to hear you say that, Jude.” I walked over to her and placed my hand on her shoulder. For once, she didn’t yank it away from me. “Jude, I know that this is hard on you. You’re a person just like Jonquinette and Jetta.”

“I meant what I said before,” Jude stated, turning to look at me. “I never set out to hurt Jonquinette. I love her. But, I had to do what I had to do and as far as the sex, that was my escape.”

“I understand perfectly.”

“Marcella, I’ve made up my mind. Yes, I’ve
definitely
made it up. I’m going to let Jon live her life the way she wants to.” Jude actually seemed excited as she spoke the words. “She deserves it. She’s been through enough.” She paused and added, “I can’t speak for this Jetta person, though. I don’t even know her ass but I like her.”

We both laughed.

“I don’t think Jetta will be surfacing anytime soon, Jude. She spoke her mind and accomplished what she set out to do. At least, that’s the way I view it, but I could always be wrong.”

“No, Marcella, you’re right,” Jude said smugly. “I have confidence in you. But don’t get it twisted.” She poked me in the arm.

“If someone starts fucking with my girl, I will be back to handle things.”

“I have no doubt that you will,” I stated honestly. “I’ll try to make sure that no one fucks with Jonquinette ever again.”

Jude hugged me, which truly shocked me, and whispered in my ear, “Good looking out.”

She headed down the hall to the bedroom. “I’m tired. I need to lie down for a while.”

“Are you okay?” I called after her.

She turned and winked at me. “I’m just fine. We all are.”

I decided to stay at Jonquinette’s apartment to see what happened. Mason knocked on the door and I introduced myself to him. We chatted quietly in the living room for a few minutes, but I refused to go into details since I was still sworn to protect the privacy of my patients. I listened to him comment on things that Jon had obviously revealed to him but I refused to expound upon them.

Mason seemed like a wonderful man and I could see why Jonquinette was so in love with him. Most people would not deal with such a difficult situation but Mason swore that he had no plans to go anywhere. In fact, he told me that he one day planned to marry Jonquinette. I encouraged him to put that on hold until she had time to heal. He agreed to wait.

I let him out and sat down on the sofa, staring at the ceiling and pondering the events of the past several days. I wished Dr. Driggs was still alive so I could seek his advice. I had a call in to another dear friend of mine in Florida. He was on vacation but his secretary assured me that I would be his first phone call upon his return. Either way, with or without another doctor to consult, I was determined to help Jonquinette.

An hour later, I heard the bedroom door creak open and I sat up, waiting to see who would emerge. As soon as she came around the corner, I knew it was Jonquinette. She looked refreshed and had this glow about her.

“How about we go out to dinner?” I suggested. “It would be a good thing for us to get out of this environment for a little while.”

Jonquinette smiled. “I’m starved. Where shall we go?”

“Um, how about Justin’s? I heard the food’s fantastic and I’ve never been.”

“Me either. Sounds good to me. Let me just get a coat.”

“Great. We’ll take my car.”

Jonquinette and I had a lovely dinner at Justin’s and talked about the future,
her
future.