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Authors: Frances Hoelsema

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              albums, answering any and all questions the best I could.

                            Then before I kissed you, I stopped ever so briefly

              to make sure you were okay with it. I would never want

              to force myself on you.

                            Knowing you were having a little bit of an issue

              with our passionate kiss, I sent some flowers that I truly

              felt suited you best. It took me a long time to find the

              perfect vase and everything.

                            Just so you’re aware, those flowers were not

              because I was sorry for kissing you or even because I

              regretted kissing you. Those flowers were purely because

              I care about you, and am so upset that life dealt you a

              tough hand.

                            Then you avoided me, of course. I could have

              tried to edge my way into your life, but didn’t. I gave you

              your space, knowing full well that you have a lot to think

              about, a lot to deal with.

                            When you got stuck in your driveway, though, I

              couldn’t just leave you there. Whether you wanted to see

              me or not, I didn’t care. You don’t need to worry about

              freeing yourself if I’m around. And sometimes it takes

              more than one person to get unstuck anyway so I hope

              you don’t mind me coming to your rescue.

                            To avoid it happening again, I made sure to snow

              blow your driveway that one afternoon when I had just

              gotten back – right after we had gotten a good dumping

              of snow. I figured I was out to do my own anyway so might

              as well do yours.

                            As you know, a couple of days ago I helped you

              get gas in your car. I’m glad I was there because I would

              have hated for you to walk to the gas station and back,

              especially with a full gas can to hold on to. It’s not that

              I feel you couldn’t do it. It’s because you shouldn’t have to

              do it. And please tell me you’d rather car pool with me

              instead of some stranger!

                                                                     

              Each line that Jill read brought back memories of each pivotal moment in her and Brian’s history. She was astonished that he seemed to have remembered so much. And the way he said each thing, she began to realize how much he did for her, something she never thought much of before.

              Jill continued to read.

 

                           
I don’t mean to come off sounding boastful about

              all these different things I’ve done for you. That isn’t my

              purpose. So to prove that, let’s take a look at what you’ve

              done!

 

              I’ve done something?
Jill asked herself.

 

                            You offered to replace my drink after you bumped

              into me and spilled the one I had.

                            Later that night you brought over a fabulous meal,

              which I would love to have again sometime.

                            The iced tea that you brought me on that one really

              hot day when I was working on my mom’s roof was literally

              the best iced tea I’ve ever had – no joke!

                            You lent me your peanut butter for the dessert I

              wanted to make for my mom.

                            After dinner and dessert on my mom’s birthday you

              stayed and helped clean up, definitely not a requirement.

                            I hate to admit it, but I’m glad you cleaned up the

              spaghetti smudge you found left on my face.

                            You were so kind to Buddy, even going as far as

              buying him dog treats the first day you met him.

              You offered to help paint my mom’s bedroom.

                            I really loved the chai tea that you gave me! Let me

              know where you found that because I’d like to get some of

              my own.

                            If I haven’t said enough about your cooking/baking

              before, here’s another. Your cookie in a cookie recipe is

              phenomenal!

                            Thank you for trying my version, too.

                            I’m also thankful you were with us the day my mom

              wanted to shop around for a new place to live. It was hard,

              but please know that you really helped me keep my cool and

              support my mom.

                            Lastly, but I’m sure not finally, I really appreciate

              everything you’ve done for my mom. I know that I don’t even

              know the half of it, but from what I’ve seen by just being up

              here, you’ve done more than I ever thought or would have

              ever asked. I see why my mom treasures you so much!

 

             
Jill was shocked that Brian seemed to remember every minute detail. Some of the things he had mentioned seemed like second nature to her. He was making it seem like it was so much more. 

              And those things were so much more.

              As Jill read the rest of the letter, she began to understand just what they meant. And with each line that she had read, her mind opened up to what Brian was saying.

             

                            What I mean by all of these words is that I want to

              show you what true love is all about. You see, I was always

              taught, and shown, that love isn’t a feeling. You can feel

              love, yes, but it’s way more than that. True love is an action.

                            It’s something you do.

                            If love is just a feeling for you, something that comes

              and goes, then no wonder why you’re so afraid of being hurt

              again. You’re afraid one day I’ll just up and decide I don’t

              love you.

                            That’s not true love.

                            True love is more than the unbelievable attraction

              I feel for you – that I think you feel for me. True love doesn’t

              come and go, even on the hard days. My mom and dad had

              true love, and that’s what I’m looking for in you.

                                                       

              The letter coming to a close, Jill’s heart ached. Had she been wrong all along?

             

                           
Please know how sorry I am for everything that

              you’ve had to go through. I’m thankful that you trusted me

              enough to open up to me about that ugly part of your past.

              From the bottom of my heart, I wish I could have stopped it

              from taking place. I wish I could take away your pain.

                            Hopefully someday you’ll be able to move past this

              time in your life and come to experience true, lasting love.

                            Let this photo be a daily reminder that something

              great is out there – you only need to accept it.

                            I love you, Jill.

                                                                                                                Love,

              Brian

 

              Jill was in tears. She began to mist up when Brian apologized for the hurt she had faced. Then with his closing remarks and declaration of love, nothing could be held in any longer. She allowed the tears to run freely down her cheeks, sobbing loudly.

              When she could no longer stand it, she ran up the stairs to her bedroom. She plopped herself unto her bed and buried her face into her pillow.

              As Jill wept on her bed, her past flashed before her. She began to curse her father for the horrible example he set for her. Then she cursed Mark for the cheating, the stealing, the false sense of love.

              Most of all, she cursed herself.

              Jill cursed herself for not being able to let it all go.

 

 

18

 

 

 

 

              April had finally come, and for a couple of weeks now the temperatures had started to rise with no snow in sight. Elena quick caught the news forecast to see if the trend would continue.

              Turning the TV off, she got on the phone.

              It was time to get a hold of her son and make plans to sell her house.

 

---------------

 

              Brian was in his office going through some paperwork when there was a knock on the door. “Come in!”

              One of his employees opened it up and told him that someone had specifically asked for his help up front.

              “I’ll be right there.”

              Putting a stack of papers to the left side of his desk, he stood up, pushed his chair under the desk and strolled to the front of his store. Mrs. Triton was by the checkout desk, no doubt being the one that asked for his assistance.

              Before Mrs. Triton married, she and Brian had gone on one date. One long, boring, uneventful date that left Brian wishing for the time he wasted back. For a while she kept trying to get him to go on another, but he always refused. When she finally found someone else to spend time with, she came around less and less.

              Lately, however, her visits were picking up again, especially since he had been home the last couple of months.

              She was attractive and came with a lot of money, but not Brian’s type. Now that she was married, she was even more not his type. He didn’t play that game. But with her recent increase in visiting his store, he began to think
she
did.

              “Mrs. Triton, what can I do for you today?” he asked politely, with a hint of annoyance.

              “Mrs. Triton? You make me feel old. Please, call me Angela.”

              Brian ignored her request and again asked what she needed help with.

              She paused, lips pursed, but nonetheless said, “I need help looking for a specific light bulb.”
              “Anyone from my sales team can take care of that for you. Let me go get –”

              “No, no, no. I’d like for you to help me.”

              Brian rolled his eyes, wishing he was still doing the dreaded paperwork.

              Back behind the checkout desk, two of Brian’s employees were watching the scene unfold before their eyes, chuckling at Angela’s attempt to hold on to Brian. They all knew she wanted him and how much he wanted nothing to do with her. Each time she came in, everyone usually got a good laugh or two.

              Brian asked what lightbulb she needed and quickly found it for her. He handed a couple of packages to her and then asked if she needed anything else.

              Angela tried to come up with something, but each visit was getting harder and harder to figure out what to ask for. She tried coming into Brian’s shop with enough of a list to keep him by her side for as long as possible, but the amount of items that made her trip believable was becoming shorter. “Um, I guess this is it.” She gave Brian a flirtatious smile, and touching his shoulder she added, “Thank you for your help today.”

              Brian smiled back and walked away saying, “Have a good day, Mrs. Triton.”

              “It’s Angela,” she stated loudly.

              He didn’t even turn around. Passing the checkout desk, he demanded that no one bother him for her again.

              “Yes, sir,” they both said in unison, smirking.

              As Brian got to his office, his phone was ringing. He quickly went to answer it. “Hello. This is Brian.”

              “Hi, Brian. How are you?”
              “Mom! I’m doing okay. How are you?”

              “I’m wonderful. So listen, I think it’s time to call Blake Gearson and put my house on the market.”

              “You sure? There’s no going back!”

              “Yep! The weather is finally staying nice, and I feel good about my decision.”

              “Okay, mom. I’ll call him after work today then.”

              “You’ll have to come back up here soon then, right? I’d like for you and I to go back to the house one last time. You know, to say our goodbyes and double check everything.”

              His mom’s request seemed a little odd, but a part of him ached to go back to Ashwin.

              “Maybe. Let me check my calendar a minute.” He glanced over the big desk calendar that lay underneath some papers. “Um, I can probably come up just after Easter. Like in two weeks or so. Is that doable?”

              “Sounds wonderful, son.”

              “And who knows? Maybe your house will be sold by then!”

              Knowing Brian was busy, she concluded the call with, “Maybe! I’ll let you get back to work now. I love you.”

              “I love you too. Bye, mom.”

              He hung up the phone, and immediately got out a pencil to mark in his vacation. This was the moment he had waited for since he last left Ashwin. He knew the next time he’d be there that it’d be one of the last, if not the last, time.

              He never heard a single thing about what Jill thought of his gift, and didn’t know what to make of that. But that was all he had left to do, and now the ball was in her court. If she still chose to guard herself from what he could offer, then he had no option but to accept it.

              As he thought about Jill, and whether or not he would even try to see her in a couple of weeks, another knock interrupted him.

             
Ugh!

              “Come in!”

              The same bald-headed, short and stocky employee that disturbed him earlier for that pesky woman again opened the door.             

              “Sorry to bother you again, Brian, but Angela needs you.”

              Brian glared at him. “Well, you can tell
Mrs. Triton
I’m busy.”

              “Will do.” Just before closing the door, he added, “She likes you, doesn’t she?”

              This employee was somewhat newer and didn’t know the whole story so Brian bit his tongue from saying anything remotely rude. “Yep, but I want nothing to do with her.”

              The man before him looked shocked. “Why not?”

              “Because my heart belongs to one woman and one woman only, and in a couple of weeks I hope to finally be with her.”

              The employee smiled and nodded, seeming to understand what Brian was talking about. Then he shut the door to leave his boss alone.

              Well, there’s my answer I guess. I’m going to try to see her!

              Brian got on the phone with Blake, and the two of them made arrangements to put Elena’s house on the market.

 

---------------

 

              The last couple of months there wasn’t a day that went by that Jill had not thought of Brian in some way or another. She either thought about the way they had left things the day before he went back home. Or she would often think about the sweet gift that he left for her to treasure, the gift she kept right by her bedside so she could see it each and every day.

              Other times Jill found herself just thinking of Brian and the good times they shared, and the fact that the two of them had gotten along so well.

              And on occasion Jill had to admit that she fantasized about him because he was dreamy to look at.

              While at the Ashwin General Store to pick up some dinner to bring over to Elena’s, she had walked past some Easter lilies. Just thinking about how one of those would make a great gift to bring to Elena tonight, sent her mind once again to Brian.

              She felt awful, and she missed him more fiercely than she ever thought possible.

              Perhaps the most troubling thing to Jill was that about a week ago, she saw the ‘For Sale’ sign go up in Elena’s yard. Each time someone came to look at it, she wondered if they would be her new neighbors. That sign represented the end to Jill.

              An opportunity lost.

             
Maybe it’s about time I talk to Elena about all of this,
she thought.

              Never having kept secrets from her before, Jill vowed to talk to her that very night. All she had to do first was pick out the perfect Easter lily and then get all the ingredients needed for supper. Just before checking out, Jill double checked her cart to make sure everything needed was there.

             
Chicken? Check. Potatoes? Check. Gravy? Mm-hmm. Asparagus? Yep. Melon? Got it. Chocolate milk? Yep! And then the lily! All right. Let’s go!

              Jill placed her items on the belt. As soon as her turn was up, she made sure the prices scanned were correct. Then she paid for her order, and seeing as Easter was just two days away, she smiled and left with, “Have a good Easter!”

              At the car, Jill placed all the items in the back seat except for the lily. The lily she kept up in the seat right next to her so that she could carefully hold on to it. She started the car and made her way to Elena’s.

             
What am I even going to say about Brian?

             

---------------

 

              Elena opened the door for Jill, wearing a pair of black dress pants and a gray sparkling top. She had her hair pulled back and a hint of makeup on, getting into the spirit of the get together.

              “You look nice, Elena!” Jill complimented.

              “Oh, thank you. Is the lily for me?”

              Jill handed her the lily so she could get a closer look and smell of the gorgeous plant.

              “It sure is. I thought you’d like it, being close to Easter and all.”

              “I do. I do,” Elena smiled.

              Jill continued to bring in the groceries she had bought for their dinner and placed them on the kitchen counter while Elena looked for the perfect spot to place her lily.

              “So what did you decide on for dinner?”

              “I thought a nice seasoned chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy, asparagus and melon sounded really good,” Jill replied.

              “Ooh, that does sound good. What can I help you with?”
              As Jill got out some pots, pans and cooking utensils, she responded with, “Um, I think I’ve got it all.” She glanced up at Elena and gave her a smile.

              “Well, at least let me join you here in the kitchen to keep you company.”

              Elena took out one of the chairs from her table to sit on. She then rested her head on one of her hands and watched Jill stay busy by the counter.

              Both of the women made small talk, mostly discussing how the weather was finally starting to stay nice and how Jill’s job was treating her.

              Jill thought here and there about bringing Brian up, but it never seemed like the right time. Plus she thought she should be more present when discussing everything instead of being busy doing this and that, her face mostly turned away from Elena’s.

              When dinner was served, there was finally a break in their conversation where Jill decided she’d at least ask a casual question about him. “So have you talked to Brian recently?”

              Elena could tell that Jill had been meaning to ask that all night. What took her so long was beyond her, but she was glad it was finally asked. It was only right for Jill to know that he would be around soon anyway.

              Putting down her fork, she answered, “Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did!”

              Jill quickly made eye contact with Elena and asked, “How’s he doing?” She then busied herself with moving the fork around on her plate, choosing what bite to eat next.

              “He’s doing really well. I actually asked for him to come up soon because I put the house on the market.”

              “Yeah, I saw that,” Jill smiled, although it wasn’t altogether a happy one.

              Elena smiled back as she continued, “He’s going to be up here next week.”

              Jill dropped her fork as she shockingly asked, “Next week?” Realizing that was a bit dramatic, she clarified, “I mean, wow. The house sold fast!”

              A small chuckle escaped Elena’s lips. “Oh, the house isn’t –”

              Jill, confused, interrupted with, “But I thought he wasn’t coming back until the house was sold?”

              “That was his plan, but I just asked him to come up so we can go to the house together one last time. He’s fortunate enough to be able to take off just about whenever he wants, that’s for sure.”

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