Not Your Match (16 page)

Ben tore his gaze from the fence and focused on Andi. “She wants me back.”

She can’t have him!
Andi sucked in a breath at the knee-jerk response. She clenched her hands into fists.
This isn’t a court room where claws are expected,
she reminded herself.
Reign it in.
“What do you want?”

Ben took a step closer and reached out, his hand hovering near her face. Andi’s heart thundered in her chest, and she stood frozen, wondering what he’d do next.

He dropped the hand. “I think I want a hug,” he said.

Andi pulled him in, wrapping her arms around him. His body fit against hers perfectly, chasing away the December chill with his warmth. He sighed and dropped his chin onto the top of her head, holding her close. Andi’s nerves were doing somersaults, and she wanted to stay with him like that forever.

Ben pulled away, and Andi felt the loss. The cool air again invaded her body, and she pulled her jacket closer around her.

“Thanks,” Ben said. “It’s been a crazy night.”

“You have every right to be out of sorts,” Andi said.

He ran a hand through his head and blew out a breath. “I didn’t expect to run into her here, you know? California is supposed to be my Whitney-free zone.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Try and convince her to go home, and hope she doesn’t convince me to come back instead. I feel guilty leaving her when she needs someone so badly.”

“Ben, you can’t take responsibility for her actions.”

“I know. But old habits die hard.”

Andi stood there, feeling helpless. She watched the conflicting emotions dance across Ben’s face. He kept saying he and Whitney were over, and she believed him. But clearly he was still very much tied to his ex-fiancée.

“This isn’t how I imagined starting the new year,” Ben said.

“I’m sorry.” Andi didn’t know what else to say.

Ben wrapped an arm around Andi’s shoulder and pulled her close. “Thanks for being such a good friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you right now.”

“I feel the same way,” Andi whispered. And it terrified her.

Ben avoided Rachel for the rest of the night. He was furious with her, but the party discouraged a confrontation, which was probably for the best. He needed to wait to until he’d calmed down. The last thing he wanted was to argue with his sister, who had been so kind and helpful over the last month as he tried to piece his life back together.

Andi stayed by his side for the rest of the night, picking up the slack in conversations so no one would notice how quiet Ben was being. He didn’t know what he would’ve done without her. As soon as the clock turned midnight, Andi made their excuses to Rachel and they left. The drive home was quiet, and Ben was grateful for Andi’s calm and comforting presence. He didn’t want to talk, and she seemed to understand and respect that.

Ben tossed and turned all night, then woke up early the next morning—too early to barge in on Rachel. Even if he was angry, he knew better than to drag her out of bed at five a.m. and expect a productive conversation. As he ate a bowl of cereal in the breakfast nook and stared at the awful wallpaper, he knew what he needed to do to work out his nervous energy.

Ben dumped his cereal bowl in the sink and opened the bi-fold doors hiding the washer and dryer. He grabbed a box from the shelf above the appliances and pulled out the scraper and liquid stripper he’d purchased at the store a few days earlier. He mixed the stripper with water, poured it into a spray bottle, and squirted.

For the next four hours, Ben stripped wallpaper. The cabinets required him to stand on a step stool and bend uncomfortably, but he relished the ache in his muscles and the tedious work that allowed him to block out everything. Since the wallpaper was just a border, and the kitchen relatively small, he’d stripped the entire kitchen by the time it was an acceptable hour to call on Rachel.

He stood back, looking at the newly blank walls. The paint behind the removed wallpaper had scuffed and peeled. But the room already looked a thousand times better. And Ben felt a thousand times better, too. He could relate to the walls—scarred from misuse, but full of potential.

Ben took a quick shower, then headed to Rachel’s. He thought about calling first, but decided maybe a surprise visit was better. He had a feeling she’d be expecting him anyway.

Ben rang the bell. Mere seconds later, Rachel opened the door. She wore jeans and a long-sleeved tee, and her face was devoid of makeup. “Come in.”

“Aren’t you going to ask why I’m here?” Ben said.

She blew out a breath. “I know why you’re here.”

Ben shut the door and followed Rachel to the sitting room, the same one where he’d spoken with Whitney less than twenty-four hours earlier. “Then you know what you did was wrong.”

Rachel plopped onto the love seat and hugged her knees. “I didn’t know Whitney was coming until she was already in Los Angeles. When she called asking for my address, I thought it was the perfect opportunity for you two to talk.”

Ben massaged his head. “You’re unbelievable.

“You’ll thank me soon enough. You and Whitney are meant to be together.”

“She left me.”

“And she feels awful about it.”

Ben’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve been talking to her.”

Rachel quickly looked away. “No.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Okay, we’ve talked on the phone a few times over the past two weeks.”

“
You
told her to come here.”

“No. She came up with that idea on her own. I swear I didn’t know she was coming.”

“You gave her your address. Told her I’d be here and when.”

“If you’d listen to her . . .”

“She
left
me, Rachel. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be left by the woman you love for the third time?” Ben ran a hand through his hair and cursed. “I was finally starting to feel better. To move on. And then you had to bring her back here.”

“Whitney’s sorry. She didn’t mean to leave you. She’s better now.”

Ben slammed a hand down on the couch. Rachel didn’t flinch. They’d spent too many years fighting for either of them to startle the other. “You don’t know anything about Whitney. All you see is who she wants you to see, and let me assure you, Whitney is very
good at hiding her true self.”

“If your fiancée had cancer you wouldn’t leave her, would you?”

Guilt slammed into Ben. But no. This wasn’t his fault. “I wouldn’t have left Whitney, either. I would’ve stayed by her side for the rest of our lives if she’d been willing to work with me instead of against me. But she wouldn’t. She blamed every bad thing that happened on me. I deserve better than that.”

“Whitney didn’t—”

Ben held up a hand. “Rachel, I’m sorry. But you have no idea what you’re talking about. I came over here to tell you to stop meddling. I don’t need
help fixing my relationship with Whitney, because it’s not fixable. Lay off. Okay?”

The doorbell rang, echoing throughout the room like a death knell. Rachel pursed her lips, her arms folded tightly around the knees she had drawn up to her chest.

“You didn’t,” Ben said.

“I wasn’t going to let her keep staying at a hotel. She’s my sister-in-law.”

Ben rose with a growl. “This is exactly what I was talking about.”

“She’s doing everything she can to make amends.”

“And I’m doing my best to move on. But you’re making that incredibly difficult. I’m out of here.”

“She’s already seen your car. It’d be rude to leave without saying hi. What are you going to do, go out the back door?”

“Maybe.”

“Stop being childish.” Rachel walked into the foyer. Ben stood rooted to the spot, not sure what to do. The front door opened, and he could just make out Whitney’s strawberry curls as she hugged Rachel.

He should leave. Run away.

But a part of his heart still ached for Whitney.

“I saw his car,” he heard Whitney murmur. “Is he here?”

“If he hasn’t escaped out the back door,” Rachel said. “Honestly, you two need to get over this misunderstanding.”

“I know. I’ll do my best.”

Ben shook his head, his blood boiling. Rachel had some nerve. He would leave—out the front door. He might even slam it in both women’s faces.

Ben walked into the foyer and folded his arms across his chest. “I thought I told you to leave,” he said, struggling to keep the anger in his voice in check. Whitney looked so fragile. The dark circles were more prominent underneath her eyes today, and her skin was pale and pasty. He’d bet his life that she hadn’t been to bed since leaving last night. Probably wouldn’t go to bed for several more hours, maybe even days.

If she was seeing an herbalist—and he seriously doubted she was—then it wasn’t working. He recognized the signs of mania. When on the upswing she thought she was invincible. It made her reckless, and a danger to herself.

Why had her parents let her drive alone to California?

“I’m not going anywhere,” Whitney said. “Not unless you come with me. You mean too much to me to give up on us.”

“Funny. You didn’t seem to care much about ‘us’ when you took off in the middle of the night.”

“If you need me to keep apologizing, I can do that. You can’t resist me forever, Ben. I know you better than anyone. I can show you I’ve changed. Convince you we’re meant to be together.”

Ben swallowed. He wanted to curse and leave in a huff. But she knew which buttons to push. He ached for the life they’d planned on having together, and letting go was anything but easy, especially when Whitney stood in front of him. He pushed past her, desperate to get away. “I have to go.”

“You can’t avoid me forever,” Whitney called as he stormed to his car.

He stopped and turned, his eyes zeroing in on her. “Watch me.”

Her mouth popped open in shock. He had never once stood up to her. He’d never before refused her anything when she put up a fight. He’d never pushed back.

Ben put the car in gear, his heart pounding. How would Whitney react to this? He gripped the steering wheel, anxiety thrumming through him. He had to believe that she wouldn’t fly off the handle and slit her wrists because of this. He had to remember she was no longer his problem.

When he glanced in the rear view mirror, Whitney still stood on the front porch, jaw slack as she watched him drive away.

Andi loved a day in court. Arguing her side to a judge gave her a thrill, and the brief change of environment left her refreshed and energized. It was the part of law she loved, and the part she didn’t get to do nearly enough.

Today she hadn’t been arguing with a judge, or pleading her client’s case to a jury. But it was satisfying all the same.

“Smile,” Andi said, holding up the phone.

The judge stood in front of his bench, one arm around each of the parents. The mother held a drooling baby in her arms, who babbled and squirmed to get down. Andi quickly snapped the picture.

The judge said a few words to the newly created family, then shook their hands and disappeared inside the door to his chambers. The couple came over to Andi and she handed them back their phone.