Nothing to Ghost About (14 page)

I walked into the funeral home and
found Mom leaning against the office door. “The office is locked,
Laurel,” she said. “How could you be so hurtful? Why didn’t you
give me a key when you changed the lock?”

I ignored her questions. “Who is on
your roof?” I said.

My mother smiled in a rather
sanctimonious fashion. “Terence Bailey.”

“
Who is he?” I said. “Does
he go to your church?” I have no idea why I asked the latter, as I
already knew the answer.

“
Of course he does.” Mom
put her best pious look on her face. “He was trying to find
God.”

“
I didn’t know God was
missing,” I said with a snicker.

Mom was furious. “God does not approve
of jokes! And let me tell you, Laurel, Terence was a crimson sheep
who had gone astray. He had turned each to his own way, but now he
is back with the flock.”

I scratched my head. The whole sheep
thing was confusing, as was her syntax.

Mom continued, more loudly. “He found
God while he was in prison. He’s a changed man.”

“
Prison?” I said with
alarm.

Mom raised her hands to the ceiling.
“Terence dearly wanted to be at Alec Mason’s funeral, but he was
still in prison. But now he’s out!”

Now I was really worried. “Mom, was
Terence in Alec Mason’s organized crime gang?”

Mom pursed her lips and shot me a cold
glare. “He was, but he has repented. All his sins have been washed
white as snow. You know how compassionate I am. I thought hiring
him was the right thing to do.”

I shrugged. “Okay, but he’s not
allowed near the funeral home.”

Mom hurried toward the front door,
muttering to herself. I caught the words, ‘ungrateful’ and ‘little
brat’. I went into my office and checked my messages. There were
none. I really had to do something to drum up business. I sighed
and left, being careful to lock the office door behind
me.

Terence Bailey was down the ladder
when I got to the house. He looked tough, but I wondered if that
was simply because I knew what he had done to make a living most of
his life. Really he was just a man in his sixties with a tired
looking face. He didn’t need to be up on the roof in the hot sun.
“Miss Bay?” he said.

“
Laurel is fine,” I said
with a smile.

“
I suppose your mother has
told you about my criminal past,” Terence said, “but now I’m a
blessed man! Blessed, I tell you, not lucky. Being lucky is not of
God, but being blessed sure is. Praise be!”

Call me cynical, but it seemed to me
to be an act. “I don’t go to Mom’s church,” I said dryly. “I’m a
heathen.”

Terence gave me an appraising look and
then curled his lips into a thin, mean smile. “Trouble finds me
wherever I go. Big trouble finally caught up with Alec Mason. But
I’m different now, so trouble is going to be leaving me
alone.”

I in turn summed him up, and decided
to be upfront. I had nothing to lose. “Terence, the funeral
business has been going downhill since Preston Kerr was murdered at
Alec’s funeral. Obviously the two deaths must be related somehow.
Do you have any idea who killed Alec Mason?”

Terence thought for a moment. “You
mean whoever killed Alec killed this Preston guy?” Before I could
respond, he continued. “But he was a singer, so it doesn’t seem
like he would run in the same circles as Alec.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t mean
that. The police obviously thought that Alec’s killer would attend
the funeral, so what if his killer killed Preston, too? It really
is the only likely explanation.”

Terence looked skeptical. “What motive
would they have?”

I shrugged. “Who knows? But surely
there can’t have been two murderers. And the cops don’t seem to be
making much progress.”

He grunted. “And they likely won’t.
Alec Mason was involved with people who had ears and eyes and money
in all the right places, and if they don’t want to be found, they
won’t be. People die sometimes, and everyone might even know it’s
their doing, and nothing comes from it.”

I was surprised by his words. “So you
think someone killed Alec Mason, and nothing will come of
it?”

Terence leaned forward. “I know
it.”

“
Terence! Laurel!” My
mother shrieked from the front door. “Come in for a nice cup of
tea!”

I walked inside the house with
Terence, and followed Mom into the dining room. She had laid out
her best silver and finest antique china. I noticed Terence’s eyes
light up. I’d have to keep a close watch on that man.

Mom ignored me and gushed over
Terence. “Terence,” she cooed, “have some sponge cake. I made it
myself.” She cut a huge slice of the gooey, cream-topped cake and
deposited it on his plate. She continued to ignore me.

“
Now, Terence, you
are
coming to the church
working bee tomorrow? We’re scrubbing that place from top to
bottom! It will be a wonderful time of fellowship and hard
labor.”

“
I wouldn’t miss it for the
world,” Terence said. “Praise be!”

Mom finally looked at me. “Terence
found God in prison, and so he was granted an early release. How
wonderful is that? Good things come to good people.” She narrowed
her eyes at me, and I figured I wasn’t counted amongst the good
people.

“
Praise be!” Terence said
for the umpteenth time.

I nodded, resisting the urge to ask
what God was doing in prison. That seemed a smart thing for Terence
to figure out, a good ploy to get out of prison early. Of course, I
kept my opinions to myself.

“
Laurel, I left the
chocolate cheesecake in the kitchen. I’m sure Terence would like
some. Would you get it, please?”

I stood up at the same time
that Terence spoke. “Mrs. Bay, would you mind playing some of that
lovely gospel music, please? Praise be! Do you have the
hymn,
Come ye Sinners Poor and
Needy
?”

Mom jumped up. “Yes, I’m sure I have
that one,” she said gleefully.

I returned moments later with the
cheesecake to see Terence stuffing a silver teaspoon in his pocket.
When he caught my eye, he pulled it out of his pocket and polished
it on his jeans. “It was a bit dirty, I’m afraid,” he said. “Please
don’t tell your mother or she’ll be embarrassed.”

“
Just don’t do it again,” I
said pointedly.

Terence met my gaze and held it, his
stare guileless. The nerve of the man! I’d have to call Duncan
later and give him the heads up.

Soon the mournful drone
of
Come ye Sinners, Poor and
Wretched
filled the house, dispersed with
random interjections of “Praise be!” from Terence. I fought the
urge to flee. I had to stay to ensure that Terence didn’t rob the
place, so entertained myself by counting all the silverware and
memorizing it. I wasn’t looking forward to the conversation I would
have with Mom later. I knew she wouldn’t believe me, but I’d have
to tell her, nonetheless. And I would tell Duncan, too.

Chapter 20

“God almighty works in wondrous ways!
It took a cleaning bee to get her here, but my prodigal child is
finally joining the flock!” Mom crowed as she made her way down the
aisle, waving handfuls of rags over her head like
pompoms.

I ducked my head, my cheeks burning as
a scattering of strange voices took up the cheer. It was all I
could do not to run right back out the door.

“
I’m just here because Mom
forgot her purse,” I protested, the light dawning on me that Mom
had deliberately forgotten her purse. I avoided the eyes of a dozen
or so faces staring my way. While I wanted to set the record
straight, I did not want to insult them by outright declaring that
I had zero intention of returning.

A kindly woman smiled encouragingly at
me from over her thick bifocals. “Of course, dear. You really
should attend a service before you make a decision not to attend,
though. We’d really love to have you. Our doors are always
open.”

And I had been right about Mom’s
reaction. Mom had outright told me I was mistaken about Terence
stealing her silverware. Duncan, thankfully, had taken the opposite
viewpoint.

Ian suddenly appeared at my
side like a doleful specter. “Hello, dear,” he said in a
patronizing tone. “I’m glad we finally got you to church. There’s a
Bible study tonight. We
will
see you there, won’t we?”

“
No,” I said, “but
you
will
see
yourself stop calling me ‘dear’.” I had to find Mom in a hurry and
hand over her purse, so that I could escape. Mom had beaten a hasty
retreat after announcing to everyone that I was here, and now was
nowhere to be seen. I looked around once more, and my eyes fell on
Terence Bailey.

He was peering at the silver
candlesticks by the altar. I watched him for a few moments, and he
didn’t move. I supposed he was wondering how he could sneak them
out.

“
Oh please, you are not
that desperate,” Janet’s voice said from behind me. “I know you’re
a little overweight, but you can do so much better. You just need
to wear more makeup.”

I shook my head. “No way!” I whispered
urgently. “I’m just making sure...”

Janet interrupted me. “That he doesn’t
steal anything?” she said loudly.

Terence looked up at us, and took the
candlestick out from under his coat. “I’m just cleaning it,” he
said. He set it back in its place.

He was fast. I hadn’t even seen him
take it.

“
Come now, Janet. You’re
treating our guest like a criminal,” Ian chided her. “The Good Book
says, ‘Judge not lest ye be judged.’”

“
Yes, and it also talks
about traveling blindly around ditches.” Janet shot back. “And that
guy probably found more than a few ditches to dump people in. I
prefer to travel with my eyes wide open, thank you.”

Finally, I caught sight of Mom. She
was clapping her hands loudly. “Ladies! And gentlemen, of course!
Time for refreshments.” She vanished out a door at the back of the
room.

I was swept along by the crowd into a
large room, pristine white with speckled tan tile, filled with
folding chairs and long tables covered in thin plastic tablecloths.
The tables were laden with cakes.

I had almost reached Mom when one of
the ladies thrust a cupcake into my hands. “It’s so good to have
you here with us. Your mother said you’d like one of
these.”

I took the cake. “Thank you.” It
emanated a heavy sweet scent of syrup and brown sugar, and it was
covered with a scattering of some sort of shaven or crumbled
reddish brown confetti. There was another smell too, but it was so
masked by the smell of the sweet that I could not quite make it
out.

I was staring at the odd color of the
icing, when Janet reached out and took one from the plate. “Oh my
goodness! And I thought bacon couldn’t get better. Laurel, you
don’t know what you’re missing.”

“
Thank you,” the woman said
earnestly. “It’s my first time making them. I found the recipe
online.”

My mouth fell open. Bacon
on a cupcake? Surely that went against the laws of nature. Cakes
were for sprinkles and candied fruits or nuts, or a cream filling,
but not
bacon
.

“
That vegetarian thing is
ruining you to new experiences.” Janet said with a mouth full of
bacon-laced frosting. “No wonder you can’t get a
boyfriend.”

“
You’re a vegetarian?” the
woman asked in alarm as she snatched the cupcake back from my hand.
“Thelma! Why didn’t you mention that your daughter is a
vegetarian?”

“
It’s just a phase she’s
going through,” Mom said, waving a hand dismissively.

Now was my opportunity. “Here’s your
purse, Mom.” I thrust it at her. “Make sure nothing gets stolen out
of it.”

Mom shot me a glare of disapproval. I
turned away, to see Terence stuffing cakes into his pockets at a
rapid rate. I think some of the cutlery went in, too.

“
Just like a woman, to get
all in a knot over a little bit of nothing.” The voice was
familiar, and a clammy hand landed on my shoulder and gave it an
overly familiar rub.

I knocked his hand off my shoulder.
“Touch me again and I’ll have you arrested,” I hissed in a low
tone. “I’m not joking!”

John Jones appeared unfazed. “You
ought to get used to a little meat.” His tone was encouraging. “You
can’t cook a man a good meal with carrot sticks and lettuce. Now,
what time can you be ready for me to take you out to dinner
tomorrow night? It’s not natural that you’re not married and you
run a business. There is no man to provide headship for
you.”

“
Listen carefully, John
Jones,” I said firmly, all efforts to be quiet forgotten. “I am not
your date. I am not going anywhere with you—ever. You need to stop
harassing me.”

John Jones gave a long-suffering sigh.
“Laurel, I know you’re playing hard to get, but there comes a time
when you need to settle down and find a man to take care
of.”