Off Center (The Lament) (18 page)

The
man relaxed, thinking that she was actually fine with him having had relations with
Lyse, and looked away from the Doctor, who was still being a bit judgmental, watching
the bearded man with cold eyes that didn't fit his normally cheery face.

"No
horses, but I have an old meat cart that will do. I normally borrow a horse for
the work though, when it's time to haul things. We don't have a proper livery, but
you can probably buy one from Kenny Bates. Just don't tell him it's for me, and
it might work. I have a bit of coin put by. Not much. If you look under the floor
boards of my kitchen you'll find my lock box. There should be enough, if you haggle
well. It's coming into winter, so he should be looking to sell a few, so he won't
have to feed them." There was more exact information about where exactly that
box was.

That
just left getting to it, without raising too many eyebrows.

So
another thing to do, but it was closer to her goal. Or at least her stated one.
She really needed to get Clark or Mara alone. If she accidently died, they needed
the information. True, it might not be real, but she still had to pass it along,
just in case.

Finally
she just walked up to Mara, who was outside the Judges room, guarding the door,
and shrugged, using the only excuse she had. At least that came to mind at the moment.
There were probably a million other things she could have said, but just walking
up and begging to be let in, to see Judge Claire, would seem a bit off, if anyone
was listening.

"I'm...
supposed to have sex with Roy tonight. I sort of know what to do, but, do you have
any tips? I don't want him to be disappointed." She waited for the laughter,
or teasing to come, but got a serious look instead.

"Really?
Well, I honestly figured that you two had already been going at it. Um, I might
have some ideas as to what you can do. Claire might too, if you aren't too embarrassed
by the idea of her knowing about it?" She turned, hand raised to knock, but
waited, as if Pran might just not want the pretty younger woman to know her secrets.

This
was all about secrets though, wasn't it?

"That
would be good. We haven't just sat and chatted in days. That probably means I'm
a horrible friend, doesn't it? I feel kind of sorry for her, being locked up in
her rooms like this all the time. I know we need to protect her, but I could have
come and played for her or something." She let the bad feelings flow through
her, living the guilt for a moment, until Mara made a strange noise at the back
of her throat, which after a bit Pran recognized as choked off laughter.

"You've
been rather busy. Trust me, way before we had you off playing for Claire, Clark
and I would have been running drills with you. If anyone should have been playing
for the Judge, it should have been Bard Benjamin. You know, The Lament's Bard? I'm
pretty sure he actually has, a few times. Some other things too, if I'm not mistaken.
You should ask her about that. Or him." She smirked and tapped on the door.

"Come
in. Please." The voice was mellow and relaxed sounding, which probably had
to do with the fact that Judges, much like Guardians, pretty much lived in one form
of trance or another. Pran thought so at least. It was the base technique for both
disciplines. Unless they'd been lying to her the whole time. They weren't though.
They probably had left out most of the cool tricks, but that wasn't the same as
misleading her on purpose. She knew for a fact that what they'd told her worked.
When applied properly at least.

Mara
let her voice raise as she entered the well appointed, but sparsely furnished space.
It was the same as the last time she'd been in it, but this time the chairs had
been moved back against the walls and Judge Claire was sitting on the wooden floor,
her behind on a blue pillow that was about a meter square. Her blue eyes were closed
and her decently long blonde hair was held back by combs. She didn't have any make-up
on, and looked incredibly serene.

"Pran
has a date tonight, with Apprentice Roy, she's come to get some advice in how to
entertain him." She was making herself extra loud on purpose and kept talking
as she shut the door. Both women turned to look at her then.

They
were smiling.

Pran
walked further into the room, and then shrugged.

"Are
you up to reading me for truth, Judge Claire? It might save time, because the things
that I've heard in the last day barely make sense to me. I think that might be lack
of information, rather than it actually being crazy. Though I'm a bit worried about
that, for myself, so you might want to keep an eye out for that too, while you do
it?" There, that was honest enough, she thought. Lying to Claire would be a
waste of time anyway.

The
woman stood, flowing to her feet, her white robe, which wasn't her nicest one at
all, moving with her like a cloud. When she was upright, her head held high, she
took a single deep breath, and, Pran noticed, matched how she was standing, precisely.
Then she gave a half nod, indicating that Pran should speak, rather than waiting
for questions.

It
took a bit to go over it all, but no cry of "lie" came. Instead there
was just a cool and highly focused regard that left her feeling very uneasy. Like
her life might end with any misspoken phrase.

When
she wound down, about fifteen minutes later, Mara finally spoke.

"So,
the truth compound, you said it worked, but, how did you get past them? You weren't
caught..." She clearly didn't get it.

"It
was..." Pran smiled and looked at the Judge, who was still reading her. That
was clear. "I didn't lie. It worked pretty well. Not perfectly, because I noticed
that at times I said things that I realized weren't true later, even while under
the effects of the stuff, but I told the truth to them, as I believed it at the
time. That I was with them, a literal truth, and that I'd back the winning side.
They'd heard a lot about my childhood, and well..." She'd glossed over that
part, with her friends, but Claire nodded gently.

The
pretty woman glanced at Mara and explained a bit, knowing more than Pran thought
she did about her. A lot more. It was enough that Pran stared at her for a bit.

"Pran
was raped and tortured at the Grange. For years. Of all the government run facilities,
only Camp Wallace is its equal. That's where-" She didn't get to finish, since
Mara spoke first, recognizing the name.

"That's
where we send the worst offenders. The murderers and rapists that can't learn to
correct their behavior. I've never been, but I've heard rumors. People killing themselves
rather than going. I knew that Pran had been at the Grange, but I thought it was
just another orphanage. Why is it allowed to stand if it's that bad?" There
was, kindly enough, a glare directed at Judge Claire, as if it were
her
fault
that the situation hadn't been corrected yet.

She
sighed and sat back down on the pillow, gesturing for them to do the same. Mara
just sat, but Pran noticed that there were pillows sitting of the side and got one
for the Guardian, and a green one for herself too.

When
they were both in place the Judge spoke, her voice raw, like she was about to cry.
It didn't show on her face.

"The
Judges have lobbied for it to be closed for years. Decades, to be more honest and
precise. The High Council always votes against it, because when released into the
world, the children of the Grange tend to become monsters. Even those that never
set foot there, and are only slated to go. It was tried, long ago. The only other
answer would be to kill them all instead, and we do not kill. Not with our own hands.
So we have Camp Wallace and the Grange here. There are, in other parts of the world,
different places for that kind of person. The horror of it is vast." She shook
her head and let a tear actually threaten to come from her eye. "Think Mara,
what would cause a girl like Pran to act as she has in the last weeks?"

"Huh?"
The Guardian seemed to be thinking, but also like everything that Pran had done
had been just about right. She said it clearly, staring with a focus that nearly
equaled what the Judge had been doing.

The
other woman shifted a bit, her white robe contrasting nicely with the black of the
two in front of her.

"
Exactly
.
She comes across a woman being raped in an alley, and when no one will help her,
runs in herself, unarmed, to help her. Most would have pretended not to hear at
all, or if no help came, they would have felt they'd done their part and not risked
themselves. But even before that, think... She was there, because when a criminal
unfairness, a thing that everyone else would have known couldn't stand long, was
done to her, she immediately set out to make a new life for herself as best she
could. How hungry do most women get before they think to sell their bodies to survive?"
She paused and took a deep breath, actually looking directly into Pran's eyes.

When
she started again her voice cracked. It was a jarring and unexpected thing, and
she sounded hard and nearly angry.

"Then
she forced her body and mind into a pattern that breaks most who try it, even when
they have years to adapt, that of the Guardian. True, she did it imperfectly, but
she
did
it. Even to the point where, when faced with a hostile force of armed
people, she stopped them. She would have given her life to do it. Now, when faced
with a new threat, she becomes what she has to in order to meet it. She seldom tells
the truth Mara, but Bard Pran is no liar."

That
didn't help explain anything, and Mara just looked like Claire was tossing out riddles.
After a bit she put her arm around Pran's shoulder, leaning a bit to do it and growled
at her Primary. The one she was supposed to guard. That had to be considered poor
form for a Guardian.

"I
don't take your meaning."

Neither
did Pran. Really, she'd lived all those things and it seemed reasonable enough to
her. She didn't want to die, but sometimes you had to be willing to. Everyone knew
that.

Claire
nodded, her face having gone all calm again. Then she clearly read Pran's mind.

"Right,
everyone knows that, Pran. Except that they really don't. People, most of us, are
led by other things than survival. Fear. Duty. Greed. Even when you try to survive,
it's out of balance with the rest of the world. You're clearly a genius, your art
shows that, but you also have a remarkable ability to make yourself into whatever
you think will help you in the moment. To bend when others wouldn't even know they
might break."

Pran
thought she got it and made a face.

"So,
basically you're saying that I
am
crazy? That I should have been left in
the Grange rather than let out into the world?"

That
got a worried glance, at Mara, but the woman held out her hands.

"No!
You should have never been there in the first place. No one should,
ever
.
I... Don't know that you're insane, but you aren't... it's just that you're a bit
different than most." She was trying to seem polite about it at least.

Pran
nodded. It wasn't as if she hadn't gotten that idea before, was it?

"Just
a bit off center? Like a picture that's good, but a little different? Or a statue
carved from the left, instead of the right?"

Her
words made the Judge tilt her head, taking her own turn being baffled, but this
time Mara nodded, clapping her on the back a bit.

"Ah,
okay, I get it now. You're
weird
. Well, we all knew that already and still
love you, so no harm done. Now, just to change the topic, we're being attacked by
people from hundreds of years ago? Is that part of your being strange? Because it
would make more sense if it was. And Doctor Millis is in on it? I've known him for
nearly a year. He always seemed, I don't know, normal enough. Soft and a bit weak,
but everyone seems like that except for other Guardians." She tossed her head
indicating Pran, who was sitting there with her head nearly shaved, and thinner
than she had been from under-eating for the last bit. "Except for Pran."

That
started a long conversation that didn't end for nearly two hours, when Clark came.
Then they had to go over the whole thing again, including the parts about her, which
made her blush a bit. The man just listened and seemed to accept it all easily,
as if it actually made some kind of sense to him. It showed on his face and in the
set of his shoulders. Pran saw it and Claire did too, and they both had shocked
expressions on their faces.

Mara
however grimaced.

"Unholy
monkey squats. You knew all this? About Doctor Millis and these... Downloads?"
She said it as if it were an accusation and Clark...

Didn't
even blink.

"Yes.
This isn't a new problem, Mara. Every few generations this happens. So far they
haven't won, but this time they seem to be taking more time and building up their
power base more carefully. It makes sense to do it that way. They have forever to
move in and make the changes they want, and other than killing our own people, if
we can find them, we have nothing that can touch them. Not unless we can find their
complex and destroy it, but, as Claire spoke of a few minutes ago, when speaking
of the Grange, we don't kill. Ending them would mean destroying tens of millions,
or possibly hundreds of millions of lives. Not ones like our own, but they still
exist. They were our forefathers and mothers too. So when they come, we stop them."