Off the Record (19 page)

He shrugged and looked up at the ceiling. Kate could feel him getting further away from her, even as she began to see what it must have been like for him. She raised a hand, reaching for him, but he flinched back, breaking contact and standing up. She let her hand drop to her side as he walked to the dressing table and began to touch her hairbrush, phone, laptop … anything to avoid looking at her.

‘I’ve known women who come on to me, then try their luck with Dad, figuring he’s a better bet.’

Kate felt rage growing inside her, building up ready to burst. ‘What sort of sluts have you been mixing with, Brand?’ she asked, keeping her voice light.

He shook his head. ‘Not so many. I’m not stupid. I learned fast. But they weren’t the worst.’

Kate couldn’t bring herself to ask, but he told her anyway.

‘Stalkers and journos. Each feeding off the other, sharing information, lies, and sick, stupid stunts. They nearly destroyed my mom. Dad was such a star by the time they divorced, everyone loved him. The press crucified her, even though they knew nothing about what had happened. My parents stayed friends, even after they’d acknowledged the marriage was a mistake, but the press went into a feeding frenzy, creating all sorts of lies. That brought the crazies out, and we’ve been hiding from them ever since.’

‘Your father has a good relationship with the press,’ she protested.

‘He’s learned to play the game, and he’s taught me along the way. But don’t for one minute think we enjoy it. Would you? Having your every move reported? Not being able to walk down a street without being mobbed? My mom remarried a few years back and moved to Canada. She lives in fear of her neighbours finding out who she is in case they alert the press. She doesn’t deserve that.’

‘None of you do.’

‘And neither do you. But it’s starting. Your mom has been targeted, and now you.’

Kate shook her head in denial. ‘No.’

‘Yes, Kate. None of this would have happened if you hadn’t been with us.’

‘How many times do I have to tell you none of this is your fault before you believe me?’

He shook his head. ‘We didn’t make it happen, but it happened because of who we are.’

Kate sighed. ‘Do you think I’m like them? The reporters who hound you and tell lies about you?’

Paul turned around to look at her. He shook his head, a half-smile on his handsome face. ‘No.’

‘Thank you.’ She was touched by his faith, which she was sure hadn’t come easily to him.

‘I do have an inkling of what it was like for you growing up, y’know,’ she said. ‘No, don’t scoff, I mean it. Do you have any idea what it’s like being a vicar’s daughter? And when both parents are priests …’ she shook her head and instantly regretted it. Putting a hand to her throbbing cheek, she went on. ‘I was teased or shunned by the kids at school, and the teachers expected me to set an example to my peers by being the best-behaved student. And as a teenager, boys would either ask me out assuming I was desperate to be a wild child, or they didn’t bother asking me at all because they assumed I was going to be a nun or something. I felt like a total freak. When I got to university I avoided telling people what my parents did. It was the first time I felt able to be myself.’

‘The family business, huh? I can relate to that.’

Kate looked at him, standing on the other side of the room, keeping himself safe by standing alone, and she felt her heart breaking.

She shrugged. ‘Yeah. It’s not a lie, and it saves a lot of hassle.’

‘You got my dad good with that one.’

‘It’s become a habit.’ She stifled a yawn, ‘Ow! Sorry, I don’t mean to be a party-pooper, but I’m shattered.’

‘You need to sleep.’

‘Can’t we at least be friends?’ she asked as she slid between the sheets. ‘Everyone needs friends.’

He smiled. Not the cocky grin she’d grown so used to responding to, or the sexy one that made her toes curl. This smile was so sad, she could barely breathe.

‘I guess,’ he said eventually.

Paul walked to the side of the bed and pulled the cover up to her chin and gently kissed her hair.

‘Good. I didn’t like it when you avoided me.’

‘I know. You were right.’

‘Mmm? About what?’

He could see that she could barely keep her good eye open. ‘It’s like you said.’

‘What did I say?’

‘What’s between us. It is something special.’

‘I know,’ she tried to smile. ‘Scary isn’t it? Why is it such a problem?’

‘You said it before – we live in different worlds.’

‘We’re living in the same world right now.’

‘Yeah, and the quicker you leave, the safer you’ll be. You could have died tonight. ’

‘Give me strength!’ Kate scowled. She was beginning to feel a bit dizzy. ‘Stop going on about it. I didn’t die. I’m OK. You just want an excuse to push me away. I’m like a leper to you, aren’t I?’ She shook her head, which didn’t do it any good, and rubbed the side of her face, wincing against the bruising. ‘Some women would gladly kill me for the chance to be in a hotel room with you. Those women in the restaurant would’ve had you naked by now.’ Paul’s frowning face got closer as he peered down at her. She squinted back at him. ‘They called me a lucky cow.’

‘Are you OK?’

‘Of course. Why?’

He cupped the uninjured side of her face. ‘You’re sounding kinda weird. Do you have any idea what you’re talking about?’

‘I’m not sure,’ she said. ‘What was I saying?’

He held up three fingers. ‘How many fingers?’

‘Five. But you’re holding up three.’ She giggled.

‘Kate, how many of those pills did you take?’

‘Only a couple. Don’t fuss. I’m just tired. Turn the light out, and come and snuggle up, there’s a sweetie.’ She smiled and let sleep take her.

Paul kicked off his shoes before turning out the light. He lay on the bed beside her, gathering her close. He had a feeling his life would never be the same again.

Chapter Twenty-three

Paul was used to waking up in strange beds. He was also used to waking alone, despite what the tabloids said. This morning was no different. He was lying in a strange bed and he was alone. He opened his eyes and blinked against the sunlight pouring in through the window. Kate sat silhouetted against the light, on the window seat, wrapped snug in her robe, her legs curled up under her, looking out through the sheer drapes.

‘Hey,’ he said softly, his voice still husky with sleep.

She turned her head. ‘Hey yourself.’

‘You OK?’

She touched her cheek. ‘Yes. The swelling’s gone down a bit. I expect the bruising will be pretty spectacular for the next couple of days, but I’ll live.’ She didn’t look happy.

‘So what’s up?’ He sat up, the sheet falling to reveal his broad, tanned chest. Paul felt a delicious shiver run down his spine as she finally looked at him, hunger in her pretty green eyes. When she saw him watching her, she looked away, her pale cheeks blooming into pink.

‘When did you get undressed?’ she asked, looking out of the window.

Paul looked down. The top of the sheet slipped to reveal he still had his underwear on. He rubbed a hand over his face.

‘Don’t know. I guess I must’ve pulled my jeans and shirt off in the middle of the night. It was damned hot. I don’t know why English hotels don’t have air-conditioning as standard.’

‘So you stripped off and jumped under the covers because you were hot?’ Her prissy tone was starting to piss him off.

‘Yeah, I guess. What’s the matter? Did I snore? Or maybe I farted? Is that why you’re sitting right across the room?’

‘I have no idea,’ she said. ‘I went to sleep, vaguely aware that you were lying on top of my bed fully-clothed, and woke up to find you virtually naked, and nuzzling my neck!’

Paul laughed. ‘Sorry, babe. I don’t remember a thing. Did you nuzzle back?’ He had held her all night, unable to let her go. He could remember the feel of her thick towelling robe against his cheek. He had wanted to get closer, but knew she was in no fit state after her fall.

‘It’s not funny. I have no idea what happened last night. Those painkillers knocked me for six. Anything could have gone on for all I know.’

It took his sleep-addled mind a few seconds to process that. ‘What the hell are you implying?’ he asked softly. ‘That I took advantage of you? Jeez! You are kidding, right?’ He threw the sheet aside and stood up. Kate flinched. She looked away, staring out of the window.

He wanted Kate to look at him. To stretch out her arms and welcome him. He touched her chin and turned her face towards him. She met his gaze, her eyes troubled.

‘There’s another robe in the bathroom,’ she said. ‘Why don’t you put it on?’

‘It’s a little late for modesty, Kate. Even if we didn’t do the dirty deed, we slept together.’

‘I know. But put it on anyway, OK?’

He turned away and shut the bathroom door behind him. For a moment he leant against the cool basin. He was still trying to wake up and figure out what the hell was the matter with her this morning. ‘Coffee,’ he muttered. ‘I need coffee.’

He grabbed the robe and shoved his arms into it. The damned thing was too short and barely closed over his torso. The same size wrapped Kate up good and proper, covering her from chin to ankles. With a sigh he ran his hands through his hair, smoothing out the spikes, and splashed cold water on his face.

When he returned to the bedroom, Kate hadn’t moved from the window seat.

Ignoring her, he went to the phone and rang for room service. As he was placing his order for coffee, he was aware that she grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom. She slammed the door shut. He heard the bolt slide home and then the shower running.

While he was waiting for her, Paul ditched the robe. He pulled on his jeans, leaving them unbuttoned, but after sniffing his T-shirt decided to leave it off. She was still in the bathroom when the coffee arrived. By the time she emerged from the steamy en-suite, he was lounging against the headboard, a cup of black coffee coaxing him back to life.

‘Want some coffee?’ he asked. ‘I ordered enough for two.’

‘No thank you.’

‘Would you prefer tea?’

‘No.’

He frowned. ‘Do you need some more painkillers?’

‘No, I don’t.’

‘OK, don’t bite my head off. I only asked.’

‘Thank you, but you’ve done enough.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Nothing. It’s just … Oh, forget it!’

‘Like hell. Tell me you’re not still fretting that we did the dirty deed last night. Come on, Kate, what do you take me for?’

She swung round, pushing her damp hair back from her forehead. ‘Isn’t it bad enough that I woke up with you practically naked in my bed? Couldn’t you at least have put your shirt on before the porter arrived? The whole bloody hotel will know you spent the night in my room by now!’

He put his coffee cup down on the bedside table and got up slowly. ‘Are you worried the press will get hold of it?’

‘The press, the band, my mother, you name it!’

‘Kate, you were hurt. I was here to take care of you.’

‘I know that! But will anyone else believe it? I know my boss won’t, not after those photos.’

He stared at her for a long moment. ‘We can handle this. Don’t worry.’

Kate sank onto the edge of the bed and put her head in her hands. Paul came and sat beside her. He tried to put a comforting arm around her, but she struggled away. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this.’

‘What is wrong with you? I’m not coming on to you, dammit! I’m offering a friend some comfort.’

‘I know. I’m sorry. I just feel … You’re right, I do need some painkillers. I can’t think straight.’

Paul brought her the bottle of pills and a glass of water. She gave him a tight smile of thanks and downed two tablets.

‘Better?’

‘I will be. So long as I don’t go all woozy again.’

‘You’d better eat something. That’ll help. Shall I order …?’

‘No! No, I think you should go. I’ve got a cereal bar or something in my handbag.’

‘If you’re worried about anyone seeing me in here, we could go down to the restaurant.’

‘I’ll be OK on my own, thanks. I think it would be better if we weren’t seen together this morning, don’t you?’

‘Why? It’s only breakfast. We’ve shared a meal before.’

‘But that was before I got battered and you spent the night in my room.’

Paul raised his hands in surrender. ‘If you’d let us take you to the hospital and call the cops last night, there’d be no room for ugly rumour and supposition.’

‘Well it’s too late now. I’d just like to forget it happened.’

He could feel his blood pressure rising. ‘Everyone will be asking you about your injuries. You can’t ignore it. In fact, maybe we should get you to the hospital now if your head is still hurting.’

She shook her head. ‘It’s not that bad. Not enough to waste time in casualty.’

‘You’ll still have to tell people about it. Unless you’re going to wear a burkha.’

She thought about it for a moment, then nodded as she came to a decision. ‘In that case, they can read all about it in my next column.’

‘You’re going to write about last night?’

She shrugged. ‘I don’t want to, but I might as well get something out of it.’

He took a step back, hardly believing what she was saying. ‘That’s quite a turnaround, lady.’

‘Not really – I’m commissioned to write about what happens on tour. Last night’s episode will provide some human interest.’

He thought he was going to throw up.
I trusted her, dammit!
He thought about all of the things he’d told her about himself. How she’d begged him to open up to her. How he’d held her, wanting to keep her safe. Now she was going to tell the world about last night.

The phone rang, and she picked up the receiver. 

‘Good morning, Johnson,’ she responded to his greeting. ‘Yes, I’m feeling much better thank you. I told you there was no need to fuss.’

So why is she fussing now?

Paul could hear his father’s voice on the line. Johnson laughed and said ‘You sound just like your mama. She’s an independent lady too.’

‘Yep. I’m a chip off the old block.’

Paul picked up his cup and refilled it from the coffee pot.

‘So, no pain?’ he heard his dad ask.

‘I’ll live. I’ve got a lovely shiner though. Not fit to be seen in public.’ She glanced at Paul as his father asked if there was anything he could do. Kate sighed and closed her eyes. ‘No, I’m fine.’ She opened her eyes and looked straight at Paul. A shadow crossed her expression. ‘Well … actually, no. I’m not.’

Kate looked up at the ceiling. She wouldn’t look at him.

‘Johnson, will you to speak to my editor for me?’ she said into the phone. ‘I need some time off. I want to go home.’

Paul stopped dead, his face turning to stone, remembering what they’d been discussing before his dad had called.

‘I still want to complete the assignment,’ she went on. ‘I just … it’s my face … I don’t want to be wandering around where press photographers might take pictures. He’ll be more likely to accept it coming from you. If … if I go home to Wiltshire for a few days the bruises will heal … I know it sounds vain; well, I suppose it is vain, but …’

Paul waited, his mind whirling.

‘Today, if that’s all right.’

He wanted to grab the phone and tell his dad not to trust her.

‘Thanks,’ she said, obviously relieved.

Damn it! You just can’t wait to get away can you, Katie girl? Running home to write your next column. I wonder why you can’t write it here – no scratch that – I know exactly what you’ll be writing about. ‘My night with Paul Brand’.

She turned to put the phone back on its cradle as Paul moved. Kate was silent as he pulled his socks on. ‘Paul? Can we talk?’

He glanced up at her, his eyes cold, before reaching for his T-shirt. It was inside out.

‘Paul?’

He put his hands inside the shirt and flicked it through with a crack, before yanking it over his head. As his hands came through the arm holes, they were formed into fists.
How much dumber can I get? I’ve been had again. Another damned bitch is heading home to write her story and I didn’t even touch her.
‘No thanks.’

She stopped in front of him, her arms going round her body as if she felt the chill of his tone. He ignored her, sitting on the bed to pull on his trainers.

‘What’s the matter with you?’ she snapped. ‘You were the one who wanted to send me away. Now I’ve asked for a couple of days off, you’re acting like a spoilt child.’

‘I don’t know why you’re pissed,’ he responded. ‘I’m the one who’s been screwed.’

‘What?’

‘Hey, no sweat. I should be used to it by now. Chicks wanting to sleep with the rock star’s kid. You won’t be the first, babe, although you were certainly different. Maybe you should’ve stuck around for a few more nights to pick up a new angle on an old story. Or maybe you’re going to say I couldn’t get it up. Jeez! I never figured I could still be dumb enough to …’

‘Hang on a minute. You can’t honestly think I …’

‘I told you, they used to go after my dad, but he never played the game. So they figured I was the next best thing. It’s a long time since I’ve been caught, dammit! I usually spot ’em first these days.’

‘Paul, it wasn’t …’

‘Yeah, right. You’re planning on some quiet time to write your story for the paper. Hell, why not go for broke and write a damned book!’

‘Paul! How can y …’

‘Or are you going home to tell Mama I seduced you? Do you figure she’ll break up with my dad?’

‘No. I …’

He stood up, towering over her. ‘Because you’d be lying, Kate. You know it as well as I do. So don’t go claiming I drugged you or something. I’ll sue your ass from here to hell if you try that.’

She stepped back, her eyes filling with tears. For a moment he faltered, but then he hardened his heart.
Oh no, lady, you’re not going to sway me with tears! Better con artists have tried and failed!
He stepped back, determined not to reach for her.

‘Dear God,’ she whispered. ‘What a bitter, twisted, cynical bastard you are.’ She turned her back on him and walked over to the window. ‘I’d like you to leave now.’

For a moment he stood looking at her, uncertain.
What the hell is happening here? Last night I thought anything was possible with this woman. How the hell did it all go sour so quickly?
‘Kate …’

‘No. You’ve said enough. I don’t want to talk to you or see you right now, Paul. Please. Just go.’

Paul felt his chest tighten. Either he was making the biggest mistake of his life walking away, or she was making a complete fool of him, and the sooner he got away from her the better. He glanced at the bed where he’d held her so tenderly in his arms, then at Kate standing stiff and cold on the other side of it.
What the hell did it all mean?

If he hadn’t noticed how her hands were shaking, he might have believed that she didn’t give a damn. But she cared. He knew it. He also knew that right now she would die rather than admit it.

‘Kate …’ he hesitated.
Had he got it wrong? Had he let the past interfere with something that could be …

‘Get out, Brand!’ she raised her voice. ‘Get out and stay out!’

She wasn’t going to give him the chance to find out. Or maybe he was just kidding himself and he’d been had again.
‘OK, babe, I get the message,’ he ground out, suddenly so angry he wanted to hit something. ‘But be careful next time, because some poor sap might just think you were making love instead of copy.’

As Paul closed the door behind him with exaggerated calm, Kate sank down onto the window seat again, pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging them close.

She’d woken up in heaven, with Paul’s strong, warm arms around her. Watching him sleep as she’d tried to work out her confusion had been sweet torture. She’d wanted to wake him with kisses. Lord help her, she’d wanted to make love with him, for it never to end! But then she’d panicked.

She couldn’t get past her fears. Since the moment they’d met, Paul had left her feeling threatened and confused, and every day since then had served to strengthen the conviction that he was dangerous for her emotional health.