On Steady Ground (The Walker Brother's Series) (10 page)

“I set it up but I had Ben light the candles before he left to the bars for the night. I know you said you don’t want any alcohol so I can go back in and get something else for you.” He said turning to go back inside.”

“No. It’s perfect.” Grabbing his arm before he could leave. “Everything is so beautiful. I can’t believe you went to all this trouble just for me.”

“I wouldn’t go to all this trouble for anyone else.” Grabbing my hand and helping me into the chair.

“I just don’t even know what to say right now. I’ve never had anyone do anything like this for me.” Looking around at all the twinkling lights, the night sky lit up with the stars shining bright. It was the most romantic moment of my life and I owed it all to the incredibly sexy man sitting across from me. Was my luck finally changing? Dare I attempt to give my heart to this man? To love again and not be afraid that he’s going to turn against me. The fear was trickling up my spine and was almost crippling now. Everything was getting really serious and I no longer had the alcohol in my system to numb the fear and pain of the past.

Staring across the table at each other we drank the champagne, limiting myself to only one and made small talk. I asked him a lot of questions about the farm and the animals and his daily routine. The two topics we avoided entirely was his brother and what “almost” happened last night. When I started to yawn, he walked around the table and grabbed my hand walking me over to the hammock. Laying down first he steadied it while I slipped off my heels and crawled on next to him. The hammock forcing us close, half my body laid on his. Placing my head on his shoulder he ran his fingers through my hair as we gazed up at the stars. At this point, I knew my heart was in serious danger.

Kissing the top of my head, “I know you’re not ready for anything Lizzy but I like you. You are on my mind often and I hope we can do this again at some point.” He said unsure of himself, hoping nothing he was saying or doing was scaring her away in the other direction. Or worse yet, in his brothers arms.

“I hope we can to Ian.” Looking up into those blue eyes that continue to make me melt. My body starting to shake from the cold he carefully got up to get some blankets and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I was cold, but I was also scared. This was the proverbial fork in the road moment. Do I acknowledge and reciprocate his feelings? Or do I just try to play it cool and take my time? The last thing I wanted to do was push him away or make him think I wasn’t interested. Why couldn’t I be the carefree Lizzy for one night? Just go where my heart takes me. Because you did that one other time and you got saddled with a crazy husband. Was my mind ever going to quit arguing with my heart? Ian came back outside with a mound of blankets and I laughed as he carried them over. “I’m not sure I’m that cold.” I said giggling at him.

“I wasn’t taking any chances.” Walking over and carefully laying back down next to me, placing a blanket over top of our bodies and throwing the rest on the deck floor beside him. He was completely adorable, this strong, tall, unbelievably smoking hot man carrying out a mound full of blankets.

His cell phone ringing he started to dig it out of his pocket, “I’m sorry, I forgot to turn it down.”

“You know what happened last time it went off around me.” I said looking up at him with a flicker of amusement in my eyes.

Laughing, “How could I forget?” Bringing the phone up to look at it, I went to grab it and he tugged it away playfully. “Oh no ya don’t. You throw it into the pasture, I may never find it.” Starting to tickle me in return to keep me from grabbing it again. His phone had stopped ringing at that point but our tug of war hadn’t and before I knew what happened we were off the hammock and I was laying shocked on top of him. Roaring with laughter, he squeezed me tightly his phone still in hand, he had won the tug of war. Luckily, the blankets had broken his fall however, my little body landing on top of his massive one didn’t even seem to knock the wind out of him. I couldn’t help it when my lips came down on his, it was like my body was going to do what it wanted and I was helpless to do anything about it. If he was shocked he did well to hide it as his hands were up in my hair immediately, deepening the kiss his tongue dipping inside of my mouth immediately. The next few minutes were a blur and my brain must have decided to take a vacation because when I came back down to reality I had Ian’s shirt shed off and was kissing his chest.

His phone ringing again was the only thing that disconnected my lips from his body. Looking up at him this time he chucked it off the side of the deck. His hands reaching down for my face he brought me back up to his lips the desire evident in his eyes, this man was no longer joking. His hand slipped down my sides yanking my dress up to my waist and then up over my head. His fingers worked on my bra and it was off in seconds, my soft chest firmly pressed against his solid mass of muscles. Inching my way down his body I slowly unfastened his belt then worked on unbuttoning his pants. He made short order of kicking of his dress shoes and his pants were soon after off. He now was in just as a vulnerable position as I was. I don’t quite remember when both of us lost our underwear but I do know when he sat up and put me into a straddling position. At that moment I knew he was just as turned on as I was. His lips craving more of mine I pulled away briefly to gaze into his stunning blue eyes, “Please don’t hurt me. I can’t take any more hurt.” I pleaded as he pulled me in tighter, my legs wrapping around his muscular back.

“I would never hurt you Lizzy. Never.” His eyes never leaving mine as he spoke the words I had to hear.

“Promise me.” I knew a man making a promise to me rarely worked out in my advantage but I was hoping beyond hope that he was different. Praying that he was different.

“I promise.” He whispered his oath as we sealed it with another kiss. It was a chilly night but the heat of our bodies was causing us to sweat as we slipped across each other. When he finally forced himself inside of me the truth of the matter dawned upon me in the rush of the moment. I never loved Craig at all. I may have thought I did, but it wasn’t real. This was real. This man holding me tenderly as he brought me to heights that I have never been before is what is real. I wanted to scream out to him that I loved him but instead held back, afraid of ruining this perfect moment in time. The moments slipped by us and I savored each one as he held me close while he made love to me. Flipping me over onto the blankets he was careful not to crush me with his over six foot stature as he slowed his pace and looked down on me. His hair falling forward into his eyes, the sweat was slowly trickling a path down his tanned chest onto his abs. When that moment of pure bliss finally hit us both I didn’t want it to end. I wanted this moment forever locked in time.

I’m not sure when I fell completely in love with this man but I was sure in this moment that I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone. The thought sending a shooting pain through my heart of fear. I wanted to remain naked and wrapped up in his arms, but I also wanted to run in utter complete terror of these new crippling feelings. When his head pulled up from my shoulder he kissed me gently on the lips before he fell down beside me, flipping me over on top of him. Grabbing a blanket he threw it over the top of my now shaking body. He had no idea that I was shaking from the fear of the situation instead of the chilly night.

His heart was pounding and he could hardly believed what had just happened. Asking himself over and over if this moment was real or one of his dreams. The possessiveness he was now feeling over this woman wrapped up in his arms was now beyond his control. Now there was no way he could sit back and let her choose without fighting for her. If she chose his brother at this point it would kill him. He wanted her as his own. Thinking now to himself how she may even be the woman he would want to marry someday. The thought didn’t scare him like he would imagine, instead it made him happy at the thought. The happiest he has ever been. Until this moment he had never found that woman that left him wanting more and he wasn’t about to give that up.

Dozing in and out, I was blissfully happy and warm. At some point I ended up curled into his side, his arm around me securely. The symphony of the crickets in the field slowly singing me to sleep. In the distance a hoot owl made itself known and I vaguely remembered thinking how beautiful it sounded. Neither one of us said a word, rather just laid together and enjoyed the after glow. I have never felt safer sleeping than when I am next to Ian and my body seemed to know that as it surrendered completely into unconsciousness. When I woke up again, the sound of the crickets were now gone and all was completely quiet. Opening my eyes slowly I was now in a bed and a room I didn’t recognize. Sitting up Ian was laying beside me, sheets hastily wrapped around his mid-section. The moonlight being the only illumination, it trickled through the fabric across the windows and onto his bare chest. His head turned to the side, he was no longer clean shaven and had the sexiest five o’clock shadow now showing on his face. His hair no longer styled was strewn all over, the front down over his forehead now. My eyes slowly working it’s way down to his solid mass of muscles that seemed like moments ago I had my hands and lips all over were now relaxed instead of contracting under my touches. Just when I thought he couldn’t get any sexier he seems to continually prove me wrong. My heart warmed to know that he was finally worn out enough to sleep. Laying back down I slid closer to his side placing one leg over his, my arm resting over his stomach.

I didn’t wake up again until there was actual sunlight now poking through the window. This time Ian was very much awake and was laying comfortably while my head rested on his shoulder.

“Morning beautiful.” Smiling down at me as I looked up at him.

Returning the smile, “Morning.” My heart beating rapidly as my dream man stared back at me.

“You are so unbelievably gorgeous Lizzy.” He said sweeping my hair out of my eyes. Leaning down and kissing me gently on the lips. One kiss and I could feel my body fire back up to life. My inner self still praying that this man was different from pretty much all my past experiences, even his brother. “Do you have to work today?” He asked filling the silence.

“Yeah I have to work noon to eight cooking. What time is it?” Looking around for a clock, all of a sudden now shy about being naked. Turning an alarm clock around it read nine in the morning and I couldn’t believe we had slept that long. Sitting up and clutching the sheet to my chest I looked back at him still as wonderfully naked as I was. The tension at the moment you could cut with a knife. Sitting up behind me he kissed my shoulder bringing his arms under the sheet and around my stomach and it seemed to melt away a little. This man could easily diffuse any tension I felt with just one touch, it was an amazing talent.

“So would you like for me to cook you breakfast?” He asked sweetly.

“I’m not sure if I’m really all that hungry. I might eat something.” I offered to not sound unappreciative.

“Okay.” Wrapping one of the blankets around his waist he stood up and paused in front of me. “Come down when you’re ready. I have to go fish my phone out of the pasture first.”

Busting out laughing I tried to stifle it back, covering my smile with the back of my hand.

Looking at me amused he leaned down into my face, inches away he leaned into my ear. “Laugh all you want pretty girl but you may owe me a phone before all this is over.” Nipping at my ear playfully he stood and walked over to the corner dropping the blanket and pulling on a pair of jeans. I had to admit I admired the show and was disappointed when the jeans slid over his tight body. Turning around they rode low on his hips and I got to admire the lines of the muscles that dipped down below making me want round two more than anything.

“See you in a bit beautiful.” Smiling and walking out.

He did find his phone and I picked at my breakfast, my nerves still tied in knots. It wasn’t anything he was doing or saying it was the little voice inside of me telling me to be careful. Telling me this man is to good to be true. This man is to handsome, bordering on beautiful he didn’t have to be with only one person. My biggest hurdle at this point seemed to be trusting my heart. My heart knew this was the kind hearted Ian that I went through high school with. The same guy that didn’t sleep around. Didn’t jump from one girl to another. The same guy who respected everyone and would never hurt anyone unprovoked. The problem I knew was with me and also what Craig did to me to make me think these toxic thoughts.

The ride back to my apartment was rode in small talk, the sexual tension crackling in the air between us. I didn’t know how to approach the subject of seeing him again and I was hoping he would mention something and take it out of my hands entirely.

When we parked out side of my apartment he insisted upon walking me back upstairs and since I was wearing such nice clothes so early in the morning walking with Ian, I was sure everyone would be talking. Oh yes, his brother and everyone else in this town would know in no time at all. The only reason I worried being I didn’t want any animosity between brothers. We got upstairs with little incident and we stopped in front of my door. Leaning in closely he put one arm up above my head leaning me into the door and completely engulfing me with his body. Looking at me more intense than I have ever seen before he kissed me softly on the lips.

“I want to see you again.”

“Yes.” I whispered looking up into his eyes.

“Call me after you get off of work.”

“Yes.” Shaking my head again I was sure I looked like a deer in the headlights.

Smiling widely at me, “Okay, see you soon Lizzy.” Turning and walking down the stairs, I watched him until he rounded the corner and out of my sight.

I knew I walked around with a goofy grin on my face most of the day, everyone commenting on how happy I looked. I was hoping beyond hope that I would see him again tonight and couldn’t wait until I got off of work to give him a call.

Finally the hour came in which I was nervous about and looking forward to at the same time. Quitting time. Walking out to the front to say my goodbyes to Mrs. Taylor I was surprised to see Grant seated at the bar looking down with a stoic look on his face. When I walked up to him, he immediately switched to a huge smile.

“Hi Lizzy.” He said pushing away his coffee cup.

“Hi Grant. You’re out this way late.” I said trying to be friendly and ignore our encounter yesterday.

“Yeah, Tasha said she had something pressing to do so here I am.” Running his fingers up and through his hair. His eyes looked tired and that rarely was the case with Grant.

“She’s a very pretty woman.” Trying to hold the smile and not choke while I said it.

Smiling, “Yeah and you hate her.”

“I don’t hate her.” Looking away at the door. I was a horrible liar.

Laughing, “Yeah you do. I can see it in your eyes.”

Huffing, “Okay, I hate her. She’s so sl-.. never mind.” Stopping myself before I called her sleazy.

Smiling in my direction, “She is a bit…well lets just say she is high-maintenance and knows a lot of men.”

Looking at him seriously now, “Why do you want to be with someone like that?”

“Because the one I want has made it evident that she wants my brother. She keeps the bed warm, what can I say.”

Shaking my head frustrated, “What is going on with Ian and I is yet to be determined. You however, can do so much better than Tasha.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Smirking and reaching for my hand.

Pulling away like I had touched a hot stove, his face turned into a frown. “I can’t Grant. Not when I’m becoming involved with someone else. I’m just not that type of person.”

His handsome face turning back into a smile he leaned forward across the table, “I haven’t given up on you yet Lizzy.” Stepping down from the stool he sauntered out of the diner his cockiness still fully intact.

The man was infuriating at times and I pushed it out of my head as I said my goodbyes to everyone for the night. Walking up to my apartment, I could hardly wait to call Ian. Looking at the clock it was now 8:30 and I made a snap decision instead. Rushing into my bedroom I quickly changed into a nice pair of form fitting shorts with some sandals and a tank top. Dialing the cab number I was downstairs in minutes walking out of the back door and going to visit Ian instead. I not only wanted to hear his voice I wanted to see him. My need to wrap my arms around him greater than my need for sleep after this long day.

The ride to the old farm house, I kept thinking about what I was going to say, or if he was even going to be home. Hoping it wasn’t going to be a complete wasted trip. Thinking maybe I would go visit Ben also while I was out this way. Finally the long gravel driveway appeared out of the dusk. Coming up onto the house, there was a car parked in front that I didn’t recognize. Instructing the cab to pull off in the direction of Ben’s house instead we were more out of sight, stepping out and telling him to wait a second my heart dropped. Just when I thought my heart couldn’t be crushed anymore stood Tasha in little to nothing in front of the door her arms wrapped around Ian’s neck. Tears burning behind my eyes I dropped my purse making a racket as I sat back down in the cab and instructed him to take me home. Ian’s eyes wide, he pushed Tasha to the side running to the end of the porch calling my name. It was to late, the damage was done and I refused to look back through the window. I would not be made a fool of again. Not ever. My heart more damaged now than Craig could have ever done to me. Stifling back the tears I kept telling myself to wait until I got home to let the flood gates rush open.

“Tasha get out of my way.” She stood blocking his path down the steps.

“Why don’t you want me Ian?” Fluttering her eyelashes looking up at him with the most seductive smile she could muster. Reaching out and trying to lace her arms around him again.

“I told you not to touch me. I’m involved with someone else and I have no interest in you.”

Her eyes firing with fury, “Every guy has interest in me.” She stomped her foot trying to strip off her top now. “You know you want me, it doesn’t have to be a big deal Ian. No one has to know.”

Looking up and down the lane the cab was now gone and his torment was lacing furiously through his body. He knew it looked bad, especially to someone as freshly wounded as Lizzy. He wanted to yell at the top of his lungs, to hit something hard.

“Tasha go back to my brother.” He said starting to walk back in his door to retrieve his truck keys. He had to find Lizzy and explain. How was he ever going to make her believe him?

Running to block his path again, she licked her lips seductively “How about I come in for a night cap?” She asked willing to do anything it took at this point.

Gritting his teeth together, “The only reason I haven’t hauled you off my property myself is that I have respect for my brother. Now leave before I call him to come for you.”

Pouting she crossed her arms across her breasts that were now spilling out, “No. I’m not going.”

“Fuck.” He shouted aggravated at the way his perfect day turned to shit in all of ten minutes. Heaving her over his shoulder she started to purr with excitement until he headed the opposite way of his screen door. Walking down the steps and to her car like a man driven he opened the drivers side door and plopped her down in the seat. “Leave now.”

Fury flashing through her eyes, “She is gone Ian, you could have had me. Instead you are going back inside your house alone. You will regret the day you sent me away.” She spat anger burning through her body, rejection from a man hitting her for the first time. Slamming the car door she sped off throwing gravel all over.

Running back into the house he grabbed his keys and prayed that the damage wasn’t irreversible. How could this have happened? He kept asking himself. He loved this girl, more than anything. He knew there was never any replacing her. He would never dream of ever doing anything of risking that, he just wish she knew that. His heart heavy, scared that he had lost her forever. The feelings he was feeling now making it even more evident that this girl managed to own him in such a short time. Dialing her number as he slid into his truck he prayed that she would answer.

My phone ringing in my purse it didn’t take a brain surgeon to realize who it was and I wasn’t interested in hearing the lies and excuses. I’ve been down this road before and it never ended good switching off the ringer. As the cab driver pulled up in front of the diner I threw the money in the front seat and ran for the back door launching myself up the steps to my apartment. Locking the door, I turned off all the lights to give the perception that I wasn’t home. I didn’t want to talk to him or anyone, the tears streaming heavier down my face now. How could I let this happen to me again? I thought. Of all people, Ian. I was sure he would never do such a thing to me. My mind trying to make excuses for him. My heart stricken with the promises he made just last night before we made love. How could I be so stupid? I sobbed as I fell onto my bed, sobbing into the pillow. Minutes later, a heavy knock at my door resounded through my whole apartment. Cutting back the sobs, I brought me knees up muffling my hysterics into my pillow.

“Lizzy please honey. Please open up.” He pleaded. “It wasn’t what it looked like. You know me Lizzy. Please.”

The pain in his voice almost fooled me into opening the door. Almost. My body and mind still in shock I couldn’t face him with the way I was feeling. I had to harden my heart, make people think that we were no big deal. I couldn’t take the humiliation of this again.

“Please.” I heard him plead one last time before I heard him go down the steps.

Peaking out my window I watched him walk to his truck and leave. I should have known, someone so handsome could never stay faithful to me. Replaying the scene I came up on over and over in my head. There was no denying it, she was barely dressed hanging on him. Still my mind had problems wrapping around the situation. Scolding my heart for being stupid, I rolled over and stared hopelessly at the wall for the rest of the night. The next morning there was a knock at my door again, I ignored it. Four missed calls over night, I ignored them. I knew it was Ian. Calling in sick, I couldn’t muster up the strength to work when I could hardly keep my eyes open. The stress and exhaustion finally over taking me I slept well into the afternoon.

He was miserable. How the hell could he explain when she wouldn’t answer her phone or her door? He thought silently doing chores as he hadn’t slept all night. Ben kept questioning him about his weird behavior but he didn’t want to talk about it. He preferred to be miserable in silence. He was dreading the next call he had to make, and that was to Grant. However he felt about his big brother at this point he wasn’t going to not tell him about his girlfriend Tasha’s little stunt.

Grant pressed the off button and slid his phone back into his pocket. He had to admit that he no longer held the hostility he felt only moments ago against his little brother. Now he felt sorry for him in the fact that he had never heard his brother sound so down. The realization hitting him on how very much he must love Lizzy, more so than he ever did or could. The fact bothered him but deep down he knew who the better man was for her. Who was ready to settle down and the fact of the matter is, it wasn’t himself. Shaking his head as he slipped off his tie, he wasn’t surprised about Tasha’s behavior. She was hardly known for being the loyal type of girl. Sitting down on his couch and flipping on the television he told himself he would back off and let his little brother have a fair shot at Lizzy. That is if she talks to him ever again. He felt a little guilty for bringing such a toxic woman around his brother in the first place. However, he could hardly help running into him at the restaurant. He knew immediately Tasha’s interest was peaked and he should have warned him that she might come around sniffing. Popping a beer open he told himself he would just have to see how everything unfolds.

As I lay here I keep telling myself to grow a set and get up and show him what he’s missing. Feeling like a wounded animal I could hardly muster an ounce of energy to do just that. I knew that was my scorned side talking. I didn’t have it in me to try to make anyone jealous, especially Ian. Frowning that I just couldn’t shut off the flood of emotions that were bombarding me. Just go talk to him Lizzy. What do you have to lose? My eternal dialogue arguing back and fourth. Lose? How about self respect? Pride? Standards? Pick any of them. I already told myself that I was allowing myself one day to wallow in self pity and then I had to get up and move on…..again. That self pity telling me that it was my own fault really. To fall so hard so fast, entirely trusting someone again, it was my own stupidity. Still in disbelief that Ian could do that. I expected that from Grant, but never Ian.

My phone beeping with a text message I looked at my phone with apprehension. Thankfully it was Ben.

“What did you do to Ian? He is walking around like someone ran over his puppy. He doesn’t have a puppy but I imagine that is what he would look like if he did.” He rambled. I missed Ben’s ramblings.

“I didn’t do anything, he is the one that did it. I saw him, he cheated on me.” I sent back rather bluntly.

“I find that hard to believe Lizzy. Have you ever known Ian to be that way at all? He’s hurting Lizzy, it’s obvious. You should talk to him.”

“Why? To be further humiliated? I’ll pass.” I wrote back stubbornly.

“*Sighing in annoyance* Okay let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do. Bye.”

Our conversation ended, and he had a point. Usually past experiences were good predictors of future ones and that just wasn’t Ian. So, he was miserable? Good. Well I guess there was a silver lining. I knew I was going to have to come face to face with him eventually, how I reacted to it was up to me. It was obvious that my feelings for him were a lot stronger than what he felt for me. Maybe that was the part that was hurting the most. You were used Lizzy, get over it. The inner doubt chipping away at my self-esteem again. The next day I had to waitress and I was loathing the very thought of it. I knew I was going to come face to face with him sooner than I would like.

The dreaded day came and I covered the bags under my eyes with make-up. Looking at myself in the mirror, I gave a good impression of my everyday self. Telling myself to keep my mouth shut as much as possible to keep up the facade. I knew when I opened my mouth that was when I was going to get myself in trouble. Truth of the matter is that I’m not a very good liar. I absolutely suck in fact. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am usually a slave to it. This time had to be different. I have to put up the best performance of my life. Show no weaknesses, I told myself as I walked down the stairs and to the day awaiting me.