Once Written, Twice Shy (The Broken Men Chronicles) (8 page)

My tongue might have been too much for her but she
sure as hell wasn’t complaining about my hand as she rode it.  I took the
opportunity to marvel at her many faces of ecstasy as I let her find a rhythm
that better stroked her needs.

“Beautiful,” I said, “you’re absolutely breathtaking.”

As her momentum built, she tilted her head forward
and opened her eyes.  Her climax was like seeing fireworks go off in those
irises.  She bit on her bottom lip, preventing her scream from erupting into my
face while her body shuddered over me, her core squeezing my two digits.

Her internal tremors subsided and I pulled my hand
away.  “Amazing,” I whispered against her lips, before assisting her to her
wobbly legs.

I wrapped a towel around her body, kissing away
the beads of water that remained on her shoulders from behind.  She leaned back
into me and I folded my arms around her torso.

“Tired?” I asked.

“Not really, I think that shower woke me up.”  She
winked at me in the vanity mirror.  Her towel fell to the floor as she walked
out of my grasp.  “Come to bed, I want to cuddle.”

“You know damn well that won’t happen with you naked.”

“Are we having a hard time controlling
ourselves?”  She laughed before throwing me a devilish smile over her shoulder.

“It’s not me I’m worried about, sweetheart, it’s
you,” I said before dropping my own terrycloth sheet and following her.

I sat with her between my legs, wrapped in the sheets
as we watched some TV.  Alissa had grown silent, her laughter at the sitcom
that was on had halted altogether.  I looked down to find her sound asleep.  Leaning
my head onto the padded headboard, I closed my eyes.

Morning had come and I realized that I was alone in
my room.  A listening ear was all it took to know that Alissa was in the
bathroom, taking a shower.  The smell in the air told me that she had made
coffee.

I rushed downstairs, grabbed two cups, added her
cream and sugar just like I’d watched her do over the last few days.  By the
time I had returned, she stood in the bathroom doorway with nothing on but my
black dress shirt from last night, her tresses, damp.

“I love seeing you in my clothes, that shirt looks
better on you than me,” I said.

I put the coffee mugs down on the bedside table
and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Good morning,” she said and came to a stop
between my legs.  She gave me a chaste kiss before wrapping her arms around
me.  My hands rubbed up the back of her thighs and made contact with her bare
bottom.  I arched my brow at her.  “Don’t you get any ideas, mister.”  She giggled
into the top of my head, her fingers entangled in my messy hair as she deposited
a kiss to the crown, “Not that I’m complaining but I’m a little sensitive this
morning from your hefty dose of lovin’.”

The phone rang, breaking us out of our moment. 
One look at the caller ID and I set the cordless back down with a grunt.

“What’s the matter?”

“It’s Julie,” I said.

“Answer it.”

Picking up the phone, I hit
talk
.

If I only knew how I’d wish I hadn’t.

“Hello.”

“I need you to look after Jasper,” Julie said
without a word of greeting.

“That’s fine.”

“You’re sure?”

“I said I’m fine with it so yeah, I’m sure.”

“Is
she
there?” she asked.

“Yes, why?”

“I want her gone, Pax,” she demanded.

“It’s not happening, Julie,” I said.

I remained short with my ex through the entire
conversation.

“Forget it then,” she said.  “I’ve told you I
don’t want her around my son and if you refuse-”

“Then you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”

After I slammed the phone down on its charging
base, the good mood I had woken up in had evaporated, being replaced with
anger, worry and stress, not to mention loss.

“Damn her!”

“What’s wrong?” Alissa asked and kneeled onto the
floor in front of me.  “What’d she say?”

“How do I tell you this,” I said as I debated
where to start and rubbed one hand down my face.

“It’s obviously not pretty so just say it.  I’m
not going anywhere, honey.”

I took a deep breath and nodded.  “Julie’s still
refusing to sign the papers.”

Her jaw dropped but just as quickly, she closed
her mouth and her lips formed a thin line.  “I’m sorry.”

“I wish she would just give for once,” I said.

“You know as well as I do that you’d most likely
have to force the issue, so why do I get the feeling that there’s more to all
of this?”

“‘Cause there is.  She wanted me to look after
Jasper again.  When she found out that you were still around, she flipped and
told me that I wouldn’t be seeing my son so I told her that I’d be calling my
lawyer.”

“Maybe I should go.”  She got up and I could see
the hurt in her eyes.  I hated that I had been part in putting such a look
there when all I wanted was to see her smile, hear her laugh, have her close. 
My subconscious reminded me that Julie was really the one at fault.

I grabbed her wrists and pulled her back to me. 
“No,” I said and leaned my cheek into her stomach with my arms holding her in
place, “I’m not letting you go.”

“But what about Jasper?”

I pulled back and looked up at her.  “He’s my
life, yes, but I still want to see where
this
, between us, can go,” I
said.  “Julie’s being unreasonable.  This’ll all blow up in her face once I get
my lawyer involved.”

“I don’t want to be mixed into this more than I
already am, Pax, I don’t want to cause trouble.”  Her hand caressed the side of
my face.

“You’re not,” I said, rubbing my face into her palm,
“you’re not an issue in all of this, Allie.”

“Julie made me an issue whether you’re willing to
admit it or not,” she said, “I’m the one who’s standing between you having a relationship
with your son and I can’t have that kind of guilt on my conscience, maybe it is
best if I go.”

“Any judge will see through Julie’s façade,” I said
and pulled her down so she straddled my thighs.  Our faces were mere inches
away from one another.  “I can’t let Jasper go but I’m not letting you go either. 
I think I’m entitled to my happiness in this mess and you make me happy, Allisa.”
 I grabbed her face and crashed my lips to hers.

She didn’t hesitate to open up and let me in.  We
tumbled back onto the bed.

When I reached up to remove my shirt from her body,
she covered my hands with hers and took over with the strip-tease.  Her glossy eyes
never left mine.

She rubbed me up and down her folds and guided my
protected shaft into her core.

“You’re unbelievable,” I said, “but are you sure
you’re not too sore?”

She shook her head.  “I’ll be fine.”

Something about this time felt different than all
the others.  Sure, she was on top but this time, it was rough, it was needy, it
was filled with unspoken emotion—carnal—primal in nature. 
Need
won over
want
.

My hands glided up the sides of her torso and
grasped her breasts.  The way she rode me was like she was trying to quench a
thirst she had been cursed with.  She was beautiful with her head arched back,
her hips moving in a sensual circular rhythm while she satisfied herself with a
little up and down bobbing.

Her hands rubbed up my chest and I took that
opportunity to pull her down so our bodies were pressed together in length. 
Her eyes had come back to mine as I rocked my hips in time to hers, slowing our
rhythm.

The heat building up between us began to take its
toll.  I felt her insides spasm around me as she reached the edge of her climax. 
I could tell she fought the urge to explode as if she didn’t want it to end.

“Come for me, baby,” I told her as I suckled her bottom
lip in an act to keep kissing her.  I felt her clamp down.  “That’s right,
baby, give it all to me.”

As her fit of bliss calmed, I flipped her onto her
back.  I wasn’t ready to be done with her yet.

I thrust as deep as possible into her a few times,
extending the end of her release before almost pulling out of her.  I teased
her a few times, massaging her clit with my thumb at the same time.

I felt her flex her muscles around my engorged
girth; squeezing yet pulling me further into her depths.  I groaned.  “God,
Allie,” I said, “you feel better every time.”  I struggled to maintain the slow
pace I was carrying as the arching of her hips into each of my thrusts combined
with her tremors were inching me closer to detonation.

Her moans got louder and my thrusts began to speed
up.  Her hands found the sides of my face.  She kissed my lips as if in need of
air and ran her hands down to leave them on my chest while she pulled back to
look at me.  Her emotions weren’t hard to read: lust, sadness, joy, something
that looked like love…no, regret?  Our release taking over, I slowed as our
worlds imploded.  All I saw were white spots cross my field of vision, Alissa
staring back at me at its epicentre.

My thrusts had stopped and I lay over her, still sheathed
by her warmth as we exchanged sweet kisses.  “How ‘bout you get ready for the
day,” I said and gave her a decisive peck, “while I go make us some breakfast.”

***

I was looking forward to spending a quiet day with
Alissa.  After my call with Julie, she had been amazing with making me forget
about the resulting conversation.  Hell, my mood had done a complete one-eighty.

Something bothered me about our last coupling
though.  As into it as Alissa had been, her mind seemed like it was off
somewhere else.

You’re overthinking things.

The woman in question came down and joined me in
the kitchen.  We ate with minimal conversation and I got up to collect her
plate.

She turned me around at the sink.  “Go do your
thing, I’ll handle the dishes.”

“Back in fifteen,” I said.

With a long hug and a chaste kiss, I headed
upstairs.  The feeling that something was amiss continued to hover about.  My
gut still churned and I knew it hadn’t been the food we had eaten.

When I got downstairs, I noticed how quiet it was. 
I thought that perhaps she had been sitting in the kitchen with her laptop
writing when I hadn’t spotted her in the living room.  I smiled at the thought
of seeing what she looked like in a writing spree.  But just as I’d found the
living room to be empty, so was the kitchen.

What the hell?

The piece of paper, folded on the kitchen table
grasped my attention.  Picking it up, I began to read…

My dearest Paxton,

You are, by far, the most incredible man I’ve ever
met.  It’s why I couldn’t bring myself to do this in person and for that I’ll forever
be sorry.

I’ve gone home.

I know you’ve said to stay and to be honest, I
almost did but for selfish reasons.  I’m leaving because right now, Jasper
needs a father more than I need a man.  I know you said that you would fight
all of this and that everything would work itself out but I feel that by being
here, I might hinder progress and I can’t have that on my conscience—not if
there could be an
us
and God do I hope that there still will be.

Please know that this isn’t goodbye, not unless
you want it to be.  You don’t need the added stress with Julie and if me being
out of the picture for now works best then so be it.

I have nothing to regret about our time
together with the exception of what I’m doing right now.  Paxton, you are an
amazing man, a man I’ve always dreamt of having and that’s what makes this so
hard.  I hope that you find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving this way,
taking the cowardly way out.  Please know that I’ll still be around.  I may not
be there in person but I’m always there for you and as we’ve resolved, you’ll
have to get rid of me yourself.

What you’ve managed to make me feel in these
few days together and over the last ten months at a distance, those are
memories I’ll always hold dear to my heart.  I will never let go of those and
I’m terrified that I’ll be the only one to hold on to it all in the end. 
That’s a risk I’m willing to take.  You’re worth it.

Always yours with love,

Your woman,

Alissa

My heart sank further into the pit of my stomach
with each subsequent time I read her letter.  I couldn’t breathe.  I knew the
why and I understood as much as it hurt like hell.  For the first time in my
life, I had someone I felt I couldn’t live without.  Sure, you’re thinking that
I would feel that way about my son and you’re right.  But this thing with
Alissa was different on so many levels.  She held the potential to being my
partner, my equal.  I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t already started to see her
in that light.

I knew I couldn’t chase her to the airport.  Leaving
hadn’t been easy for her and I wanted to honor her decision.  I knew it was for
the best.  It took her leaving that letter to convince me.  With Alissa gone, I
would be able to concentrate fully on seeking a resolution to end my marriage
and ensure that I didn’t lose Jasper.  If I were lucky enough, I wouldn’t lose
Alissa either.  I cursed Julie for putting me in this predicament.

Enough is enough.

I fished out my cell and searched my contacts for
the number I needed.  If it was a war Julie wanted, it was one that she would soon
regret bringing to light.  Jake would make sure of it and if I knew him well
enough, he’d put a rush on it.

***

I walked out of my lawyer’s office with a sense of
confidence that I would soon see an end.  The courts had been called and we had
a date set for next Wednesday.  Of course I had paid a premium for Jake to pull
in a few favors and rush things but I was done waiting; having a lawyer as a
best friend sure as hell helped.  Jake knew his stuff and he was a force to be
reckoned with in the room when it came down to family matters.  I had no doubt
that Julie would regret pushing me this far.

I had the urge to share my good news with someone
that would appreciate it but the only person I wanted to inform was no longer around.

I knew that it would take Alissa a few hours if
she’d managed to get on a direct flight but I had no clue if she had managed just
that or if she’d ended up with a lay-over.  Doing the math in my head, I
grabbed the phone and decided to chance it.

A knock on my door tore me away from my plan.

I pocketed my phone and answered it.  I groaned at
my disruption.

“How could you?” Julie asked with tears streaming
down her face.

“I’ll see you in court on Wednesday.  Anything you
have to say you can say to my lawyer.  We’re done here unless your visit
concerns our son.”

I looked around to see that Jasper wasn’t anywhere
to be seen.  With that, I slammed the door in her face.