One Little Kiss (2 page)

I only hope I can walk away again when the sun rises tomorrow morning.

CHAPTER TWO

Jonas

There is only one fucking bed.

I’m stuck for the night in a hotel room with Leighton and her goddamn red lipstick and there is only one bed. I dump my backpack on the floor and take the three steps necessary to grab the phone from the bedside table. I punch the button for the front desk, lower myself to the mattress, and wait for the clerk to pick it up. It rings once, twice, cutting off halfway through number three when she answers.

“How can I help you?”

“Can we have a cot delivered to room 1503?” I take a steadying breath, rubbing my sweaty palm against the denim of my jeans. My hands still shake when I automatically reach for my pack of cigarettes. Damn it. Two years past quitting and it is still a natural reflex.

“I’m sorry Mr. Sutton but we don't have any cots left.”

“Well, can we get a room with two beds?” I silently plead with the universe not to fuck with me tonight. Not with this girl. I stood up and played white knight when Landon called me and surely that was enough to cut me a break?

“We don’t have rooms vacant in the hotel.”

Of course they don’t.

My vision blurs in my right eye and I blink rapidly, rubbing it with my palm as I thank her and hang up the phone. My left eye is clear and my vision is as good as it could be in the dimly lit room, but the shadows are fuzzier in my right eye as I lower my hand and scan the room. I’m getting used to these moments, the panic as my eyes adjust is no longer as sharp in my chest but still, I lower myself to the bed and close my eyes.

I feel the bed jostle a little under Leighton’s weight when she joins me, her sigh long and loud in the room. I don’t need to look to know that she is close, her head mere inches from mine on the coverlet.

“So I guess we’re sharing a bed,” she observes. “I can be a big kid about it if you can.”

I huff out a laugh of sorts at her words. A few months ago and I might have been quick to agree with her but after New Year’s Eve, denying the feelings I have for Leighton is impossible. I’m not even touching her but the knowledge that she is so close, the smell of her rose perfume and the sharp metallic edge of the snow and cold on her hair puts me on edge.

“I promise to keep all my boy parts away from your girl parts,” I say, trying to keep it light. I didn’t miss the carnal equivalent to electroshock therapy that happened when we touched back at the terminal. I want this girl. I have always wanted this girl.

But once again our timing sucks.

She says nothing and I turn my head towards her, slowly opening my eyes to look at her. My vision is clearer or I’m closer than I thought because her big hazel eyes are staring right at me, her hair has fallen in a damp tousle around her face and those ruby red lips make my breath stutter audibly in my chest. Everything on me gets tight, even my chest is constricted, my cock getting hard under the cover of denim.

But I know the reason she left me naked and alone on New Year’s morning. The same reason I didn’t pursue her. I know where she lives. Fuck, I know where Landon keeps her spare apartment key at our place. She’s not fuck buddy material, not even a casual girlfriend. Leighton—my Red—has “the one” written all over her.

What has pulsed between us for four years has always had the potential for the kind of greatness that can make you happy your whole life or bring you to your knees and never let you back up. We didn’t have the space for that four years ago and we don’t have it now. There’s already too many moving parts in our lives.

Her stomach growling stops me from doing something outrageously stupid. Her eyes fly wide open, a flush of red creeping across her neck and cheeks just seconds before she covers her face with her hands. I laugh, not only because it’s hilarious but from relief that the spell has been broken for a moment and I have another mission. I’m better when I have things to keep my hands busy.

Idle hands. Devil’s workshop. I have a front row seat for that class.

“Let’s find you some food.” I lever off the bed and reach for my wallet and the room keys lying on the TV stand. “The hotel restaurant is closed but the desk clerk said there’s a pub open around the corner.”

Leighton hesitates at the edge of the bed, head dipped down, hair shielding her face from me.

“If you’re worried about the snow, you’ve got sturdy boots on. We should be fine.”

She shakes her head, auburn strands catching what little light is given by the bedside table lamp. I watch as Leighton leans down and grabs the case that holds her violin.

“It’s not that. There’s no room safe and I don't want to leave Wonder Woman.”

“I’ll carry it. No problem.” I take the hard case from her and sling it over my shoulder as we leave the room and take the elevator down the fifteen floors to the lobby. The hotel is pretty quiet considering the number of people staying there. They must be exhausted after spending the day at the airport and are holed up in their rooms. The clerk nods as we leave and resumes her typing while the 24/7 news shows tell us there is a blizzard happening on every TV in the space. Thanks for the information, Captain Obvious.

Stepping out onto the cold sidewalk is like entering into another dimension and my fingers ache to hold a brush, a pencil. My sketchpad is in the room with my backpack but I know I’ll try to recreate this scene later.

Everything is covered in white. The sky is a silvery, metallic gray only interrupted by the glistening flakes tumbling down in a constant fall of fat, fluffy snow. The blanket of two or three feet is a buffer against any noise and with the normal traffic off the busy street the hush is similar to the one found in a cathedral. The scenery is so clean, pristine, perfect. I hate to ruin it with footprints.

Leighton reads my mind. “I don’t want to mess it up.”

“I know.” I look down a few blocks where I can see the warm glow of the pub’s lights on the snow. “But food is down there.”

She looks to where I’m nodding. “You can’t just snap your fingers and put us over there?”

“I have magical powers but that isn’t one of them.”

Leighton slides a glance over to me and I see the heat. She’s gone straight for the sexy in that innuendo. My dirty girl. It was the biggest surprise when we’d ended up in bed that night and I loved that about her. It didn't fit with the utter calm and poise she portrays to the world and I make believe that it is reserved only for me.

I shake my head. That kind of thinking has to end right here and right now or this night is going to end with me sleeping in the bathtub after a very cold shower.

“Let’s go,” I say and jerk my chin towards the lights.

She follows beside me and I extend my hand to steady her if she needs it. It isn’t super slippery but you never know what is underneath the white stuff.

“So, are you still going to make the festival with this delay?” I ask as we switch from the uneven sidewalk to the obstruction-free middle of the road.

“Yeah. I’m not performing for a couple of days. I might not be as rested but I’ll be there in time to perform.” She glances up at the sky and then back at me. “Unless this becomes snowmageddon and we are stuck here until global warming cranks it up a notch or two.”

“It’s a big deal to be chosen for this festival?”

She dips her head but I see the flush embarrassment adds to the red already on her cheeks from the cold. “Yeah. It was an honor.”

“And the job with the philharmonic after graduation? Second chair? Traveling all over the world?” Her head whips up in surprise and I shrug. “Your twin is the weakest link. He cannot keep a secret—especially when he’s bragging about you.”

“See? When you put it that way, I can’t even be mad at him.”

I laugh at her pout, grabbing her hand when I spy a suspicious looking patch of snow covered ice. Her fingers slide into mine as if they are a piece in a puzzle. I’m not a hand holder, that’s girlfriend/boyfriend stuff and those have been few and far between in my dating life. I prefer to keep it casual, and lucky for me lots of college girls are okay with it.

But holding Leighton’s hand under this big sky; just the two of us and the snow?

I could do this forever.

I take a deep breath to slow down my heart. It’s racing because that’s what she does to me and I wonder what I was smoking to think I could keep my hands off her for a whole night. When I touch her, all my reasons get fuzzy on the edges and I don't know if I can explain them to anyone if they ask. And then she brings it all back into focus.

“Are you ready for graduation?”

I send up a silent apology to Landon because apparently the fucker can keep a secret. He hasn’t told her about what’s going on with me.

“I’m not graduating.” I swallow hard and let the whole truth spill out into the silent air. “I’m not coming back to school after spring break.”

That stops her in her tracks and when she pulls up short, she slides a little bit on the snow. I adjust my grip on her to hold both of her arms and pull her in closer. Not quite full-body touching but enough to the point where I can feel the warm exhale of her breath on my face and the chill when it cools down.

“What? Why? You’re at the top of the class.”

She’s right. I’m a good student. A double major in business and fine arts—a compromise with my dad to appease his need for an heir to the company and my passion. And the fact that I’m a few credits shy of a degree and not going to finish is probably going to give my dad a heart attack. I remember the arguments the last few months, the disappointment and fear in his eyes. He’s a good father and he loves me but if I stay even just a few more weeks, I’ll lose it.

Leighton is still waiting for an explanation and as I look down into her troubled gaze, all the reasons why I can’t have her come back into sharp focus. And the irony of that thought and what I have to tell her hits me in the gut like a cheap shot in a barroom brawl.

“Leighton,” I open my mouth and close it again, unable to process the words. I’ve faced this already, accepted it. But somehow when I tell her, it’s gonna be real. “I’m going blind.”

CHAPTER THREE

Leighton

My brain is frozen from the cold because I know I didn’t hear him correctly.

“What?” I shake my head, as I’m giving him pointers on what his answer needs to be. “No.”

“I’m sorry.” He moves his hands from my arms to my face, stopping my movement. I’m still shaking my head in the negative, unable to stop. “Red. I thought you knew. Landon can’t keep anything to himself. He tells you everything.”

“He didn’t,” I halt and inhale deeply, steadying myself. “What
exactly
was Landon supposed to tell me?”

He stares at me, the muscle in his jaw pulsing with his irritation.

“I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa just after Christmas. I got the final results on New Year’s Eve.”

Oh holy hell. The same day I’d shown up at his party, wallowing in my own heartbreak and toting a case of champagne. I’d been surprised when Jonas had reciprocated my interest, readily accepting my suggestion that we go to bed together. He’d been different that night. We’d both been unable to stay away from each other, to keep from touching each other.

I'd needed a touchstone. I’d needed Jonas to be my rock and apparently I’d been his as well.

“I don't understand. Can’t they do something? Surgery? People get 20/20 all the time now. They do it in an hour.”

I was babbling and he let me, his thumbs tracing a soft pattern as he soothed me.
He
was going blind and he was doing everything to make
me
feel better about it.

“Red. They can’t do anything. It’s hereditary. You’ve met my grandfather.”

I nod. Grandpa Sutton is blind and has been since his forties. He is debonair in that old-fashioned movie star kind of way, funny as hell, and had ably run the company for many years even after he’d lost his vision. I never thought of him with pity or worry because he is larger-than-life... but this is Jonas. My Jonas. And I wanted to scream at the bad hand he’d been dealt.

Jonas is a painter. A wonderfully gifted artist that brings everything he sees to life in bright swaths of color and bold brushstrokes. His art is an extension of him. Vibrant. In-your-face. Clever. Flirtatious. Enticing.

The thought of him losing that gift causes my stomach to clench painfully. My chest aches with the tears I hold back, knowing he doesn’t want to see them.

“How long?” He knows what I’m asking.

“It could be many years until I lose my sight entirely. Right now it gets fuzzy sometimes. Goes in and out. My peripheral vision is jacked up on occasion and I get headaches more frequently.”

I can’t stop the tear that runs down my cheek. It’s scalding hot on my skin and then freezes. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the rest of them back inside me.

Jonas groans and he wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to him. I loop my own around his waist and hold him tight, as if I can keep this burden away from him just by keeping him close.

“I’m not afraid, Red,” he whispers into my hair. “I’ve watched my Grandpa and I know this isn’t the end for me. My life will not be over. Just...different.” He brushes a kiss against my hair and sighs deeply, his voice pitching even lower. “I’ll have a spot at the company, the support of my family. I’ll be fine. I’ll still be me. It’s more than other people have.”

I hear him. I know he’s right but the unfairness of it all eats at me. Where is my shock? My numbness before the pain sets in? I am immediately in agony for him and struggling to keep my shit together. He’s being movie-of-the-week stoic and brave and I’m on the verge of blubbering.

“I’m sorry you found out this way. I was sure Landon...” He breaks off his thought, rubbing his cheek against my hair and holding me tighter. “I’m just sorry.”

He’s the one going blind and he’s apologizing for how I found out?

I pull back to look him in the eyes, to see if I can gauge what level of bullshit he is shoveling at me. His coffee bean-colored eyes are clear, sincere, as they stare back into mine. I wonder how long it would be before this simple act of looking at each other would be impossible. The day when I look at him and he won’t see me? It cuts me. Down to the quick.