Operation Cowboy Daddy (17 page)

“Shall we go inside so you can have a look around?” Amanda asked.

“Absolutely,” Tony agreed. He followed the old woman into a small foyer. He knew Amanda was a widow and probably depended on the rent of this house to supplement her finances.

Hardwood floors gleamed as they walked into a nice-sized living room with a staircase leading to the upstairs. The walls also appeared newly painted. “How long has it been empty?” he asked.

“About a month. The last tenants had no respect for property. They left me a real mess here, but as you can see it’s in tip-top shape now.”

The kitchen was adequate and the upstairs bedrooms were roomy. There was plenty of closet space and the bathrooms boasted new fixtures.

The house was nice. The backyard was big and the rent was reasonable. There was absolutely nothing to stop him from writing a check and claiming the place as his new home. Except it didn’t feel like home.

Home was a place where Halena wore mismatched clothes and sometimes a hat. It was where Mary wove baskets and action movies played on the television and the leaves on the trees whispered that love and happiness would last forever.

“So, what do you think?” Amanda asked.

Tony jammed his hands in his pockets. “I’ll give you a call later this evening and let you know what I’ve decided. I’ve still got a couple of other places to check out.”

That was a lie. He hadn’t seen anything else in the paper that would be viable except the apartment and Amanda’s place, and out of the two, this was really perfect. But he was reluctant to commit himself.

Minutes later as he headed back to the ranch he kicked himself for being a fool. He believed Mary was in love with him, but something held her back, but that might just be a fool’s thought.

He had no choice but to build a life without her. So, why hadn’t he written a deposit check to Amanda? Why hadn’t he taken the first step in securing a safe place for Joey?

By the time he reached the ranch he was in a foul mood. Instead of taking his mood to the big house, he decided to take a quick horseback ride. It had been too long since he’d taken Rascal out for some exercise.

Brody was in the stables when Tony walked in. “You taking Rascal out?”

“Yeah, I figured I could take a short ride before dinner,” Tony replied.

“Do you mind some company? I need to get Midnight out for a ride.”

Tony looked at Brody in surprise. “Wouldn’t mind the company at all.”

The two men got busy saddling up. Tony was surprised by Brody riding with him. Brody rarely actively sought the company of the others.

Brody was the man you wanted next to you in a fight, but he was also the man Tony knew the least about even after living with him for the past fifteen years.

They mounted and left the stable at a walking pace, heading for the pasture in the distance. “I heard you talked to Cassie this morning about quitting and moving into town,” Brody said.

Tony shook his head with a wry grin. “No secrets on this ranch.”

“Except maybe one.” Brody gazed to the right as they passed the burial pit where the skeletons had been found.

Tony’s stomach muscles tightened. “I think Dillon is barking up the wrong tree thinking any of us might be responsible for that.”

“I don’t know what I think about it. Now, let’s ride.” Brody nudged his horse with his heels and took off.

Tony followed, allowing Rascal full rein to run like the wind. The air smelled of wood smoke and cattle, of dying leaves and a hint of pumpkin.

September had turned to October. It was hard to believe that it had been a month ago that he’d appeared on Mary’s doorstep with Joey.

He shoved all thoughts out of his mind and just focused on the wind on his face, the familiar smells of the ranch that had always comforted him.

They raced across the pasture until they reached a stand of trees and a dry creek bed. Only then did they rein in and return to a slower pace.

“You’re going to miss us,” Brody said.

“I will,” Tony replied.

“What if Joey isn’t yours?”

“Then I’ll adopt him.” Funny, Tony had never really considered what he’d do if the DNA test came back and he discovered he wasn’t Joey’s biological father and yet his answer to Brody had come easily.

“Amy is dead, and if justice is served, Ash Moreland will spend the rest of his life behind bars,” he continued. The last thing he wanted was for Joey to go into foster care.

He sat up straighter in his saddle as a new thought blossomed in his head. Was the reason Mary refused to admit she loved him because she couldn’t have children? Did she just assume that eventually he’d want more kids and therefore she couldn’t be right for him?

“Brody, I’m heading back,” Tony said. He couldn’t wait to get to the big house and tell Mary that her inability to bear a child didn’t matter to him.

A new hope shimmered in his heart as he raced Rascal back to the stable. He unsaddled and stalled the horse in record time and then hurried to the back door.

Cassie greeted him. She and Halena were bustling in the kitchen and cooking dinner. Mary sat at the table with Joey in his bouncy chair.

“Don’t get in their way,” Mary said. “I offered to help and they practically banished me to my room.”

The lightness of her tone pleased him, as did the beautiful vision she presented clad in jeans and a pink T-shirt and with her hair loose around her shoulders. Her features were relaxed and a smile curved her lips.

“We’re attempting to create culinary magic in here,” Cassie said.

“Far be it for me to interfere with magic,” Tony replied. “Mary, would you mind talking to me outside for a minute?”

He hated the wariness that suddenly leaped into her eyes.

“Go on, I’ll keep an eye on Joey,” Halena said.

She got up and followed him out to the back porch. “Did you find a place to rent today?” she asked.

“I found a house that I’m considering. Mary, a few minutes ago I was taking a quick horse ride with Brody and he asked me what I was going to do if the DNA results showed that I wasn’t the father. I told him if that was the case, then I’d adopt Joey.”

“That would be wonderful, Tony.” She visibly relaxed once again.

“What would be even more wonderful is if you’d marry me and we can adopt more babies if we decide we want to give Joey brothers or sisters.”

For just a moment her eyes shone with sweet yearning, with a wistfulness that nearly took his breath away as his heart swelled full in his chest. But just as quickly as the emotions had come, they vanished and her gaze became dark and unfathomable.

“You have to stop,” she said and took a step back from him. “You have to stop this, Tony.” Her lower lip began to tremble. “We don’t have a future together. We’re not going to get married and adopt children. Find a nice woman who makes you happy.”

“I already have,” he replied. Again he was half-breathless, this time as his heart deflated and disappeared into a cold emptiness. “Mary, I won’t stop believing that you love me. I just wish you’d tell me what’s holding you back.”

She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. “I don’t owe you any explanation. I’m telling you that you have no future with me and that’s enough said.”

He stared at her, loving her even as he saw nothing but rejection in her eyes. He released a hollow sigh and jammed his hands into his pockets. “It doesn’t matter to me that you can’t have children. I’m sure there are Native American babies who need the good and loving home that you and I could provide. Maybe there’s a little boy like I was who doesn’t know where he fits in the world.”

A shaft of pain crossed her features. “I’m finished with this discussion.” She turned to go back into the house and even though Tony wanted to stop her...he let her go.

He pulled his hands from his pockets and set off across the lawn toward the cowboy dining room, where dinner would be served soon. He had no appetite. His stomach was filled with a huge stone of misery.

He’d been so sure that her inability to have a child was what had held her back. He’d also been certain that if he told her he didn’t care about it, then she’d fall into his arms.

As he trudged across the huge yard, he made a vow that first thing in the morning he would call Amanda and secure the house for his future. Tomorrow he would focus on his role as a single father and what needed to be done to assure Joey had a good home. He’d need to buy furniture and make sure all the utilities were turned on. He’d give Joey a nursery fit for a king. Starting tomorrow he was not going to think about Mary and what might have been.

In the meantime all he had to do was get through this long and lonely night.

Chapter 14

A
my’s body had been released to Tony. There had been nobody else to claim her and the last thing he had wanted was for her to remain any longer in the morgue.

Cassie had been gracious enough to allow her to be buried in the Holiday ranch cemetery. Tony had spoken to Reverend Wally Donaldson, who had agreed to officiate for a small funeral.

It had been two days since Tony had once again confessed his love for Mary and although they had been friendly with each other he’d also sensed that she was cautious around him. She’d made sure that in those two days they had never been alone in a room.

He now pulled on a black suit jacket, which Cass had insisted all the men have for funerals and weddings, and headed for the house.

As he walked, he glanced over to the cemetery where Amy’s casket was already in place. Today he would bury the mother of his child. It hadn’t seemed real until this moment.

He should have bought flowers. Somebody should have thought of flowers. The casket looked so bare, so lonely just sitting there next to the pit that had been dug to receive it.

It had all happened so fast. Dillon had told them that there was nobody to claim Amy’s body. She had no family and there hadn’t been any other friends. The arrangements had been fast so she could be laid to rest as quickly as possible.

He snapped his head forward and gave a sober smile to Clay, who stood just outside the back door of the house. “At least the sun is shining,” Clay offered.

“Yeah, it’s a beautiful day,” Tony agreed. Once again he looked toward the cemetery. “It somehow seems fitting that she’d wind up here. Cass was so good about taking in troubled souls.”

Clay’s blue eyes darkened. “I still miss her.”

“Yeah, me, too,” Tony admitted. He laughed suddenly. “All I have to say is that Amy better not misbehave in Heaven. Cass will twist her ears back, snap that bullwhip of hers and scare the daylights out of Amy.”

Clay chuckled. “You’ve got that right.”

Tony checked his wristwatch. They had set the time of the funeral for noon and afterward Cookie would have a meal for everyone in the cowboy dining room. It was now just a little after eleven thirty.

“Here come the rest of the men,” Clay said.

Tony turned around to see the rest of the cowboys heading up the hill. They looked like a band of brothers clad in their black suit jackets and blue jeans, and a lump rose in the back of Tony’s throat.

He hadn’t asked any of them to attend the funeral. He hadn’t expected any of them to come. But here they were, lending their support and prayers for a woman most of them hadn’t even personally known.

Each of them greeted Tony with a clap on the back and somber smiles. “I didn’t expect you all to be here,” he said around the lump in his throat.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Adam replied. “When one of us hurts, all of us hurt.”

They turned at the sound of gravel crunching under car tires. Reverend Donaldson’s red compact car pulled down the driveway and parked.

The old man got out of the car, his silver hair shining in the late-morning sunshine. He carried a small Bible and greeted Tony with a soft smile.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice, Reverend,” Tony said and shook his hand.

He looked around at all the other men. “It seems the only time I see most of you is either at weddings or at funerals,” he chided gently. “It would be nice to see you occasionally in church on Sunday mornings.”

The men coughed, scuffed their feet on the ground and mumbled excuses about Sundays and church and ranch work. Tony might have laughed if at that moment the back door hadn’t opened and the women came outside.

Tony drank in the sight of Mary holding a sleeping Joey. She was dressed in dark slacks, a white blouse and a lightweight black jacket. Joey was nestled against her chest in a warm sleeper and his blue blanket.

Cassie was also dressed appropriately for the somber occasion. Halena was dressed for a party in a bright red beaded skirt, an orange-and-red flowered blouse and red sparkly earrings dangling down to her shoulders.

“The rest of you can wear your mourning black and be sad, but as far as I’m concerned it’s a day of celebration. Amy is going home with the Lord,” she exclaimed.

“Amen,” Reverend Donaldson replied. “Are we expecting anyone else to come?”

Sadness swept through Tony at the fact that Amy would be mourned by two women from her childhood and a man who had briefly dated her and nobody else. “I think this is it,” Tony replied. “We can go ahead and get started.”

He walked over to Mary. “Want me to carry Joey?”

“No, I’ve got him,” she replied. Her gaze was soft and she offered him a sad smile. “Let’s just say our final goodbyes to Amy.”

Fifteen minutes later they all stood in a group just in front of the casket. It was rare that all of the cowboys were together and silence reigned, but everyone was quiet as they waited for Reverend Donaldson to speak. Tony had told the man as much as he could in an effort to give Amy a respectable eulogy.

“She was a child of God, but a troubled one,” the reverend began. “She brought laughter and she brought tears to those around her...”

As Reverend Donaldson continued to speak, Tony looked over to Mary and the child she held in her arms. Amy’s boy. His boy. Memories of Amy exploded in his head. He’d met her at the Watering Hole on one of the rare nights when he’d gone with the other men to the bar.

She’d been a bright and shiny diamond on the dance floor and he’d been surprised when she’d grabbed him off a stool to dance with her.

They’d dated for two months before she’d moved to Oklahoma City and then they’d continued to see each other for two more months after that. She always drove to Bitterroot for their time together. He’d never seen where she was living in the city.

Now he knew she must have been living with Ash. With Amy’s addiction and other issues she would have been drawn to a man like him. He would have been far more exciting than Tony.

When they’d split up, he hadn’t given her another thought. She’d simply become a part of his past, and he’d never looked back.

No, he hadn’t been in love with Amy, but he still grieved for her and for the sadness of her life and for the little boy she would never see grow to a man.

He focused back to the here and now and listened as Reverend Donaldson read several passages from the Bible. Tony glanced over to Mary, who had tears shining in her eyes as she looked at the casket. Halena had her eyes closed and her head bowed. They were both mourning the young girl they had known...the woman they had tried to save.

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...” Reverend Donaldson said.

Joey let out a loud mournful wail.

Tears blurred Tony’s vision. It was as if the little boy mourned the fact that he no longer had a mother.

* * *

The sober mood of the funeral lifted as everyone gathered in the cowboy dining room for the noon meal. Cookie provided cold cuts for sandwiches, potato salad and chips and several salad options. There were huge chocolate chip cookies for dessert.

Mary was glad that Amy was finally at peace, but she ached for Joey. Amy had brought him to Tony out of love. She’d obviously known the danger she was in. She’d made the ultimate sacrifice in giving up her son to save his life. She hoped one day Joey would know that about his mother.

“Let me hold him and you go get something to eat,” Tony said when they entered the dining room.

She relinquished the now happy baby to his father’s arms and then she and Halena got into the food line. “Are you okay?” Halena asked her.

“I’m fine,” she replied. “I’m glad this is over. We were so worried about her and now we don’t have to worry any longer.”

“Hopefully Ash Moreland will be arrested and then we definitely have no more worries,” Halena replied. “Hmm, ambrosia salad. I love that stuff.”

The two of them filled their plates and then went to the table where Tony sat with Joey. Cassie joined them along with Sawyer and Flint.

It wasn’t long before life filled the room and removed the pall of the funeral. Sawyer held Joey while Tony went to get his plate of food.

They all filled their bellies and then several of the men moved the tables to the sides of the room and Mac got out his guitar.

“We said our goodbyes to Amy and now we celebrate life,” Cassie said.

As if on cue, Mac started a rousing song that quickly had the men clapping their hands. “May I have this dance?” Clay asked Cassie.

The two of them began two-stepping across the floor. Everyone laughed as Jerod pulled up Flint and the two men hoofed it to the music.

Halena looked pointedly at Sawyer. He shot a frantic glance at Mary, who laughed as Halena grabbed him by the arm and yanked him onto the floor.

Tony grinned and patty-caked Joey’s hands together in rhythm to the music while Mary’s heart suddenly squeezed tight with a new impending grief. She was counting down the days to goodbye. The laughter and the fun and Tony holding Joey only made the coming goodbye that much more difficult.

At least you’ll have memories.
There would be many lonely nights ahead when all she would have were the memories of Joey’s sweet snuggles against her and the wonder of his goofy, drooling grins.

At least you’ll have memories.
In the quiet before sleep she would remember Tony’s scent, the way his smiles warmed her from head to toe. She would always have the memory of his body against hers and his kisses that torched a fire in her.

The memories would have to be enough. However, the picture of Tony laughing with Joey made her ache with the desire to belong to them.

“Mary, would you like to dance?” Adam asked.

“Sure.” She got up from the bench, hoping that she could lose herself in the music instead of dwelling on the thoughts in her head.

The afternoon wore on and Mary danced with all of the cowboys, as did Cassie and Halena. When Mac took a break, Mary collapsed onto the bench next to Tony.

“I don’t think I’ve ever danced this much in my entire life,” she said half-breathlessly.

“You’re a good partner. I saw that you easily maneuvered around Sawyer’s three feet,” he said in amusement.

She laughed. Sawyer might be handsome, but he definitely wasn’t particularly graceful on the dance floor. “At least he didn’t step on my toes.”

“That’s because you moved too fast.”

“It doesn’t look like Joey is going to move too fast too soon,” she said as she gazed at the sleeping boy.

Tony patted him on the back. “It’s a good thing he can sleep no matter what the noise level around him, but before the fun is over I’d like to have a dance with you.”

Her heart stutter-stepped in her chest. “That would be fun,” she said lightly. “Then I can say that I danced with every one of the Holiday cowboys.”

He got his opportunity when Mac began playing again and Tony transferred Joey to Halena’s lap. As he took Mary into his arms, she tried to still the frantic beat of her heart.

Even though the music was quick and lively, his hand was hot on her waist and his gaze was dark and hungry and the dance felt intimate and dangerous.

She was grateful when it ended and he released his hold on her. “I think I’m ready to call it a day,” she said when they returned to the table.

It was after three when Jerod and Tony walked with the women back to the house. Halena and Cassie flew into the house with plans to make an elaborate evening meal despite the lunch they’d had.

Jerod was on house duty and decided to walk the perimeter of the house while Tony and Mary lingered just outside the back door.

Mary held Joey and smiled at Tony. “Amy would have been pleased that we all danced and had a good time today,” she said.

He returned her smile. “Yeah, I think she would have liked the send-off,” he agreed. He looked over toward the cemetery in the distance. “At least with her here I can take Joey to visit her occasionally when he gets old enough.”

“You’ll tell him that she loved him?” She stroked his downy dark hair.

“Absolutely. I’ll tell him about her laughter and the sparkle in her eyes. I’ll tell him all the good things and none of the bad.”

Mary nodded. “Good.”

“Mary, I don’t care that you can’t have children.”

The words hung in the air.

“You already told me that,” she replied stiffly.

“I just thought it might be a good time to remind you.” There was a lightness in his voice, but the dark want in his eyes belied his tone.

“It’s been a long day, Tony,” she said wearily. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She turned and walked away from him, knowing that his gaze remained on her until she got inside the house and he could no longer see her.

Cassie and Halena were in the kitchen bustling around and Mary scooted through to the great room, where Joey’s bouncy chair awaited him.

She placed him in the chair and then sank down on the sofa. She’d never felt as weary and as fragile as she did at this moment. Today had been a reminder that tomorrow wasn’t promised. Anything could happen and suddenly your life would be over. If she died tomorrow, she’d take with her so many regrets, but they were regrets she couldn’t fix.

The last thing she wanted was to walk away from Tony with a vision of revulsion on his face. She much preferred to walk away strong and proud with the memory of his love for her shining from his eyes.

* * *

“We ride tonight.” The old garage smelled of gas and grease and stale cigarette smoke. The walls were spray-painted with obscene graffiti, but Ash didn’t mind the surroundings. Before him were four of his most trusted men. They were mean, amoral men who would do anything Ash told them to do.

“It shouldn’t be too hard to take out a couple of dumb cowboys,” Champ Waldron said as he squeezed an empty beer can and tossed it into a corner.

“I could use a little target practice.” Jake the Snake sat on his lowrider and pointed his sawed-off shotgun around the room.

“Put that damned thing away,” George snarled as he grabbed another beer from the cooler. “What time do you want this all to go down?”