Origin (Eternal Sacrifice Saga Book 2) (35 page)

Zoe

Phoebe and I spent the afternoon recording the demo at a Manhattan studio. It was surprisingly anti-climactic.

Sadly, the novelty of that life just wasn’t there for me anymore.

Sure, music would always be my second love.

But it would never replace my first.

Still, it was strange how something so important to me just a few short months ago had very little appeal now. I attributed it to reaching my true Origin.

I definitely didn’t feel like that broken little girl anymore.

Phoebe and I were in a cab, heading back to her house after recording. I stared out the window, watching the cars and streets breeze past us, trying to get my head together.

“You okay?” Phoebe nudged my shoulder. Her empathic gifts were not exactly an asset to me these days, with trying to keep everything to myself.

“Yeah. Just expected today to be more, I don’t know. Exciting. Just didn’t do anything for me.”

“Sorry,” Phoebe said. “You’re not the same person anymore. But in a good way. Hey, so any good news from your mission the other night? And thanks for letting Remie come visit. It was great to see him.”

“See him, huh?” I tilted my head, wiggling my eyebrows.

“Oh stop, we’re not sex fiends like you and Cade.”

“What?” I smirked.

“You heard me.” She teased. “Oh, and by the way?” She leaned in. “My walls are thin. Like tissue paper.”

I must have turned fifty shades of red. “Sorry, Phoebs.”

She shrugged. “Hey, you’re married now. But next time, keep it to a low roar when you call out Adam’s name, huh?” She giggled.

“I’ll do my best. So you and Remie. All good on that front?”

She turned her own shades of pink.

“I know you’re not the kiss and tell type, but if you need to talk about anything, please. Do.”

“We’re trying to get pregnant.”

My mouth dropped open. “What?”
Not good.
“But how?”

“Sex?” She grinned.

“Duh. I wasn’t sure you could get pregnant, I mean, Remie. He’s—not completely human.”

“I know nothing about it.” She put up her palms. “We’re just enjoying the trying part.”

“Have you talked to Raz and Sophie?” I narrowed my eyes.

“About?”

I shrugged, trying to keep a firm poker face.

Not working.

“Do we need permission?” She glared.

“That’s not what I meant.” I pursed my lips. “It’s just complicated, that’s all. And it’s not really a good time.”

“That’s really not your decision now, is it?” She turned her head and moved further away. Arms crossed, she stared out the window for the remainder of the ride back.

This put a whole new spin on the situation.

I definitely needed to talk to Gabrielle.

This plan of mine just got a lot more complicated.

When we got back to Phoebe’s house, the tension between us grew tenfold. Not five minutes after arriving, a portal opened, and Cade, Remie, and Raz blazed in.

Remie glared, then went straight to his room and slammed the door.

Cade gestured his head toward my bedroom. Taking my hand, he pulled me down the hall.

Raz followed behind us, and we all went inside and closed the door.

“What was that about?” I stared at Cade. “What did Remie tell you?”

“Phoebe’s upset,” Raz said. “You told her she couldn’t have a baby.”

“That’s not what I said. I asked her if she’d spoken to you and Sophie, said it was bad timing, that’s all.”

“We’re in support of this decision.” Raz crossed his arms over his chest.

“No way.” My mouth popped open. “How could you agree to that?”

“Free will, Chayah. She has the right to have a child if she wants to. And if Remie is physically able to give her one, then why not?” Raz eyed me. “Unless there’s some reason we should not allow it?”

“You know I can’t talk about it.” I gripped my hips.

“Then you won’t be opposed to Phoebe and Remie trying to have a baby.”

“I sanctioned their union, but a child is a step too far. With everything going on, why in the hell would she even want to have a baby? Especially now?”

“Phoebe’s wanted to be a mother all her life. She and Remie talked about it for a long time before they got married. When she learned of his Eternal status, they had all but given up on the idea, and chose to adopt or foster. Only recently did they discuss the possibility.”

“And what brainiac put that idea into her head?” I narrowed my eyes.

“Me.” Raz stated.

My eyes grew wide. “You? Why would you do that?”

“Phoebe’s my daughter-in-law. Remie is my son. I mean no disrespect, but this is
my
family business.”

I stood tall, straightening out my shoulders.

“My son wants to have a child. He’s mated to a human. I’ve asked the Council, and they have no issue with it.”

“I
am
the Council, Raziel.”

Cade set his hands on my shoulder trying to lighten my mood, but I shut him out.

“And what about Gabrielle and Michael? What have they said?”

Raz scrubbed his chin. “I’ve yet to tell them.”

“Uh huh. And you weren’t going to tell me either, were you? You were just going to let them try to have a baby, then watch as their entire lives fell apart.” I shook my head. “Not a smart move, Raz. I’m disappointed in you.”

“I don’t see how this is any of your business.” Raz stood his ground.

And so did I.

“Remliel is an Eternal.
My
Eternal.” I stepped closer, inches from his face. “Phoebe is a human.
My
human. I am Chayah,” I stood taller. “Eternal Mother. All humanity springs from me, Raziel.
Any
Eternal business—
is
my
business.”

“Unless you give me a good reason, I can't, in good faith, tell them no. This life has little reward, and I don't feel right telling Phoebe she cannot do this if she so chooses. You, Chayah, of all people, should agree.”

“In any other situation, I would. But what bothers me is you never even considered asking me. You’re not human, Raz. You're an Angel. Angels aren’t allowed to have children or even mate with humans in any other fashion. Having a Gemini, a human Gemini, and bearing children, the Firstborns, was a reward for you as Genesis. Isn't that enough?”

“For me. But those days are gone now. The Doctrine is void. There will be no more Firstborns. And what about them?” He pointed to the door. “What do they get?”

“When have I ever asked what I get out of this?”

He was quiet for a moment.

“Rebirth after rebirth, you and the Elders have children. You get to be parents. I don’t. What do I get, Raz? Oh yes. I get to die. And sacrifice. And the only time I complain is before I retain my memories. When was the last time I—” I pressed my palm to my chest. “Chayah, complained about anything? This life is all about sacrifice. For all of us. And if you aren't willing to do this, then you shouldn't be Genesis.”

“I understand, Chayah. But they never asked for this. Phoebe didn't sign up for this. Neither did our children. When you made the sacrifice you chose for all of us.” He lightened his expression and pushed out his palms. “Now, I'm not complaining, I’m simply stating a fact. My son wants a child. His wife, his
human
wife, wants a child. Who am I—who are
we
to deny them that? It's the Origin's decision. If it happens, it's meant to be, if not, it wasn't. I see no harm in them trying.”

I realized then I was fighting a losing battle. I’d just have to make my decision and stand firm, as difficult as that would be.

“I won’t allow them to tempt fate.” I blew out a breath. “I won't go as far as to say they can't have sex, but I don't want them purposely trying to get pregnant. It's not a good time. If after things blow over, they still want a child, then we leave it up to fate. But not now, Raziel. I'm sorry.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I won't get behind this.”

“You're serious.” He glared.

“I am.” I straightened my shoulders.

I wasn’t backing down on this. Not now. Not ever.

And it was one of the hardest decisions I’d ever had to make.

Raz sighed. “Very well, then.” He gestured to the door. “You can do the honors of breaking your best friend's heart.”

“Unlike you, I’m not afraid of sacrifice.” I blew out a breath, moving to the door, and headed to Phoebe’s room.

She and Remie were sitting on the couch. They must have been eavesdropping.

“Why?” Phoebe had tears running down her cheeks, but refused to look at me.

“It's too dangerous.”

She wiped away her tears. “So you can have a baby, but I can't?”

“I have no intention of having a child, Phoebe.” I pursed my lips.

“This prophecy thing.” She glared at me.

“What about it?” I tilted my head. “It means nothing. Predictions, like the weather.”

“I don't understand why you would do this to me.” Her voice shook as she held back more tears.

“I'm not doing this to you, I’m doing it for you. Trust me.”

“Trust you?” She scoffed. “After everything you’ve done the past eight months?”

“That wasn't me. I know you don’t get it, but it’s true.”

“Oh really.” She grit her teeth. “Well, who are you, then? Because I don't even know. When you figure it out, you let me know.” She got to her feet and headed to her bedroom door. She reached for the doorknob then stopped and turned to face me. “No.” She came back over. “This is monumentally unfair. Do you realize that?”

“I do. And I don't take any satisfaction in this. But it's for the best. You may not see it now, but—”

“Stop.” She shook her head and threw up her hands. “Whatever, I can't do this anymore.”

Remie stood and eyed her cautiously.

“Do what?” I tilted my head.

“Be part of this. I should have stayed away when I had the chance back in Chicago. When Raz healed me, I should’ve known I wasn’t cut out for this life. I had an out. But I married Remie anyway. The love of my life. And for the first time, something was finally going right. I stayed strong, and I stayed by your side. I've been loyal. I’ve done what I was told was best, and now that I want to be selfish. Now that I want one thing for myself, this is what I get.”

“I'm sorry, Phoebe.”

“You’re sorry.” She shook her head. “That’s not good enough.” She moved toward her bedroom, Remie in tow. “I’m sorry, too. Sorry I’ve stuck by you all these years, thinking I was doing the right thing and that some day I’d get a little something in return. I'm going to bed now.” She glanced up, looking me in the eye. “I'd prefer you weren't here when I woke up.”

I stared as she and Remie disappeared, and the door closed quietly behind them.

I hated this. This new role I’d taken on.

Everything about it was tearing me up inside, but I had no choice.

We all had sacrifices to make.

~

“Thank you for coming, Phoebe.”

After a week of sweet talking, she finally agreed to come with to my first and final performance at Madison Square Garden—the shortest tour in all of music history.

We sat in silence in a car Sam had sent for us, on our way to my show.

Oddly enough, my nerves had nothing to do with this performance.

I’d never been afraid of the stage.

“So.” I tried breaking the ice. “Any leads on your parents?”

“I already told you. My boss, she pulled my birth records. She said they appeared to be changed. When I was adopted, the original documents disappeared, and someone forged the ones I have now.”

“Anything new?”

“I was born in a private birthing center in Eden. The doctor who signed the certificate doesn’t seem to exist. And neither do my parents.”

My stomach was in knots. Before my memories returned, I was all for her finding her birthparents but now, it only made the plan more dangerous. I’d have to talk to someone to throw her off the trail. At least for now. I couldn’t have anything messing things up when we were so close to setting everything in motion.

“You’ve done a lot of work on this, huh?”

She nodded. “It’s important to me. I want to know my parents.”

“Aren’t you happy with your adoptive parents?”

I tried to redirect her, but one thing I’d learned with Phoebe is when she was determined to figure something out, very little would stand in her way. And while I respected that about her, it wasn’t going to work in my favor with this one.

“I am, that’s not why I’m doing this. I guess all the Empath stuff, being tossed into foster homes when I did, and with Eli. I mean, doesn’t it seem kind of suspicious? Like it wasn’t an accident?”

“Few things are accidental, Phoebe. Besides, I told you once, you were sent there for me.” I grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers gently.

“I think so, too, but still. I think something else is going on,” she whispered.

“Like what?”

“I’ve been having strange dreams. Ever since Madie died. It’s like she’s trying to tell me something.”

“Really?” My chest tightened.

Phoebe shouldn’t be having visits from dead people.

That wasn’t part of the plan.

I wondered if someone was interfering that shouldn’t be.

“She keeps repeating the same phrase when I see her.”

“What does she say?”

“You must fall before you rise.”

My heart was in my stomach.
Is this about Phoebe?
And why would Madie contact Phoebe and not tell me?

Yeah, I had to talk to Gabrielle.

“That’s what I hear in my visions, too.”

The best way to keep Phoebe out of this was to include her. Keep her distracted. I had to intervene.

“Really?” She perked up.

I nodded. “Yeah. So Micah being there, all the things falling apart around me. Part of me thinks he’s going to come around, and that’s why I haven’t pushed to get him back. Why I asked you to trust me. We don’t always like what’s going down, but it’s always for a reason, even if we don’t understand it.”

She was quiet for a minute. “So this baby thing. It’s not because you’re jealous?”

“Jealous?” I narrowed my eyes.

“That I can have a baby, and you can’t.”

I grabbed her hand and squeezed. “I wish you could have a baby. I’d love to be an aunt. I want you to be happy. I didn’t know you wanted a child so badly.”