Out of the Dark (15 page)

“I know that. You kept it from me to keep from hurting
you
.”

He doesn’t confirm or deny my statement but reaches over and shuts the light off instead, ending the conversation.

***

The next morning, I wake alone. Stefan has already risen. I slip on my robe—faded pink terry, old and tattered, with a silly pattern on it. It’s the most comfortable thing I own, and I love it.

I shuffle down the hall and grip the bathroom door handle, but when it moves of its own accord beneath my hand and opens, I startle and step back.

Enzo is standing on the opposite side of the door, a towel around his waist and a cloud of steam wafting around him. His ever present smile illuminates his freshly shaven face. “Good morning.”

“Oh! Good morning. I’m sorry. I should’ve knocked first.” I glue my eyes to his, afraid to look anywhere else.

“Oh, don’t mention it.” He starts to move around me but stops. “Are those
monkeys
?”

“What?”

“On your robe. Are those monkeys? Eating bananas?”

“Yes.”

He laughs. “They’re cute. Bathroom’s all yours,” he calls over his shoulder as he walks toward his bedroom.

I close the door behind me and wipe the fog off the mirror. I look like a huge nerd. I shake my head and start the shower. I shouldn’t care what I look like in front of Enzo, but for some reason, I do.

Feeling cleansed of my nerdiness, I head downstairs and find Stefan and Gemma seated in the living room.

“Here she is. Good morning, darling. My sister has our engagement party all planned. I hope that’s all right with you.” He winks.

“Stefan, it’s not
all
planned! Those were just ideas. Of course, I want Carina’s input, too.”

I sit down on the love seat next to my fiancé. “What plan?”

“Well, we haven’t done this in a long time, not since our father passed away, but we have a little family tradition that we’d like to share with you,” Gemma says.

“Oh. Well, of course I’d love to be a part of that.”

“Wait till you hear what’s involved before you commit to something.” Stefan’s tone makes me feel like a child.

I hear footsteps behind me.

“I don’t think Carina will be averse to a pig roast.” Enzo walks in, munching on a piece of buttered raisin toast, and plops down next to his aunt.

Gemma smiles at her nephew. “Well, there you have it. So what do you think?”

“It sounds great. I’ve never been to a pig roast, but I’d be honored to share in a family tradition.”

“You see?” Enzo stuffs the last bite into his mouth and stands. “She fits right in. I’m heading down to Cuore della Terra. See you guys later.” He lets out a sharp whistle, and his brown Lab falls in step behind him. The screen door slaps shut, and it feels as though the warmth has been sucked out of the house.

***

I phone my parents. My father puts up some resistance to Stefan paying for their airfare, but he eventually relents. With the flights booked and confirmed, we discuss the upcoming party and the excitement is palpable. Dad mentions that my mother hasn’t been feeling well and this is something she can look forward to. He’s vague when I ask him what the doctor said.

Hearing about her health puts me in an awful mood, and I want nothing more than to talk to Stefan.

I finally find him behind the closed door of the office. When I listen in, I can tell he’s on the phone with Rocco.

As usual
.

I don’t even bother knocking.

I had hoped he’d take a break from working nonstop now that we’re with his family, but he hasn’t. It’s as if no one exists when he’s working, and I’ve had enough.

Instead, I find myself knocking on Gemma’s door looking to kindle a friendship, but all she talks about is taking me to Manhattan to go shopping. Spending copious amounts of money seems to be a favorite pastime for her.

She tells me how she divorced her husband and got quite rich in the deal, which is in addition to what she refers to as “old family money.” She goes on about her shoes, and at her request, I look through her large walk-in closet. “You can borrow anything you like, honey, until we get your wardrobe going.” She smiles and looks me up and down, clearly not loving my T-shirt and jeans.

I catch a glimpse of my reflection, Gemma fondling the items in her closet behind me, and I realize how much I’ve become like her since I met Stefan. Concerned with expensive things, clothing, spending money . . . these all became priorities when I was in Italy. I drank the Savano Kool-Aid. Now that I’m back in the States, none of it seems important anymore, and I’m not sure that I like the person I became in Italy.

I miss my mother. Her health is what’s important
.

“I’m going to explore the vineyard a bit, Gemma. I’ll be back later.”

“All right, dear.” She shouts from the depths of her favorite place.

I take a deep breath of mountain air as soon as I get out of the house. The stifled feeling that had been smothering me eases, and the fresh air revives me. I set my sights on the vineyard and a warm flush of peace washes over me. The mountains on the horizon grow larger as I slip between the rows of grapevines. I almost break into a run.

I walk for quite some time, simply meandering and feeling the wind in my hair and the earth beneath my feet. My company is the sound of the birds and thoughts of my mother.

I pass some vineyard employees harvesting grapes. They pay me no mind, working with diligence.

The vineyard begins to slope downhill and I see a small, wooden ranch house surrounded by a dirt parking lot filled with cars. A beaten footpath before me leads right to the doorstep. I follow it and stumble upon Enzo’s bar, Cuore della Terra.

There’s music playing inside, and Enzo’s dog, Icarus, is lying beside the doorway, gnawing on a piece of rawhide.

I grab the large, old metal handle and pull open the heavy door.

The place is filled with people. Small tables, which seat three, are occupied by red-faced, happy customers drinking wine.

I look around and find Frank standing at the jukebox, flipping through selections, and nodding his head to the jazzy song that’s playing.

I glance toward the bar itself, and when I spot Enzo, I can’t help but smile. I find him compelling, but at the same time I want to avoid him. He’s so at ease in his own skin. There’s not a scrap of stress or worry within him. He’s so unlike Stefan. It’s refreshing.

He’s chatting with customers and a very pretty waitress. He laughs, and I watch as he picks up a half-filled bottle of wine and removes the cork with his teeth.

I giggle, thinking that Stefan would be horrified to see his wine handled this way.

“Carina!” Frank waves me over to him. “You found us. Want a drink?”

“All right.” I sit at the bar with Frank.

Enzo seems surprised but not unhappy to see me. “Is my uncle coming down?”

“No, he’s busy working.”

“Yes, yes. Always busy, he is.” Enzo leans over the bar toward me and folds his hands in front of him. He shares his brilliant smile with me. “What can I get for you? Wait. Let me guess.” He stands back and cups his chin, narrowing his eyes as though he’s deliberating.

I smile at his expression.

“Lorenzo’s very good at this,” the pretty waitress next to me says. “He can guess what kind of wine you like just by looking at you. It’s amazing.” She smiles but not at me, at Enzo. “I hear you’re engaged to Lorenzo’s uncle. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

She’s olive-skinned and very beautiful. Her black hair makes her mocha eyes shine.

“I’m Natalie, by the way. I work here, and I’m a family friend.” She picks up her tray and walks away to check on her customers.

“Riesling.” It’s not a question, but he looks at me with caution.

I start to shake my head no, but he’s right. “That’s exactly what I want.”

Frank claps, appearing little drunk, but thoroughly enjoying himself. “Well done! Well done!”

Enzo serves my glass just as an old song comes on the jukebox, and I tap my foot to the beat while I sip my wine, feeling relaxed.

Natalie comes rushing over next to me again and leans against the bar to shout to Enzo. “This is the perfect song! Come on, Lorenzo! Please?”

He looks around the room and bites his thumbnail. When he’s satisfied that no customers need drinks, he jumps over the bar to grab Natalie’s hand and twirl her toward the tiny dance floor by the jukebox.

I can’t stop my eyes from widening as he begins to dance with her to the beat of the music.

“Little bitty pretty one, come on and talk to me . . .”

Natalie laughs as he turns her about as though she’s light as a feather.

The crowd in the bar hoots and whistles as Enzo and Natalie’s moves become bigger and more daring.

I’m mesmerized watching them. I never would have guessed Enzo could dance like that.

They move together as if they’ve danced this way many times. Enzo displays incredible skill, and Natalie’s face exudes a carefree happiness that almost makes me envious.

I catch his eye and a devilish look comes over him.

He twists Natalie away from him, and she practically lands in Frank’s lap, breathless and laughing. Enzo beckons me with a wiggle of his finger and extends his hand. “Come on!”

I shake my head and wave him off. I can dance, but not like that, and not in front of a bar full of people.

“Just go. You’ll have fun,” Frank says.

Some desire drives me and I walk toward him. When I take Enzo’s hand, I don’t feel nervous.

He smiles and nods, and then we step from side to side as he leads me with ease.

My face is at his chest and I gaze up at him. He’s beautiful. I don’t want to admit that, but he is. His arms feel good around me, even though they shouldn’t. Before I know it, the room is spinning as he whirls me.

He doesn’t let me miss a step, holding me tight as we dance.

The sadness I felt earlier fades away as my body moves with Enzo’s. I’m certain my face looks just as Natalie’s had, and it’s Enzo making me feel this way.

When I glance at Natalie, I see the same envy I felt when I was watching her. She stares at me, and I grip Enzo tighter. To keep my balance, of course.

Chapter Ten

We’re no longer dancing, but I’m still ensnared in Enzo’s arms. He’s smiling at me, and I’m smiling back. I’m lost. I’m sure there’s someone I’m supposed to be, something I’m supposed to remember, but I’ve forgotten. Looking into his eyes, I don’t care to try.

My heart stops pounding, he lets me go, and my focus on reality returns in slow increments.

He lifts his arms from my back and puts one across my shoulder as he guides me back to the bar.

Customers return to laughing amongst themselves.

Enzo says something sweet like “Thanks for the dance” or “That was fun,” but I’m not sure of his exact words.

I nod as I climb onto the barstool and grip the stem of my glass. It’s like a paperweight tethering me down and keeping my head from floating off and spinning further away.

What have I done?

I’m reminded of the first time I smoked a cigarette when I was twelve. It may have been innocent, but it felt wrong.

It was just dancing
.

I take a big gulp of wine.

“Can I get you something else?” Enzo has resumed leaning over the bar, and I gaze up at his sweet face.

“No, I’m done. Thanks for the wine.” I hurry out the door and race past Icarus into the vineyard.

When I’m submerged in the privacy of the grapevines, I pause and draw in a staggered breath.

What just happened?

It was as if someone else had taken over my body—someone who felt desire for a man who was not hers.

What would Stefan think?

My head swims.

I find a lone, ancient oak tree with a swing hanging from one of its thickest branches and a circular, handmade wooden bench around the trunk.

I climb the hill and sit on the swing, rocking back and forth, listening to the branch creak under my weight and the rope rub against the bark. I close my eyes and let my feet leave the ground. The swaying feels like falling, like that moment before you wake from a dream. A chilly breeze picks up, and I plant my feet back on the ground. I’m so tired. I walk over to the bench and sit down. Then the world turns sideways as I lie down and close my eyes, just to rest them.

Just for a moment . . .

“Carina? Hey, Carina? Are you all right?”

Someone’s shaking my shoulder.

When I open my eyes, I see Enzo, but his ever-present smile isn’t there. He looks worried. The sun is setting, and I realize I’ve been asleep for a long time.

Icarus licks my face.

I sit up, a little bit dazed.

“Are you all right?” Enzo asks again as he sits down beside me.