Past Regrets: Love and Friendship, Book 2 (17 page)

“Julia.” Ryan’s soft voice drew her attention.

“Yes?” The instant she met his gaze her knees threatened to buckle. Although they continued to sleep together, she held part of herself back. Ryan would leave soon to go on tour, and she didn’t know if she’d manage to hold herself together, if she could allow herself to trust him. Yeah. It was stupid, letting her fears ride her, but she couldn’t seem to truly put her misgivings behind her. She swallowed, promising herself she’d try harder.

“Don’t be nervous. You’ve put so much work into the club.” He squeezed her shoulder, a gesture of additional support. “You won’t fail.”

“Am I that obvious?”

“No, you come across completely confident in your decisions. You forget I know you well.”

“We haven’t spent much time together.”

“Is that what’s bothering you?”

Julia glanced at him, indecision tossing her around in a maelstrom of worries and apprehension. “No matter how you talk around the situation, we still have the same problems.”

“This time you’ll have the support of your friends, and I’ll have Caleb. Not that you have to worry,” he added hastily. “What I mean is we’ll both have a better safety network.”

She drew in a quick breath. “Keep reassuring me so the past doesn’t come back to whack me over the head, okay?”

“Deal.”

“Okay, you have my permission to unleash your charm and flirt with the girls. I’ll do the same with the men. We’ll get Caleb to play and start with a dance or two.”

Caleb was waiting for them when they reached the front door. Outside, the night was starting to creep in, and the neon lights along K’ Road sparkled like an elderly lady in fancy dress. It was too early for the streetwalkers, but in a few more hours, they’d pop out of the woodwork.

“Music to tango to,” Julia said, already knowing Ryan could dance. They’d tangoed in Fiji under the moonlight. It was one of her favorite memories, and the hot sex in their bungalow afterward hadn’t hurt either.

Caleb grinned in their direction, his nimble fingers plucking out the sultry notes of a Latin number. Ryan drew her nearer and led her into the steps. Across the street a group of young women stopped to watch. Ryan, ever the charmer, flashed a smile in their direction and dipped Julia. The women hooted approval and crossed the street when the light halted traffic.

Julia and Ryan kept dancing, flowing into some showy moves. The crowd increased, and by the time Caleb came to the end of the song with a flourish, they stood in a circle three deep.

Julia sucked in air, her breathing rapid despite her fitness. Ryan curved his arm around her shoulders, his scent and heat surrounding her.

“Are you going clubbing tonight?” Ryan directed his question to the young women who’d stopped to watch them first.

“Girls’ night out,” a cute redhead said. Her eyelashes fluttered as she peeked up at him in a flirtatious manner.

“Why don’t you start your night here?” Ryan asked.

One of the redhead’s friends wrinkled her nose. “This place is a dive.”

Julia opened her mouth to refute the point, but Ryan squeezed her in warning.

“The place has received a revamp, and I personally know the new manager. They have a new lineup of dancers and routines. You should give them a try.”

The redhead made a scoffing sound. “You have to say that. You work there.”

“I’m helping out for a few weeks,” Ryan said. “I’m not on the payroll.”

“Do you have a girlfriend?” the redhead asked with another flutter of her stick-on lashes.

“He has a wife,” Julia said sweetly. Damn. She bit down on her lip.
Way to attract new customers
.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Caleb said.

“Do you think it’s worth trying out this club?” the redhead asked.

“Yes,” Caleb said.

Two couples from the group wandered off, and Julia wanted to run after them and drag them back. They stopped by
Maxwell’s
closest opposition, took in the length of the line and had a quick discussion before retracing their steps.

“Score one for the new club,” Julia murmured.

Most of the people who’d stopped to watch them dance ended up walking inside, ready to try the new place.

“Good job, guys,” Julia said to Ryan and Caleb.

“Should we sing?” Ryan whispered into her ear.

“A ballad,” she suggested. “Something I can do a simple routine to.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Caleb said, strumming his guitar.

Ryan and Caleb’s voices blended into a thing of beauty. Closing her eyes, Julia attempted to shrug off her earlier jealousy when the redhead had flirted with Ryan. When the emotion lingered, she gave it a harder shove, scooting it to the back of her mind. After another breath, she started to move to the beat of the music, lifting her hands and clicking her fingers while two of the members of
French Letters
sang of love and candy sweet kisses.

Julia had to force herself to open her eyes and watch for potential customers. As she’d hoped, their singing, dancing and patter attracted attention, and many of those who spied the line outside their opposition decided to give
Maxwell’s
a try instead of queuing.

By the time she’d hustled and danced outside for an hour, they’d enticed a good number of customers inside.

“Great job. That should do it for now,” she said, pleased with this way of attracting patrons. “That worked well. I need to think about hiring hosts and hostesses to entice people into the club.”

“You might need to think about additional security,” Ryan said.

“I know. I’d prefer not to, but Stan would need help if we had troublesome customers.”

Ryan brushed his fingers over her cheek and resettled a flyaway lock of air. “I’d feel better if I knew you had muscle on the premises to thwart any idiocy.”

He meant when he left to do the concert in Wellington, and the others their manager had booked for them in Australia. “I’ll think about security and discuss it with Mum. She might have some ideas.”

Lucky for her, Ryan took her diversion and ran with it. “Did she enjoy the dress rehearsal for the dancers? You didn’t say.”

Julia nodded, the quick sting of tears coming to her eyes. “She told me she was proud of what I’d achieved.”

“She likes having you around.”

“I know. She makes me feel guilty for leaving her to run the place alone all these years.”

Ryan brushed his knuckles over her cheeks. “No. If she knew you thought that way she’d be upset. She knew you needed to stretch your wings and do something else. Elise gave you the opportunity to follow your dreams.”

“Huh! Big dreams. I went to secretarial college.”

Ryan grinned. “Caleb and I didn’t stay at university for long. Pissed the parents right off. They’re a bit happier now, although they harp on about saving money for a rainy day.”

When they entered the club Susan was on stage going through one of her routines. Julia nodding approvingly at the way her friend threw herself into the role and became a sultry seductress with one click of her fingers and the cock of a hip. Behind her mask, her eyes smoldered with heat.

“She’s a natural,” Ryan said. “The guys can’t keep their eyes off her.”

“The women either. They want to be her,” Julia said with distinct satisfaction. And it was good for Susan too. She radiated confidence and her propensity for judging people harshly hadn’t made an appearance for ages. Her friend had bloomed.

“I’d better go and join Caleb.” He kissed her lightly on the lips and stepped away.

“You’d better wipe off the lipstick. Red isn’t your color.”

“It is if you’re wearing it,” he said, rubbing his hand across his lips. Grinning, he prowled away, attracting the attention of a group of young women. They waved at him, and he paused to speak to them.

She turned away, yet glanced over her shoulder. One of the women ran her hand down Ryan’s chest, fluttered her eyelashes at him. Ryan laughed, kissed her hand and walked away with a wave. The women stared after him, their gazes hungry and behavior flirtatious.

Julia blinked rapidly, her throat tight. She wove between the chairs and tables, a smile fixed to her face. Even though Ryan hadn’t done anything wrong, it was difficult watching women throw themselves at him.

Once Neil and Jeff arrived back in Auckland, Ryan’s days were full of rehearsals and most of his nights were spent at the club. He and the rest of the band did the odd set during quiet times to try out their new material and polish up some of the old stuff. They also did rock covers in the hope of throwing customers off the scent. Everyone knew
French Letters
never did covers while on stage, sticking to their own original material instead.

Day by day, night by night Ryan noticed the way Julia distanced herself. If he had a spare moment, Julia practically ran out of the room to undertake a task that required immediate action.

In the early hours of Thursday morning, he and Julia shared a cab back to her apartment.

“We need to talk,” he said when they entered.

“Can it wait until after I shower?” Julia avoided his gaze.

“I need to shower too. We’ll share.”

Julia glanced at him then, alarm smoothing away almost instantly. “I’m tired.”

“I don’t intend to jump you.” This came out sharper than he’d intended, and he grasped for his wavering control. His cell phone rang. “You go ahead while I take this call.” He glanced at the screen and grimaced. “Seymour, do you know what time it is?”

“Morning, where I am,” Seymour said in his crisp American accent. “Caleb said the material for the new album is coming along well.”

“Yes.” Caleb hadn’t told him their manager had contacted him.

“I’ve booked you three additional shows in Australia. Another in Melbourne and two in Sydney.”

“You could have checked with us first.” He didn’t want to leave Julia for months again.

“You’ve never worried about bookings before.” Seymour sounded surprised.

No time like the present to drop the truth into the conversation. “I’m married, Seymour. I have a wife to think about.” He stopped talking, waiting for an explosion.

“Fuck. Are you crazy?” Seymour’s voice rose with each successive word.

“I don’t believe so.” The shower shut off. “I can’t discuss this now. You can shout at me in Wellington. I presume you’re coming down for the concerts.”

“I am now,” Seymour said crisply. “Does anyone else know?”

“Caleb, Jeff and Neil know and a few of my wife’s friends.”

“Keep it that way.” The phone slammed down before Ryan could tell Seymour what he thought of his order.

Shaking his head, he went to take his shower. Julia was already in bed when he entered the bedroom. He crawled into bed with a sigh.

“Bad news?”

“Seymour has booked us three more shows in Australia.”

“Oh.” She paused. “I’m sure your fans will be excited.”

“You’re not and that concerns me more. I don’t want to leave you.”

Julia reached over and switched off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness. “It doesn’t matter.”

Irritation swept through Ryan, and he fumbled with the lamp on his side of the bed. He blinked at the flare of light. “I’m leaving to meet work commitments. I have every intention of coming back to you.”

He caught a trace of doubt in her expression, and his temper swirled higher.

“I don’t understand why you won’t believe me. I’ve never done anything to harm our marriage. I don’t drink, do drugs. I’ve never been unfaithful to you. I’m not your ex.”

She bit her lip, unwilling to look at him once again.

“If anyone has a reason to be pissed and full of doubts it’s me. I can’t remember, but I’m sure I would’ve bought you an engagement ring. You don’t wear it.” His pointed gaze focused on her left hand. “And a wedding band?”

“I haven’t noticed you wearing your wedding band,” she retorted.

Ryan frowned. “I have one?”

“You said you intended to wear it on a chain around your neck. I can’t see one either there or on your finger.”

“I had a ring?”

“A gold band I had engraved before you left on tour.”

“I didn’t find a ring with my stuff after I was discharged from hospital.”

Her brows rose, the touch of challenge increasing his indignation.

“Check with Caleb. He collected my gear for me. He’ll tell you there was no ring.”

Like a popped balloon, some of the attitude burst from her. “Do you think the muggers stole it?”

“Doesn’t that make sense? They took my phone and wallet and left me for dead. They must’ve taken my ring. My watch too,” he added. “Caleb said I used to wear one my parents gave me.”

Julia closed her eyes. “My ring is in my jewelry box over there on the dressing table. I wore it on a chain around my neck until I—” She broke off with an audible swallow.

“Until you what?”

“Never mind.” Moisture welled in her eyes, and she blinked rapidly to clear it. The stubborn jut of her chin told him she didn’t intend to enlighten him further, yet swift on the heels of determination came a flicker surprisingly similar to guilt.