Peggy Gifford_Moxy Maxwell 02 (5 page)

chapter 37

In Which We Learn That Uncle Jayne's Christmas Turkey Has Finally Thawed and He Has to Dash Home and Pop It in the Oven, but He'll Be Right Back

It turned out
Uncle Jayne's Christmas turkey had finally thawed and he had to dash home and pop it in the oven.

“But I'll be right back,” promised Uncle Jayne.

Even Moxy understood why he had to go. Clearly Aunt Margaret couldn't put the turkey in. Ages and ages ago (back when Moxy was nine), Aunt Margaret had put the turkey in for Thanksgiving dinner and accidentally set the oven on self-clean instead of 325 degrees. And despite the fact that she had let the turkey self-clean itself for almost eleven hours, it had never turned golden brown—it had turned more blue-gray.

In the end they'd eaten frozen lasagna with cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie (which Moxy's mother had brought over). Uncle Jayne said it was without a doubt the best Thanksgiving dinner he'd ever had.

“But, Uncle Jayne, where am I supposed to put the thank-you note I want copied?” asked Moxy.

Uncle Jayne's rented Santa Claus boots were very big—size 13½, even though his regular shoes are size 10½—and Ajax's study was very small and crowded (as I've mentioned), which is why it wasn't Uncle Jayne's fault when he kicked over a small—thirty-nine-inch-tall—pile of Ajax's Important Papers as he walked over to the copier.

“It was an accident waiting to happen,” Moxy said later to her mother.

Unfortunately, Moxy couldn't help Uncle Jayne pick up the Important Papers because she was having trouble getting out of Ajax's chair. She couldn't seem to get it back to a normal sitting position.

“As long as you're not hurt, it's perfectly all right,” Moxy reassured poor Uncle Jayne, who was apologizing and picking up Important Papers at the same time.

On the next page is a photograph Mark took of Uncle Jayne on Ajax's Important Papers. Mark called it “Big Feet.”

“Big Feet,” by Mark Maxwell.

chapter 38

In Which Moxy and Uncle Jayne Have the Same Exact Thought at the Same Exact Time

Uncle Jayne slid
over to the big copier. As he approached, he thought,
It looks like the cockpit of a jumbo jet.

It looks like the cockpit of a jumbo jet,
thought Moxy as Uncle Jayne approached the big copier, which reminded her that tomorrow at this time she would be landing in Hollywood. Unless, of course…

chapter 39

In Which Moxy Thinks the Unthinkable

…unless, of course,
she didn't get her thank-you notes done.

chapter 40

In Which Uncle Jayne Finds the Place on the Copier Where Moxy's Sample Thank-you Note Should Go So It Can Be Copied

Uncle Jayne carefully
arranged Moxy's sample thank-you note facedown on the copier so that Moxy—well, probably not Moxy—so that whoever Moxy told to make copies could make copies.

“Just punch in the number of copies you want and push Start,” said Uncle Jayne.

The only way Moxy could think of to get out of Ajax's chair was to stand on one of the arms and jump.

But Moxy wasn't in the mood to jump. Perhaps it was the position she'd been in—practically lying down. Perhaps it was exhaustion from all the thinking she'd been doing. But the only thing Moxy felt like doing was taking a nap.

Then she yawned—a great big delightful full-mouth sort of yawn.

“Sam? Pansy? Are you paying attention to what Uncle Jayne is telling you?” Moxy called out. “We have to be sure we understand what to do next.”

“Make sure you have enough paper,” said Uncle Jayne. He looked at the paper trays. There were five, and each one had a stack of different-colored paper on it. (Ajax was very fond of colored copy paper.) Uncle Jayne estimated that there were about 100 sheets of each color, which added up to about 500 pieces of paper altogether.

“You have enough paper,” declared Uncle Jayne.

But Moxy's eyes were already closed.

“Should we wake her up?” asked Pansy.

“Not a good idea,” replied Sam.

Waking Moxy when she was in the middle of a dream was a dangerous thing. That was because Moxy loved to dream almost as much as she loved to be awake.

Just then she was dreaming she was Eleanor Roosevelt, and—as Moxy would be the first to tell you—that's exactly the sort of dream that only happens once—twice at most—in a lifetime.

“Press this big red button,” Uncle Jayne said to those of us who were still awake, “and huggaly-puggaly-smuggaly-smote, you'll have copies of Moxy's thank-you note!”

Then he pulled the Susan B. Anthony silver dollar he had put back in Moxy's left ear out of Pansy's right ear and gave it to her.

“I'll be right back,” he said, and walked out the door.

chapter 41

In Which Pansy Pushes the Big Red Start Button Before Sam Is Ready

Sam punched “12”
into the copier. But the number didn't show up in the little box. So he pressed “12” again. Nothing. Once more, he pressed “12,” and just as he did, he noticed he'd been looking for the “12” in the wrong little box. The right little box said “121,212.”

chapter 42

The Really Big Mess Begins

At that exact
moment, Pansy pushed the big red Start button. Sam hadn't yet figured out how to change the number of copies from 121,212 back to 12. If he had, this story wouldn't be quite as good—though it would still be quite good.

Suddenly, the copier started firing copies into the air. It sounded sort of like a machine gun.

It was just plain good luck that at that very moment Moxy's dream was turning from a good dream into a bad dream. She was still dreaming she was Eleanor Roosevelt, but her husband, who was the President of the United States, had just told her she had to write thank-you notes to every citizen in America for their help in the War Effort.

She was quite relieved, then, when a copy of one of her thank-you notes drifted onto her face and woke her.

Moxy took the note off her face and read it over. “Oh, good job!” she said.

By now the air was thick with flying thank-you notes. They covered the floor like big, flat snowflakes.

Here is a photograph Mark took of the thank-you notes as they shot out of the copier.

“That's all right,” Moxy called back. “I can always use extras for birthdays and half birthdays, that sort of thing.”

Moxy lay back on Ajax's La-Z-Boy. Somewhere between being Eleanor Roosevelt and being Moxy Maxwell, an important thought had occurred to her. But she couldn't remember what it was.

Then Granny George came over and covered Moxy's face with an afghan.

“How's your cold?” asked Granny George.

“It's an absolute misery,” replied Moxy. Even though Moxy didn't have a cold, sometimes it was easier to go along with what Granny George thought was going on.

chapter 43

Moxy Suddenly Remembers What She Almost Forgot

“You guys, there's
no ‘Thank You' written on the outside of these thank-you notes!” cried Moxy.

You really couldn't hear her, though. Here's why:

1. There was the vibration of the copier.

2. There was the sound of each thank-you note being launched into the room at the rate of one every 11 seconds (as Mark calculated it).

3. There was the fact that Moxy's mouth was covered with an afghan.

“Would you like soup or would you like to starve?” asked Granny George. Granny George was always forgetting whether you were supposed to feed a cold and starve a fever or the other way around.

chapter 44

In Which Moxy Takes Action

Slowly, very slowly,
Moxy climbed onto the arm of Ajax's chair. She held the afghan over her head to protect her face from flying thank-you notes and then she jumped.

Here is a picture Mark took of Moxy jumping off the arm of Ajax's chair with the afghan covering her face. He called it “She Walks! She Talks! She Even Flies! No, She Doesn't.”

“She Walks! She Talks! She Even Flies! No, She Doesn't,” by Mark Maxwell.

Moxy landed on a nineteen-inch pile of Important Papers and slid around for a while. (“I might have been seriously injured,” she said to her mother some days later.)

Then she followed Granny George into the kitchen.

chapter 45

In Which Moxy First Says the Words “Gold Spray Paint”

“Chicken noodle? Chicken
and rice? Chicken and stars? Stars and stripes?” Granny George was getting out the saucepan.

“Do you know what would make me feel better?” said Moxy. “That can of gold spray paint.” She pointed to Granny's crafts corner.

“For your cold?” said Granny George.

“For my new thank-you notes.”

Granny George looked confused.

“I need to spray-paint ‘Thank You' on the front of each one.”

Granny George continued to look confused.

“Wait here,” said Moxy. She ran upstairs, her afghan trailing after.

chapter 46

In Which Pansy Wanders into the Kitchen and Asks Granny George Where Moxy Is

Pansy wandered into
the kitchen.

“Where's Moxy?” she said.

“Split-pea?” said Granny George.

“No, Moxy,” repeated Pansy.

“Here I am.” Moxy twirled into the kitchen, the afghan wrapped around her shoulders like a mink stole, and gave Granny George one of the thank-you notes from the box of thank-you notes her mother had given her.

“See what I mean?” said Moxy. “There's this big gold ‘Thank You' written on the front. Now look at the thank-you notes I'm making.” Moxy picked up one of the notes that had recently flown out of Ajax's office and landed on the kitchen floor. “There's no gold writing on these.”

chapter 47

In Which Moxy Says the Words “Gold Spray Paint” Again

“Which is why,”
continued Moxy, “I need the gold spray paint. So I can spray-paint ‘Thank You' on the front of each one. Otherwise they won't look like the ones Mom bought for me.”

Pansy was confused, but Granny George understood. “Here's the gold spray paint,” she said.

Pansy couldn't hide her surprise. “But you're not allowed.”

“Granny George just said I could.” Moxy smiled and began to shake the can.

Moxy loved the sound of the ball rattling inside. It felt like she was getting something done before she'd even started. She also loved the smell. But she wasn't supposed to smell it. In fact, Pansy was right: Moxy wasn't allowed to touch another can of spray paint until she was twenty-one.