Play Maker (18 page)

E
verything was perfect
. My press conference announcing my retirement and partnership with For Foster Kids was scheduled for next week and I had just put a down payment on a Mikey-approved house in Venice.

I had to convince Nicole to move in with me, something I had been hinting at since I started looking at houses. Either she hadn’t picked up on it or she was being purposefully innocent. It was a big step, there was no doubt about it, but I was getting used to waking up next to her in the morning. And I didn’t want to lose that because she lived on the other side of the 405.

“It’s just more convenient,” I told Ethan as we were grabbing lunch at a local diner.

He nodded, focused on his burger. I hadn’t asked how things were going with him and Maya, but he had seemed less focused on work lately. And the few times I had seen Maya when she visited Nicole and Mikey, she seemed pretty happy, so I took that to be a good sign.

“Besides, her apartment is way too small for her and Mikey and her mom,” I added, dipping a chip in ketchup. I would never get over Americans’ weird names for things. Football was soccer, a chip was a French fry – even though it was
not
from France – and apparently they used the term ‘bang’ to describe a hairstyle. That was definitely not the case in London.

Ethan’s eyebrows went up. “You want her brother and her mom to move in with you as well?”

I paused, having not really thought about the reality of all that. It had just been an assumption on my part that Nicole wouldn’t go anywhere without her family. And the house was certainly big enough, with four bedrooms plus a two bedroom cottage out back that was bigger than their apartment. Not to mention an enormous covered garage that the realtor said was primed to be turned into an office or workspace.

“Yeah,” I finally said.

Ethan let out a whistle. “You must really love this bird.”

Love. Bloody hell.

I choked on my chip and Ethan had to pound his fist between my shoulder blades. After I stopped coughing, he took one look at my face and laughed.

“You sorry bastard.” He took a bite of his burger. “You’re in love with her and you didn’t even know it.”

“Don’t be a smug arsehole.” I pointed a finger at him, annoyed that he had seen it before I had. I wasn’t usually this thick. Sure, I knew I liked her. I knew that I liked her a whole damn bunch. But love? That was something completely new. And it blindsided me. In a good way.

“You’re the one who was talking about moving her entire family into your house before telling her that you loved her,” he reminded me.

Right.

“What should I do?” I was suddenly overwhelmed with the knowledge of what I felt. What I had been feeling for weeks. Practically since I set eyes on her. Shite. I had fallen and I had fallen hard. But it felt right.

“You tell her you love her, you moron.” Ethan stole some chips from my plate. “Maybe even with a ring. A big one. Women love big gestures.”

“Marriage?” My heart gave a jolt in my chest. It was way too soon for that, right? Yet, it didn’t sound so terrible. Coming home every night to Nicole? Waking up next to her every morning? Yeah, I could definitely get used to that.

Ethan rolled his eyes. “You are hopeless.”

I was about to sock him in the shoulder when a familiar face appeared on the TV screen above the diner counter. My face. Next to a blurry shot of two people engaged in some extremely R-rated kissing. The guy was wearing a jersey with my number on the back and had his brown hair cut in the same way that I did, though I knew that mine wasn’t thinning as much. Not that you could really tell from the grainy quality of the photo. The paparazzi must have been pretty far away. The TMZ channel logo was in the corner of the screen.

“What the fuck is that?” I blurted out, causing half the diner to turn and stare at me.

Ethan looked up towards the TV and then gestured for one of the waitress to turn up the volume.

“James Martin, famed British soccer star—”

“Football,” Ethan and I both muttered in unison.

“—was caught in a compromising position last night outside a Los Angeles night club. Martin was in town for an exhibition a few weeks ago and it looks like he’s brought his Play Maker reputation along for his stay in the states.”

“That is not me,” I told Ethan, who had already pulled out his phone.

He nodded. “Of course not.”

I stared up at the screen with a sinking sensation in my chest. I had managed to keep myself – and Nicole – out of the tabloids during my visit. Especially after the shots of Mikey and I had been circulated, I enlisted Ethan to do everything he could to keep our faces out of the papers and away from gossip columnists in both the magazines and TV. And he had done a good job.

What I hadn’t done was tell Rick – who was one of the players taking an extended vacation – that he needed to stop pretending to be me when he went out on the town. Clearly he had been having a good time while he was here. I needed to call him immediately. I grabbed my phone, and punched in my password. Immediately a photo of Nicole, Mikey and I, one that he had set as my background, smiled up at me.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I put my face in my hands, knowing that Nicole’s mom was an avid reader and watcher of this kind of media. This was not good. I threw down several bills and gestured to Ethan. We needed to get out of there and I needed to get to Nicole. Right now.

I
knew
something was wrong the moment I saw my mom’s expression. She met me at the door, her face ashen, Mikey’s laptop pressed to her chest.

“What’s wrong?” I dropped the groceries I was carrying, not caring that they spilled out onto the entryway. “Where’s Mikey?”

“In his room,” my mom said quickly. “He’s fine.”

I placed a hand over my racing heart. “Thank god.” I bent and began wrangling the rolling apples and other wayward groceries back into the bag. As long as Mikey was ok, it couldn’t be that bad.

“Sit down.” My mom put a gentle hand on my shoulder. “I’ll take care of those.”

I was confused, but I did what she said.

“What’s going on?” I asked as she set up the laptop in front of me.

Several tabs were open, all to my mom’s favorite gossip sites. The one she had left on, however, had a video. I pressed play.

A photo of James appeared on the screen, next to a blurry picture of two people making out. Like hardcore making out.

“James Martin, famed British soccer star—” a reporter for TMZ was saying.

“Football,” I muttered.

“—was caught in a compromising position last night outside a Los Angeles night club. Martin was in town for an exhibition a few weeks ago and it looks like he’s brought his Play Maker reputation along for his stay in the states. Looks like old habits die hard.”

My blood ran cold. I pushed the laptop away, feeling sick to my stomach. No. This wasn’t happening. The paparazzi had left James alone. There had been no stories about him for weeks. Since we started dating. And yet…had this been going on the entire time? Had he been hiding other women and finally got caught?

“I’m so sorry, honey.” My mom came and sat in the chair next to me.

“It’s fine,” I said numbly, getting up from the table. Everything around me seemed to fade away and all I could see was that blurry photo of James making out with some other woman. I should have known better. I had wanted a playboy, hadn’t I? Well, I got exactly what I asked for. I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. I felt like a fool. I had believed him. I had believed him when he said he was crazy about me. Now it looked like I was the crazy one. For believing that a guy like him could commit to a girl like me.

“I’m going to go lie down,” I managed to say.

My mother said nothing, looking up at me with concern.

“Can you put the groceries away?” I asked, thinking that there was ice cream and it would melt if I left it out on the table.

“Of course.” My mom reached for my hand but I didn’t want her pity. And I really didn’t want her to say ‘I told you so.’ Then, a sharp pain went through me and I looked over towards Mikey’s room, towards his closed door.

“Does he know?” I asked, hearing the pain in my own voice. Poor Mikey, this would be so hard on him. Rage rushed through me. I never should have let Mikey meet James. He was going to be heartbroken to learn he could never see his friend again. Why had I trusted James? That was my first mistake. I should have known he would let me down eventually. Just like they always did.

My mom nodded, her lips pressed tightly together.

Everything inside me seemed to short-circuit and then I was crying. I never cried and now it was like I couldn’t stop, the tears heaving out of me like the world’s worst waterfall. I sank to the floor, sobbing.

It was my own fault. My own stupid fault for falling for him. For allowing myself to think he was different than other guys, for allowing myself to believe we had a future. I had gotten lost in the fantasy and now I was paying for it.

Somehow, in the haze of all my pain and sadness, I realized my mother had knelt beside me on the floor and was gathering me against her. She stroked my hair, like she had done when I was very little, and rocked me back and forth.

“It’s going to be ok,” she told me, her voice gentle. “I’m here. Everything’s going to be ok.”

I held on tight, crying into her arms and wishing that she had that power.

I
slammed
my hand down on the steering wheel, cursing the universe and especially cursing the traffic I had been stuck in for the last hour. Grabbing my phone, I redialed Nicole’s number again. Right to voicemail.

Goddammit.

There was no doubt in my mind that she had seen the photos. I could only imagine what she was thinking. Well, no, I could imagine exactly what she was thinking. That I was a complete and utter wanker. A wanker who had lied to her. A wanker who was seeing other women on the side and was stupid enough to get caught making out with one of them in public. A stupid, untrustworthy wanker. I couldn’t blame her for ignoring my calls, but I hoped she’d at least let me explain things to her in person.

But when I finally got to her apartment, parked the car, raced up the stairs to the apartment and pounded on the door, the person who came to greet me was Mikey. And he was not happy to see me.

His face was stormy and he stared at me, eyes narrowed, through the locked screen door. “Go away,” he ordered, arms crossed.

“I just want to talk to her,” I begged. “I just want to explain.”

“You’re a liar,” Mikey told me, his teeth clenched. I could see color rising in his cheeks. “I don’t like liars. They aren’t nice. You aren’t nice.”

I felt ill. As if it wasn’t bad enough that I had hurt Nicole, I had hurt Mikey as well. Even though it hadn’t been me in the pictures, I had let this whole thing with Rick go on for far too long. I had let my ego take the lead and now I was paying for it. I might have thought I had changed, that I had matured, but I had skipped a few important steps along the way. It was my fault. I should have known better. I should have done better.

“Please, Mikey.” I wouldn’t give up. “Just let me see her.”

“I hate you,” Mikey hissed at me and slammed the door in my face.

I felt gutted. I knew I should leave, but I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to. I thought about knocking again, demanding to see Nicole, but I knew that there was no way that would work. They would call the cops before letting me in. And I had already done enough damage to their little family.

Fuck. I sat down on the top step, raking a hand through my hair. I had royally cocked this up. How could I fix it?
Could
I fix it?

I straightened. Of course I could fix it. I wasn’t going to give up this easily. But this was a big problem. A problem that was bigger than me. I was going to need help. And I was going to need to clear the air. About everything. Not just to Nicole, but to the world.

Pulling my keys from my pocket, I hurried back to my car. Before I could even begin, I needed to go to the source of this particular problem. And I needed to do that now.

I
found
Rick at the hotel bar. Maya was there too, but she shot daggers in my direction and refused to serve me. Obviously she had heard the news.

“We need to talk.” I pulled up a barstool next to my teammate.

He had clearly been sitting here for a while drinking. His eyes were bloodshot, and widened when he saw me. I should have felt bad for him, but there was no room among the anger currently coursing through me. If only Rick had kept it in his pants and away from the paparazzi.

“Mate!” He tried to give me a high five, but I wasn’t in the mood to reciprocate so his hand just hung there in the air for a few moments before he lowered it. He tried to play coy. “I don’t know why they keep mistaking me for you,” he said, taking a drink of his whiskey, now avoiding eye contact entirely.

I clenched my jaw. “They keep mistaking you for me because you wear my number when you go out to pick up women,” I reminded him, my voice tight with frustration. “That needs to stop.”

He held up his hands. “Alright, alright. I’ll find someone else who doesn’t mind having their reputation improved upon.”

“No,” I told him, slamming my hand down on the bar. He jumped. So did Maya at the other end of the bar. “No more pretending to be someone else. Just own up to your behavior.”

“I can’t,” he said in a quiet voice.

Shite. “Why. Not.” The words were slow and even. “Because of your kids?” But I knew immediately that wasn’t the case.

He paused and seemed to struggle to find the words. Finally, he spat it out. “Because I have a girlfriend.”

“What the fuck, Rick?” I exploded at him. It had been one thing to keep his womanizing a secret from his young kids. This was something else entirely. I was filled with disgust. This was so much worse than I had imagined. It didn’t just affect me and Nicole. It affected Rick’s children and his poor, naïve girlfriend. And I had helped him deceive them. I felt nothing but disdain for the older man.

“You were using me to cheat on your girlfriend?” I grabbed the collar of his shirt, yanking him towards me. “You bastard!”

He shrank away from my anger and I was so disgusted that I released him. He fell back onto his barstool looking every inch the cheating arsehole that I now knew him to be. But I should have seen it. I should have known.

“I’m not taking responsibility for your actions anymore,” I told him, trying to stay calm. I felt a tiny swell of pity for the guy. He looked so completely pathetic. But now wasn’t the time to deal with Rick or his ego or whatever had driven him to make the world’s stupidest life decisions. “You need to make a statement, a public one, saying that it was you in that picture.”

Rick went white. “But—”

I held up a hand, not interested in his excuses. “No. You’ll do it. Or I will.”

“She’ll dump me,” Rick whimpered.

“You should have thought about that before you cheated on her,” I told him bluntly. “Multiple times.”

“Why do you care all of a sudden?” Rick puffed up his chest, apparently filled with a belated sense of indignity. Any sympathy I had for him disappeared immediately. Why had I ever admired this guy?

I glanced over towards the other end of the bar where Maya was trying to appear like she wasn’t listening to our every word. Good. I wanted her to hear this.

“Because I fell in love and I’m not going to lose her over something like this.” I glared down at him. And then I had an idea. If Nicole wasn’t going to answer my calls, if she wasn’t going to speak to me, I would have to explain this all to her in some other way. I already had an announcement scheduled, why not make the most of it. “So we’re going to have a press conference and you’re going to make a statement. Though, I recommend you call your girlfriend and tell her first. This isn’t something she’s going to want to hear about from the tabloids. Trust me.”

I left Rick on his barstool, staring at his drink and crossed the bar to where Maya was standing, completely still.

“Make sure she watches the press conference, ok?”

Maya just stared at me. I wasn’t going to give up. Nicole was worth fighting for.

“Day after tomorrow. 3:00pm. Please, Maya?”

“That really wasn’t you?” she finally asked, referring to the tabloid photo.

I shook my head. “It wasn’t me. I swear.”

She gave me a slow once over and eventually nodded. “I’ll tell her.”

I felt a wave of relief. I still had to figure out what to say, but at least I knew she’d be watching. “Thank you,” I said and turned to leave.

“James?”

I glanced back at Maya. Her face was inscrutable.

“Did you mean it? When you said you fell in love?”

“I did,” I said honestly.

“Does she know?”

Shaking my head, I thought about what Ethan had said. About big gestures and rings. I had some shopping to do. “No,” I told Maya. “But she will.”