Playing With Fire (15 page)

I thought she hated the beach. Was that just an excuse not to go? “I tried to before, but you said you hated it.”

“I don’t hate it. I just said that.”

“Why would you lie?”

“Because the only time I have ever gone to the beach was with Chris. He got mad at me for wearing a bikini and looking like a whore. He took me home and beat me for the first time that day. I would like to go there with you, though.”

Fuck! I hated that motherfucker with every inch of me. I want to change that memory for her. “I’ll take you tomorrow, babe.”

“Okay. I love you, Cutie.”

“I love you, too, Maddy.”

Madison

The next week went by really fast. Carter had taken me to Myrtle Beach that day
,
just like he said he would. He got us a hotel room that night, because he said that he couldn’t wait to get me in a bed that wasn’t in his dad’s house.

We went to the beach, but it was chilly so Carter didn’t get me in a bikini like he wanted to. We also went mini-golfing, had dinner, and did some shopping. It was a really great day and to thank Carter, I wore a bikini in the hotel room for him.

After that, we went back home and got into our normal routine. Carter loved giving me “firsts” on a daily basis; whether it was a movie, food, or anything else he could think of.

Today was New Years Eve and I had to work at the coffee shop in the afternoon. Carter was already at the club helping with prep for tonight. I wished we could have been together, but it was one of their busiest nights and there was no way he could get off.

Jason was hanging out at the coffee shop with me while I worked. I really liked Jason. He put up this façade of being an asshole, but he wasn’t. The fact that he was willing to sit here with me was definitely an example of that. “Here is some more coffee for you, J. I really don’t understand how you can drink it black, though.” I scrunched up my face and he laughed at me.

“Thanks, Mads. How are you?” I knew Jason was worried about how I would handle seeing Chris again. School was starting in a week and I had a class with him this semester. Luckily, Carter was in that same class with me, but I was still anxious about it.

It was an amazing feeling that Jason and Shawn had accepted me into their group. Shawn had renamed us the Fantastic Four and everyone, begrudgingly, accepted it. He was on vacation with his family until next week so I hadn’t seen him in a while. Most times when Carter couldn’t be with me, Jason was here. I heard him before Christmas telling Carter he thought he could protect me better than Shawn.

“I’m doing okay. Not looking forward to it but I’ll deal. I have to get back behind the counter, though. Enjoy!”

I was cleaning up behind the counter when I heard the bell “ding“, letting me know someone had come in. I looked up and my world came to a stop. He looked so different, almost normal.

“Madison?”

No. This couldn’t be happening. “Why are you here?” I barely got that sentence out. I was having a hard time breathing at this point.

“Your boyfriend found me. He said you missed me and really wanted to see me.”

Carter called him? Why would he do that? The walls felt like they were closing in. I felt Jason run up beside me.

“Mads, are you okay?” I couldn’t answer him. I could feel myself slipping away at this point. “Who are you? What did you do to her?”

“I’m um…I’m her father.”

“Shit! Why are you here?” I could feel Jason’s arm around me.

“Her boyfriend called me and said she wanted to see me.”

No, Carter wouldn’t do that without talking to me first. Would he?

I could feel the memories flooding back as much as I wanted to stop them. I felt myself sink down to the floor.

“Daddy, I don’t want to leave!” The school called this lady and now she wanted to take me away. “Tell them you want me, Daddy! I love you!” I lost mommy already; I don’t want to lose my daddy, too.

“That’s just it, Madison. I don’t want you. Why would I want a child who killed her own mother?”

Daddy always said that, but I didn’t kill mommy. I loved my mommy; I still do. I wish she were here instead of daddy.

“I told her to take you when she called me. You can be someone
else's problem now. I can’t even stand the sight of you.”

I don’t want to go away. I’m scared of going to a stranger’s house.

“You are not a good girl, Madison. No one will ever want to love you.”

“But, daddy, I love you.” He turned his back on me, and someone came down the stairs with a bag full of my stuff.

I don’t want to leave.

I don’t want to be alone.

I just want to be loved.

Everything seemed so blurry, and it was like I was watching what was happening instead of living it. I felt Jason put me in his arms and take me to the car. I could hear him talking to someone, but everything sounded so muffled.

Carter

I hated that I was working tonight. I wanted to spend it with Maddy.

“Hey, Carter!” John was calling my name from across the club. I looked up at him as if to ask him what he wanted. “Someone is on the phone for you. Says it’s an emergency.”

An emergency? As I was walking over, I pulled out my phone. I had five missed calls from Jason. I started running to the phone, imagining the worst. “Jason, what’s going on?”

“Carter, what the fuck were you thinking man? You called her dad?” He was yelling at me, and I’m pretty sure I heard Maddy crying in the background.

“What are you talking about? What happened?”

“Madison’s dad showed up at the coffee house today. He said her boyfriend called him and told him she really wanted to see him. I think she is having an anxiety attack. I’m taking her back to the house now.”

“What about him?”

“I told him to go away and not come back. He asked if she would be okay and I told him if she wanted to see him, she would get in touch with him.”

“I’m on my way.” It was a miracle that I got home in one piece and without any tickets. I ran through the door and Jason was standing in the living room. “Where is she?”

“I brought her into your room. She is laying down now. So you didn’t call him?”

“No, I didn’t, but I have a good idea who did.”

“Carter, why have we not gone after that motherfucker yet?”

“I don’t even think he's back in town yet, J.” My cell phone rang and it was work, probably wondering why I ran out of there like a crazy person. “Hello?...yeah, I had an emergency…I can’t right now…you don’t understand---“

Jason tapped me on the shoulder, “Carter I’ll stay here if you need to go.” Jason cared about Maddy more than he would admit. He had a sister, Sara, who died when he was twelve; Maddy was his new adopted sister. He would protect her just as well as I would.

“Alright, count this as my break then…yeah, I’ll see you in less than an hour.” I hung up, hating that I needed to keep this job. “Listen, Jason, I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything.”

“It’s no problem, Carter. I feel like she is a part of my family.” I knew he meant that, and it was the only reason that I felt even a little okay with going back to work.

“Alright, well, I need to be back soon. I’m gonna go see her.” I walked into the bedroom and Maddy was curled into a ball, crying. I crawled into the bed and wrapped her in my arms, but she stiffened.

Then I remembered that Jason told me her dad said her boyfriend called. She still thinks it was me. I didn’t let her back away from me, but just held her to my chest. I kissed her head. “I didn’t call him, baby. It wasn’t me. Please don’t pull away from me.”

Madison

He didn’t call him? Who did then? No one even knows my background except for Carter and…Chris. He was doing all of this to mess with me.

I snuggled closer to Carter. If I could crawl inside him I would. Seeing my dad today seemed unreal. He looked so normal, nothing like the miserable drunk that I remember.

“Are you okay, babe?”

That was a complex question and I didn’t have a concrete answer. “I’m better, now that you’re here.” I looked up and kissed him.

“Listen, I ran out of work when Jason called me. If I want to keep my job, I need to leave in like a half-hour. All you have to do is say the word, though, and I’ll stay.”

I knew he was serious, but I wouldn’t make him do that. “Carter, it’s okay. I’ll be fine. It’s about time I put my big girl panties on and start dealing with my problems.”

He smiled. “I prefer your panties off.” He kissed me. He always knew the right thing to say to me. No matter how upset I was, Carter always knew what I needed to hear to make me feel better. “You sure you'll be okay?”

I nodded my head. ”I’m going to have to be.”

“Are you still going to come tonight?”

I had completely forgotten that Nicole and I had made plans to go to Rebellion tonight. I figured if Carter needed to work, at least I could be there, too. “Yeah, I guess so. Nicole would kill me if I canceled on her.”

“Nicole wouldn’t be the only one heartbroken.” I kissed him; I loved him so much. “I hate this, babe, but I have to go.” He gave me one last hug. “I’ll see you tonight. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I will be. I’m going to go shower. Tell Jason I’ll be out in a little. I love you.”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to leave for work when all I can picture is you in the shower.” He positioned himself on top of me. I could feel his erection rubbing against me; I wished he could just stay here. I leaned up and kissed him, but it wasn’t sweet like before. It was full of need and passion. Carter had this ability of making me get lost in him and when we were together, everything else faded away. “I could always find another job, you know.”

No, I’m not going to let him do that. “As much as I want you here Carter, you have to go.”

He jumped up off the bed. “Well, I need to go now then, or I won’t be able to. I love you. I’ll see you tonight.”

After I showered, I went to hang out with Jason. I plopped down next to him on the couch. “So, do you have a hot date tonight?”

He shook his head and laughed. “No, Mads, I don’t date.”

Why doesn’t he date? Jason was definitely a catch; he was hot by any girl’s standards and he was a great person.

“Why not, J?”

“Truth?”

“Truth.”

He seemed uncomfortable and apprehensive about whatever he was about to tell me. “My sister died when I was twelve; it crushed our whole family. My mom left us right before I started high school. She didn’t even say anything to us about it. Dad and I had been visiting my uncle and, when we came back, she was gone. No note or anything, just gone. I don’t let anyone in because I don’t want to have to deal with it when they walk away. Carter and Shawn are the only people I have let in for a really long time, and now you. I don’t bother with dating. I would rather just have fun and keep my inner circle small.”

That was horrible. If anyone knew how it felt to be abandoned, it was me. I could relate to how Jason was feeling. It was hard feeling like you aren’t wanted. “I understand, J; trust me, I do, but let me tell you something that I realized recently. You can’t let your past dictate how you live your present and your future.”

“Thanks, Mads, I just don’t want to open myself up to that right now.”

I hope that he can get over this soon. Jason is great and he has such a big heart. “Okay, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

“I’m fine, Mads; you don’t need to worry about me. How are you, though?”

“Um…I’m dealing with it. He looked so different; I can’t get it out of my head. He looked like my dad, not the monster that I was taken away from. He seemed like he was doing well, but I hate that he had that effect on me. I hate that Chris found another way to get to me. I just want this to be over.”

“So you think it’s him, too?”

I knew it was Chris. I just don’t understand why he can’t let me go. I feel like he has been more interested in me since we broke up, then he was when we were actually together.
“
Yeah, I do. Well, I really need to get ready.”

“Okay. I told Carter that I would pick up Nicole and we would all go together. If that’s okay with you.”

I walked over and gave him a hug. “Thanks for everything today, Jason. You know, I always wanted a big brother and now I feel like I have one. Think about what I said, J. Don't be afraid to let people in. Not everyone will hurt you; Carter helped me see that.”

I walked into the room and started to get dressed. I need to follow my own advice and let the past stay in the past.

Chapter 9

Carter

I couldn’t wait for Maddy to get here. I just needed to see her and make sure she was okay. I was working the floor tonight; I had specifically asked my manager to do it. I figured if I couldn’t be with Maddy tonight, at least I could be closer to her than I would be if I were working the front door.

I glanced toward the door and that’s when I saw her. She went shopping with Nicole yesterday for an outfit. I’d have to thank her later.

Maddy had on a black dress that tied around her neck. It dipped into a low V at her breasts and came to a stop just above her knees. She looked beautiful. I made my way over to her and pulled her into me. She had heels on that made her almost my height so she didn’t have to stand on her tiptoes to kiss me.

I was working so I really couldn’t do what I wanted to. “You look beautiful, baby.” I turned to look at Nicole who also had on a short dress. Jason was standing behind her and I noticed he was staring at Nicole. Was Jason checking her out?

I need to talk to him later about this. “You did good with this dress, Nic.” She smiled at me. I was really glad Maddy had a friend like her. “You don’t look too bad yourself, either. Don’t you think she looks hot, J?”

He looked at me like he wanted to kill me. “Yeah she looks great.”

“I need to get back to work, babe, but I’ll see you at midnight, okay?”

She smiled at me. “I can’t wait, and this will be my first New Years kiss.”