Protect Me (Sawtooth Shifters, #3) (8 page)

Kiera and I were going to have a lot of firsts together. This was the first time I’d woken up next to a woman I’d had sex with. Anyone before this had been a drunken romp, a faceless need for release. I was tired of pretending I was something I wasn’t, and denying myself what I really wanted.

“We need to talk about stuff.” Kiera had settled against her pillow again, no intention of going anywhere. Temptation rocked through my body, but Lyssie knocked before I had a chance to touch her. Kiera grimaced in the direction of the door. “I don’t want to mess this up, Baron.”

“You can’t.” I sat up, pulling her upright along with me, and rewarding her with a kiss. She had no idea how much we had to talk about. This shift had changed everything. “Let’s go to the shelter and check on Shadow.”

**

K
iera grabbed my arm before we walked in. She had her giant travel mug full of coffee in the other, and she was still pretty grumpy. “I’m scared for Trina. I’m scared for Shadow, too, but she won’t be able to handle it if he’s hurt. She keeps saying it’s her fault.”

I raised an eyebrow, apprehensive about what we might find, too. “Why?”

“Beats the hell out of me.” We looked over to Lyssie; she shrugged, having no explanation. Dallas stood behind her, just as nervous as I was.

“Did she go to war too?” I asked.

“No.” Kiera put her head down, heading up the stairs. “That’s up to her to tell you. We don’t kiss and tell around here.”

The girls squealed and I saw why once I entered the room. Shadow stood, tall and human, in the middle of the shelter. I hugged him, clapping my hand on his back. “Glad to see you, man.”

“How’d it go the other night?” Shadow wasted no time getting down to business.

Dallas took the lead. “We followed Major to Ryker’s land, because we decided to let him see what you’d done with his own eyes. The whole way there, he was talking shit, figuring you were too much of a pussy to take care of business. The look on his face, Shadow.” He slapped his thigh. “Man, I’m sorry you missed it.”

“What about Ryker’s men? Were they still there?” Shadow asked.

“For the most part. Some ran when they had the chance.” I knew that would piss him off, and he wasn’t going to like my next thought, either. “Some of them are shifters. I wonder if they were old fighters, wolves he had in the ring before us. In exchange for their ‘freedom,’ they had to serve him. You know how he liked to play games.”

Shadow’s expression sobered. “I never thought of that.” He shook his head, leaning against the window. The girls worked in the background, but all of them were paying more attention to us than their tasks. “We’ve got to get back there, put new structure into place, and make them trust us. I can’t have Major there fishing for recruits.”

“I need to talk to you about that,” I said quickly. No need to waste any more time.

Shadow walked toward Trina as he talked, taking a crate from her. “Make it quick, Baron. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover. I couldn’t have been down for the count at a worse time.”

“Not here.” It wasn’t a secret, but I didn’t want an audience. “Outside.”

Shadow put the crate down, mashing his lips together to hold in an argument. “Fine. Hurry up. The ladies are doing all the heavy lifting.”

He followed me outside, and I leaned against my truck. “I’m not fighting this war anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I want out of the pack.” No reason to dance around it with bullshit. And if I tried to make it sound like less than it was, I’d get less than I wanted. Shadow was going to see this as weak, and I had to prove it was just the opposite.

Shadow’s eyes almost popped out of his head. “You’ve got to be shitting me. It doesn’t work that way. You’re my brother.” He shook his head, his jaw set hard and angry. Shadow had been practicing his alpha role with us for years. He had no tolerance for deviances from his plan.

“I’ll always be your brother, Shadow. I’ll support you no matter what.” I had to get this right, or he’d rope me back in. “But I can’t be your soldier. Channings keep peace, but we’ve been aggressors since we were rescued. I can’t be proud of that.”

“Channings protect,” Shadow corrected me. “That’s exactly what we’ve been doing. Nobody at Forever Home should lose a second of their lives worrying what’s going to happen to them because they did the right thing. Violence disgusts me, Baron. But when it’s the only currency you have, you have to pay up.”

“Kiera didn’t wipe out in the mountain the other night. One of Ryker’s guys got her.” I swallowed hard, I’d planned on taking this secret to my grave, but now everyone knew. “I chased him down and beat him to death.”

“You did the right thing,” Shadow said quietly. “He would’ve done the same thing to any of us if he had the chance.”

“Did I? Because every time I close my eyes, all I can see is the pulp of his face melting the snow.” I shuddered. The image was back. The man’s eyes unfocused, frozen in that awful moment forever. The last thing he saw was the branch coming down to meet his skull. “If that’s the right thing, I can’t do that, Shadow. I’ll always support you, but I can’t kill.”

He chuckled, wiping his hand over his face. “I’m not surprised.” His eyes shifted to the forest. “You don’t mind reaping the rewards, but when it comes to the hard and ugly shit, you’re nowhere to be found.”

“What the hell are you talking about? I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me.” I wasn’t going to fall prey to the guilt. He wanted to make me prove myself. I’d taken a life. There was no bigger price I could pay unless I gave my own. “I won’t constantly be on the attack, trading one enemy for the next. Ryker’s gone.”

“Then there shouldn’t be an issue.” Shadow crossed his arms, giving me a chance to beg for his acceptance. Nope. I couldn’t give him any openings. “I don’t like this, Baron. You’re not making things easy for me. I wanted you by my side when I went to talk to Major. He’ll notice you aren’t there.”

“I’ll be there for you in other ways. We’ll get the business up and running. Anything else you ask, but I won’t fight.”

Shadow nodded, his hand on the doorknob. “If I find out you’re working with Major, we’re not brothers anymore.”

K
iera

“Now that Jolie and Dex are back, we need to make some room in here,” Trina said. Jolie and Dex were two of our German Shepherds who the Channings had rescued from Ryker’s farm the other night. The couples that adopted them totally pulled the wool over our eyes. We never for a second thought they were dirtbags who’d do
that
to a dog. We were beating ourselves up that we let two of our own go to such a nightmare. They hadn’t been there long enough to get the full Ryker treatment, but we were making sure to give them all the extra TLC we could. “We’ve talked about you two taking a foster. I think you’re more than ready.”

Not so long ago, neither Lyssie or I would’ve been able to handle this. We hadn’t been capable of giving or receiving affection. Now I realized how much I’d been starving for it all along. It was one of those sobering moments when I realized how far I’d actually come since working at Forever Home.

“When are you putting the photos up on the website?” Before all hell broke loose with the Channings and the full moon, we had our monthly photo shoot. I loved the way the animals seemed to know what was going on. They all hammed it up for the camera, curious about the flashy thing in front of my face. I got some really amazing captures. Hopefully it would do the trick.

“Today. Next order of business, barring an outbreak of mayhem and foolishness, which is just how we roll.” Trina giggled. She was floating on air now that Shadow had shifted. I can’t remember ever seeing her so happy. I could imagine, from the way they were always all over each other, that she’d given him a pretty solid welcome back. “So who do you think you’re going to pick? Figure it out, because they’re going home with you tonight.”

I realized I hadn’t paid that much attention to Lyssie today. She always made sure I was awake, or else I’d hit snooze until noon. Usually we chatted on the way to work. Well, she’d talk and I’d grunt between sips of coffee. Since we had company this morning, we drove with our guys separately. And I’d been preoccupied since we got here, daydreaming of having Baron in my bed again. Next to Trina, Lyssie looked gray. Shit.

“Who do you think we should take?” I asked her, standing in the middle of the play room. Most of the dogs and cats were out, weaving between our legs or batting a ball around the room. Others slept in their crates with open doors. I loved that. They didn’t see it as a jail, just as a place to chill. “I wouldn’t mind taking someone who’s been here for a while, like Fluffy.” Fluffy was a bearded lizard with the best smile ever. He didn’t do much besides sunbathe and torture crickets before deciding to eat them, but he was pretty rad. And he had no hope of getting his forever home. When he was lucky enough to get noticed, he was usually greeted with a jump and a shriek.

“Fluffy’s easy.” Lyssie reached into his cage, he eagerly climbed her arm. “Depending on how we do with one kid, maybe we could eventually take another foster, too.”

No light in her eyes, even though she was joking. The dynamic with the brothers was weird today, but I kind of expected that. The three of them needed to get on the same page. The part of me that needed Forever Home expected Shadow to tell his brothers not to see us anymore. If that was the case, would they be able to walk away from us? Did Lyssie know something I didn’t?

“What happened last night?” There was no point in asking her if she was okay since she obviously wasn’t. “You don’t seem like yourself.”

“Nothing happened,” she said too quickly, turning away from me. She settled in a chair, letting Fluffy crawl onto her chest.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“It’s just a thing.” Her eyes glazed over. “I’m scared, okay? And it’s not the sex. I’m terrified once Dallas gets to know me, he’ll realize that I’m a freak. And if he doesn’t, I don’t know if I’m ready to be normal.” The tears fell, but she wasn’t giving into crying.

I knelt down beside her under the guise of patting Fluffy. “Be honest with him.” Lyssie shook her head. “I’m serious. If he’s anything like Baron, or what Shadow seems to be like, he’ll understand. I felt the same way, because no one got me before. You and Trina do, but it’s because you’re going through it, too. For someone to look past all of it and still want to take a chance, it’s pretty awesome. Don’t make Dallas’ decisions for him.”

**

“T
his is Fluffy.” I introduced my lizard to my wolf by handing him a massive cage. “He’s our new roommate. Careful, because he likes to hang out in the branches just under the lamp.”

Baron peeked around the cage, grinning. “I always wanted one of these as a kid, but my mother refused to get any pets, knowing it would turn into four.” Fluffy smiled at his admirer.

I crammed myself into the backseat of the truck, making sure Fluffy didn’t go ass over teakettle on the way to the apartment. Lyssie and I lived in the middle of town, above an old time hardware slash home supply store. It had been there forever, and I was honestly surprised to learn it had survived so long. Granger Falls was suffering from an influx of hipsters, but one thing they did was revive all the cool old downtown stores. And bring us good coffee.

“How long have you lived here?” Baron asked. “I came here all the time, before we were captured. I definitely would’ve remembered you.”

His gaze melted the evening chill away. “Only nine months.” I wonder how it would’ve been different, if I’d met him before. Actually, I had a pretty good idea. “The only one of you I’d seen around before was Major.”

“Oh yeah?” Baron bristled, setting down the cage as I instructed, in front of the window but not too close. Lizards loved sun but hated cold. Fluffy had a sun lamp but I thought he might appreciate some au naturale vitamin D as well. “Where was that?”

“Lyssie and I went to a Full Moon Fever party when we first moved here.” I shouldn’t have brought this up. “He was there.”

Baron’s eyes darkened. He was obviously a Full Moon Fever alum. I prayed he didn’t ask any questions, but it was pretty obvious how things ended: badly. After all, we were talking about Major. I wondered if he even remembered me. After three, maybe more, shots of Fireball, we may have locked lips. I slapped him across the face when he put his hand under my shirt, too close to my scars. Major had a couple choice pet names for me as Lyssie dragged me out of there before I had a breakdown. I never thought I’d see him again, until he crawled out of the back of Trina’s truck two weeks ago.

“Wait a minute,” he said. My heart pounded, thinking Major had already blew my cover. “You got Lyssie to go to one of those?”

“I know, right?” I laughed. “We had no idea what it was all about, and I dragged her. We didn’t stay long.” The party was wild, something you’d expect to find on Bourbon Street in New Orleans, not Main Street in Granger Falls, Idaho. Now I knew it was a place for shifters to find women to hook up with, needing an outlet for all that feral energy coursing through their veins before the shift.

“No wonder I didn’t see you then.” Baron straddled me in the chair, his lips lowering to my neck. The goosebumps were back. His stubble scraped the tender skin, but I loved it, pulling him closer so he couldn’t stop. He managed to pull away, but not by much, his lips hovering over mine. “Is the little guy all set for the night?”

I tipped my head to check on Fluffy. “I think so. We should let him settle. He’s probably freaked out from the trip.” I cupped Baron’s chin, kissing him. “But I’ll keep an eye on him.”

Baron gave me a fake frown. “I was hoping you’d keep an eye on me.”

“I will.” I raked my fingers down his chest. The noise that came out of him, good lord. No human could have made it, somewhere between a groan and a growl. He threw his head back, and I imagined him as wolf, worshipping the moon. Much the same way I was going to make him worship me.

We didn’t need an audience. I whispered in Baron’s ear, “I want you to go in my room. I’m going to make sure Fluffy’s good. When I get in there,” I pulled away, our eyes locking, “I better not find a stitch of clothing anywhere near this beautiful body.”