Authors: Choices
Rachel Carrington (9 page)
He tipped her chin up with two fingers. “I think you know, my sweet.”
“You should not have touched me like that.”
He smiled, an all-knowing supremely masculine smile. “And yet, you did not protest once my fingers found that soft nubbin or once my tongue replaced my fingers.”
Carla’s heart hammered against her breastbone. She’d never heard that particular part of her anatomy referred to in such a manner, but the way Sinclair said the word splashed a wave of longing over her. “It doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t have done that.”
“Did you really not want me to touch you, Carla?” He cupped her face and stepped closer to her. His cock bumped against her thigh and the sheer hardness had her fingers itching to close around its length.
His lips tasted the flesh closest to her ear. “You liked the way I touched you, stroked you. And when you reached your pleasure, you clung to me.”
Carla’s breath shuddered out of her lungs. “Stop.”
His hands settled on her waist. “Stop what, my sweet? Stop talking about how much I enjoyed feeling your warm, wet cleft? When I left you, the taste lingered on my tongue for hours on end. I dared not drink lest I lose the honey.”
“Oh God,” Carla whispered.
He began to drag the long folds of her gown up her legs. “You have been unhappy for a very long time. I only desire to make you happy now.” The prophetic words caught Carla unawares and proved to be the impetus she needed to pull away from him.
She tugged the voluminous skirts back down. “You don’t know me.”
He arched one eyebrow. “I think I know you better than you want me to.”
“Stop that.”
His eyebrows lifted. “Stop what?”
“Assessing me like I’m a piece of furniture you’re about to purchase. You can’t possibly know as much as you think you do.”
Sinclair extended his hand. “Then tell me what you think I should know.”
Carla looked down at the outstretched palm, drawing her like a thirsty man to a well. “Why would you want to know?”
His hand held steady. “I want to know everything about you, Carla.”
She slipped her hand into his and allowed him to pull her to his side, in spite of her own misgivings. “You were right when you said that I don’t like my mother. I know that probably sounds as awful as it makes me feel inside, but she makes it so hard to like her. I do love her. We’re supposed to love our families, aren’t we? I don’t know what your beliefs are when it comes to family ties, but we’re taught from birth that family is the most important thing in our lives. Unfortunately, I’m from one of those families that also believe that your own life doesn’t count. You should do whatever it takes to ensure that your family members are happy and content even at the expense of your own life.”
She didn’t even realize Sinclair had guided her toward a grassy slope overlooking the lake. He’d removed his waistcoat to provide her a place to sit and seemed content to allow the intimate moment to pass. Giving him a grateful smile, she sank down on the plush landscape and drew her knees to her chest.
“Tell me about your sister.”
“Diane. She’s so unhappy. She was forced into a marriage with someone she didn’t love.”
“Love can grow. My own mother was forced into marriage with my father. They had a long, happy marriage and they loved.”
Carla shook her head adamantly. “Diane could never be happy with Sam. He didn’t want a wife. He wanted a place in my father’s company and he thought by marrying my sister, he would secure his future.
They have two children. That’s the only happiness Diane gets from that union.”
“You love your sister very much.”
“Yes.”
“You wish you could take her away from her marriage.”
His astuteness amazed her. “Diane would never leave. It’s just not in her nature to walk away from her commitment.”
“You have never married. Why?” Sinclair wrapped his arm around her as the wind increased over the lake, blowing the cool air in their direction.
Carla smiled into the air. “Because I saw my parents’ marriage and Diane’s and that was enough for me.
I could never live with a man who directed my every move. Diane asks for permission before she leaves the house. That’s not for me.” She tipped her face to his. “It’s that way here, too, isn’t it? The man rules the house and the little woman.”
Sinclair’s eyes darkened to smoky ebony. “When a woman holds a man’s heart, he cannot rule her. She can rule him if she tries, but that is not the way love is. He protects her, loves her, provides for her and God help the man who would try to harm her. A man in love would die for the woman he loves and she would do the same for him. That is love.”
Carla felt the tears filling her eyes and she quickly looked away. “You have given me orders since I came, directions at every turn. I assumed that you treated your wife the same way.”
“My wife knew about this land and how things are. She did not need my instruction. I give you direction to help you fit into my world, not to make you chafe against the lack of freedom. You are free to roam the grounds as you will. The horses and carriages are at your disposal. The town is not far away and you should explore as much as you want. It is not customary for ladies to travel alone here, but you may take any one of the ladies in waiting. They are at your service as well. I do not chain you to Heath Castle, Carla.”
“Aren’t you afraid that I will find a way to leave?”
“I am not sure that I can answer that question yet.”
“Will you tell me about your wife now?”
Sinclair’s breath shuddered out of his lungs. “No. That is not a subject that I will discuss with anyone.”
“Why? I know that she died. What I want to know is why you still feel so much pain? Was it a long illness? Sinclair—” she touched his sleeve, “—I want to know you as much as you want to know me.”
Sinclair looked down at her hand and shook his head. “You will know what you need to know.”
“So you’re going to keep a part of yourself hidden from me then?”
“It is not a subject I will discuss.”
Carla got to her feet. “And because you have spoken that ends the conversation, right? Because you are a man and I’m a lowly woman. Your word is law. Because you are a Duke and you make the rules, right? You say you want to know me and that’s what matters, isn’t it? What you want. Not what anyone else wants. You loved your wife. That much I can see. I can also see that you’re holding on very tightly to the past. It’s no wonder that I was thrown into this castle. I’ve never been given an easy road my entire life.” She dusted off the edge of her gown and tightened her grip around the fringe of her shawl.
“We have a saying in my world. The road runs both ways. It means that you can’t have everything that you want. You have to be willing to share.”
Sinclair pushed himself to a standing position. “I am unaccustomed to being spoken to in this manner.”
“Well, as long as I am here, you’d better get used to it. I don’t beat around the bush for anyone. If you don’t like something I say, then, I suggest you learn how to deal with it or walk away. I’m sure you’re very good at running away from your feelings.”
Sinclair’s brows lowered to a thunderous scowl. “The fog is coming in. We should return to the house.”
“Yes, I suppose I’ve overstepped my bounds, haven’t I? Crossed the line? Broached a subject that you don’t want to talk about and suddenly, you slip back into your role of ruler and lord. God, this is incredible. You are incredible. How long have you been moping around here? I could understand if your wife had only been dead a month, but your servants were more than willing to provide me with that information. It was almost three years ago. You have grieved for her, but you haven’t let her go.”
Sinclair’s hands settled on her shoulders as his face blackened with fury. “Do not speak about things you know nothing about. And what do you know about grief? You are still wrapped up in your own miserable life to see anyone else’s pain. You say you hurt for your sister but you are not willing to help her. Your family makes you unhappy and yet you are still close enough for them to control your life.
Before you can change someone else’s life, Carla, I would suggest you try to change your own.” His hands fell to his sides and his long strides carried him away from her, leaving her alone on the grassy knoll.
* * * * *
The light tap on the bedchamber door brought Carla up off the bed and to her feet. She straightened her dress and bade her visitor to enter.
Sinclair pushed open the door and waited just at the entranceway. His expression was a mixture of regret and sorrow. “I owe you an apology. I spoke harshly to you, in a way you do not deserve. Please accept my apologies.”
Carla hitched her shoulders and turned away. “It doesn’t matter, Sinclair. I just need to concentrate on finding my way back home.”
“Do you really want to leave that desperately?”
“I don’t have a choice. I don’t belong here. You’re not ready for this kind of interruption in your life and I certainly don’t have any idea of what it means to be a nineteenth-century lady. In my world, I have the wealth and class as you have here, but it’s different. I don’t fit in here.”
Sinclair moved into the room, his steps unhurried. “Would it make a difference if I told you that I didn’t want you to leave?”
She pursed her lips. “Would this have anything to do with…” she broke off, not certain how to continue.
She’d never been shy about sex, but how could she describe the masterful masturbation, the stunning feel of his tongue against her clit and the amazing, repeated orgasms he’d brought her to?
Sinclair watched her carefully before shaking his head. “I’ve wanted you to stay since the moment I saw you, Carla.”
“I have to leave…just as soon as I can find out how to leave.”
“Even when you find the way, I hope you will reconsider. What do you have to go back to, Carla?”
“My home. My sister. My job.”
His brows lowered. “Your job?”
Carla laughed. “Yes. My job. I work.”
“What do you do?”
Carla lifted her gaze to the ceiling. The task of explaining the stock market to a man who was still mired in pounds and pences was daunting at best and not one Carla was sure she could tackle in one evening.
She settled for a simple reply. “I work with money.”
“You keep accounts.” Sinclair nodded understandingly.
“To some degree, yes.”
“And your home and your job, have they brought you happiness?”
“You think I could be happy here?”
His teeth flashed whitely against his sun-bronzed face. “You have the opportunity to be happy here.
Whether or not you choose to take it is your own decision. My family has arrived. Are you ready to go down for supper?”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to face your family.”
“They are ready to meet you.”
Carla hooked her arm through his. “What have you told them?”
“That you an incredibly beautiful woman who dropped into my library one day and now, I am not sure that I can let you go.”
Carla could feel her resolve to leave melting away beneath the intensity of his stare, the wistfulness in his voice. “You didn’t tell them that and besides, you can’t let something go that you don’t hold.”
With a neat turn, Sinclair enfolded her in his embrace. “But I hold you now.”
Carla’s knees weakened. “It’s not the same thing.”
“You do not want me to hold you?”
Oh, yes, she did. Carla’s lashes fluttered and she willed her heart to slow down to a normal pace. “I didn’t say that, but this will never work.”
Sinclair kissed her forehead, her eyelids and then her lips. “Just promise me one thing.”
Her eyes opened and met his penetrating gaze. “What’s the promise?”
“That you will take advantage of this opportunity while you are searching for a way home. Let me show you my way of life here and then, in the end, when you find your way, make your choice.”
Carla swallowed and nodded. “That I can promise.” She knew herself too well. When the time was right and she found her way back to her own world, she would return. She had no other choice. She didn’t belong here.
His knuckles grazed her cheek. “And I promise you that I will open every door of happiness to you that is within my power. Tomorrow morning, we will go into town. I want to show you my world before you return to yours.” He shifted slightly and Carla felt his dick rub against her. This time, she didn’t restrain herself from cupping him. Sinclair’s eyes closed on a soft moan of pleasure.
“You’re hard for me,” she whispered, almost in awe.
“I have remained in a constant state since you arrived.”
Carla boldly allowed her fingers to move over his crotch. “You know, I could help you with this.”
His eyes flew open and he caught hold of her wrist. “You will not.”
She frowned. “You can wring multiple orgasms out of me, but I can’t return the favor?”
His fingers loosened. “Why would you want to return the favor?”
“Because I want to see you.” Her fingers tried to work the fastener on his pants, but she finally gave up.
“But I’m afraid you’re going to have to help.”
He swallowed a groan. “Carla, I cannot allow you to do this.”
“Why?”
He tipped two fingers under her chin. “Because knowing the feel of your lips around my cock will only make your leaving more torturous for me.” He lowered her hand to her side and pressed his forehead to hers. “I must go.” He backed away from her, almost stumbling in his haste.
