Rags 2 Pitches: A Secret Baby Sports Romance (4 page)

“You know what, all I hear is me, my siblings, and me again. I just don’t seem to feature in the equation!” With those words she stood up. I was never a person that was good with words. This was the main reason I would be shit at being a solicitor or any other profession that needed words. I tried to think of something to say, but as I searched for the words, before I looked up again she was gone. Probably on the bus back home. I wanted to reassure her, tell her that nothing would come in our way, but just like she had planned out her life and it involved going to university and getting a degree, I had planned out mine. And if it involved moving to Manchester, then so be it. If she couldn’t understand that, then this relationship was over.

I just didn't know which one hurt more right now, her not trying to understand or me probably having to leave.

Chapter 10

Nicola

“Dad, you’re home!” I hadn’t expected that, especially on a weekend. He was always claiming that he was on a business trip and preferred to leave on a Friday night so he had a clear head for Monday, but we all knew that it wasn’t true. Everyone needs to switch off, even corporate heads like him.

“I was waiting for you. Your mum said you were in Croydon with Michelle.”

I nodded, I didn’t feel like being interrogated. Right now, Ryan was talking to the manager of Manchester Club about possibly leaving London and going up there. The only thing I wanted to do right now was go to my room and cry.

“Well, were you?”

“If Mum says I was there, then I was there. Why?”

I was being defensive and the last thing I wanted was an interrogation. The man was never at home, and he had the cheek to ask me about my whereabouts.

“Funny that. I saw Michelle’s tweet about being at a football match.”

I stopped with my hand on the bannister, ready to turn around and face the music. Since when did he go on Twitter, let alone know Michelle’s Twitter handle? This felt surreal; I knew nothing about his life and I was pretty sure that he knew nothing about mine.

“I never knew that you were into football.”

“How would you when you are never at home?”

He smirked, “Now, you know I’m always working.”

I bit my tongue, because I was going to say something, anything, to put him in his place, but I couldn’t; no matter what he was my dad.

“Yes, but if you want we could go to a match together.”

I needed to leave before the tears started rolling down my cheeks. I had walked all the way home. I hadn’t stopped, not even for a second.

“I wouldn’t want you to get distracted,” he said.

Now, he had my attention, he knew. This conversation was a threat; he wasn’t interested in spending time with me. Then again why should he? He hadn't been for the last ten years or probably more.

“Going to a football match is getting distracted?” I raised an eyebrow, thinking that he should just get to the punchline.

He held onto my shoulders as he stood at the bottom of the stairs. This cold house that I had lived in for so many years and that I called home, felt more like a prison as he spat his words at me so confidently, “Yes, distracted. I talked to your mum and she will be taking you to school and back if I am not at home.”

“She’ll be above the limit. How is that making sure that I’m not distracted? Making sure that I get driven to school every day by a drunk.”

He couldn’t believe that I could be so bold. “This is exactly what I am talking about,” he said as he tightened his grip, “You’ve been seeing that boy, not only on the way and back from school, but at the weekends too.”

I was just about to protest, but he cut me with his grip as he held me tighter. It was starting to hurt and I wondered for the first time in my life how far he would go. I was the good girl, the one that studied and wanted to get good grades to go to uni. The one that turned a blind eye to the cheating husband and the drunk mum. Now, I was the girl with a boyfriend, and all of a sudden the other two people that I lived with had started to pay attention.

“Let me put it in simple terms so that you understand what I mean!”

He was threatening me and the more I tugged back, the more closely he drew me towards him.

“I do not want you to speak to him. Look at him. Breathe the same air as him.”

His last statement made me laugh. “Unlike Mum, I’m not party to your threats.” I moved so that he would let go of me.

“There’s only one thing that would make you listen.”

He was so predictable I knew what he was going to say next, but I continued up the stairs. Dad had managed to turn me from a rose petal to a thorn in the space of five minutes. I was an emotional wreck and I knew that Ryan had started his shift at Starbucks but I wanted to speak to him and tell him that I was sorry. Tell him that it didn’t matter if he was in Manchester, I would be at uni soon and he could come and stay or I could visit him at Old Trafford. We had only been going out for a few weeks and I shouldn’t expect him to give up everything because of me. That wasn’t fair or right.

“If you don’t stop seeing him, you can forget me paying for you to go to university, just for you to end up with some thief.”

“Well, it’s a good job that I’m not going then.”

He was going to follow me up the stairs; I thought about my words and wanted to run back down the stairs and beg him to pay for uni, but I knew that it was a bluff. There was no way Dad wasn’t going to pay for his little girl to go to uni. I could imagine the disgrace on his mum’s face if she found out that I never had a degree because of Dad.

She would have a fit. There was only one woman that could control him and, as much as he was a bully to everyone else, he was far from that with her.

Chapter 11

Ryan

“You okay with this?”

It was half-term, which was good because the last couple of weeks her dad had been taking her to school and, if he wasn’t around, it had been her mum. As for the weekends, with training and everything, it had been impossible to meet up. The good thing about still being at school and not college was the fact that we were both on holidays at the same time.

“So, when do you leave?”

That was the million dollar question. I had just finished my shift at Starbucks and I had another one at McDonald’s the next morning. Free time didn’t mean that I got to spend it with her, it just meant more work.

“Next month.”

She shook her head. “But what about school?”

That was the part that I hadn’t told her yet. “That isn’t an issue, I still go to college just in Manchester, besides I would be a reserve. I wouldn't have my own place, I would be sharing with another guy, but bringing in 500 pounds a week is a lot. A lot more then I get from both my jobs now, and a roof over my head. Nicola, you need to understand, it is not that I don't want to be with you. It’s just that it's a golden opportunity that I can’t miss.”

“I know.”

I nodded, mainly because what had felt like a great time to meet up was turning out to be the complete opposite.

“So you’re sure about tonight?”

I had to ask her one last time. It was obvious that she didn’t want us to sit down and talk about football all day. She had said on the phone that she had booked a room at the Innkeeper’s Lodge near Starbucks. Her friend, Sharon, was away for the weekend and had offered her house, but I hadn’t felt comfortable with that, so she was going to use her friend as an excuse to get away for the night. The whole thing felt weird, but between my house always being busy with my brothers and my sister who would once in a while come back home, it really was the only option.

I hadn't told Nicola everything about my housing situation and I decided that seeing as she wanted to take the next step in our relationship, it was the best thing that I could do. I had to come clean about everything.

“Yes, I told you and I really want us to do this. You know?”

She nodded for confirmation; it was the most unromantic setting ever. I was holding her hand and walking with her back to the hotel. She didn’t feel like sitting on the bus and neither did I. I wondered if her hand was as sweaty as mine, but she was wearing gloves and I had just loaned mine to my brother, seeing as he had lost his again.

We were walking for nearly twenty minutes to the InnKeeper’s Lodge. Sharon and her mum had gone away for the week to Spain so there was no way Nicola’s parents could contact them.

“It’s just that you never try to kiss me.”

She sighed as she focused on the ground. It was dark as it always was this time of year at around four in the afternoon, but then it felt as if it was the middle of the night. Apart from the odd passer-by shoving past us and a few cars on the road, the air felt quiet as if we were the only ones around. I knew it wasn’t true, but the idea of sharing her, even for a moment, felt unreal.

“I don’t know, Nicola. Sometimes I feel as if I’m dreaming when I’m with you.”

She laughed, “You treat me as if I’m some kind of delicate flower.”

I pulled her back as she was just about to cross the road. “Because that’s how I feel about you. Protective, as if I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“And you think that by being with you I would get hurt?”

I didn’t know how to answer that one. Sometimes I had wondered if my life was just one big curse, that was until I’d met Nicola. Being with someone like her made me feel good. The kids at school were okay, but I tended to only hang out with the football crowd, but then again I didn’t even have time to hang out with anyone, because I was always working. I only cut back on a shift because of Nicola. Technically at my age, I should only have one job, not two.

“The hotel’s not far. At least we don’t have to walk back to Tulse Hill.” She quickly changed the subject, which was the right thing to do; we would have to have a proper talk another time. Right now she was taking me to the other side of Dulwich to give me her virginity. I wished that I was giving her mine too. But then again, being more experienced meant that I could control myself with her, as I had been doing until now. I didn’t want to lose control. We had an opportunity to be together and I didn't want to spoil it, not one bit.

Chapter 12

Nicola

We walked the rest of the way in silence. I spent most of my time wondering if this was a mistake and maybe I had been too forward. I knew that Ryan was going soon. Maybe I was desperate and had to find a way for him to stay. Something for him to remember me by, it felt like the right thing to do.

I had spent my whole life being the good girl. Doing everything that I should do, because it was expected of me. Yet, my dad was a bully who drove my mum to the bottle and she had become too weak to do anything about it.

We stood in Dulwich Village, outside the InnKeeper’s Lodge. Ryan asked, “Are you sure about this?”

I didn’t need to answer that one, because I realized that it was the right thing to do. I was worrying about being caught, like I had done recently when I bunked off school. I wanted Ryan. As we walked on the pebbled path and reached the red door, I let go of his hand and opened it.

It had once been a house, and from the outside, it didn’t look like a hotel. Just a pretty brick detached house.

I felt like taking pictures and trying to get rid of my nerves, but they wouldn’t go away. I reached in my bag and turned off my phone. I checked to make sure that neither dad nor mum had called; I knew that Mum was going to Paris with a friend and I suspected that Dad may have gone away with his special lady friend.

The whole thing was stupid; one minute they were so worried about me hooking up with Ryan and then the next they were too self-absorbed with Dad’s extramarital affairs and Mum was spending too much money to try and get his attention.

Tonight was about Ryan and I, as we headed through to the reception I replied, “I’ve never been more sure about anything before in my life.”

His eyes lit up as he took my hand and kissed it.

The receptionist reminded me of my mum, as she smiled when we reached her desk. I wondered if the receptionist knew what tonight meant. I filled the form in and Ryan didn't hesitate to pay. I knew that he couldn’t afford it, but I didn't want to argue with him in front of her.

“Would you like a wake-up call in the morning?” she smiled as she adjusted her bun, shifting her eyes from Ryan to me as she asked the question.

“Nah, I’ve got an alarm on my phone,” Ryan said; I could hardly speak. I felt as if my heart had stopped beating as the forms, payment and everything else seemed to take forever. The only thing I wanted to do was get in the room and be in his arms. Not on the street or in Starbucks or Maccy D’s. Alone and in private, it felt like a dream come true. I’d thought about him coming to the house seeing as no one was there, but I didn't trust Dad. He probably had one of the neighbours looking out for us, or had asked Grandma to stay. This felt like a once in a lifetime opportunity and I wasn’t going to let it go. Like an exam that I had prepped for so many times, I had figured out this evening down to the last hour. I had even bought sexy lingerie.

This whole adventure had opened my eyes, made me see things in a completely different light. It excited me, not because I was going behind my parents’ backs, but because I was being completely selfish, only thinking of me, something that I had never done until now.

“Will you be having breakfast in the morning?” she asked, this time focusing on Ryan.

He replied, “Nah, I got a shift in the morning. So I need to be up early. But, Nicola, if you want you can have breakfast?”

I’d never thought about it. I’d envisaged us both leaving at the same time, him going to work and me going back home.

“No, I don't want to be alone. I thought I would leave the same time as you.”

He smiled as he stroked the side of my face, “Why? You can chill out a bit and then leave when you like. Isn’t that right, Jenny?”

Wow, he was so perceptive, he had taken a note of her name when she had introduced herself. The only thing I had said was, “We have a room booked in the name of Nicola Willis,” thinking that all she would do would be to hand us the keys, not ask us a million questions.

At one point, I was tempted to shout out, “I’m a virgin, so fucking what? I’ve come here to change that!” But then I remembered what Michelle had said the last time we’d spoken at the match, that my language had changed for the worse. Thanks to Ryan.

“Sure. Why not? I’ve never had breakfast alone in a hotel.”

It sounded sad, but actually the idea of it, hanging out and acting like an adult, felt new to me and something that I could actually enjoy.

“That's settled then…” she continued to tell us where our room was and what number it was and if we were going to go out later, the full instructions. The only thing that was on my mind was the fact that I needed to freshen up. Tonight was going to be a long one, something that I had been looking forward to all week.

***

As soon as I opened the hotel room door, he gently put his arm round my waist, drawing me closer and whispered, “I’m so glad you did this.” He tasted as nice as I thought he would, his lips were delicious. They tasted like vanilla.

I traced my hand through his soft wavy hair and was taken by surprise by his abruptness. I had it all in my head about how it would happen and right now as we stood by the door, I had completely lost control.

I pushed him away and whispered, “I need to shower and just freshen up.”

We had been walking for so long and I wanted tonight to be special, so the idea of him taking me right now set in my nerves. We had to go slowly, I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t want him to quickly take me and be done. That was for sure.

I tried to catch my breath when he said, “Sure. Don’t be too long.” He pecked me on the nose.

“I won’t,” I took a deep breath as he turned on the lights and I entered the small bathroom. I wanted tonight to be perfect. Everything that I had fantasized about - and more.