Ransom (10 page)

“Ransom, Ransom, Ransom,” Pa said between gritted teeth.
 

Just the sound of my name passing across his lips was enough to shake whatever fake calm I had fought to maintain. He elbowed me hard in the ribs. I released a low grunt, sure that he had cracked something. But other than that, I stayed quiet. I was actually surprised that he had even done that much since Sanford was in the car; Pa never laid a hand on me with anyone present. His act showed just how angry he was.

“Are you okay?” Sanford asked, completely oblivious to what had just gone down.

I drew in a long inhalation.

 
“Yeah sure, just a stitch in my side,” I said.
 

My statement was so close to the truth that I knew it would only make Pa even more irate. By this point I didn’t care. Whatever came, came, there was nothing that I could do about it so why worry. A while ago a guy who had worked with us for a couple of months had told me that worry was wasted time. He said if you had control of an outcome than there was no need to worry, and if you didn’t have any control why would you worry then either, since there was nothing you could do about it. His words had made sense, but it didn’t stop me from stressing out about stuff, though when things were this dire that whole concept rang truer than ever.

It didn’t take long before we were on the outskirts of town. Sanford had switched on the radio and soft country twang drifted around us. No one spoke, as if we had all taken a vow of silence. I glanced up at the moon that shone full and bright above our heads. The stars were sprinkled lights across black silk. The night sky still looked beautiful, even if everything else had gone to shit.
 

The breeze that blew into the open truck windows was cool and fresh, so different from the sultry heat of the day. Soon the lights of the city were lost in the road behind us, and we were surrounded in darkness as thick as black ink. I wanted the beauty that surrounded us to go on forever, to stay safe in the cab of the car where nothing, not even Pa brooding beside me, could shatter me. There was power in sensations. Lost in a moment of dreams everything and anything could be possible. Gab and I could run away and live a normal life, one Pa never had to taint.

When we pulled alongside the camp all fantasies of a better tomorrow were dashed, and it was raw and real. It was the time for reckoning. All sins would be dealt with, quick and dirty, and life would continue as it had before.

Sanford parked the truck under a temporary string of lights that we had suspended from poles during the build. It was the only brilliance in the scattering of trailers and vehicles that made up the entourage. Since it was still the early hours of the morning, everyone was fast asleep. I wondered if Dave, Paula, and Jose were already tucked away in their beds.
 

Sanford was the first out of the truck. Pa was next and finally me. My ribs still smarted from the poke that he had given me, but since I was able to breathe without pain, I reasoned that they weren’t broken.
 

“Good night or should I say good morning,” Sanford said with a tip of his ball cap. “I’ll see you two in a few hours for breakfast.”

“Thanks for everything Sanford,” I said, a little embarrassed that I hadn’t thought to thank him until right then. I had been so wrapped up in my mind, that I had all but forgotten that I had pulled Sanford out of his bed to help me. I still had no idea how Pa had known that I was in trouble since I was sure that Sanford would never have woken him up in the night.

“No problem Ransom. Just don’t make a habit of it,” he said with a sleepy grin, then he disappeared into the parts of the field not illuminated by the makeshift lighting.

I felt Pa’s glare searing into the skin of my back. I spun to face him.

“Sorry Pa, I… it wasn’t my fault these guys jumped me and then they took off and…”

“That’s just fine Ransom, I understand,” Pa said.
 

Malice dripped from his words. It sent another shiver through me. He turned toward the trailer where he slept, I followed.

He whipped around suddenly, his face in the shadows, making it impossible to read his expression.
 

“Get to bed, we have a big day ahead of us,” he said.

“What…I…I…” I stuttered, not exactly sure what was happening, or why he was letting me off the hook so easily.

“Go,” he ordered. “We’ll finish this soon enough, but for now get some sleep.” Still stunned I remained stock still, but when I realized I had been given a get out of jail free card, literally, I didn’t waste any time getting the hell out of there. As I strode to the trailer that I shared with Gabriel, I half expected Pa to change his mind and come back for me.

 
He didn’t.
 

The outdoor light of the trailer was illuminated. Brown-spotted moths swirled around the light like planets orbiting the sun. I tugged the door open. As usual all the overhead lights, just light bulbs suspended from cords, were burning bright. Gabriel was scared of the dark. As far as I could remember he had never fallen asleep without a night light.
 

His tiny form was snuggled in the bed with a thin sheet covering him. Tufts of his white blonde hair sprouted like shafts of wheat above the sheet that obscured most of his head. A table fan oscillated back and forth, barely cooling the trailer. It felt like it was near ninety-degrees inside.
 

Though it was cool outside, the tiny windows opened on an angle and didn’t come even close to allowing enough fresh air in to reduce the temperature. Our cots for sleeping, that were folded up for the day, made the already cramped space even tighter. The half-moon particle board table where we ate our meals, was clipped to the wall to make space. The folding chairs were also collapsed and against the wall next to the bar-sized fridge, that made gurgling sounds all night and day. Though the trailer was our home for the better part of the year, the walls were bare and other than the twenty-inch color television bolted to a table in the corner, there was little to say it was ours.
 

I quietly got undressed, the smell of sex still clung to me, reminding me how the whole night had gone to hell right after I had been with Charity. I wanted to imagine that I could have predicted that things were going to go south, but if I was being truthful there was no way I could have. Sometimes shit just happened, and you were taken along for a ride whether you were willing or not. It would definitely be a story to tell Dave. I wondered what had happened between him and Patricia. I kind of hoped he hadn’t gotten lucky. Patricia seemed nice, and we were in town for roughly forty-eight hours. There was no future for the two; she would have ended up getting hurt.

I didn’t know why I cared so much about her. She was as much a stranger to me as Charity was, and I’d had absolutely no qualms about taking what I wanted from her. But somehow sex with Charity didn’t feel the same, because she wasn’t innocent or a virgin. Patricia it seemed was both of those things. It bothered me that if Dave had his way with Patricia, both of those qualities would be stripped from her. The thought of that happening left a bad taste in my mouth.
 

“Hey Ransom,” Gabriel said, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Gab, dude, sorry I woke you up…”

He sat up in bed, his blue eyes were rimmed in red and purplish smudges were evident beneath them. It didn’t look like he had slept all night.

“You didn’t wake me, I was waiting for you.”

Now stripped to just my boxers, I moved to his cot. He propped himself up on the flimsy excuse for a bed that nobody, especially not someone with severe arthritis, should have had to sleep on.

“You should be sleeping, you have a show in a few hours man,” I said.
 

Gabriel shot me a sleepy smile. His eyes remained lidded as if he was too tired to hold them open all the way.
 

“I don’t need much sleep,” he said with a huge yawn. He cut his eyes to the aluminum door of the trailer then back to me.

“Did you get in much trouble with Pa?” he asked. His voice was so hushed that it was difficult to hear him.
 

“What do you mean?” I asked, wary.
 

I wasn’t about to let Gabriel know about anything that had happened. I never told anybody what Pa did to me, but definitely not Gabriel. He had more than enough to deal with, without adding my name to the list. So far, I had managed to keep a lid on things, so Gabriel was mostly in the dark.

Gab grimaced. “You know what I mean,” he said.
 

He locked his gaze on mine, resolutely. There was something in his stare that had me wondering exactly what he did know.

I shook my head a bit more vigorously than I needed to.

 
“Naw Gab, I really don’t. I mean I went out with Dave and you know…” I trailed off because there was no way I was going to detail my escapades of the evening with Gabriel. He was innocent, and I wanted to keep him that way, as long as possible.

“Really?” Gab said.
 

There was a touch of bitterness in his tone and it threw me completely off guard.

I squinted at him, then cocked my head to the side. There was no doubt he was fishing, but for what I wasn’t sure.

Gabriel drew himself up a little straighter, pressing his back against the cream-colored vinyl wall of the trailer.

“You don’t have to protect me all the time Ransom. I’m going to be sixteen in a couple of months. I know more than you think I do.”
 

I gave him a coy smile because I already knew that he had intel that normal people didn’t have. From the time he had been three, Gabriel had seemed to know things about stuff that he just had no business knowing. More times than I wanted to admit he had predicted that stuff was going to happen in the future. Somehow Gabriel could tap into some kind of bank that allowed him to glean information that he just shouldn’t have been able to know.

“I never said you didn’t know stuff Gab, I….” I started to say. He threw his hand up to stop me.

“I told Pa that you were in trouble, and that he needed to go get you and…”

“You told Pa,” I said with a note of incredulity in my tone.
 

I couldn’t understand why he had ratted me out like that. I trusted Gabriel to have my back more than I trusted myself, and now he had…

Gab gave a sharp nod of his head. His eyes flashed with uncharacteristic anger. I wasn’t sure how to process it.

“I told Pa that only he could get you out of the trouble you were in, and that if he laid a hand on you I would cancel the show.”
 

Gab held my eyes in a stare that showed more strength than I had ever given him credit for.
 

“What do you mean?” I said.

I already knew exactly what Gab was saying, but I couldn’t seem to wrap my mind around how he seemed to already know everything that I had gone to great lengths to hide.

Gabriel released a mirthless laugh.
 

“Come on Ransom I’ve known for too long what Pa is like and how he…”
 

He swallowed a few times and his eyes glazed with tears. I wanted to make them go away because he wasn’t supposed to know the truth. I wanted to keep what little bit of innocence that remained in him, preserved and safe. If Gabriel didn’t know about the ugliness of life and our father, then it somehow felt less real. Gabriel’s ignorance meant I could compartmentalize my life. Whatever went on behind closed doors didn’t need to tarnish everything else in my world.
 

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” I said, clinging to my denial, the only thread holding the fabric of my lies together.
 

“Ransom, it’s okay, I’m going to make sure he never hurts you again. I just wish I’d had the courage to stand up to him before now,” Gab said.
 

A single tear trailed down his pale cheek. It was almost too much for me to take.

Then it came, sudden, cresting over me like a
 
shockwave of fury that was propelled by gut-wrenching fear. I couldn’t allow Gabriel to protect me. It was my job to keep him safe. I needed him to see that, before he ended up getting hurt.

“You can’t protect me,” I hollered.
 

Even as the words burst from my lips, I regretted them. I had never raised my voice to Gabriel, ever. From the way he shrank away from me he was as surprised by my outburst as I was.

But as quickly as he had drawn in on himself, he straightened his spine and met my eyes with pure defiance. Once again I was thrown at this shift in his behavior.

“I’m not scared of you, or Pa either. I’m going to do what’s right.”
 

His eyes narrowed to slits.
 

“Don’t even try to pretend that you wouldn’t do the same for me Ransom. I know how you protect me, take care of me. I know how to do it because you taught me how. I don’t care what you say or do. I’m going to let Pa know that I’m not going to allow it to happen anymore. I may be Gabriel Sanders the boy wonder, but I’m also Gab your brother, and there’s nothing I won’t do to make sure Pa never hurts you again. I’m not going to let him make you go away like he did Mama.”

 
It killed me that he still believed that Ma was alive, a lie that Pa had forced me to tell him. But worse than that, was how he still thought she was somewhere out there in the world, and would someday come back to us even though he believed that she had abandoned us years before.

And there it was, the pain that had gouged strips from my heart but that I had managed to hold inside was sliced wide open all over again. It felt like my throat had been cut and I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to think about her, I couldn’t think about how she had died. Left us with a monster. I jumped to my feet without a word, tugging on my t-shirt and jeans in seconds.

Then I was outside, barefoot and running. I stared up at the moon, once again wondering how anything could be beautiful when everything in my life had gone to shit. I had done everything in my power to keep Gab safe and under the radar. But now that he had decided to stir up a hornets nest, there was no way he wasn’t going to get stung.