Reaching Retribution (The Prophesized Series) (3 page)

I g
et out of my mom’s arms and sit down against her grave. Tears are still pouring out of my eyes, but it’s not as uncontrollable anymore. Hiccupping, I start. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Not just right now, but all the time. When you died, I wouldn’t let myself get close to anyone. I pushed everyone away. I locked my heart away.”

“That’s not going to g
et you back into your body. You have to dig deeper than that.” I bite my lip and look back at my mom. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. “Say what’s in here.” She points to my heart.

“I’m mad at you.”

“Good, keep going.”

“I was supposed to die in that accident. Not you. Me! Do you know what that does to someone? I woke up
after the accident, strapped to a bunch of IVs, alone in a hospital room. I had no family to go to. I had no friends to help me. I had no one. I was suddenly more alone than I’ve ever been in my life. Do you know what it’s like to have no one? No one wanted me. And the whole time, I had to live with the fact that the only person who loved me was dead because she saved me.

“I should be grateful that you saved me, but I’m not. That car was headed for me, mom. You looked me in the eyes right as you jerked the car in a different direction. I watched the world blur outside the window as the car flipped. Do you know how many times I walked into Jane’s bathroom and thought about how easy it would be to swallow a bunch of pills and make everything be
tter? I thought about suicide, Mom!” I lean back and wrap my arms around my legs. I’ve never revealed that to anyone before.

“Now, I have Colton. I love him so much that it scares me. He’s makes me feel desired and knows how to comfort me when I’m upset. He can make me laugh when I’m
sad or angry. He’s always worrying about me, which is annoying but nice at the same time. He’s too good for me. I’ll never be enough for him. He deserves someone who can focus solely on him, but I feel like I have to live up to this prophecy thing or everyone will be so disappointed.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m spread out too thin. I can’t give Colton what he needs, because I’m so focused on everyone else
. Someday he’s going to realize he can do better and leave me. He’s going to want someone who can be there for him when he needs it. He’s going to want someone who can control her magic and is always in control of her life. He’s going to want someone else.”

“There’s more.”

I look at her. She looks the same as she did when she was alive. Her chestnut hair is still cut in a short bob. Deep blue eyes look back at me. We look nothing alike. I apparently take after the Doctor in that department.

“I’m afraid that I’m going to screw all this up. Claire’s dead because of me.
Colton died because of me. What if someone else dies? I won’t be able to live with that. Every day, I want to run away from all this. I want to grab Colton and run off. I want to live without fear. I’m tired of being surrounded by violence and death all the time.”

“You have to let it out, honey.”

“Fine,” I stand up. “You want me to let it out? I hate that I have these powers. I hate that I’m the chosen one. I hate that dad was never there. I hate that you left me last year. I hate that I feel like I’m never going to be good enough for anyone. I hate that I can’t stop worrying about those around me. I hate that Liam gave me this stupid pendant because if I actually die today, he does too. I hate that Dravin is always one step ahead of me, and he has a plan while I don’t. I hate that I get these visions. I hate that all I see is death, and I hate myself for attracting so much trouble and endangering everyone I love.”

Mom
just stares at me, knowing there’s more I have to say. I start pacing back and forth, trying to collect my thoughts. I feel like there are so many things running through my mind right now that I don’t know what to say.

“
Despite all that hate, I wouldn’t change anything, because I love all those people. I love everyone I’ve met since I’ve become a mage. I finally have a family again. Every day I wake up and miss you, but I know you had to die to give me something to fight for. I want to make you proud, and I’m afraid that I haven’t done that yet,” I whisper that last part.

My mom s
miles at me. “There you go.” She moves toward me and wraps her arms around me again. “Now, you have to admit that you are good enough for that boy who loves you more than life itself. You have to admit that you are strong enough to do this. You have to tell me that and believe it yourself.”

“I can’t,” I whisper.

“Then you can’t go back.”

I could always tell when mom was lying to me and right now, she’s being sincere.
“But I’m neither of those things.”

“Why can’t you see
what everyone else sees in you, honey? Your soulmate thinks
you
are
too good for him. Everyone else thinks you two are perfect for each other. Tom is so proud that Colton found someone like you. I’m so glad that you found someone like him. You two are meant for each other. They wouldn’t give you a soulmate who was too good for you. You’re each other’s perfect half, and you are more than strong enough for this. How many times have you been captured? How many times have you been beaten and broken? How many times have you come back from all that? How many times have you said I’m not going to give up?”

Everything she’s saying makes sense, but I still don’t want to believe it. It’s hard to
let go of so many insecurities. It’s not like a switch that you can just move over to make everything better. “Can I tell you that I think that I could someday be good enough for him and that I have the potential to be strong enough for all this?”

“Do you honestly believe that? With all your heart?”

I know Colton loves me, and I know I love him. Maybe once all this war stuff is over I can feel more confident in us. I can finally be good enough for him. Yes, I do believe that part. Am I strong enough? At the moment, I don’t think so, but everyone else seems to believe I am. I can’t let their faith be misguided. I’ve already proven myself in training and in actual combat. With a little more practice and skill, I do think I can be strong enough.

“Yes,” I whisper. My mom tightens her arms around me.
I feel weird. My body starts to vibrate. What’s going on?

“I’m so proud of you, Ryanne. Don’t ever question that. I’ll always be he
re for you. All you have to do is ask, and I’ll listen. I wouldn’t change anything that has happened. I love you so much.”

I gasp as pain shoots through my body. I close my eyes and pray for this to be quick. This is the end. As darkness envelop
es me, I feel my body being pulled in every direction. I must be going to Hell, because this pain is unbearable. If I could, I would be screaming, but my mouth won’t cooperate.

“Don’t fight it.”

“Colton, staring at her isn’t going to bring her back,” Emma says. I tear my eyes from Ryanne and look up at Emma. Her blue eyes are glossed over from her own tears. She has red splotches under her red, puffy eyes from crying. Ryanne was her best friend, but right now, she doesn’t understand.

“She can’t be gone.” I shake my head and clench my jaw, trying to stop the tears again. “She can’t be.” Emma crawls over to me and rests her head
on my shoulder, comforting me.

“
She changed the course of history, guys. Don’t you understand that?” Incendia says. “She’s supposed to be here at the end. She’s supposed stop Dravin. I’ve never seen anyone do what she did earlier. She fought all the men that we’d been fighting for hours in like ten minutes! No one else can do that.”

“We are not going to try and find someone to replace her,” I gro
wl.

“There’s no one to replace her,” Incend
ia says. “I was supposed to die; not her.”

“Incendia, Ryanne saw that vision for a reason. She was supposed to stop you
r death. Be thankful you get another chance. Don’t dwell on what can’t be changed,” Bragden whispers to her.

Don’t dwell on what can’t be changed.
Does he understand how difficult that is? It feels like my heart is literally breaking. I feel like part of me is missing. Ryanne filled a void that I didn’t know I had before I met her. She broke down all barriers and filled my life with laughter, happiness, love…she filled the void with her love. Now that it’s gone, I’m left with nothing but grief and pain.

I look across the room at Liam, who’s sitting with his head against the wall and a hand across his chest. He can barely breathe. Natalie is frantically trying to calm him, but without Ryanne
here, there’s nothing she can do.

Ryanne was the glue in our group. She kept everyone together. I can already feel a rift
forming between us. Tom’s angry. Bragden’s a bundle of emotions. He’s upset over Ryanne, mad at Enrique, confused over Incendia, and worried about his brother. Larkin and Kyril don’t know what to do. Larkin’s pacing the room, trying to remain calm. Liam’s dying. Natalie distressed, trying to help him. Emma won’t let David console her. Logan’s frustrated that, yet again, he couldn’t save her when she needed it.

Me? I can’t feel anything. It’s like my body
has shut off and refuses to let me know my soulmate is dead. Liam gasps loudly and leans forward. We all turn and look at him, confused at the sudden change.

“Something’s happening,” he grunts.
My eyes move back to Ryanne again. She’s lying on her back in the middle of the hotel room. Her dark hair is fanned out around her head messily from the fall. The contrast between her pale skin and dark hair is more apparent. The streak of blood that dripped out of her mouth has dried. The wound on her stomach is still bleeding onto the carpet.

Liam takes a deep breath. We all turn and look at him. He can breathe? He crawls away from Natalie and moves
toward Ryanne. Something is obviously going on. When he nears her, Ryanne’s body begins shaking. What? Everyone takes a step forward, wanting to know what is happening. Her body seems to inflate with oxygen. She gasps and sucks in air and then starts coughing. More blood comes out of her mouth. She’s alive? The room is silent around me. How is this possible? Black liquid starts oozing out of the stomach wound. Logan pushes past everyone and tries healing her again. His hands give off a faint glow as he tries to close the wound.

I shoot up when I see the skin start to close. It
’s working. I move Ryanne’s head so I can see her, but her eyes are closed. She still looks like death. I push her hair away from her face. Logan pulls his hands away and looks her over. She hasn’t opened her eyes, but she’s breathing. Small shakes still take over her body. How is she alive? She gasps again as her body goes still. I stare at her waiting for some sign of movement. Her chest begins to slowly rise and rise with each breath. She’s alive.

“I guess she really is too stubborn for death,” Emma says.

Tom hands me a wet washcloth. I move Ryanne toward me and clean the blood of her face, turning the white washcloth red. We’ll have a lot of explaining to do when we check out of this room. I lift Ryanne up and lay her down on the bed. She’s still so pale. Her body looks so fragile right now.

Turning around, I look at the room. “How is this possible? She was dead. You all saw it. Logan couldn’t heal her. How is she alive?
”

Mr. Howick pushes off the wall and looks at me. “I’ve heard stories about when a person dies before their time, they are given another chance. In every person’s life, there is something
they want to change, say, or do differently. Ryanne wasn’t supposed to die today, so she got another chance. I don’t know where she went or what she did, but she had to do something. If she wasn’t able to do it, she would have died permanently.”

“You couldn’t have
mentioned that before?” I ask. It would have been nice to know that there was a small chance that she could come back from this.

“There was no point
. It wasn’t a given that she would return. There was always a possibility that she wouldn’t have come back. Not a whole lot of people are willing to change that late in the game.”

“So what do we do?”

“Wait for her to wake up. There’s not a whole lot we can do right now,” Tom suggests.

“I hate waiting.”

*****

Opening my eyes, I roll over onto my side. I’m back at the hotel room. Alive. With a gasp, I shoot up. I’m alive. Colton jolts awake and gets into a defensive stance. When he sees me, he reaches out and jerks me to him, more forceful than necessary. However, that’s exactly what I need right now. I bury myself in his arms and cry into his shoulder. I did it! I made it back. His arms tighten around me when he feels my tears on his chest.

Burying his face in my hair, he starts murmuring something.
I can feel his lips moving against my skin, but I can’t understand what he’s saying. Leaning back, I look up at him. “What?”

“Don’t you ever do that to me again, Ry. I love you so much. Don’t you dare scare me like that.” Before I can say anything, he crushes his lips to mine.
I lean forward and kiss him back just as passionately. I know that I look like crap and don’t feel much better, but I don’t care. I almost died for good. I would have never seen him again. I thought that I would never get to see him again.

When I hear the sound of a door opening, I pull back and look around the room. “It’s okay. It was just David and Emma,” Colton says.

I turn back and look at Colton. He’s watching me. Normally, I would squirm under his gaze, but today I don’t. I lean forward and kiss him lightly again. “I’m sorry.”

“I love you too. I’m sorry I didn’t say it back before.”
Colton wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his chest. I curl into this side. I can hear his heart beating in his chest—the heart that belongs to me. He holds my heart and I his. I wrap my arm around his waist and pull him closer to me. “There was nothing I could do, Ry. I watched you die right in front of me again, but I couldn’t do anything this time. I couldn’t,” he choked. I roll over and prop my arms on his chest.

“
I couldn’t let her die, Colton. She’s Bragden’s soulmate.”

“What?”

“James told me. I was given that vision for a reason which means that Incendia has a bigger role in all this. We need her alive.”

“We need you alive too, Ryanne,” he tells me.
“You’re
my
soulmate.”

“Which
is why I’m here,” I say.

Colton reaches forward and tucks a loose curl behind my ear. “How
are
you here?”

“I overca
me some things,” I vaguely say.

“I understand,” Colton says. I’ll
reveal everything to him one day, but for now, I think that I should keep it to myself. I start to crawl out of bed, I really do need to take a shower, but Colton pulls me back. “Just let me hold you for a little bit.”

I lean back down and rest against his chest. I’ll never walk away from him again.

Never.

After my shower, I call everyone back into the hotel room. They are all sitting around waiting for me to start talking. I’m trying to ignore the large blood stain in the middle of the carpet. I don’t need to be reminded that I died recently…again. However, my eyes keep landing on it. I died in that spot. In that exact spot…I pulled a dagger out of my skin.

I tear my eyes away from the
spot and move toward the door. Before my gaze gets there, I meet a pair of grey eyes staring at me. Without thinking, I run across the room and launch myself at Liam. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hug him too me. A second later, I feel his arms wrap around my waist and my feet are lifted off the ground.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper to him. I don’t know what he went through specifically while I was…preoccupied on another plane…but I know that he was probably affected.
Claire told me that if I didn’t make it back Liam would have died.

Putting me
back on the ground, Liam crouches down so that he’s at eyelevel with me. “Please don’t put us through that again,” he whispers. I’m aware that everyone is watching us, but I don’t care. “There are too many people here that love you, and none of us like witnessing that.” I can see the sadness in his eyes. My eyes move back to the bloodstain on the floor again, but Liam grabs my chin and makes me look at him.

“
I don’t care what happens to me, Ryanne. I accepted the consequences when I gave you that pendant, but look around you. Look at all these people that just watched you die.” When Liam lets go of my chin, I glance around the room. Like I suspected, everyone is watching us—all with relieved looks on their faces. “You keep this group together,” he whispers to me. I return my attention to him, and bite my lip, trying to keep my tears down.

Stepping forward again, I hug him. Liam always knows what to say and what I need to hear. He’s amazing like that. I pull back, but before I step away, I place a small kiss on his cheek. He gives me a surprised look, but stands back up and
moves beside Natalie.

Trying to lighten the mood, I give him a small smile. “
At least I still haven’t gotten shot again.”

“Don’t jinx it,”
he mumbles, but I see the small smile he’s trying to hide.

I start to head back to Colton when someone else grabs me and hugs me. Instantly recognizing Bragden, I hug him back.
Because of me, he almost lost his brother. I apologize to him like I did Liam, but he instantly starts shaking his head. He doesn’t say anything though. He doesn’t have to. I can read everything I need to from his expression.

Letting go of me, I finally make it across the room and back to my soulmate.
“Ok, I think we need to leave here. We need to get back to finding other mages. We need to go back to the plan.”

“Ryanne, you just died,” Emma says.

“And now I’m alive. I’ve died before, you all know that. I’m back, it’s all good. Let’s move on from that. We need to stick with the plan.”

“
You don’t want to rest?” Tom asks.

“No, I don’t need to rest. I’ve slept long enough. I’m f
ine. My magic is healing me as we speak. We need to get a move on. Claire told me what would have happened if I actually died, and I am not going to let that happen, so we need to go and put the future back on its intended track.”

“You spoke with Claire again?” Tom asks me.

“Claire, Lily, and my mom, but that’s beside the point.”

“Lily?” Colton asks, “Lily’s dead?”

“No, I helped her. She wasn’t supposed to die yet either. She’s probably in the hospital right now. Anyway, stop distracting me. The point is I know what will happen if we don’t continue on the intended course. I’m not going to mention specifics, but you won’t like it. Like Incendia said before I…stepped in front of the dagger, we need more mages. We need more help.”