Ready To Love Again (2 page)

“Dad’s home!” Tony yelled. Chase heard his son thump down the stairs before Tony turned the corner to the kitchen and stuck out his hand for a fist bump.

“Hey there, slugger. How was your day?” He ruffled Tony’s wild hair and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead.

“We went with Aunt Gina to fly kites out on the beach, and mine flew the highest,” Tony boasted while he peeked at Liz, who was standing in the doorway.

Chase waited for the quarrel that was sure to follow her brother’s bragging. It never came. Instead, she rolled her eyes and walked toward Gina’s room, ignoring them both. Chase never knew when a small infraction would send her into a tantrum. She had been eight years old when their mother died and had the hardest time coping with the loss, but he’d seen a subtle change over the last few months.

“So did you save any lives today, Dad?” Tony asked with excitement in his voice.
 

Chase cringed at the question. He’d vowed a long time ago to keep his work out of his personal life, so he smiled and nodded.

“Sure did, slugger.” He had an appendectomy earlier in the day, so it wasn’t a complete lie.

“Totally cool!” Tony grabbed an apple then ran out of the room.

“Mmmm, I think it’s almost done,” Gina said as she swept into the kitchen and opened the oven.

“Smells good. Whatcha cookin’, good-lookin’?” Chase lifted the lid off the pot on the stove while his sister pulled out what looked like homemade French bread.

“Spaghetti. Daniel’s recipe. He should be here in a minute.”

Gina swatted his hands away from the pot and grabbed a spoon, stirring the thick red sauce. Her long, dark hair spilled over her shoulder, and she held it back while she dipped another spoon in the sauce and tasted it with a sigh of satisfaction.
 

“What do you need me to do?” he asked.

She pointed to a head of romaine, so he got to work. He pulled a knife out of the rack and placed it on the counter while he rummaged in the cupboard for the cutting board.

Gina looked between him and the knife and made an exasperated noise. “How many times do I have to tell you that you never cut leafy vegetables with a knife?” She walked over to Chase and shoved him out of her way. Pulling off the leaves one at a time, she showed him how she thought he should do it. “You tear it. That way it won’t turn brown.”

Chase rolled his eyes and bumped her hip, nudging her aside. “I think I can manage making a salad, Gina.” Just to irritate her more, he picked up the knife and went to work, ignoring her instructions.

She huffed and turned to drain the noodles. “Yes, we all know how well you function in the kitchen,” she mumbled under her breath.

“I heard that.”

From then on, they worked in harmony while she told him about the new restaurant her fiancé, Daniel, had procured in the Valley, but it was obvious she was trying to avoid the significance of the day. Gina, Daniel, and his mother had all called him several times under the guise of filling him in on upcoming events or the children’s schedules, but he saw it for what it was—they were checking up on him.

Gina shuffled out of the kitchen when the doorbell rang, and Chase poked his head into the entry in time to see her jump on Daniel. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her hands thrust into his brown hair, and she peppered him with kisses. He struggled to hold her weight while gripping a handled paper bag in one hand and a half a dozen roses in the other.

“Hold on there, sweetheart.” Daniel laughed.

“I hope you know what you’re getting into, Daniel.” Chase teased from the kitchen.

“Hey, man. You mind taking these?” He held out the items in his hands. Once Chase had retrieved them, Daniel’s free hands wrapped around Gina’s tiny waist, and he kissed her with enthusiasm. Dismissing the pang in his chest, Chase called his children down for dinner.

When they were all seated around the dining room table, Chase asked, “So when’s the wedding?” He posed the same question every time Gina and Daniel were together. It was expected. They had been engaged for almost four years, but the wedding plans were postponed when Terri died.
 

“We’re getting married on Labor Day weekend,” Gina said with a big grin.

It took Chase a moment to process what she’d said. “Really?” he asked in surprise. “That’s fantastic.” He stood to give his sister a hug and then reached to shake Daniel’s hand.

“Does that mean Daniel’s moving in, too?” Tony’s eyes were wide with excitement until Liz punched him in the arm.

“No, dummy. It means Aunt Gina is moving out.”
 

Chase didn’t have the heart to reprimand Liz for her comment when he saw the tears in her eyes. This transition would be hardest on her because Liz had grown attached to Gina since Chase’s emotional shutdown after Terri died.

“I’ll still be around,” Gina said. “Daniel doesn’t live far away, and I’ll pick you up from school and hang out with you when your dad’s working.”
 

She smiled at Liz and Tony, but Chase observed the guilt in her eyes. An uncomfortable silence filled the room until Tony, oblivious to the tension, let out a long hum of pleasure.
 

“Mmmmm, this is really good spaghetti, Aunt Gina.” He shoveled in another mouthful of noodles, sucking them in and letting them slap his face around his mouth.
 

“Mom’s was better,” Liz whispered.

“Elizabeth,” Chase reprimanded, “that was rude. You need to apologize.”

Gina shook her head and held up her hands. “It’s okay.” She turned back to Liz with a smile. “I know it’s a little different than your mom used to make. Sometimes new things take getting used to.”

Although Chase understood that Gina was trying to diffuse a tense situation, Liz’s disrespect toward her aunt was bad mannered and needed to be corrected. “Elizabeth, you need to apologize to your aunt,” he said again, his voice a little sterner than before.

Liz glared at her father from across the table, but Chase arched his eyebrow and waited for her to comply. He wondered how an eleven-year-old girl could look so menacing.

“Did you forget today was the day Mom died?” she asked with venom in her voice.

“I remember what today is,” Chase answered. Her increasing agitation made him wary, and he braced himself for what she would say next.

She leaned forward to continue her interrogation. “Then why didn’t you say anything? Don’t you love her anymore?”

“Of course I love her.”

“Then why don’t you talk about her? You spent all day at work, and then you came home and pretended she never existed.” Liz fell back against the chair and folded her arms across her chest. “If you loved her, then you’d have stayed home and thought about her all day like I did.”

“Except when we went out and flew kites with Aunt Gina,” Tony said as he shoveled more noodles in his mouth.

She shot him a scowl that would have made a grown man cringe.
 

Tony looked back at her with innocent eyes, unfazed by her hostility. “What?”

“Shut up!” she spat.

Chase brought his hand down on the table. “Elizabeth Marie, that kind of disrespect is not allowed in this home. You need to apologize to Gina and Tony, right now.”

Liz glared at her father with tears in her eyes. Standing, she threw her napkin on the table. Her long blond hair whipped in her face when she turned and bolted for her room.

“I hate you!” she screamed behind her as her feet pounded up the stairs. “I wish it was you that died!” Her bedroom door slammed with a loud bang that shook the windows all the way downstairs.

Chase let out a deep sigh and ran his fingers through his hair, scrubbing at his scalp in frustration. Gina stood and went after Liz. “I’ll talk to her. She’s just upset about the move.”

Nodding, Chase glanced at his son. Tony’s lips were turned down in a frown, and he was picking at the food on his plate.

“You okay, slugger?” Chase asked.
 

Tony released a long breath before he looked up at his father. “I don’t remember Mom. I know her hair was blond, and she had blue eyes like Liz and me, but I can’t remember what her voice sounded like.” Tears welled in his eyes, and he wiped them away on the back of his sleeve.
 

Chase pulled his son into his lap and stroked his back. Daniel, ever considerate, gathered up the plates and disappeared into the kitchen.

“I know, Tony,” Chase said. “Sometimes I forget, too, but we have pictures and even videos you can watch anytime you’d like.”

Tony sniffed and nodded before looking up at his father. “Do you think Mom’s watching us? My friend Jonathan told me his grandma watches over him from heaven. Do you think Mom can see how much we miss her?”

The longing in his little boy’s words pierced Chase’s heart. He squeezed him tighter and then rested his chin on the top of his head.

“Nona Mia says that we never lose the ones we love,” Chase whispered. “They’re up in heaven preparing a place for us until we can be together again. It wouldn’t really be heaven if they couldn’t see the ones they love.”

Tony’s little body relaxed with his father’s words. “I love you, Dad,” he whispered.

“I love you, too, Tony.”

Gina returned to the room and leaned against the doorframe. “Can we talk?”
 

“Sure. Tony, why don’t you go watch some TV?”

“Or read a book,” Gina suggested, giving Chase a challenging look.
 

He shrugged as Tony climbed down and ran for the family room.

“Liz will be in her room for the rest of the evening. She knows she shouldn’t have said what she did, but she’s too prideful to admit she was wrong.”
 

Chase nodded while he digested Gina’s words.
 

“How long does this have to go on before you consider counseling?”

Before he could wave off her attack, a sweet voice filtered through the house from the television in the family room. He closed his eyes and listened while his wife’s declarations of love washed over him.

“I’ll go make him turn it off.” Gina turned, but Chase grabbed her arm to stop her.

“No, leave it. He needs to hear her voice.”

Standing, Chase walked to the doorway. An image of Terri was moving across the flat screen in the family room. She looked stunning in her long white gown, her beautiful smile turned toward his younger self while she spoke her vows. Warmth rushed through his body as he listened to her soft words. Her promise to love and cherish him was seared upon his heart. Chase’s chest tightened, and he decided it wouldn’t be good idea to let Tony see him upset. He needed time to himself. Grabbing his windbreaker off the back of the couch, he headed for the door.

“Chase?” Gina pulled him around to face her. “Are you okay?”

He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I need to take a walk. I’ll be back in a while.”

She pulled him down for a hug, and her embrace soothed his aching heart, easing his pain.

“It’ll be okay. Things will get better, but—”

Chase felt his composure begin to falter, so he held up a hand to stop her mid-sentence. This rejection hurt her, he knew, but he couldn’t stand there and listen. He slipped out the back door before she could try again.
 

Guilt threatened to overwhelm him, but he continued on his way, pushing open the back patio gate that led to the beach. Gina had forfeited her career for two years to devote herself to his family after Terri died. With Chase’s insistence, she’d eventually taken a part-time job working at the Monterey Bay Aquarium as their events coordinator. One day, Daniel had accidentally let it slip that the aquarium had offered her a full-time position as their wedding coordinator, but she’d declined. Even though she wouldn’t admit it, Chase knew Gina had turned down the offer so she could continue to pick up the kids from school and take them to their various activities. Beyond providing for his family’s basic needs, she was also the emotional support he’d needed over the past three years. Despite all she’d sacrificed for him, he couldn’t listen to her at the moment.

Chase kicked off his shoes and walked down the stone steps to the beach. It was a beautiful evening with a cool breeze. The sun lingered on the horizon, casting a streak of light off the water. His toes sank into the cool sand. Slipping his windbreaker onto his shoulders, he breathed in the salty air and let the sound of the waves crashing against the sand calm him.

Terri? Can you hear me?
He felt foolish, but Tony’s words had shaken him. Chase needed to reach out to her any way he could. 
Happy anniversary, baby.

Looking out over the ocean, he tried to regain some semblance of control. The wedding band he wore as a constant reminder of his love seemed to sear his skin when he turned it around his finger.

I’ve worn this ring for thirteen years. Gina tells me it’s time to let go and that I need to move on with my life. I don’t know if I can.
 

Chase sat in the sand and buried his face in his hands until the sinking sun reminded him he needed to get back to his children. With a heavy heart, he stood and turned back toward his home.