Return to Gray Harbor (3 page)

Michael remembered that when he and Jesse were children, their dad would take them fishing. Michael was a little scared at first, especially of the bait — of all the things to be scared of! Jesse made fun of him terribly, but his dad didn’t. He just explained gently that there was nothing to be afraid of — the bait wasn’t going to bite and hooking them was simple. Despite his temper, his dad could be oddly gentle sometimes, which was strange for such a big, burly kind of a guy. His dad was right about fishing. Since that first trip, fishing had become one of Michael’s favorite pastimes.

It’s funny, for a guy who didn’t want to spend his life filleting fish, he sure spent a lot of his free time fishing. Even in New York. His only vacations were to go out to the Hudson Valley and fish. It was always a trek but afterwards, Michael always felt relaxed and somehow more balanced, something he seemed to be lacking in the other parts of his life. Maybe life wasn’t all bad in Gray Harbor. Michael had some good times in the past, but maybe the sadness of Jesse’s death clouded things a bit — that and Michael’s blow-out with his father over moving to New York.

New York. New York was great… or it would be if Michael ever got to enjoy it. Michael had been burning the candle at both ends ever since he finished his MBA. Life wasn’t the same anymore. And taking a “vacation” or a leave had been something he never did before. Sure he went away, but always just for a weekend, and often he was fielding calls, even when he was out fishing on a boat. But he knew his time at his company was coming to an end soon, so he figured why not take a break. He decided to help the family on the Goldfarb Funds’ dime, while he was still employed by the company. He had so much vacation time built up that if they did let him go, they’d not only have to pay him a severance but they’d have to pay him for seven years of missed vacations, he thought.

With the economic downturn, things had taken a turn for the worse… and Michael was on the high end of the pay scale as a Managing Director and on the low-end of bringing in the money lately. Although he was in charge of his group, he didn’t always have the final say on the decisions these days, which is why he was concerned. It may seem ridiculous to get rid of one of your most senior people… but he seemed to have lost his touch, his pulse on the market, at least according to them. Or maybe the money just didn’t matter anymore.

He had a nice nest egg saved now… but he didn’t want to permanently leave until he figured things out. He also didn’t want to make it easy on them. He had to remind himself how he came to be the director when he was only twenty-six years old. He replaced the last director and turned things around at the hedge fund. Within two years, they had become one of the most well-known hedge funds in the country. Michael had appeared on the cover of Trader Magazine annually for being so successful.

But enough of that for now — he had to focus. The next three weeks he hoped to help his family, reconnect with his father, figure out his next steps, and then go back to New York, hopefully with a plan of action. When he listed it all like that it seemed unrealistic... but he needed to make it happen. Maybe he’d take a completely different direction with his life, while he was at it. Maybe he’d do something that mattered, something that would do good for a change. He chuckled to himself. Of course he knew things might not happen quite that neatly. That was always hard for him, since he was an organizer and a planner. He loved making to-do lists and checking things off. Perhaps not the personality one would expect for a top trader. He wasn’t a risk taker, but a calculated decision maker.

“Hey buddy, you still there?!” Jonah was waving a hand in front of Michael’s face. “Mom just asked you something.”

“Huh, oh yeah, I’m sorry. I was thinking that things have changed so much since I’ve been here last,” said Michael.

“What, like all your gray hairs and Jonah’s voice,” Judy said, as she let out a laugh.

Michael reached over and gave her one of his signature noogies. “Hey stop it, you’re going to mess it all up.”

What was it with his siblings and their hair? Geez.

“Okay, kids, settle down,” said Marty. “What I was saying, Mikey, is I am so glad they let you get away at work. Will you have to take a lot of calls while you are here?”

“A few,” he lied. “But hopefully not too many. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a break—“ Michael was cut off by Annie’s snide tone.

“So, how long do we have the pleasure of your presence… one day, two days?”

Michael made a face at his older sister. “Three weeks.”

When did she get so resentful? All through high school, Annie was off being irresponsible with Tom while Michael was stuck at home helping. He understood he had been gone for a long time, but he just didn’t get it.

His mother perked up a little, “Three weeks! Well, that’s great. I mean, of course we wish you could be here even longer, but three weeks will be a great help. As you can see, we’ve let a few things slide around the house, since your father got sick.” She made a gesture with her hands and looked around the room before saying, “And the bills have been stacking up. With me running the market and the household, it’s been a lot to take on. And Annie helps as much as she can but with the kids and her husband, it’s a lot.”

Michael hadn’t seen the kids in a long while, or Tom, for that matter. Come to think of it, he hadn’t received one of their traditional Christmas cards with the awful matching sweaters in a few years. Michael looked around then and saw that his mother’s statement was … well, it was an understatement. He looked up at the ceilings and saw some water damage. The place needed a fresh coat of paint, and frankly… well, a good dusting. His mother had never let the house get this out of hand when they were growing up, and they were a rowdy crew. He’d never been terribly handy like his brother Jesse, but he was sure he could help somehow. He started to feel a little guilty all of the sudden. How could he have let this happen? He was making millions and he let his parents’ home get to this point. He felt awful. He would help: he’d do whatever it took to make things right.

At that moment, Annie said, “You know, Michael, we could most use your help at the market. You know math was never my strong point and Mom and I haven’t been able to keep up with everything there. I just feel like we’re so behind on things there. Maybe you can help us get on track?”

His mother added, “Oh, and the bills for the house, too. You know where everything is—the dining room table, as usual. The checkbook, everything is there. We should have enough to cover things, but to be honest, since your father’s stroke, I haven’t really done much with it all.”

Bills, organizing, now that sounded like something he could handle, and maybe he could pay someone to do the repairs or enlist his younger siblings. Not much of a vacation, but since when did he enjoy vacationing?

“That sounds great, I’d be happy to help take care of all that. And maybe Judy, Jonah, and I can make a plan for how we can maybe tackle some of the repairs around the house, too. How about it, Mom?”

At that moment, Marty got up from her seat and went around the table to give Michael a squeeze.

“I knew you’d come help us out if we really needed it, Mikey. We’re so glad to have you here… and you know what? I think your Dad will be happy to see you came back to help us out.”

Marty looked at Michael and seemed a bit choked up and had a faraway look in her eyes.

“Mom?” Michael said. He repeated himself. “Mom?”

“Oh, yes, I’m sorry dear, I was lost in thought. Why don’t we get you settled? Judy, come now, chop chop! Why don’t you walk Mikey up to his room and make sure you grab him some towels from the linen closet so he can wash up before dinner. It’s going to be simple tonight, just some clam chowder.”

That odd look on her face worried Michael. He got up and let Judy lead the way. They walked out into the main hall and walked up the long staircase. It still had the same faded green carpet that had been there when Michael was in high school. As they walked up the stairs to the room Michael would be sharing with Jonah for the next three weeks, it hit him. Michael could pay to get work done on the house, maybe a renovation was in order — it wouldn’t make up for all the years he had lost with his family, but maybe it would make things just a little bit easier for them. Besides, what was a few thousand dollars anyway?

What was a few thousand dollars indeed. After a night of catching up with the family over his mother’s New England Clam Chowder, a salad, and delicious carrot cake, Michael went to bed not really knowing what the next day would hold. His mother suggested he check out the ‘home office’ in the morning and maybe take care of some of the bills for her while she headed over to Malone’s Market, and then later, they could both go to the hospital to see his father. He had no idea what he was getting himself into.

He had thought the house was in disrepair, but compared to his parents’ finances, the house was looking like it was a pristine mansion all of a sudden. There were missed mortgage payments and utilities close to being shut off. Jonah’s tuition bill was due in a few weeks, and despite his scholarship, it looked pricey.  There was no way his parents’ checking account could handle this. And it looked like James had taken a second mortgage out on the house. By noon, Michael had spent seventeen thousand dollars of his own money bailing them out. He could never tell his mother or his father, they had too much pride, but it had to be done.  And frankly, he had been making over a million dollars a year for the past few years at the hedge fund, not including his bonuses, and he barely spent a penny because he was so busy and so focused on making more money.

He had this dream of making a lot of money before forty and retiring. He had made some great investments and accrued a lot of money the past few years since his MBA, but he lived pretty modestly. His colleagues always made fun of him because he was the only one who didn’t have a car and who still bought his suits at Men’s Wearhouse. The suits were actually still quite nice but couldn’t be compared to custom suits or to what his friends were buying at the major design houses in New York. He dressed well; he just didn’t think he needed to flaunt his money. He lived in a small alcove studio he had purchased years before in the West Village and frankly, he didn’t accumulate much because there would be nowhere to put it!

His parents had always taught him to live within his means, but it seemed that he lived far below the means of someone who was a millionaire. But despite what he saw now in his parents’ checkbook, what he had learned growing up stuck with him. Those lessons were a good thing, now he could spend that money on something that mattered more than a sports car or fancy clothes — his parents. And in terms of his job… if he lost his job now he could probably retire if he lived modestly. He’d go crazy if he did, but he knew he could do it if he wanted to, or if he or had to.

He looked around.  He had accomplished a lot since he woke up at six that morning. By noon, the bills were paid, old mail and junk mail had been shredded and bagged, and the dining room looked at least a little more organized. No one would be dining in there anytime soon, but at the very least they’d be able to find what they needed. The rest of the house, on the other hand, could use some work. He looked out the window and saw that Judy was outside mowing the lawn. He waved and she waved back. Judy was hard at work, but where was Jonah? He walked outside and decided to chat with Judy before looking for Jonah.

“Hey, sis,” he said, as he walked out of the screen door in the dining room.

She shut off the mower and came over to him, wiping some sweat from her brow.

“Hey, Mikey, what’s up?”

“Do you always do the yard work?” he said, surprised that Jonah wasn’t helping her out.

“Yeah, when Jonah went off to college I just kind of picked up a lot of the chores, and since he’s been back for break I think he’s still in college-land.” She rolled her eyes.

Michael was thoughtful for a moment. “Have you started thinking about school yet?”

Judy looked at him and said, “Yeah, I have, but the schools I want to go to are so expensive and I just don’t think I could even broach the topic yet, you know? Plus, I’d like to go away, but it just doesn’t seem right... at least not now.”

Michael understood. “Well, you have a few months before you start applying, anyway. If you want any help with your essays or anything let me know, okay?”

She smiled a little at that.  “Sure, I’ll keep that in mind for when I am ready.”

Michael nodded. “Okay, well, I’m going to go look for Jonah... I’m guessing he’s probably still asleep.”

With that, Judy huffed a bit and said, “Of course he is,” and went back to her chores.

Michael headed back into the house through the screen door and past the dining room and the kitchen. He walked back up the stairs toward his childhood bedroom, but first stopped outside Jesse’s old room. He had wanted to go in last night, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. He decided to go in and see what remained. The room was—clean. He couldn’t understand it. The rest of the house was a complete and utter disaster, but not Jesse’s room. It’s like time stood still. Michael felt like Jesse could return at any moment and say, “Get out of here, pepperoni face, I have things to do.”

Ahh, pepperoni face, just one of the lovely names Jesse had called him. Michael had almost forgotten it. Jesse lovingly gave him that nickname once Michael had hit puberty and pimples had taken over his face. Although everyone loved Jesse, he wasn’t always the nicest — sometimes being so cool went to his head. Michael hated to think that, especially since Jesse was gone — but it was true. He shook himself back to reality and walked in. The carpet was a dark blue and the twin bed had a mission-style bedframe with a matching nightstand, dresser, and desk set. The same old blue and green plaid flannel sheet set that had been there when Jesse was in high school was still on the bed now. Jesse’s trophies littered the dresser and his desk still had his books on it. This was surreal. What was going on in this house? And where the hell was Jonah?

Jonah was still sleeping, of course. What the hell, Michael thought. His mother and his sisters were busting their asses and this loser was sleeping the day away. Michael crept into the room quietly. It struck him that it looked exactly the same, well, save for the mess. This whole house was like a time capsule. He looked over at his side, where he had neatly made his bed. His old Wayne Gretzky posters were on the wall and even his science fair trophies were on the dresser. This room had been his alone until Jonah was born. Jesse had his own room and as the older of the two boys, sharing wasn’t going to happen. Michael remembered begging Jesse to share with him so he wouldn’t have to share with a toddler. No dice. So Michael got stuck sharing his room with Jonah. So instead of listening to the Dave Matthews band or other popular 90’s music when Michael was a teen, he was listening to Barney and Friends on Jonah's pale blue boom box. As much as he hated it at the time, that experience had allowed them to stay close even though Michael had been gone all these years.

The room wasn’t large but it was big enough for two twin beds, two dressers, and two desks that were situated in the middle of the room and acted as a divider. He was surprised Jonah never rearranged the room after Michael had left, and that Jonah had managed to contain his mess mostly to one side of the room. On Jonah’s side there were computer parts everywhere. They even had begun to creep over onto Michael’s old desk.

Jonah was always a tinkerer and loved computers. In fact, Michael had bought Jonah his first one for his fifteenth birthday and ever since, Jonah had become obsessed with computers, programming, and games. Sure he was an athletic kid, he even played basketball in high school, but he truly loved computers. He probably spent a little too much time playing video games but he was mostly a good kid. A lazy one yes, but he was a ‘good egg,’ as his mother often put it.

Michael crossed the floor of the blue carpet to where Jonah was soundly sleeping. He leaned over and removed the top sheet. Jonah didn’t stir. Michael then rolled up the fitted sheets quietly on each side. Jonah still didn’t stir. Michael yanked the sheets up and dragged Jonah onto the floor with one swift movement.

“Hey, what’s the big idea?” yelled a groggy Jonah. “Ouch … what the hell do you think you’re doing, I was sleeping, for crying out loud!” Jonah’s eyes were still shut during their exchange and he looked like he could fall right back asleep.

“Jonah, seriously. It’s noon. I have been up for six hours working. What is your lazy ass doing with the summer?! Get up — we have work to do.” Michael looked down at Jonah and suddenly noticed he was fully clothed. He even still had on his sneakers from the night before.

“What did you do? Stay up all night and play video games?” Michael was a little exasperated, especially since Judy had been up almost as long as Michael and she was hard at work.

“Oh, come on, I always do stuff, let me just sleep,” Jonah said, as he fluffed his pillow and made himself comfortable on the floor. Michael leaned forward and grabbed Jonah’s feet and dragged him into the hallway with his sheets and all, laughing the entire time.

“ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! FINE, I’M UP,” Jonah shouted. He didn’t look happy. But this wasn’t a happy time and he had to get to work; they all did.

“Good, we have work to do. Get dressed.  We’re going to the hardware store in town,” said Michael, with determination in his voice.

Jonah grumbled but began to look for a clean shirt among the computer mess on the floor. Michael shook his head and walked out and began to survey the damage in the house. He wasn’t going to remodel or anything crazy, he decided, but a fresh coat of paint on the walls and some cleaning would be good. He’d hire a maid service except his mother would kill him. In a small town like Gray Harbor, everyone would know that Marty had a cleaning lady come over ‘cause she couldn’t handle it. Michael had a feeling she wouldn’t like that. Marty wasn’t the type to admit she couldn’t handle something. Neither was Michael. It seemed to be genetic.

Michael made note of how much paint he’d probably need and jotted down the colors he saw around the different rooms in the house. He also made note that maybe they should rent a carpet steamer and other cleaning supplies. He didn’t have much time but he was going to get this project going.

“All right, I’m ready, but can we eat first? I’m starved,” Jonah said, as he walked down the stairs.

“Why don’t we go to the diner after we run some errands? My treat,” said Michael.

“All right, sounds good,” Jonah said, as he yawned.  “Want me to drive?” Jonah looked at Michael hopefully. He had been eyeing Michael’s rental car, which was a black Mustang convertible.

Michael agreed and handed Jonah the keys. Jonah instantly perked up and bounded out the door. He was clearly excited to drive something other than his parents’ old station wagon.

Jonah hopped in and put the keys in the ignition of the sleek car. “Man, this is sweet. Is this really a rental?” Michael nodded in reply.

“Too bad. Why don’t you just buy one of these yourself? Don’t you make like a bazillion dollars a year or something?” asked Jonah, as he pawed the vehicle.

“I don’t really need a car in the city. I take the subway everywhere or take cabs, so having a car would just be an unneeded expense,” explained Michael. “And I don’t make a bazillion dollars, okay?” Michael looked at him pointedly.

“Man, you sure are boring for a rich dude. So are we are heading to McAllister's Hardware? They have changed a lot in the past few years. That store is really nice now. They have all this high-end stuff and even an interior decorator. I forget his name but Mom says some dude who works there knew you and Jesse when you guys were growing up…” Jonah continued you to chat about some more of the changes that had been made since Michael had last been home.

Michael got lost looking out the window. So much had changed. It’s amazing what thirteen years and a surge of tourism could do to a place. Gray Harbor was no New York, but man, it sure had been cleaned up in the past couple of years. They drove by the many well-manicured Cape Cod and Victorian homes that lined the streets. They didn’t look like tourist homes, either; they looked like year-rounders’ homes. Some children’s toys were scattered on a lawn. Families were playing outside together. A family. That’s something that didn’t seem possible for Michael in New York.

God, it had been months since his last date. Michael had had plenty of dates in the past. He was good looking and rich now, but at a certain point, going home with random women who didn’t care about you, who only cared about your money, status and looks, no longer did it for Michael. He wanted something more out of his life. It was all beginning to feel really meaningless and contrived.

At first all of that had been fun, all the meaningless sex and the power. He hadn’t had much luck with girls in high school. He had never even slept with a girl until college. He came close once in high school with his lab partner, Beth. She was a real brain and probably the only person he had liked from the popular group. Even after what had happened with Jesse and Beth’s sister... well, knowing her, she had probably gotten out of this town, away from the memories. He imagined by now she was probably a doctor or a lawyer. As he returned to his thoughts of New York, he tried to think of one good friend he had. While he was struggling to think of a real friend he had made over the years, Jonah continued to rattle on and update him on all the things going on with his friends from home in Gray Harbor, his frat brothers at the University, and all the girls. He even mentioned there was one girl of interest from town, but it “wasn’t serious or anything.”

Michael tried to think of a story about him and friends he had to tell his brother, but he drew a blank. Who did he have in New York? His colleagues, his secretary… his cleaning lady Marisol. That was it. What was he doing with his life? He had been blind with ambition all these years, but being at the top felt lonely now. He was just working, and working for people who didn't value him. After all, he was about to be replaced by a twenty-five-year-old Harvard grad. No one had said it yet but Michael just felt it. He had a sense for these things and for someone who made his living off of gut feelings about the market, that meant something. They passed the old Gray Harbor Lighthouse, and what looked like a fancy inn.