Reveal (Love & Beyond #2) (10 page)

“Was this your idea or his?”

“Was his mam, we couldn’t find anywhere else to park.” Before I reply, Darla interrupts us.

“Damn it, I’ve left my bag at the arena, I need to go back.”

“Ok, we’ll all go.” I offer,

“No, it’s ok, carry on, I’ll catch up.”

“No babe, we’re not leaving you to go back by yourself, don’t be stupid.”

“I’ll go with her, you two go with Phillip, back to the car and just wait for us to come back, it shouldn’t take us long, it is only over there.” Tye offers,

“Good idea, Tye! Come on you two.”Philip demands, Tye and Darla head back, and Carl and I follow Phillip, as he’s walking ahead. I try to stop Carl on our travels.

“Carl, I don’t like this, there is something fishy going on, this is not right. We should head back with them.”

“Baby girl, stop worrying, nothing is going to happen. We’re with Phillip; he’s one of Jared top men, you’ve got nothing to be scared of, come on.” He grabs my hand to carry on walking and I stop him and pull away.

“I can’t help this feeling, I don’t want anything to happen to you, we shouldn’t split up, my heart is pounding. We’re walking back this way.” He huffs in defeat and I grab his hand and start to walk back the other way, but before I can, we’re stopped and I look over my shoulder and Phillip is behind Carl with his huge arm around his neck and the other hand on the side of his head.  His eyes has deepened, it’s a look I’ve never seen from him  before, and right before my eyes he twists and all you hear is the crack of Carl’s. “No!” I shout, he’s snapped his neck and I watch Phillip let go of his lifeless body and it falls to the ground. Every part of me is breaking, I can’t breathe, my whole body has gone numb.”You bastard.” I run towards Carl’s lifeless body and fall to my knees. I place his head on my lap and stroke his face, it’s still warm. The alley way is filled with the agony of my screams. “Someone help, please!” Carl, my Carl you can’t be dead, joint at the hip remember. You cannot leave me. The tears are running down my face, falling on to his shaven head. I feel like someone has torn my heart out and shredded it to pieces. I feel sick and empty inside, I look back up at Phillip, my eyes are blurred through the tears and the rain pouring down over me. “Why did you kill him? Why Carl? He was harmless.”

“I’m sorry, pet! I was under orders.” Phillip, is just standing there over us, I can’t breathe, orders?

“Jared would never order you to do this.”

“Not Jared, pet! Sabrina.” My jaw widens more, realizing that we’ve been betrayed. “I’m sorry!” He actually sounds sympathetic. He runs of and I’m left with my best friends’ body lying on me, praying he’ll wake up, it’s a dream he can’t be dead, not Carl. He is harmless. No, just no. The blood in my veins is running cold, I can’t stop hyperventilating, we’re suppose to grow old together and still act stupid, and now we can’t. Am staring down at his closed eyes wishing he would just open them. I’m frozen solid, as every part of my body wants to die with him.  I hear footsteps running. Darla see’s us on the floor.

"Danni, what happened?" The voices echoed over, and over again, as I shook my head trapped in this nightmare where my friend is dead. Tuning them out again, I turn around, looking at him and feel guilt and sorrow eating away at my soul and I begin sobbing into his head, touching my forehead to his, chanting "Sorry, I'm so sorry..."

“What, no, no!  Carl! She screams. The whole alley is filled with our cries, for our fallen friend, lover.

“It was Phillip Tye, he betrayed us all, he’s working with Sabrina.”

“What? Oh no! I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I need to make some calls.” I nod my head in denial. This has to be a dream, please wake up Danni, wake up. I’m pinching myself wanting to wake up but nothing, this is real and I’ve just lost my life time friend, it was only this morning we were talking about getting old, how could this happen? And know he’s gone, my best friend has gone and it’s my entire fault. What I’m I going to do, I want him back. I place my head onto his, crying my heart out not wanting to leave his side. I grab Darla’s hand and squeeze, she not looked over once, she screaming into his chest, like me. She lost her soul mate; I’ve lost my brother, that’s what he was like, my brother. Why Carl? He was harmless, kind, caring, loves and would do anything for anyone. This can’t be real. I keep whispering to him over and over again, wanting a different outcome. However, it’s still the same. I carry on saying the same words in hope this will turn out to be a horrendous nightmare “Please come back, Carl! Please, the three musketeers, always and forever.” I pull Darla towards me and she throws her arms around my shoulder, she sinks her head into my chest and I hold her tight. We can’t speak, we just scream our hearts out, we were a team of three and now it’s two, we’re not complete without Carl. He was our rock and now he’s gone. How are we going to live without his smile? I think of his smile, which hurts more and more. We are never going to see it again. They will pay, they will all pay for what they have done I promise. 

    
Chapter Eleven

“Danni, it’s time, we have to go.” Andi shouts, I ignore her, I’m standing in my bedroom looking at a framed picture of me and Carl at the lake house, when we were kids, we’re around eight in this picture. I’m getting the flash backs of that day.

We’re running around in the front, near the lake, playing tag and Carl’s shouting,

“You can’t catch me, nir nir.” I’m chasing after him saying.”

“You want to bet? I’ll catch you.” We are running around in circles for about five minutes and then I trip over and cut my knee. Carl comes running towards me, to check to see if I’m ok. He is worried, but also trying his best not to laugh, as I’m crying.

“What are you like, you baby girl.” He laughs to himself, and carries on saying. “Baby girl, do you get it? You’re crying like a baby and you’re a girl, It’s also a pretty cool nick name and you’re my baby. I’m so going to start calling you that.” I knew he was trying to cheer me up and it worked, I smiled at his kindness. “Wait there, baby girl.” He runs towards the bush near the lake and picks something up. He comes running back and handed me a huge doc leaf.”Here you go, this is magic, so my mum says. Rub it on your cut and the pain will go away.” He sits next to me and rubs it on my knee; I don’t stop looking at him for his kindness.

“Thank you, Carl! You’re the best friend anyone could have wished for.”

“Anytime, baby girl.” 
That’s how he came to call me baby girl, and now I’ll never hear him say it again. The tears stream down my face, and drops on the picture, a hand places on my hand.

“Come here.” Adam says, wrapping his arms around me. “We have to go, we can’t be late for his funeral, Carl would never forgive us.” The sound of his name sends shooting pains straight through my heart, knowing once I go to his funeral, it is real and I have to say goodbye for good. I’ve not spoke to anyone since it has happened. Well apart from the police on that night, it happened. When we got back home I barricaded myself to this room, I did not want to see or speak to anyone.  My brother stayed here with me because he did not want me to be alone, but that is all I want to do is be alone. No one is safe around me.

Adam lets go of his grip and walks me to the car to head to the funeral, I guess this is it, burying my dearest oldest friend. What’s my life come too.

Once we are in the car, heading to our destination. I look straight out the window, it’s like everything is on fast forward and there flying before my eyes and I’m in a trance, into another flashback. We’re older this time.
We are in breadsticks; we would meet up here after school, whenever we got the chance. I’m sat in the corner, near the open window, it was our usual place and he comes rushing in strutting, saying hello to everyone as he walks by and when he gets to me, he pecks me on the cheek and sits down.

“You’re in a great mood today.” I say,

“Damn right, baby girl! I’ve just aced my exam. So I called home to tell my parents and they said because I’ve passed they’re going to get me a car, I’m sixteen so it’s legal.”

“That’s amazing, well done! We so need to celebrate. We should order the triple chocolate, sharing sundae! It’s well deserved.” We chuckle and he replies,

“Are you kidding, baby girl? You know I’m on this new health kick, my six pack is starting to show, that won’t help.”

“Dude, Stop been a wining girl and let’s get it, unless you want me to go get you some panties and a bra and a wig. If you’re going to act like a girl you may as well look like one.” I tease and he grabs one of the bread sticks that are in the middle of our table, and throws it at me.

“I’ll show you am all dude, if you want? Privately of course.” My jaw widens with shock, the dirty pervert.

“Oh my god, Carl, that’s terrible! Don’t make me call Adam.”

“Why do you have to go there, baby girl, that dude is crazy, him and his mates, I’ll stay away from. So don’t go there.” I giggled once again.

“I’m only playing, you’d be the last person on earth, I’d set my brother and his mates on. You’re my best friend and I love you, so you get away with it. Besides, I’d kick your ass myself, I can take you.”

“You wish, baby girl! You know you’d melt at my feet, by just touching me, you wouldn’t stand a chance and I love you too, let’s get this dessert.” He winked at me and called the waitress over.
That was such a funny day, later on that night we had a party and its where he seen Darla again for the first time in years.

The car stops, that means we are here. The pit of my stomach has sunken deep into oblivion, as I know this it.

I walk linked to my brother and keeping my head down; I really don’t want to see the look on people’s faces.

We walk far into the graveyard until we find his burial site. There is an open grave, with a brown casket hovering over it waiting to be laid down, to rest. 

Everyone gathers around, Darla is on the opposite side of me with her parents and Carl’s parents. Their faces have drawn white and the flow of their tears seems to be echoing around his grave. I carry on glancing at everyone. Carl would be made up he’s had an amazing turn out. I put my head back down and try to contain my own tears. I find it hard to breathe and as the minister starts to speak, my grip on Adam arm starts getting tighter and tighter, my legs started to shake and my lip starts to tremble. This is it my final goodbye to my lifetime friend, a brother. I close my eyes and try and zone out and I fall into another flash back.

We’re sixteen, Darla, Carl and I, are on our way to a theme park as we booked tickets to play paint ball.

“This is going to be sweet, girls! You do know how much this hurts right? When a paint ball hits you, it’s painful. Now I can hack it because I’m a dude, you girls on the other hand, are delicate and would probably scream just for breaking a nail. Are you sure you two are up for this?” Darla and I look at each other in disdain with his remark.

“Listen here, num nuts! Darla and I can kick your ass and put up with more pain than you could ever put up with as we are girls after all, and you cry with just a little slap on that very shiny, waxed head of yours, shall we demonstrate?” Darla laughs and says.

“I like that idea, it could show him who really is boss here.” We walk closer towards him and he puts his hands out in front of him.

“Wow, hold on ladies, let’s talk about this. I was only playing after all. You guy’s win! Leave the head alone, it’s a work of art. Right we’re here, let’s kick some ass.”

“Saved by the bell! Aren’t you a lucky one?” I wink at him and we walk through the doors. Once we are inside and all suited up and it’s decided that we’re the red team. We hurdle up and Carl takes charge automatically.

“Right, let’s do this! We should split up, but not too far, so then we can corner them, are we ready ladies? Hands in, and after three you know what to say, one, two, three.”

“All for one and one for all” We all say in unison and we set of.

That was a great day and we won too. Carl was over the moon. We can’t say that anymore because we’re not the three musketeers anymore, there’s only two now.
 
The sorrow fills my entire body, I feel week and cannot hold my weight much longer, it’s like am falling deep in a pit as it’s the end of the world. The minster has finished talking and the coffin is been lowered. I struggle to watch as I see him going down.

One by one, people are grabbing a hand full of soil and placing it on his coffin and then it comes to me. I can’t move and I feel another arm wrap around my waste, I look to see Jared, I don’t want him near me, so I brush it off and walk towards the soil and grab a hand full and I look at his head stone. It says,

Carl Thomas Freed,

Born 1987- Died 2015

Beloved son and husband

Amazing friend

Three musketeers always and forever

(All for one and one for all)

I fall to the floor and my tears flood out, I didn’t want to breakdown but I can’t hold it together. Our whole life has been together, every secret, our ups, and downs, our family dramas, bad relationships. We have always been there for each other and now were not anymore. He didn’t even get to become a dad, he was young, his whole life was ahead of him and it was ripped away from him with a blink of an eye. What am I going to do without him? He was always my rock. The tears are running, I want this pain to stop, everything inside me feels like there being ripped apart. I want them ripped out. I try to whisper the words, ‘I’m so sorry, Carl.’ But they won’t come out. Another arm is put around me to help me up, it’s not Jared, Adam or even Andi and Alex. It’s the last person I never thought it’d be, it’s my mother.

“It’s ok, darling, everything will be ok.” She says in the softest voice and I do the one thing I thought I’d never do and wrap my arms around her and hold tight. “Oh darling, I’m so sorry. I’m here now, I won’t let go.” She whispers, who knew no matter how much of a bitch she is and how much I cannot stand her, I still need her. Life’s too short for grudges, I lost Carl to someone’s grudge, this has to end.

                                 *****

A few days have passed by and I’ve not yet said a single word. My brother brought me to his to stay, as he doesn’t want to leave me alone, he’s afraid I might run. Which is exactly what I want to do, I can hear them speaking about me, outside my door.

“Has she still not said one word?”

“No! Not one, I’m really worried.”

“Did you try the hot chocolate thing?”

“Of course I did, mother. I know her a hell of a lot more than you and for her to snub it off, is a bad sign. Why do you care anyway?”

“Regardless of what has happened in the past, which I hold my hands up for it, I know it was me, but I meant it when I said I want to make amends with you all. Especially with Danni, I made a huge mistake back then. Let me go in and try.”

“Oh, I don’t know if that’ll be a good idea.”

“Look, I was there for her at the funeral, she let me and I stayed with her and didn’t let go like I said, that must mean she starting to forgive me right? So let me do this. Besides, it’ll either one of two ways. One, she’ll let me in with open arms, or she’ll flip out and kick off on me. So either way, it’s a win, win situation.” I can hear him hesitate at first. I don’t care, I just want to lay here and hope time passes till the pain disappears.

“Fine, go in” Just don’t make the situation worse. I know Danni, I practically raised her, I won’t let her get hurt anymore, especially by you. You want to show her you’re a changed woman, then this will be the start. I mean it mum, don’t make me regret this.”

I hear the door opening and I can feel the tension of her whole emotions mixed in the air with mine. She scared, also sympathetic and sad. I glance over as she walks closer, not feeling anything at all, I’m still numb. She got her thick brown hair up in a bun, perfect as always. It is where Andi gets it from, hazel eyes, sparkling as bright as ever. She’s wearing a black, smart dress that’s fits her to perfection on her slender frame. She’s always has to dress smart and elegant. She never did comfortable clothes.

“Hey Danni!” She softly says, as walking towards the bed and parking her butt on the edge of the bed. I stare right through her. “Look, Danni. I know I’ve never been around and I’m grateful for this second chance, I am here for you if you want to talk, scream or whatever. I know you have your siblings and you can confide in, but sometimes it helps if it’s a stranger and I know I’m your mum but I have been a stranger all your life. So treat me like it, if you need it.” She places her delicate, pale hand on mine and I look away, I just cannot be bothered with any of this, I hate pep talks. “Danni, I know how close you where to Carl, you both where inseparable.” My stomach sinks at his name. “He wouldn’t want this, Danni. He would want you to live your life, and also he’ll want you to be there for Darla, as this is crumbling her too. Carl was an amazing person, he loved you so much and we all could see it. Honour his death. Now, I know there is more to all of this than your letting on and I get it, but listen, use all this to your advantage his death will not be in vain, and you’ll make sure of it. If you need anything darling, I’ll be here no matter how long it takes. One by one is the key. I love you darling.” I look at her puzzled, what is with the cryptic messages? She smiles and presses her smooth red lips on my forehead and walks out. Is she trying to tell me to fight back? Oh, I don’t know. I hear another voice outside.

“Can I see her?”

“No, you can’t!”

“Adam, come on! You can’t stop me from seeing her, I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Jared, yes I can, I’m her brother.”

“Excuse me, Jared! I suggest you listen to my son, Danni is not in her right mind just now, she’s just lost someone who meant more to her then anyone. How are you going to be able to help?” I really don’t fancy him coming in here.

“Has she still not said anything?”

“No, she hasn’t”

“Let me try, give me ten minutes please, you can’t isolate her, how the hell is that going to help?”

“Fine, hurry up.”

He walks through the door, why did they let him in here. My jaw starts to chatter, not with sadness but with anger. He comes straight to my side.