Ride To The Edge (Lucifer's Saints MC) (Rough Riders MC Series Book 4) (9 page)

“Talia, I am aware of your talents, dear, and no, I don’t think you are rock star trash married to a biker who should know better than to choose my niece as his wife.” Eve turned those malicious hazel-green daggers in my direction. “Your sister is different. She’s wise beyond her years and there’s no way I would ever jeopardize her safety when she’s my sister’s daughter. Do you think I would do that all over a lousy bust—don’t answer that because it’s written all over your face.”

“Mom, no offense, but we’re just worried, that’s all—”

“And where was this ‘worry’ when you allowed your eighteen-year-old sister to be swept off her feet by a rocker in Talia’s band, married off, and pregnant before she turned twenty?” Eve questioned, both anger and disappointment lacing her tone. “My God, my nineteen-year-old daughter is a mother already and a step-mom to two brats from her husband’s white-trash ex-wife. She’s too young to be in a position like that!”

“Trista is a grown woman, Eve. When I took her in after the ‘deaths’ of you, our uncle, Tristan and his fiancée, I couldn’t have known what would happen,” Talia said as she looked down at her plate of uneaten cheesecake.

“But you must have had a pretty good idea that having a young, impressionable teenager around a bunch of rockers and thugs wouldn’t lead to anything good especially living in L.A.!” Eve exclaimed with such furor in her voice, she silenced anything else my ol’ lady would have said.

“It’s already happened and a fact now, Mom.” Trey wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin and threw it on top of his cheesecake. “Getting angry about something that can’t be changed is counterproductive at this point—”

“Oh, is it?” Eve glared at her son while a shocked Catrin looked on, her cheeks flushed crimson with shock. “You think this is how I wanted my family to turn out? I have a daughter who had so much potential flush her life away for money and fame with someone who surely might get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame one day but she has absolutely no
identity
of her own. I wanted her to turn out like Catrin and Talia. Instead, she’s just some rock star’s wife and
breeder
to increase the size of his family. God knows I have enough issues with the Carters in Boston and I don’t need anymore, not when my own daughter is spitting them out like a cat having kittens.”

“I highly doubt Trista will be having another baby any time soon.” Trey drank down his Riesling in one long swallow. “Exactly what is it you really want to talk about, Mom? You and Dad’s—sorry, you and my Stepfather’s failed marriage? Tristan and his wife moving to Boston to work for the FBI there? Or me? Your favorite failure of a son—spawned by the love of your life you could never have? He wasn’t supposed to include me as part of the club . . . ever, was he?”

Eve sipped from her wine delicately as she placed it on the table. “You made that decision yourself when you defied us all by joining the Demon’s Bastards, Trey. No, neither Desmond nor I—nor your stepfather, the man who raised you by the way—wanted this life for you. We thought you would go to MIT, meet a nice young woman, get married and not have anything to do with government life. At least not
this
part of the government.

“You could have done anything you wanted in Washington, D.C. I have connections that lead directly to the President. You should have been in the CIA, working a desk job doing what you do best—tracking down information on any son of a bitch in the world. Now, no one will ever know it was your ingenuity that found some of the most powerful terrorists in the world. You’re just some biker for a one percent club playing FBI agent and chasing after his mommy’s coat tails like a good little boy.”

“Gee, thanks for insulting both my old lady as well as me. Sorry, I didn’t quite live up to your expectations but I’m my own person. I have autonomy! Isn’t that what you were just talking about?”

“You could have been a Senator, Trey, and later, President of the United States. You were the one who was supposed to legitimize this whole fucked up situation that’s going on right now! No, I never wanted you to be a biker or in the FBI because you were so fucking intelligent, the world was your fucking oyster. You could have done anything you wanted! You have an IQ higher than Einstein and a photographic memory. You were my first-born! I would have been
crazy
to have wanted this life for you, Trey!”

I glanced across the table and witnessed shocked faces of those who couldn’t believe what they’d just witnessed.

The great Eve Kerrigan never lost her cool. She was a block of ice and rarely showed any emotions at all but tonight, she’d proven she was just as human as the rest of us. Meanwhile, our dirty little family secrets kept tumbling out like skeletons in a closet that refused to stay closed and I had to calm her down before she went batshit crazy.

I knew her job was stressful—hell, mine was too and I didn’t have a tenth of the responsibility she did.

Although it went against every principle I had when it came to the woman, I stood, walked over to her and helped her stand to her feet. She collapsed in my arms and sobbed as we strode out of the dining room.

Now here was a scene and a situation I thought I’d never be privy to in a million years. Me comforting my boss, who happened to be my brother’s long time mistress, and the mother to my nephew. I didn’t exactly fault her for it all—in fact if anyone shared the brunt of the blame, it was Dizzy. He tricked a young, beautiful American woman so full of hope and dreams for her life and turned her into a cold-hearted bitch who pumped ice-water in her veins and tried not to feel much about anyone because her life had been anything but roses and sunshine since he’d come into her life.

He’d caused her marriage to fail with promises of leaving Bronaugh—both of them knowing it would never happen but giving her a sliver of hope to subsist on day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year. For that, I couldn’t ever forgive Dizzy because the casualties in his deceit were two women who never knew how one man could hurt them so deeply, they’d never be the same again.

I embraced Eve and allowed her to cry until the tears dried and she pulled away only slightly. Hazel-green eyes, usually so frosty were filled with emotion as she whispered, “You never saw me this way. No matter what anyone says about the legacy I leave behind, I was never this weak woman sobbing over a life that could have been, do you understand?”

“What are you talking about you daft cow? We all show feelings every now and then, even me.”

She shook her head as she ran a shaky finger through loose strands that had fallen out of place. “Bronaugh has breast cancer. Dizzy didn’t want anyone to know but . . . Cillian found out and it’s only a matter of time before everyone knows. She’s decided to get a second opinion—well, I want a second opinion so I’m flying her to France. I want her to get only the best medical care, Dex. It’s not about guilt for fucking her husband all these years, it’s just common human decency. I don’t want her gone any more than you or anyone else does because that’s when your brother will fill his head with delusions of grandeur that we can be together.”

“Well, you can and no one would fault either one of you—”

“No, I can’t be with Desmond. I’m in love with him still and would do anything for him but not that. I’ll never tarnish the memory of Bronaugh. Not in front of her children or grandchildren. She will always be Desmond’s only wife.” Eve wiped her nose with a tissue she dug out of her Hermès bag.

“And how does this charade help anyone? Are you determined to stay miserable and single for the rest of your life? Is this the honorable Eve Kerrigan slipping so easily back into a part she’s played for far too long?”

“No.” She stared into my eyes again, all hazel gone except near the edges of her irises while the pale green striations were so bright they reminded me of Talia’s eyes. “I refuse to be a whoremonger. Desmond and I—we had a beautiful time together but I refuse to ruin what we had any further than it already has been. It’s time for both of us to move on. I’ve accepted that but you have to do your job, Dex, and help your brother accept it too. You’re the only one he’ll listen to because you’re bound by blood—full blooded siblings who know what it feels like to be Trey. From a duplicitous mother too much like me. Who didn’t know in the end what man she wanted but for me, it was always Desmond.”

She swallowed and turned slightly away. “Unfortunately for me, love came once in my lifetime and I need to accept that you can love someone so much but not be able to stand the sight of them. I could never be with your brother again. Too much history . . . far too much bad blood . . . too much pain, sorrow and destruction. Our . . . love wrecked so many lives. Maybe in the end, when that charming Irish boy approached me with that killer smile on his face and those gorgeous crystal blue eyes, I should have smiled shyly, shook my head at his proposal of dinner and walked away. I wonder how . . . different everything would be if I’d done that. If I’d just said no.”

“None of us can go back in time, love.” I kissed her forehead. “And for what it’s worth, if you’d said no, then I wouldn’t have a boss who cares more about her agents than she does her own job. Nor would I have a brilliant nephew who makes me so proud every time I’m around him because as much as you see Dizzy in him, I see you in him . . . and you make him a better human being. You have no reason to feel guilty about your life.

“You’re a queen among women,” I continued in a soft voice, “and above all you have that regal pride most people wish they possessed. You’re smart enough to see my brother hates himself more than anyone else although he loves the fuck outta you. He’s poison, damaged goods, and he was never ever good enough for the likes of you.”

“I thank you for the prep talk but we both know that’s not going to make me go any easier on you where the job is concerned. Take care of my niece, and be good to her. Give her all the love you can and more. No one has to repeat the same mistakes we made—absolutely no
one
.”

I finally allowed my arms to fall from her body and she backed away slowly. “Can you let Catrin know that I left? Tell her I wasn’t feeling very well. She and her sister need some one on one girl time. It’s been far too long.”

“Will do.”

Eve smiled slightly as she strode past me with the elegance of Audrey Hepburn. “Dexter?”

I turned to face her. “Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything, Eve.”

“You recognized my humanity tonight and you allowed me to unleash decades worth of heartache. In my book, that isn’t merely anything or nothing. What you did was
everything
, and the bad part is you didn’t even realize it.”

I walked back into the dining room as soon as I saw her climb into the blacker than black SUV that drove one of the most powerful women in the country around and tried not to smirk.

Perhaps I wouldn’t be such a horrible father to my daughter after all.

“W
ho are you and what did you do to my aunt?”

Hardy laughed as we lay in bed together, or more I like I laid down while he was giving me a much needed foot massage. The heels were starting to affect me but I refused to give them up when I only had a few shows left before we went on hiatus.

“Love, your aunt’s human, isn’t she? We’re all allowed to feel disappointment, resentment, anger, fear, and hurt when our lives don’t turn out quite the way we expect them to be. That was Eve, having an emotional breakdown, and I handled it quite well if I may say so myself.”

I rubbed my foot that now smelled of lemon and vanilla on the side of his face. “You’re a miracle worker. That’s what you are. Do you know that? I’ve never seen my pristine aunt ever behave that way but by the time she left, she seemed truly all right.”

“And she is.” He laughed as he grabbed my foot and pulled me toward him. “Who would have thought? Big bad biker could tame the shrew of the FBI, also known as Eve Kerrigan? Marriage has made me soft. Maybe I should hang out at the club more often, flirt with a few Saint Slappers to try to make you jealous. Otherwise, you’re going to think you married the wrong bloody guy.”

I laughed out loud. “Not happening because I know exactly who I married.”

He finally coaxed me onto his lap and a massive hard-on that could be felt through his boxer-briefs. “How’s that?”

“Well, this life isn’t just about bangin’ club whores and riding your precious Harley as being a rock star just isn’t about going on tour, gettin’ high and gettin’ laid. There are nuances that aren’t so glamorous and they don’t always make outrageous displays of our lifestyle but they are a part of them never the less.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned over until our cheeks brushed one another. “I love that you come home almost every night and I don’t have to worry about smelling some cheap tart’s perfume on you—”

“Oi! I have standards ya know,” he teased.

“Okay . . . well some expensive perfume from some bitch you fucked at the brothel instead of a skanky Saint Slapper. I love that you truly do value and appreciate me. I even love how you call me your bitch because I am . . . and if I find out your eight-inch cock has been in any other woman, I’ll cut it off.”

“It’s eight and one half inch, babe. That extra inch makes all the difference.” He pushed his stiff dick against me and I purred like a kitten.

“You know what I think? I do believe it’s been too long since we’ve had really angry, hair-pulling biker sex. I mean fucking until my insides feel like I am going to explode in ecstasy and how you tell me that it’s your pussy you’re fuckin’ the same way I tell you that big fat cock belongs to me.”

He kissed my neck, licking his hot, wet tongue against my pulse point, knowing how much that turned me on. “Do you think we should do that? I mean, what about the baby?”

“The baby is in an embryo sack filled with nutrients and oxygen.” I whispered as I threw my head back to give him access to my neck. “Your cock can’t penetrate it and she can’t see it because my cervix is closed up tighter than a pawn shop on Main Street at midnight. The only damage you’ll be doin’ is murdering my pussy, which is a good thing. Our little one will never know her daddy is such a bad boy unless she busts in on us as a teenager.”

“Jesus wept, woman. That is never gonna happen.” Hardy’s mouth finally found my own and we devoured each other in a kiss that sent a spark of desire from my tongue all the way down to my clit, which was currently grinding against his hard-on.

It was a fact, during pregnancy, I was always horny, and always wanted to fuck him but our schedules often conflicted, and we didn’t get to make love nearly as much as I wanted to but that was life. After what he’d done for my aunt tonight, I couldn’t help but be grateful to him.

I knew she had a heart under all that steel but who knew she was also beyond brilliant and not nearly as much of a villain as people liked to paint her? She didn’t ruin Desmond and Bronaugh’s relationship—Dizzy had done that all by himself. It was a difficult situation because he was my brother-in-law and the grandfather of Kaelan but that didn’t mean I had to like him. In fact, I more or less detested him but he’d never know that.

“Where’d you go, babe?” he asked as soon as our kiss ended.

“No where—everywhere.” I licked up his Adam’s apple before my lips found his again and our tongues swirled together in a delicious duet. “I want you to be like Calgon. Why don’t you take me away from all this drama and crap goin’ on in our lives right now?”

“Wasn’t that like a cheap eighties beauty product or somethin’?”

“It was a cheap eighties bubble bath—you know before Bath and Body Works, The Body Shop and Victoria’s Secret took over the market?”

Hardy laid me back down on the bed and slipped his hand under my skimpy, black lace baby doll negligee. I’d been wearing them a lot since I’d started to show but my bump would not be an issue with what he planned, and we both knew it.

“I’m goin’ to the high street, darlin’. Want me to bring you anything back?” he whispered in that deep Cockney accent that had my insides feeling the burn of his lips.

“Lots of teasing and a few orgasms would be nice,” I responded and smiled as he slipped the straps from my negligee and grabbed my breasts softly, his tongue descending on my sensitive nipples, which were already peaked with passion. The man knew how to suck on some titties all right and he knew how much it drove me crazy with wanton need. I arched my back as much as I could but he was careful not to apply too much weight on my body due to the bump.

He switched nipples and devoured the other one with equal fervor and I moaned out loud. I was so needy the moment he teased it by biting down though not hard enough to draw blood, my pussy gushed. High street was nice but I really needed him to go downtown if I was being honest with myself.

“Be patient, babe. I’m gonna get to that gorgeous and sweet spot between those silky legs of yours,” he said as if he could read my mind.

Hardy’s kisses along my rib cage and baby bump were like soft butterflies, teasing me relentlessly while my sex throbbed so hard, I didn’t know if I could hold out an orgasm until his tongue made it down further enough to give me more than I’d ever wanted up until that point.

Our sex life had always been amazing, even when I swore over and over to myself that I didn’t have feelings for him and he was just an outlet. A much more capable, rougher and better lover than Jaden but an outlet never the less. Now I knew my feelings were growing like our baby in my womb, the sex between us was better, hotter, and raw. It was all sweaty skin, tongues and bodies pressed against one another in a juggernaut of emotions I couldn’t control anymore.

I didn’t just view it as a physical need but one that fed my heart and soul, made my spirit soar and relaxed my mind completely. He was exactly what I needed and there was no way I was ever going to let him go. The time to give him up had passed—for him, a long time ago when it came to me—but I was just coming around and I loved the way he made me feel. If I hadn’t been so distracted with my complicated life, I would have realized that I wasn’t falling for Hardy, I’d already fallen in love with him. And this was one emotion I couldn’t take back ever.

He was my one only, not merely a last shot. He was my strength when I was weak. He held me up when I was down. He did everything in his power to make me happy when I was sad. He also respected me, trusted me and held my heart in the palm of his hands as if it were the finest, and the most flawless diamond on earth, even when all I could see were imperfections and cracks.

He’d healed me with his patience and steady nature though I knew he could be the toughest motherfucker around. I rarely saw that side of him but I understood what he was capable of doing if anyone threatened to hurt me or anyone else close to him. I had to step up and be the queen to his king because he would need me in the coming months—perhaps more than I’d ever needed him.

“You’re in your head again,” Hardy whispered, jolting me out of my thoughts as he kissed the inside of my thighs, sending me towards shivering heights I could only imagine when his tongue actually reached its final destination.

“Maybe you should do something to get me out of my head,” I teased him, spreading my thighs wider for a better access for what he intended to do in the first place.

His thick fingers spread me open as his tongue licked up and down my clit; I swear I thought I was going to come undone right then and there until his mouth devoured my nub greedily. It caused a cataclysmic orgasm that shook my whole body as I moaned loud enough for it to echo throughout our bedroom suite.

As his thumb continued to rub against my sensitive clit, he tongue fucked my dripping pussy as I tried to sit up on my elbows to see the show but my bump allowed nothing but for me to see his head bobbing up and down. I didn’t need to witness what he was doing to my body because as he drowned in my pussy juices, slurping them up from the tight ring of my asshole all the way inside me, my whole body shook and spasmed as if it were only a matter of time before he would give me another of what I craved so desperately.

I breathed hard, my forehead covered with sweat as he worked my body like he had a serious job to do to get me off. Not that I had ever been frigid or afraid of my sexuality by any means but he played me like a finely tuned piano and he made it seem so effortless to make me feel so good when it seemed like a chore for the men before him in the past.

“Inside . . .” I trailed off breathlessly. “I need your dick inside of me, Dex.”

“Oh, this must be bloody serious if you’re using my first name.”

“It is.”

He slid me over onto my stomach where I immediately assumed the doggy-style position. Missionary had gone out the window the moment I showed even a slight bump so we compromised between fucking on my side, or the way we both liked it when we wanted to get down and dirty.

Tonight, I didn’t want him to make love to me or treat me like a treasure. I wanted him to fuck me hard and rough until I could barely walk the next day and then take me again until I couldn’t get out of bed. We both understood my sexual proclivities, and knew it had nothing to do with me wanting to be treated like a whore because I thought I was one. Well, I was but in this case I was only one man’s whore and that was Hardy’s of course.

I’d been treated like one before but never had I owned up to every part of my sexual being until we’d come together. Beforehand, it made me feel a bit cheap and sleazy but never had anyone awakened me or made me feel more valued while I felt like I was being treated cheap and tawdry.

Not before Hardy.

I could see how a lot of women in London were missing him because he was all mine now and I didn’t plan on returning him anytime soon—scratch that, I never planned to give him back. If I was his whore then he was my bitch and the only person he was allowed to get down and dirty with would be me.

He slapped my right ass cheek before slapping the left one. “God, babe, you’re pussy is oozing all over the place. You’re like a fucking geyser and I haven’t even stuck my cock in you yet. What are we plannin’ tonight, huh, sweet cheeks? You want me to fuck your pussy into oblivion or are we going around the world?”

“Just my pussy babe. We’ll save around the world for when after the baby comes.” I looked over my shoulder and met his lust-filled crystal blue eyes. “You know how I like to suck my juices and your cum off your dick after you’ve filled me before you fuck my pretty asshole. But I can’t do it—not while I’m this far along with the baby.”