Ripped Apart: Quantum Twins – Adventures On Two Worlds (27 page)

Tullia awoke to her fourth day with the Meera feeling muzzy from half-recalled dreams. At some point she was sure she had seen a girl with a pink face and long, blonde hair. As she tried to remember more, she had the strange feeling that she had seen the girl before. Then she remembered the plans for the day. She was going to visit the Tsodilo Hills with their interesting energy. The first step in creating a meditation link with Kaigii.

Before her mind took her thoughts to the empty corner of her mind, she pictured Wrenden. The two boys were inseparable, and forever in trouble no matter how much she and Tamina tried to organise them. Imaging Wrenden was good, because Kaigii would be in the background, safely outside her internal link with him.

Out of bed, a quick wash in cold water and into a tank top and shorts. Although it was still chilly, for her the day would soon become comfortably warm, whereas as she joined Xashee and Tsetsana they were dressed for what was to them another cold day.

Although the hills were not very tall, the highest being about four hundred metres above the desert, she found the paths were not easy with lots of rocks and boulders in the way. The more she was shown, the more she was in awe of the hundreds of paintings that covered the hills. She could not find words to describe them. Magnificent, stunning, beautiful, did not convey the energy they exuded.

‘Lots of people from other countries have come here and dug up parts of the desert. They’ve made lots of measurements, trying to estimate how old the paintings are.’ Xashee shrugged his shoulders. ‘It doesn’t matter if they are thirty thousand years old, fifty thousand, or some say seventy. The paintings were created by our ancestors to honour the Gods who created the world and everything that lives in it.’

As Xashee explained the various paintings to her, Tullia found the one of the whales and penguins the most amazing of all, in the middle of the desert, hundreds of kilometres from the sea and thousands of kilometres from the cold seas in which penguins traditionally lived.

Later that day she was taken to what was called the Female Hill. There, Xashee showed her a giant footprint, centimetres deep in the rock. ‘That is the mark made by the Creator God as the first man was lowered onto our world,’ he said. ‘That’s why the Hills are known as the Mountains of the Gods.’

He glanced at his sister, and gave a tiny shake of his head. He was not going to say anything about the Serpent or the Cave. Tullia either knew or she did not.

Tullia stood in the depression, wondering. Xashee had told her that the San had come to Kalahari about seventy thousand years ago, and outsiders had found what they needed in the way of evidence to prove that. What were then the Auriganii had arrived on Vertazia about seventy five thousand years ago, after staying on Haven for a time. She knew Time was very different in different dimensions, but not how that worked. Was it possible that these people were the descendents of the few Auriganii who had not left Haven? Goose pimples ran all across her skin and the red patches flared uncomfortably hot.

Tullia was in a dream as they made their way back down the hillside. On top of the energy of the Hills she had been absorbing all day there had been a special feel as she stood in the footprint. She did not know what it was, but was aware that it was triggering a response from deep inside her. She felt energy spiralling along the two channels either side of her spine.

The path was narrow and there was a long drop to the desert floor. Half of her mind was carefully watching where she was putting her feet and hands, the other half was wondering how she would answer if she was asked about her life as the Daughter of a Goddess.

She thought:
Tell the truth.
They would never understand it!

With a shiver and an empty feeling in the pit of her stomach, she realised just how far away she was from home and how different life here was compared to Vertazia. Worst of all, the space where Qwelby usually lived in her mind was still blank.

Determined not to cry, she stood still and took several deep breaths to calm her nerves. Resting one hand on the rock face at the side of the path she turned to look out across the land. On this side of the hills it was more like a desert than the bush. Switching her vision, she looked at the lines of the planet’s magnetic field. A childlike sense of awe at the hidden beauty of the planet as she switched between the two visions took her back to when she was learning how to switch perceptions. Lost in thought, she ran the fingers of one hand through her long, black hair and flicked it across her chest, watching the green sparkles from the interplay with the magnetic field.

Now, she felt the land embracing her with its energy, and understood what Xameb meant by rooting herself into it so as to draw on that energy to help reconnect with Kaigii. The whole landscape shimmered as if with heat haze and turned into what she thought of as a real desert: great sand dunes like waves in the sea marching to the distant horizon. Deep within herself she sensed the new vision was calling to her. She shivered as the dunes disappeared and once again ran her finger though her hair, this time flicking it back over her shoulders.

Further ahead and below, her two guides had turned to see if Tullia was alright. As they looked up, they saw a tall and imposing figure standing very erect, her hand resting on the rock as though she owned the hills. Staring into space with her hair reaching down to her waist and framing her head against the pale blue sky, Tullia seemed to be reaching out to other Gods. As she ran her fingers through her hair, green lights flickered along its length.

Tsetsana trembled. It was her dream again. Shimmering green highlights had been in that Siska’s hair. It must have been Tullia visiting her, foretelling her arrival. Not to Xameb their N-’om K”xausi, but to her!

What did it mean? Was she being asked to be a special friend to a Goddess? One day she hoped to be taken by Xameb as his student, and become a Sangoma. But now, surely she was too young, too inexperienced. Was that why in the dream the Siska, Tullia, had worn the traditional clothes worn only by older girls and unmarried women, as if to say that even though she was a Sun Goddess, she was similar to Tsetsana?

She wanted to tell her brother of her dream. Yet each time she had been going to, something had happened to prevent her. Should she tell him now?

‘Walk on,’ Xashee said. ‘It’s not right to look at the Goddess like this.’

All sound had stopped and the gentle breeze no longer tickled her skin. Tullia’s consciousness was in-between time and space.
Am I one of their ancestors? They see me as one of the Gods who brought them here, living on a different planet?
Gods. It seemed as though fire sparkled in every cell of her being. Magnetic storms. A flood engulfing a valley as large as a continent. An island sinking below the sea. The whole world shaking. Terrible loss. Pain as though her heart had broken in two. Searching. A river. A pyramid. An indistinct image…

Sight returned to her eyes along with a feeling of panic. She looked out across the desert. It was not the verdant green valley of the flood she had just seen. But. She had to save her people. Bring them to the mountain top.

Careless of the uneven surface, she ran down the narrow pathway. Rounding a corner, startled as she almost ran into her guides, she tried to stop. A stone gave way beneath her foot. Her leg shot forward and she started to topple sideways over the edge of the path. In horror, her eyes focussed on the rocky outcrops all the way down the side of the hill to the desert floor, a long way below.

A cry of alarm escaped her lips as, unbid, here eyes switched vision in two stages, leaving her looking at the gravity waves pressing down on everything and which were about to send her crashing down the jagged rock face. Trying to regain her balance she flung her arms out wide and felt a hand grab her arm. Twisting round, she collapsed into Xashee. As they fell down on the edge of path she heard his cry of pain as she landed on top of him. Her momentum was rolling her off him, out over the edge. Her free hand scrabbled uselessly at the smooth rock face. There was nothing she could grasp to save herself.

Her legs swung over the cliff face and she dropped, feeling her arm slip through Xashee’s hand until her fall stopped with a jerk as his grip held around her wrist. She could not help looking down the rock face. A picture from years ago flashed through her mind.

In a tantrum, she had hurled at Qwelby a special doll that Gumma had made for her. She had missed her twin and the doll had struck the corner of a piece of furniture and fallen to the ground with its head, legs and arms severed from the body. She imagined that was what she would look like if she were to fall.

Above her, she heard the sound of movement, scraping over rocks. She looked up. Xashee was lying face down on the very edge of the path. Tsetsana was lying across him, her hands gripping his waist.

‘Other hand,’ Xashee croaked, extending his other arm.

Tullia stretched, but her fingers were a few centimetres away from his. Her muscles straining, she had to ease them and try again. As she lowered her arm, she swung, heard Xashee grunt as he slid dangerously closer to the very edge. Sweat broke out across her forehead and trickled into her eyes. She took a deep breath, and with panicked thoughts running through her mind, feet scrabbling helplessly on the rock face, again reached for his now blurry fingers. They met, gripped and curled together. She relaxed the tension in her shoulders and her face banged against the hillside.

Please let this be Vertazia where I can thoughtsend to my sandals, asking the fastenings to come undone so my toes might find the smallest of cracks
.

It was as though the Mountain Gods heard her plea. One of her feet found a purchase. Pushing down, looking up, she lifted her body, uncurled the fingers of one hand, stretched her arm and watched almost like an independent observer as their two hands made a wrist grip. Her sigh of relief was echoed from above as she relaxed and rested her check against the rock.

With his sister pulling him, and his legs scrabbling on the path, Xashee managed to move backwards, hauling Tullia painfully halfway over the edge of the path.

Movement stopped.

‘Hold on,’ Xashee said.

‘I don’t plan on letting go!’
Tullia thoughtsent. Then realised life on Haven did not work like that. She was finding it difficult to breathe with her chest and stomach squashed over the cliff edge, her feet unable to find any purchase.

With a massive heave and a cry of pain from Xashee, she was hauled back to safety, scraping her body and bare legs against the rock. He let go with one hand, grasped her thigh and heaved for a second time, pulling her on top of him as he wrapped his arms around her.

Dazed, winded, hurting all over, Tullia lay there sucking in lungfuls of air. Mentally she burrowed into the comfort of the strong arms, reminding herself that Kalahari was a dangerous planet where her Tazian energy skills did not work.

She heard a groan from beneath her. Putting her hands on the rock either side of her saviour, she carefully pushed herself off him. He gave a stifled cry. She saw blood on his leg, and that it was awkwardly twisted underneath him.

She blinked her eyes and shook her head as she recovered her senses, pulling herself upright by a hand on the cliff face, taking in the dust, scrapes and blood oozing down both her legs. She pushed her hair away from her eyes and saw Tsetsana was helping her brother to get his arms out of the straps of the backpack he had been carrying.

‘We help you to stand,’ Tullia said.

As the two girls got him upright it was clear he was not able to put any weight on his injured leg. He leant back against the cliff face, his sister supporting him. Tullia knelt and looked at the wound, blood trickling down. It was long and deep but looked clean. She looked at the ground. A piece of rock broken off the cliff face with a curved, sharp edge had been the cause. She looked back at his leg, concerned for the dark pulsating aura around his inner thigh.

Xashee was trying to take his sweater off.

A picture came into Tullia’s mind. She was five years old. She had been practising thought-control in the garden with Qwelby. It had been difficult to balance thoughts with actions. She had tripped, fallen, and gashed her knee. He had taken his top off and was about to wrap it around the cut when their mother appeared from the house.

She remembered the scene clearly. Her mother had held up a hand and strongly thoughtsent: ‘No! The wound must stay clean.’ What was odd was that she was remembering the scene as if she was her mother. She heard her own voice say: ‘No! The wound must stay clean.’

Xashee heard a strong command and obeyed.

‘We need to take you to lie down,’ Tullia said.

‘It’s not far to the bottom,’ Xashee lied through gritted teeth, not daring to question the Daughter of a Goddess.

Bending over, Tullia put his arm over her shoulders and supported him as he hopped down the path, blood splashing onto the rocks.

Wearing the backpack, Tsetsana followed, awed by the actions of a Goddess.

At last they reached the sandy ground. ‘Lie down,’ Tullia said with a feeling of relief in her voice. It had been a difficult descent.

She gently straightened his leg as he groaned through clenched teeth. She held out a hand and Tsetsana handed her a bottle of water. She offered it to Xashee who drank and managed a grim smile.

‘Clean cloth?’ Tullia asked.

Tsetsana shook her head.

Tullia looked down at her tank-top. Ripped and dirty, that would not do. She felt soft cloth thrust into her hand and smiled her thanks to Tsetsana who was pulling her thick jumper back over her head.

Wetting the cotton shirt, Tullia gently washed Xashee’s cut. Then, with his leg still between hers and careful not to touch him, she focussed all her energies into the centre of her body. She was aware from the dark, throbbing colours around his thigh that the injury was serious.

She carried the genes of Rrîltallâ Taminullyya, a great healer who had lived during the time the Auriganii were travelling through space. She had already decided that when she was an adult she wanted to be a healer. She needed those energies now.

Taking regular, deep breaths, she sank into her Kore. Speaking Tazian she said: ‘I, Tullia Rrîl’zânâ Mizenatyr call upon you, Rrîltallâ Taminûllÿâ Uddîšû, great Healer. Help me heal this young man who has saved my life… please.’

She brought her hands to either side of Xashee’s thigh, palms facing inwards, lowered her head and started to hum very softly. As she heard the music of the colours flowing, so she changed the tone and pitch of her hum, manipulating the flow with her long and supple fingers. The existence of a sixth finger on each hand was so natural she did not question it.

As she worked with the energy flow, a corner of her mind was wondering at the power that was flowing into her back, coming in from both sides. The sensation reminded her of the feeling of her wings when she had been very young and dressed as a winged unicorn for a KeyPoint LiveShow.

Her forehead started to itch. It grew stronger. Tears fell from her eyes. She bent her head over even further until her forehead was aimed directly at the top of Xashee’s thigh and her tears were falling on the torn muscles that her inner vision showed her inside his leg. Her necklace had swung free from her tank top and she saw the purple crystal pulsing brightly.

Tsetsana had heard the Goddess singing. Now she saw a shimmering surround her, looking like heat rising from sun-drenched rocks. Combined with the red patches on her skin flaring, Tsetsana saw the Sun Goddess on fire.

As the sunlight grew stronger behind Tullia’s back, Tsetsana bit her knuckles to stop from gasping aloud at the sight of what had to be the Mother Goddess herself infusing her daughter with power. Then her eyes widened as she saw what had to be golden tinged sunlight spiralling from Tullia’s forehead and pouring into Xashee’s body, as all the time green highlights were flickering throughout her long hair.

The photons flowing from Tullia’s forehead achieved coherence.

Time stood still.

Time returned. Tullia remained bent over, dizzy from the energy that had now ceased flowing through her, and very excited. She had channelled so much power and so gently, and so many years before it was expected. Was it Xashee’s need? Was it being on Kalahari with its slower vibrations? Or was the Tazian structured pattern of growing up not really necessary?

‘The secret is always inside… little QeïchâKaïgïï.’

Startled, Tullia sat back on her heels, opened her eyes and looked around for the source of the whisper. No-one had joined the three of them. As she took deep breaths to steady herself, fingering her crystal and thanking Kanyisaya for its help, she became aware of the silence surrounding her. It seemed all the deeper because of the far-off piercing call of a bird: uip uip uiiiio. A gentle breeze brought a momentary chill. It broke the spell. She gave a deep sigh and smiled at Xashee.

He pushed himself up on his arms, staring at Tullia. Her eyes were their usual soft purple. He was sure the ovals had turned the lavender colour of Nthabe’s favourite t-shirt, and the purple orbs had been revolving.

Starting to rise, Tullia trembled, drained of energy. Arms reached out to steady her as brother and sister helped her sit back down.

There was a long silence, broken only by deep breathing from Tullia and Xashee. Slowly Tullia’s head cleared and she felt some energy returning.

‘Is that what you do on your planet?’ Xashee asked.

Tullia nodded. ‘Yes. I ask for help from…’ Her compiler was not proffering words in Meera for what she wanted to say. ‘My ancestor…’

Brother and sister saw the purple orbs of Tullia’s eyes disappear as the ovals became completely violet.

‘I channel her energy through me and into you in the form of photons, light,’ Tullia said in a voice that sounded like an echo. ‘The photons are a vibration. Like the vibrations in air a sound makes to reach your ears. Except it is in a different dimension, as the energy is not going to your physical body but to a deeper part of you that we call the InForming Matrix. I think you might call it a Spirit Body. If, deep inside… here.’ Tullia placed a hand over her heart. ‘Your Self wants the healing, your body hears the music of those photons and, like people singing together, wants to join in. To make the waves that will make the same music, your body has to heal.’

Tullia’s head dropped onto her chest. A few moments later she looked up, blinking her eyes and looking puzzled. She was aware she had spoken in Meera using words her compiler had not yet learnt.

Her companions were staring at her in awe. She had sounded just like Xameb when the Great Serpent was speaking through him in the sacred cave at the foot of the Hills.

Embarrassed by their looks, Tullia quickly broke the silence. ‘This first time I need so much power.’ She smiled. ‘You saved my life, Xashee. Very nicely.’

The teenager looked down at the ground, embarrassed. He tried to say to himself that he had pulled her into his embrace only to prevent her from rolling over the cliff edge again. But he knew that was not the whole truth. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Sorry for saving me?!’ she exclaimed.

‘For holding you,’ he replied,

‘Oh, no! Please not be sorry!’ Tullia begged.

Xashee glanced at her, then lowered his head again. He was churning inside. Holding her must be forbidden. She was the Daughter of a Goddess. And he had never experienced such a strong feeling from touching another person. And then her healing energies. Like from the tribe’s own healers, but so much stronger. Wanting to describe the feeling as a way of remembering it, he found only one word: love.

‘Please,’ Tullia wailed. ‘I’m not a Goddess. I’m a girl like you!’

All three laughed as Tullia had been speaking directly to Xashee.

‘Was it bad saving me?’ she asked Xashee.

She saw him relax, a faint smile still hovering around his lips. ‘Not really.’

‘Thank you, Xashee.’ She leant forward and gave him a brief kiss, full on his lips.

Tsetsana’s hand flew to her mouth as she gasped in surprise. Xashee flinched away and his eyes went as round as saucers.

Tullia jerked back. ‘What I do?’

‘We don’t do that,’ said Tsetsana.

‘Only when…’ added Xashee.

Tullia was about to burst into tears. What she had done was so normal on her world. That she had offended the only two people who were becoming her friends was awful.

Xashee was distraught.
This is a Goddess. About to cry? And it’s my fault!

Tsetsana was becoming accustomed to Tullia’s changes in mood and manner, from Goddess to almost child-like when with the young children. ‘Please, don’t cry. You haven’t hurt us. We were surprised.’ She looked at her brother, who was blushing madly. ‘It’s just that what you have done is… very friendly…’ she finished awkwardly

‘Oh! I’m sorry,’ Tullia said, beginning to understand. She smiled and felt herself also blushing with embarrassment. She lowered her eyes. When she looked up again, Xashee was still blushing but no longer looked shocked.

For the first time the two Meera realised just how lonely Tullia must be. And how human she was in her own, very different way. It was not easy. She came from the sun. She looked like a Siska. She sang with a rich voice rather than talked. She had special powers. Her healing powers had been yet another confirmation that she was a Daughter of a Goddess.

Unaware of the impression she had created earlier, Tullia did not know whether it was the healing or the kiss or both that had opened up a gulf between her and her companions. It hurt, far more than the cuts and bruising to her legs and the burning of the red patches. Without her twin even in her mind, she was desperate for friendship and acceptance. She took a deep breath.

‘We have had a lovely day in hills. You are the first people I met. Can we be friends. Please?’ She gave Xashee a shy smile.

Xashee had fallen under Tullia’s spell the first time they had met. He was embarrassed. Being with her so closely for the day, watching her, seeing her almost child-like wonder at the paintings, hearing the beauty in her voice, and now feeling the powerful energy flow into him, he was totally captivated. ‘I would like that,’ he replied softly. And blushed again. She seemed even more beautiful now he knew that, at least at times, she was as human as himself.

Tullia felt warmth spread across her face and wondered why.

Tsetsana squeezed her shoulder and softly giggled. The three of them hugged, awkwardly as they were still sitting on the ground. Tullia felt such a joy and a release.
Human at last!
It was such a relief to feel her own age.

They got to their feet and walked back to the village

Xashee kept looking at his leg. He was sure from the pain when Tullia had landed on top of him, and again when he had tried to walk, that he had torn some muscles, yet now he was walking with only a slight limp. And the deep gash had healed well. Leaving a long, faint, pink scar which stood out clearly on his dark brown skin.

It was dark by the time they reached the village. The Meera slowly gathered as they noticed Xashee limping slightly, but all eyes were for Tullia who seemed to be glowing from inside.

Nlai heard a grunt and turned to look at her friend. Kou-’ke was scowling. Puzzled, Nlai looked back, switching her gaze from Tullia to the two Meera. This time she saw the look of adoration on Xashee’s face that was directed not towards Kou-’ke but to the Goddess.

Seated around the family fire a little later, Xashee and Tsetsana started to explain what had happened. Milake, their father, soon gestured to them to stop and went to speak with Ghadi. The leader agreed, Xashee and Tsetsana were to relate the events for the whole tribe.

When the big, communal fire was burning well and the whole tribe gathered around, the two young Meera told their story. To start with, they were subdued. As they got into the relating, their natural abilities took over and they brought the events alive.

Tullia learnt for the first time the impression she had given when she was standing on the hillside that afternoon. It made her uncomfortable. Yet again she was being pictured as a Goddess. When it came to Tsetsana showing how Tullia had fallen on Xashee, wounding him badly, there was a general murmuring of his wound being a sign of his manhood.

The long, bright pink mark was easily seen in the firelight. Murmurs of surprise ran around the Meera. They looked at Tullia with awe. Healers were very important in the lives of all the San tribes. Not only had she healed him, she had not needed the ritual of the dance to do so.

It came as a shock to Tullia when the enactment finished. She had been so wrapped up in the saga that she had felt as if she was watching a scene from the tribe’s history, not a portrayal of herself.

She was relieved that the enactment had stopped with the healing. She realised it would be too much for the youngsters to portray friendship with a person whom everyone else thought of as a Goddess. But that saddened her again, although she was happy that the kiss had also been omitted. She blushed as she thought of it. She sensed all eyes upon her and buried her face in her hands. Feeling an arm around her and sensing the compassion flowing from Deena, she was content to be led to her hut, helped into bed and left alone.

Seated around the fire, Kou-’ke turned to her best friend with a grimace on her face and shook her head. Nlai understood. Kou-’ke and Xashee were almost engaged. The two fifteen-year-old girls did not need to be able to read energy fields to know Xashees’s feelings towards the visitor. Kou-’ke feared that the powerful goddess had come to steal a human mate and worried that she had already chosen Xashee and bewitched him.

Was any man safe? Nlai wondered, thinking of K’dae. And how to compete with a Goddess?

Whilst the tribe accepted that she was the untouchable Daughter of the Goddess, they also saw a powerful young woman of marriageable age. Knowing that feelings have lives independent of the mind, Nlai and Kou-’ke were not the only ones to talk about Tullia’s impact as, grouped together as normal, the young women of the tribe settled down for the night in their several huts. For differing reasons, there was a general hope that Tullia’s developing friendship with Tsetsana indicated that the Goddess was not interested in men.

Like all Tazii of her age, as yet Tullia had no special feelings towards boys. With her comparative immaturity, she was totally unaware that the jealousy she noticed in the girls’ auras was directed towards her, and thus unable to prevent the disastrous events that later were to follow what was supposed to be a joyous celebration.

She was aware of the mixed feelings coming from both Tsetsana and Xashee and worse, the feeling of awe from the whole tribe. She was existing on a knife edge. Without the link to her twin she was only half her self. To make it worse, although a lovely people, the Meera were pushing her away by treating her as if she was a Venerable at the peak of her powers and some great Uddîšû.

Please,
the little girl within begged the Multiverse.
I don’t want to be a Goddess. I just want them to see me!