River's Return (River's End Series, #3) (9 page)

“This. You made me do this. I never would have done it. I would have let her sink farther under water without ever knowing what was wrong with her. I would have been too nice to push or pursue this even though I wanted to. I knew I could help her; but I would have never had the balls to go against society’s norms. That was pretty cool what you did too. You gave me the courage to do it. And I have to tell you, this is the best feeling I’ve ever had in my life. No student has ever made me feel like this. Like I just might actually change the world a little bit today.”

She felt him stepping closer behind her. His body was so big and took up so much space, it was like a radiator, sending heat out farther and hotter than the average person. Or else she was just hyper aware of him. “You did change the world a little bit today, and in a good way. I’m sure I’ve never done anything, but make it a little worse.”

“I sometimes help out with the adult students at the local library. Most of their illiteracy is because English is their second language, which is gratifying. Like so much more than being at school. But this? This was like giving someone the very key to her own brains. Her own abilities. It was… God. It was… overwhelming.”

He leaned his hip against the railing, which only came up to the top of his legs. To Allison, it ended just below her waist. He reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You have to be one of the bravest women I’ve ever met.”

She shook her head and a short, bitter laugh escaped her lips. “Never. No. I’m about the least brave. And this? This was all you. You gave me the courage.”

She glanced up at him and his face was strangely intense and serious in a way she’d never seen him look. “No one’s ever accused me of that before,” he said with a wry smile before he grimaced with self-deprecation. “But who’d have thought we’d make such a good team?”

She smiled up at him before turning to shake off the strange attraction. “Never me. But we were. Thank you for providing this moment for me. I can’t tell you how much I needed it.”

“I think Erin needed it much more,” he said softly.

The twilight added to the otherworldly wonder of how she felt. What a profound day it had been after the most ordinary life. She cleared her throat when she felt sure he was still looking at her. She couldn’t begin to interpret it and smiled nervously as she suddenly said, “I should get home. You need your bike. I have some work to finish before tomorrow.”

He nodded and she passed by him and got into her car. It was a quiet, almost strained, ride to her house after the crazy closeness of the last hour and what happened with so much intensity.

He sat in her car for a prolonged moment after she stopped it in her driveway. “So… you’ll be out at the ranch then? Any idea when that will start?”

“I’ll order what I need tonight, review the first lesson this weekend, and then be able to set a date when I’ll be prepared to start. I just didn’t want to overwhelm her quite yet. Today was a lot for her to process. You going back to Celia’s?”

He shook his head. “Nah. Had some thoughts about this exhaust system I’m installing; might go finish that.” He shrugged and smiled, almost shyly. “To be honest? I feel all inspired like I should kind of… I don’t know… pay homage to what I can do. Appreciate it, you know what I mean? Go do what I’m truly capable of, so…”

“That’s really about the most flattering thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“It is?” His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

“Yes. I inspired you to be your best. So yes.”

He nodded and got out with a last smile and a wave. Jumping on his bike, he was instantly gone as she stood on her front stoop, watching him fade into the distance. Again, she felt that weird blip near her heart, that pang of what? Disappointment he was gone.

It must have been owing to his dominant personality. When Shane was around, there was no way of forgetting him. He was so big, so talkative, and so charming, not to mention, always being there, he was impossible not to notice or respond to. Allison was reacting to his sheer size and presence, not the moment they shared on the porch. No. No way was there really a moment.

Chapter Five

SHANE BANGED HARD ON the new brace he welded to the undercarriage of the truck. It was solid. It wasn’t going anywhere and would easily hold the new suspension he previously added. He slid out from under the truck with a happy grin. It had been awhile since he felt so proud about accomplishing something. Then again, when had he ever taken much pride in what he could do? He’d been taking things apart and putting them back together since he was six years old. Dad got pissed as hell when he took apart the old, vintage radio he found stashed in one of the barns. It was a relic, one of those standalone kinds that hadn’t been seen for fifty or more years. Still, Shane wanted to examine the guts of it and see what made it tick. He spent several afternoons in his spare time dissembling the apparatus and laying all the parts around him. It looked like utter chaos. Like he ripped the thing apart in a fit of temper. But he hadn’t. He very carefully and meticulously took each wire and fitting out. He knew exactly where everything was located. He also knew exactly how to put it back together. But Dad discovered it before he had a chance to do so. He nearly lost his mind at Shane, and yelled until his face turned red. How could Shane ruin the stereo? It was a treasured heirloom from Shane’s grandparents, Shane’s dad’s parents. Shane’s father kept it all these years, fully intending to have it fixed someday and get it working again like it was when his dad was young.

His dad refused to listen when Shane tried to explain that he did fix it. Or at least, Shane found the bad wire and was ready to put it all back together. But his dad, in a fit of ill temper, swiped all the parts everywhere with his arm, thus messing up their placement order. His action prevented Shane from fixing it again, and he got grounded for three weeks before the old stereo was ultimately thrown out.

From then on, Shane kept his curiosity confined to old farm equipment or items he had explicit permission to tear apart and put back together. Dad never got mad at that. He could tinker and mess up all the old shit he wanted.

Later on Shane moved onto cars, trucks, tractors, the list was endless and everyone knew where they could drop any broken-down tractors, trucks, or combines… basically anything in need of repair that was made from metal and had a motor ended up on Shane’s doorstep.

After his parents died, he retreated into his own world of all the scrap junk he could explore and tinker with. He was thirteen when he took over the shop he now worked in. The shop was previously used to house a bunch of vehicles from Rydell history. They included some pretty ancient ploughs, as well as several rusted out old models of trucks. Shane fixed almost all of the old equipment and hauled everything out over the years, finding different carports and storage sheds to keep them in. Eventually, he started using the entire shop. He always had about five projects going at once, and a good twenty more sitting around, things he planned to get to someday. He needed that much variety. He rarely worked on one thing at a time until it was done, but did several at once, which helped him focus better. He usually kept his shop locked because if anyone messed with one of his ongoing projects, he was screwed.

To an outsider, it looked like a total jumble of parts and scraps surrounding each individual project, but in reality, Shane knew exactly where each and every piece was, as well as why he placed it there. His photographic memory could recall every single component, but only as long as no one messed with his filing process. He spent most of his time in the shop. In his teen-aged years, he hid inside there on afternoons and weekends. That is, whenever he wasn’t out carousing, or causing trouble, or hanging with his friends.

Jack approved wholeheartedly of Shane’s hobby and natural resourcefulness when it came to keeping the ranch stocked with running vehicles. Shane’s free labor and all he provided did not go unappreciated by Jack. But his dad never ceased trying to make Shane do more chores around the ranch. Cleaning the stalls, feeding the horses, maintaining the tack… Shane did them all. And hated every moment of it.

The last time he saw his parents, Dad in particular, Shane was ten years old.

Shane never felt like his dad approved of him. He always knew he was not what his dad wanted in a son. But since his dad had the older two boys, who were
exactly
what he wanted, Shane could never quite figure out why it mattered so much to him.

After watching Erin realize the obstacle that kept her from becoming who she should have become, Shane kept reliving the entire confrontation, over and over. Allison’s handling of her impressed him the most. She was so knowledgeable, confident, and in control. A natural and total leader. She was well spoken, showing just enough emotion to come off as being totally trustworthy. Shane nearly jumped up and proclaimed he’d do whatever Allison asked.

Her eyes were bright and knowledgeable. Hearing her words and her effortless articulation was captivating. She became so much more to Shane than a clump of red hair, or a teacher with a great smile; she grew irresistibly enchanting. Shane could not take his eyes off her. He never had a moment like that. With anyone.
Ever
. No one ever managed to capture his undivided attention. Or overcome his usual apathy; and yes, what seemed to be a total inability to focus on one thing. He was notorious for being a screw-up, often called lazy, not to mention, aloof.

And Allison? She took Shane’s breath away. So calming, and serious, and intense. He would trust her and believe anything she said. A hypnotic quality in her voice coaxed Shane’s mind into a refreshing kind of peace; and he was instantly convinced she knew exactly what she was talking about. It was also strangely sexy to him. And not because of her hair color, eye color or breast size. It was so much more than that. So much deeper than that. What Shane felt was visceral, and his reaction to her rose to a level he never felt with any other human being.

When she was suddenly plastered against him, and hanging on him, sure as shit, her breast size mattered. Like a sucker punch to his stomach was how quickly his entire body jolted from being in awe of her, and experiencing a hands-off vibe, like she was some kind of angel walking amongst us, to becoming a primal caveman. Shane’s entire body was ignited with desire for this woman. Her breasts were smashing against his chest and all he could think was how perfectly she fit him. Her head came just to his chin and she tucked in so nicely against his heart. He wasn’t sure any woman ever fit there as ideally as she did.

It was odd and new for him to feel lust that was all-consuming and straightforward. How could he be lusting after a woman whom he formerly admired solely for her brain, integrity, and overall sincerity? That never happened to him before. At least, not both at once: respect and lust? He could not deny his gnawing interest in her mind and wondered what she would say to him if she knew how badly he wanted to kiss her senseless.

It must have been due to the circumstances. They had become extremely intense for everyone involved. It was all the high stress and heightened emotions of the moment that caused it to happen. He nearly convinced himself to believe that.

Still she did something that no one,
absolutely no one
, in his entire life ever succeeded in doing: she inspired him to go back to work. No, she did not have to lecture him, or nag at him, or demand that he do it. No, she simply demonstrated how professionally she did her work and felt so rewarded afterwards, that he wanted to feel the same damn way. He couldn’t teach or change Erin’s life, but he could do something else that his brain was hard-wired for: tinkering. Never having taken a basic mechanics class in his life, and an infrequent reader of the damn how-to manuals, Shane could fix anything because he simply put his mind to doing it.

For the last five days, Shane was working ten hours a day. He finished the Ford a good three months before he predicted. He couldn’t stop once he got started again. He became obsessed with it. Never, ever, not even one time, had Shane become obsessed with any project.

He was so busy, he didn’t see Celia all that week, or anyone else. Not even Allison. That was good. Their last meeting meant so much, and was so intense, it was something he could never get used to, or seeing her all the time. No. Not his way. That was too intimate. They were building a friendship, since he couldn’t deny he just might feel something towards her like friendship, which was really new for him. Shane did not make friends with the ladies. Never. Not once. He was friendly, and he flirted, and lusted, and talked to women; but he wasn’t ever friends with them.

However, he really liked to talk to Allison. He loved it, in fact, which was a brand new experience for him. He didn’t know how much he’d like having a woman for a friend. But he was starting to enjoy it. She was special. Different. Of course, he saw that. So why not consider her a friend? He valued it as an honor if she called him one of her friends. She was that impressive to Shane. Not just for her smarts, major accomplishments, obvious sophistication, or morality, but because she had a way of looking at the world that he kind of liked better than his own way. And most people didn’t make him feel as comfortable as Allison did.

He didn’t want to see Celia. So consequently, he wasn’t seeing Allison.

He stood up and stretched the kinks in his neck. He was all hunched up over the Ford cab. He’d been at it since breakfast, and had no lunch. Now it was fast approaching seven o’clock. He needed a break. Should he see Celia? He shook his head. Damn. No, it was Saturday. Jett would be home. He walked out of the shop and glanced at the house, which was dark. The family must have gone out for dinner. He sighed in the quiet night, observing the stars overhead. It was cold and his warm breath looked like smoke when he exhaled. He grabbed his keys and coat from the hooks in the shop and decided to go out for dinner. Or just take a drive.

He was in town when he passed Allison’s house and noticed her lights were on downstairs. He didn’t know why he slowed down his truck and turned off or why he was suddenly in her driveway. What was he doing there? Visiting her? It was odd and weird; and not representative of their relationship. But still… he was there now. He shrugged. Well, why not? As friends, why couldn’t he come over to hang out with her?

He knocked on her front door, feeling strangely out of place and almost… nervous. Yeah,
almost
nervous. No one could actually make him nervous. Why would he worry about visiting the prim, polished school teacher?

She opened the door and her eyes widened with surprise, “Shane?” she said as she glanced past him. “It’s Saturday night; isn’t Jett home?”

He dug his hands into his pockets. “I didn’t come from Celia’s,” he grumbled.

She noticed his truck. “Where’s your bike?”

“Too cold outside. Can I come in?”

“Oh. Right. Sure,” she said, and a lovely blush tinged her cheeks. Anything he said could turn her face and cheeks pink.  He found himself wondering how much of her body blushed. Then, how many freckles did she have everywhere? Shaking his head, he scolded himself. It was too weird to be thinking about teacher’s body parts.

He walked into her house and saw she had papers and some small, colored tiles spread over her coffee table with a tablet that was paused on a video. His gaze fastened on her. Standing silhouetted against the kitchen light in casual pants and a t-shirt, her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She patted her hair back with a self-conscious half smile. “I was working and haven’t really done much today.”

For once, Allison Gray was kind of discombobulated. It was a huge change. He never really caught her off guard before. Grinning at her, he shook his head. “What are you working on?”

“Well, I got the first level of the tutoring program for Erin; I watched the video and kind of practiced to make sure I have a handle on it.”

“Really? What is it?”

Allison hurried forward and dropped to her knees before leaning over the table, and gathering up papers and colored tiles. “You really want to see?”

“Yeah, I really do,” he said, sitting down next to her. He couldn’t fit his knees under the table so he reclined on his butt with his back pressed against the couch. His own curiosity surprised him and he wasn’t lying when he said he really did want to know what all the stuff was used for. How could it possibly help a woman who couldn’t process language and letters for thirty years of her life?

“I’ll show you,” she said, looking up with a huge grin. She started mentioning things about
phonemes
and small units of sound, explaining that Erin’s brain might not have formed them; and therefore, she lacked the basic building blocks to decode one-syllable words. The colored tiles represented the sounds so Allison could start to train Erin’s brain to hear the sounds and sequences in ways she, most likely, could not right now.

“She’ll, no doubt, complain that I’ve demoted her to preschool, but that’s actually where she needs to start. It builds from there. She’d old enough that I think I’ll push her harder than I would younger students. I think I can have her reading simple sentences in as soon as a few months.”

“You’re serious? This is really happening?” Shane felt a weird gurgle of excitement bubble up in his chest. It sounded so cool. Even though he had nothing to do with it, he felt somehow strangely included and possibly even a part of the solution. It was a new sensation for him. He listened to Allison’s explanation carefully. He was starting to get as intrigued as her animated expression suggested she was. Shane never saw her like this: so interested, engaged, and  inflamed.