Roadside Bodhisattva (14 page)

“You just haven’t seen anything with boobs besides me for too long.”

“That’s not true. Yasmine—”

“Oh, Christ, don’t compare me to that old cow! I’m talking about other babes my age.”

“Uh, just how old are you, Sue? I never asked.”

“Seventeen. You?”

“Sixteen.”

“What a baby!”

“Am not!” As soon as I said this, I realized I sounded totally four years old.

“Are too. But that’s okay. I like younger men good enough. When I can’t get older ones, that is.”

The image of the couple who had just rented a cabin swam up in front of my eyes. I pictured Sue hooking up with some skeazy geezer, and started feeling a little sick. But then I started thinking about Jack and Japhy, how they had always picked up younger chicks for their fun. Did that make Jack a sleazebag? And as far as I could remember, the Prophet didn’t weigh in on the issue of old guys with young babes at all. I didn’t know what to think.

Sue said, “You done, Kid? I wanna wash the dishes before I head into town.”

It was now or never. “Sue, how about if I came with you?”

Sue smiled big. “Well, well, well, I thought you’d never ask. I wondered how long it would take you to get sick of laying around in your trailer with your earbuds in. Sure, we’ll go into town together. You’ll meet my friends.”

That prospect didn’t sound too thrilling. Somehow I had pictured having Sue all to myself in town. But it only made sense that she had to be hanging with some bunch of friends.

“Well, great. I’m sure they’ll be cool. When are we leaving?”

Sue dropped her cigarette into her untouched soda, and it sizzled dead. “Right now.”

“Can I change up first?”

“Sure. Most of your clothes are still in the wash, though. But I can find you something. Hold on.”

Sue left the kitchen and came back in a minute with some clean jeans and a blue t-shirt that said action auto parts. And it was only then that it hit me.

These were Tony’s clothes. They had belonged to Ann’s dead son. I had been wearing a ghost’s clothes in front of his mother. Ann must think I was pretty okay to let me borrow these clothes, and not freak when she saw me in them. Angie was another story. The way he dressed, I figured he’d have a hard time remembering what anyone else had ever worn.

I think Sue understood what was going through my head, because she got a little more soft around the edges than she usually was.

“Take your time changing up. It’s still early. I’ll meet you outside, in the car.”

“Should we tell Ann and Sid we’re leaving?”

Sue’s soft side disappeared as quickly as it had popped up. “Jesus, you really are a baby, aren’t you? Haven’t you learned yet that nobody can tell you ‘no’ if you don’t tell them what you’re planning in the first place? Now, hustle!”

Sue went out the door, and I went into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and checked myself out in the mirror. Whatever I saw there would have to do.

Ann’s car was a monster, some ancient faded white rust-spotted boat from before the time when gasoline cost over two dollars a gallon. The front seat was one long bench covered in some kinda weird vinyl stuff. A knitted afghan draped over the upper part of the front seat and across the rest of the bench hid most of the rips.

Sue was already behind the wheel, with the motor turning over roughly. I got in.

“Wanna drive?”

“I don’t have a license. I grew up in the city. Nobody my age had a license.”

Sue snorted. “Baby”

Then she peeled out.

The car was so old the radio only got AM stations, and there was nothing on them but talk shows and news. So Sue and I had to pass the drive to Lumberton with conversation. That was okay by me. For a few miles Sue conducted a tour, pointing out various sights, including the small house where Sonny the cook lived with his sister Evelyn. Then I listened to her bitch about her folks for a while, before I told her a little about mine. But that got old fast So I told her how Sid had caused Yasmine to lose it just a short while ago.

Sue laughed. “Serves that bitch right! She thinks she can wrap anyone around her little finger, especially men. But your buddy’s immune. He’s something else, Sid. I’ve never seen anyone quite like him. He seems to know just what buttons to push to get whatever result he wants. How long have you know him? Has he always been that sharp?”

Admitting I had just met Sid just a couple of weeks ago would’ve sounded really stupid. “Oh, we go back a ways. I can honestly say he’s been just like you see him, for as long as I’ve known him.”

“I hope he and Aunt Ann get it on. She needs a man in her life. My candy-ass uncle knocked her for a loop when he cut and ran on her.”

“Sid say’s there’s nothing going on between them.”

“Yeah, right, of course he’s gonna say that. Old people are messed-up when it comes to sex. They like to hide things. I can’t figure out why, but they do.”

“Not Sid. He always plays straight with everyone. He’s not ashamed or frightened of anything. And he knows a lot about a lot of stuff. He’ll tell you just what he’s thinking, and tough shit if you don’t like it.”

“Maybe. Maybe that’s true nearly all the time. But sex changes everything. Hey, speaking of which, you still got that condom I gave you? Maybe you’ll get lucky tonight.”

I looked out the window. Night had come down while we drove. The scattered businesses and long stretches of trees on Route I had been replaced by urban streets with sidewalks, buildings packed more tightly together, all lit by harsh streetlights. Some small factories, three-story tenements with broken plastic toys in their yards, a garage advertising collision service, empty lots full of litter and shopping carts. Once on the web I had seen some pictures of Lowell, Massachusetts, where Jack had grown up. If this was Lumberton, it reminded me of Lowell. A lot smaller and crummier than what I was used to back home.

Looking back to Sue, I said, “Yeah, I got it right here.” I patted one pocket. “But something tells me that’s exactly where it’s going to stay.”

Sue shrugged. “Never know.” She took a cigarette out of the pack in her bib, then reached forward and pushed in something sticking out of the dashboard.

“What’s that?”

“Watch.”

In a short time the gadget popped out and Sue removed it. She showed me a hot coil inside before she applied it to her cigarette. “Dashboard lighter. Man, when this car was built, people knew what was important. They knew how to
live
!”

Several turns took us onto a dead-end street of triple-deckers. We parked in front of one with peeling green paint and a waist-high chainlink fence around its tiny yard. A lopsided one-car garage stood next to the house. The yard was full of dogshit that had killed most of the grass. I almost didn’t want to get out of the car, but by the time Sue had already reached the gate, I knew I had to.

We went down the short cement walkway and up a few steps, onto a rickety porch with an old busted-up couch on it. Music boomed from inside. Not my kind, but Sue’s. Hip-hop and rap.

Sue had to bang hard on the door to make sure the people inside would hear her. It opened up a minute later.

The guy who appeared was brown-skinned, maybe Hispanic. Shaggy black hair, thick mustache, bad complexion, deep-set eyes hard to make out in the bad light. He got excited to see Sue.

“Hey,
chica,
welcome back! Jayzee’ll be glad to see you.” The guy spotted me. “You bring your little brother with you?”

I had to bite my tongue not to say something smartass, and Sue must’ve known this guy’s words hurt, because she banged her hip against mine like there was more between us than there really was.

“This is a guy I work with. Kid A. He’s all right. Kid A, this is Tito.”

I stuck out my hand and Tito shook it in some kinda weird complicated way I couldn’t really respond to. “Cool. C’mon in.”

The front door led to a tiny entry hall. A giant sack of dry dog food took up most of the space. A rip in the sack had spilled a pile of kibble onto the floor. The food pebbles crunched as we walked across them. Tito opened the inner door.

The large room beyond was lit with dozens of strings of Christmas lights, no lamps. The lights were strung high up from every possible place, so they made a kind of web above everybody’s head. Some of the strings twinkled. The room was full of smoke, dope smoke as best as I could tell. I hadn’t smoked a lot of dope in my life. In fact, only twice.

Two couches and at least half a dozen upholstered chairs, all of them pretty grungy, took up most of the floor space. And about twenty people took up most of the furniture. Guys and women, sprawled every which way, some about as old as me and Sue, some older. The music came from big speakers on the far side of the room. A tv with the sound off flashed in one corner, some raunchy music video or the playboy channel, maybe. The colored lights overhead made the whole scene weird, especially people’s faces.

Sue and Tito and me entered. Me and Sue stopped near the door, while Tito moved off to rejoin his buddies. Some people turned to look at us, half interested, half bored, while others kept on talking or smoking. Some of the smokers had bongs, some joints, some blunts. A guy and a girl were trying to slow-dance in a corner, but kept bumping into furniture and tripping over each other and laughing. People drank from forty-ounces too.

One guy when he saw us jumped up. He was followed by two dogs who had been resting at his feet. Big pitbulls, one black, one spotted. Carrying a lit joint, the guy took a few steps right up to us, the dogs alongside him.

He was a black guy, wearing one of those velvety track suits where the top matches the pants. Tan and brown fabric, as far as I could tell under the crazy lights. His hair was short on his head and trimmed neat on his face, mainly around his mouth and chin. He seemed pretty buff underneath the loose suit.

“Little Miz Motel Maid! How’s life out at Horndog Park? They put any soundproofing in them cabins yet? Where you been keeping yourself? Busy providing some extra services to the customers?”

“Fuck you, Jayzee!” said Sue, but she didn’t really sound angry.

I didn’t say anything. I was too busy staying real still while the dogs sniffed me up and down. They weren’t bothering Sue, probably because they knew her already.

“Hey, now, is that what you call being friendly? Give ol’ Jayzee a kiss.”

Jayzee pulled Sue up tight against him. She didn’t fight him. They kissed for a long time, but I didn’t watch it all. I was too busy with the dogs. The black one had his head in my crotch, and the spotted one had his up my butt. I could swear their noses were meeting in the middle.

When Sue and Jayzee broke apart, Sue said, “Jayzee, this is my buddy, Kid A.”

Jayzee held up his hand and I slapped it half-heartedly.

“Friend of Sue’s okay ‘round here. Booger! Ratboy! Get your damn noses outta there! Go to your beds!”

The dogs yipped as Jayzee whacked their rears, but they pulled away from me without biting, and I could breathe normally again. Their owner shooed both of them away, and they trotted out of the room.

“Sorry about that, Kid. Hey, what kinda host am I? Here!”

Jayzee stuck his joint between Sue’s lips. She took a deep pull and passed it on to me. I took a little bit of the smoke just in my cheeks, then gave the joint back to Jayzee. Sue let loose a big cloud, and I let my smoke go too, figuring my little puff would get hidden in her cloud.

“Make yourself at home, Kid. Me and Sue gotta catch up.”

Jayzee walked Sue back to the chair he had been sitting in. He dropped down and pulled her into his lap. I turned away.

I found a spot on the floor near one of the speakers and sat down. The rap rattled my bones, but I figured no one would try to talk to me there.

Here I was, at one of those wild and crazy parties like Jack and Japhy had always been throwing or crashing. How come I didn’t feel like Jack always did, like I was in contact with something more real than everyday life? I didn’t know any of these people and I didn’t really want to get to know them. They looked like a bunch of slackers and losers. I knew their type from school. Wasted every day, some of them pleasant enough maybe in their fucked-up way, but never really accomplishing anything. I had to wonder what Sue saw in this crowd. I wanted to meet people who were smart and funny and curious and sharp. Like Sid.

After about ten minutes a white girl came over to me. She had short blonde hair streaked pink. She wore a shirt that said what part of “fuck off” don’t you understand?, low-rider jeans that showed off a ring through her navel, and big clunky loafers with stacked heels.

She smiled at me and yelled, “What’s up! I’m Lita!”

“Kid A!”

“You don’t look too comfortable here!”

“I’m okay!”

She stretched out her hand. “Come with me!”

What the hell. I grabbed her hand, stood up, and let her lead me away, out of the Christmas light room.

As we left, I looked back.

Jayzee and Sue sat together still, but they weren’t talking any more.

Lita brought me to the apartment’s kitchen. A door in the outer wall, next to a single window framing total blackness. A sink piled high with dirty dishes and pots. Filthy linoleum with paw prints. Four guys sat around one of those retro kitchen tables with the aluminum legs. They were playing cards, and didn’t bother with us.