Rule #9 (19 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

My mom continues to send me daily texts. They’re not enough. I need to hear her voice. I place a call to her at two in the morning, London time. She’s trying to give my dad and me uninterrupted time alone in hopes that we’ll heal. She knows me. But I also know my mom better than anyone.

I’ve researched the time difference between Colorado and London. At two in the morning she won’t think straight—she can’t—especially while she’s away. She works overtime and sleeps little. If the phone rings in the middle of the night, she’ll worry that there’s an issue with either with me or work. And she’ll worry even more that there may be something wrong with me.

“Yes. Hello.” Her words are slurred and sleepy.

“Mom.” There’s relief in my voice.

“Massie.” Now her voice sounds worried.

“Sorry, Mom, I had to call you.” I lie on her bed and spray her perfume on one of her pillows. The spice, without the minerals of her skin, smells different, but it still soothes me. “I needed to hear your voice. I know you’re avoiding me, forcing me to give this crazy new family a chance.”

“Is it working?” Her voice is more relaxed.

“Yes, I’m giving in a little. And they aren’t that bad.”

“See, I told you.”

“Dad’s still an idiot.”

She doesn’t comment. We talk for an hour. I fill her in on everything, including Jack. She doesn’t like that she’s missing out on this. She has to approve of all the boys I date before I can go out with them.

“It’s not my fault you abandoned me,” I say.

“Strong words.” The tone of her voice is calling my bluff.

“It’s all good, Mom. I told him that he still needs your approval.”

“Does he have manners?” She asks.

“Yes, Mom.”

“Does he complain?”

“No, Mom.”

“Does he like Power Rangers?”

“I don’t know, Mom.”

“You better find out. How about orange, does he like the color orange?”

“I think so, but it’s the wrong orange. He’s a Bengals fan.”

“Okay. Is he nice?” She doesn’t care about football.

“Yes, Mom, he’s very nice.”

My mom’s questions stem from a list I wrote when I was in first grade. What I didn’t want in a boy and what I did want in a boy. She still has the list tucked in a frame in her office. My mom said that my simple list from when I was seven years old made sense then and, for the most part, makes sense now. It weeds out most dirtbags, anyway. I always forget to use it.

What I don’t want in a boy:

1. No manners.

2. No complaining.

3. No meanies.

What I want in a boy:

1. Likes Power Rangers.

2. Kisses me after work.

3. Is nice.

4. Likes orange

5. Plays football.

6. Most of all loves me.

Before hanging up my mom says, “Love you, Massie. You are my world. I’m so proud of who you are.”

”I love you too, Mom. Hurry home. I miss you.” And while I really want her home, there is a part of me that is starting to enjoy my surroundings. Especially when they include Jack.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Jack and I meet with Benny to finish our vases. Well, I work at finishing my vase. Jack is working on some printmaking thing with clay. He won’t show me. I don’t know much about it. Maybe I should take an art class. Benny paints slowly and deliberately on his work. The outside of his mug is has a coat of cream paint. He has painted a thin black line around the rim and is now working on a flower that is black with an orange eye. The green stem swirls around the handle of the cup.

Since we don’t have school today because of some teacher in-service, we spend most of the day at Bianca’s shop. Bianca’s crush on Benny is more than obvious. He doesn’t show any interest back. He should totally go for her. He has a long life ahead of him. It doesn’t make sense that he spends those years alone.

I decide to paint an abstract on my vase. This allows me to focus more on the colors than the design. It’s hard for me to paint. I lack the talent or the patience. Jack can do it all. Jack painted palm trees on his vase. He sketched the beach and shells into the clay while it was still wet.

Benny watches Jack sketch into the eight-by-ten clay stamp. “That’s amazing, Jack.”

“I want to see.” I try to sneak a peek.

“You just mind your business, girl.” Jack pulls the stamp closer to him. I don’t know what he’s doing, but his eyes dart from me to his sketch all morning. It makes me nervous.

Benny looks at me then at Jack. “She’s pretty, isn’t she?”

Jack nods. I blush.

“I don’t know how you concentrate on anything with that woman gazing at ya all day.” Jack raises his head, catching Bianca’s eye. Then he looks to me and winks.

I’m still pink but so is Bianca.

“No more women for me,” Benny says. ”I’ve had the love of my life, and I’ve lived in hell. I don’t need anyone.”

Bianca drops her head. I feel so bad for her.

“Ya ain’t glue bait yet. Don’t ya wanna be happy?”

“And who says I’m not happy, young man?”

“The look on your face when Bianca walks into a room tells it all. It gives you away. The way you strain to read her soul. Your eyes meet and you can’t break away. I see it. You can deny it all you want, but I see it. I saw it with my daddy when he met Sissy. I see it when Mr. Trask looks at your daughter.”

“Who’s Sissy?” I ask.

“My stepmom. Lily’s mamma.” Jack says.

Bianca stalls. She’s listening. She acts like she’s organizing brushes but she’s listening. I only know this because I do it, too.

“I’m scared of the dragons. What do you think, Mazzie?” Benny asks me.

“I think you should do what makes you happy,” I say.

“But do I deserve to be happy?” Benny asks.

I look over to Bianca. She’s so pretty. Her large deep brown eyes make me feel safe. And when Benny looks at those same eyes, they make him jolt. I’ve seen it. “Everyone deserves happiness,” I say. Then I grin at Bianca.

“Do you really believe that?” Benny asks.

I know he is asking more than the simple question. I turn to the man that once annoyed me. “I know one thing. Alicia isn’t the dragon,” I say.

Poor Jack, he’s thoroughly confused. Benny, on the other hand, isn’t.

This man that I spent the last three weeks with has figured me out. He’s mutated into my brain like my mother does. He has that way of making me look inside myself. But I can also see inside him.

“When you look inside yourself without hiding, you find your demons. Then you must decide what to do with them,” I say.

He shakes his head. But he’s not mad. Along with the shake is a smile that reaches his eyes. We see inside of each other. We know our dragons. And I believe he knows that I have found mine, and I plan on dealing with the big scary monster, or at least I’ll try to.

I’m not mad at Alicia. I’m mad at my father. And I don’t think my father deserves happiness. He cheated on my mom, he left me. He started a new life without us. But now I’m supposed to fit into his new world without questioning it. I can’t. I won’t. But I see. And I see the difference between me and my friends. Rule number nine, we don’t have the same experiences and we can’t make our miseries others’.

Natalie and Vianna fathers didn’t cheat on their mothers. Natalie desperately wants, needs, and longs for her father’s love and approval. Natalie and her brother were adopted; her mom couldn’t have kids. Natalie was worried that her father would love Annabelle more, but now Natalie loves her baby sister more than she loves her own brother, and this makes her feel guilty.

Vianna’s parents divorced the year she started middle school. Her dad couldn’t live alone. He had a new girlfriend every week. Those women never compared to Vianna’s mom, though. In the beginning, Vianna’s mom took care of her husband. He barely lifted a finger. She cooked, she cleaned, and she supported her husband. But she grew bored so she decided to write. Why not? She hadn’t received a journalism degree for nothing.

But what Vianna’s dad wanted for Vianna, he didn’t want for his wife. Vianna’s dad wanted a wife that would stay at home and take care of him. In return, he would provide. He felt like less of a provider when Vianna’s mom’s fourth book sold and she opened her own checking account.

Vianna and Natalie are mad at the women who took away their fathers because now my friends are forced to compete with these women. I’m mad at my father for making me feel like I need to compete, when I don’t.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Groups of parents and students caravan south for the varsity game. It’s already dark. I love going to games underneath the lights. Vianna and I ride with Alicia, Lily, and Benny. Natalie refuses to come out of the house, even though Annabelle is fine and her dad has actually apologized a million times. She’s staying home with her mom tonight. Vianna, Benny, and I play a Bingo I Spy board game that Alicia has stuck between the seats of the SUV. Benny’s winning for the second time.

I read the cap from my tea: “Did you know the space between your eyebrows is called a
nasion
?”

“Papi, you don’t have that.” Alicia laughs.

I scrutinize Benny’s face. He has one, but it’s real small. I could wax it for him. Ooh, yuck, that’s way too personal. Even though Benny and I are good now, I won’t do it. I won’t even bring it up.

“I think you’re cheating.” Vianna’s eyes narrow at Benny. She leans over and looks at his board. “There’s no way you saw a cow in the city.”

“First, you look like you lost your nasion,” Benny says. “Second, we passed a milk plant and there was a cow on the logo. It does not say ‘live cow’ on the game board. It only says ‘cow.’”

Alicia shakes her head and looks back at him in her rearview mirror. “Papi, that’s not fair. Place nice.”

“Fine, then. Bingo!” Vianna shouts. “I saw the cow too.”

“We can play your way, I’ll take the cow off.” Benny backstrokes.

“No way, Mr. Morales, you lost.” Vianna slaps me a high five.

#

Stallions win in overtime, 31–28. The game was a good matchup. But even though we won, I know my dad will make sure the defense runs on Monday. Too many holes allowed the other team’s offense to score points, which caused our offense to have to fight harder. It doesn’t matter how many more points illuminated our side of the scoreboard. My dad will argue that that only means our offensive line succeeded and our defense needs to pull their heads out of their asses.

Coaches make men out of boys. It’s high school football, not a rec league anymore. If you play, you put your big boy pants on—that’s what my dad says. They go in as boys their freshman year, and by the time they’re sophomores, they grow up—a little anyway. And, from my perspective, that’s a good thing. I like them strong. There’s a reason I’ve never dated a freshman.

I don’t like away games. The players ride home on the bus. It’s not an option. The players can’t ride home with friends, for obvious safety reasons. If they ride with their parents, they’re teased. And there isn’t room on the bus for anyone but the players, coaches, and trainers. Not that I want to ride on that stinky bus. A single nasty gym bag smells like a meadow of flowers compared to the dozens of bags the bus carries back to Pine Gulch.

Vianna catches a ride back with Andrew’s girlfriend after the game. They are meeting up with Andrew and Hunter for a late movie. Lily drops Benny, Alicia, and me off at my dad’s house. I don’t even go inside.

“Don’t say out too late, hijita,” Benny says as I walk to my car on the other side of the garage. Benny has ignored my warning about wasting time organizing because my father will only mess it up, and continues to keep the space clean. I think he stays out here because that is where he has all the good food hidden.

“Papi,” Alicia says in a whisper while she crosses her eyes.

“What?” Benny arches his back so he looks taller than his five foot, six inches. “She shouldn’t stay out too late. She’s only in high school.”

Alicia slips her arm through her father’s. “Massie knows her curfew. She doesn’t need you bossing her, too.” She looks at me. “Have fun.” Then I hear her whisper, “Why are you calling her hijita?”

Sting. I never even considered that she would want to keep me away from her dad. What comes around really does go around, and now I’m getting mine.

Edna and I hit the pavement. I’m picking up Jack from the school. The bus pulls out of the parking lot as I pull in. Perfect timing. Most of the players have their cars at the school. I, along with half a dozen parents, sit in line, waiting for the players without cars. A woman with sleek, jet-black hair waits next to the bench in front of the school. Her lips are red like the hotrod parked in the student section; she sucks smoke from her cigarette.

She’s old enough to be a mom but dresses like a teenager, kind of. Her outfit doesn’t work for her. Her jeans are skintight, her heels are too high, and her shirt is too low at the top and too high at the bottom. She’s got to be cold even with that awful fur thing she’s wearing. I feel sorry for the kid who belongs to her.

Jack finally exits the building and the woman stands. She wiggles her ass toward him. Oh, no. It’s like a grown-up version of Sidney.

Jack freezes and looks around. I can’t tell if he’s trying to escape or what. Regardless, it’s too late. She slides her arm through his. He pulls the cigarette out of her mouth and stomps on it, then holds her arm and walks her quickly to my car.

Jack opens the door. “I’ll sit in back. Get in, Mama.” He piles into the rear of my car with his stinky bag. I don’t say anything. He barely fits. His legs press against his chest. “Mama, get in!” It’s almost cute how his Southern accent explodes. But the desperation in his voice rips at my heart.

The woman he calls Mama surveys the grounds of the school. “This is real nice. Your daddy seen this place?”

“Mama. Get. In. The car.” His face is panicked. I feel horrible for him. His choice A is to persuade this woman into my car so we can hightail it out of the parking lot, and his choice B is to find a ride from one of the other football players and risk more students and faculty seeing her.

“Okay, baby, okay.” She obeys, then eyes me. “Oh.” She pauses. “This is your girlfriend?” She inspects every part of my body like she’s grading a cow. And, trust me, I’m not choice beef in her eyes. Sidney would impress her more.

“Yes, Mama, this is my girlfriend. Massie.”

“Honey, I can help you with your makeup and clothes…even though you don’t have enough on top to shake a stick at.” She actually points at my chest.

“Mama. Stop.” His head slams against the front seat. “Where you staying?”

“I got a room at a motel in the next town over. It’s too expensive to stay here. I was thinking…” She pauses. “…I could stay with you and your daddy.” She looks hopeful. “Is that nasty wife of his is still in Kentucky? Are they having issues yet?”

“Daddy’s in Afghanistan,” he says. Jack won’t even look at me.

“Billy left me. So I’m a free woman now. We can go get my stuff. I didn’t bring much. Can I stay with you?”

“Did he hurt you?” His voice shakes.

“Not bad, sugar. I’m okay. You can’t do anything. I can’t have you going back to jail for me. Your daddy would be.”

“Mama. Stop. Now.”

“Who you staying with?” she asks.

“Lily, Mama, I’m living with her until Daddy gets back. Then he and Sissy will move up here together.”

“Sissy,” she hisses, and then looks out her window. “What kind of name is that for a stepmother? Stepmothers are horrible creatures. Didn’t the Disney channel teach you anything?”

Jack calls his stepmom Sissy. Her real name is Sally. Everyone else calls her Sis. Jack calls her Sissy because he doesn’t like the name Sis. After Jack came into the picture, Lily started calling her mom Sissy, too. When Jack and Lily speak of this woman, their eyes light up. Jack’s eyes aren’t lighting up for his mother.

“Mama, we’re taking you to the motel. You can’t stay with me.”

This woman caresses the dash of my car. “Did your daddy get you this car? Is he single?” She rolls down the window. Pulls out a cigarette and fires it up.

“Mama,” he yanks it out of her mouth and tosses it out the window. Crap, he could start a fire. I keep my mouth shut. “Massie, take us to my house.”

“Boy, where are your manners?”

“Please, Massie.”

“You sure?” I ask.

“That’s what he said, Massie, listen to the boy.” Wow. I’m relieved this isn’t the woman I need to impress.

When we get to Jack’s house, his mom—I never found out her name—can’t jump out of my car fast enough. She lights a cigarette the second her heels hit the cement. She moves quickly to the front door. Jack races toward his mom without saying goodbye. I sit wondering what the hell just happened.