See Through Me (Lose My Senses) (11 page)

“
Go,” I whispered to Ash. This was my problem, not his.

Ash kept his eyes on his father.

“You have to go!” I stood on my toes and whispered frantically in his ear. “I can take care of this by myself.”

“
I’m not leaving you alone with him.” He stepped in front of me, shielding me from his father’s line of sight.

I had to let it go. If I pushed it any further, they were going to notice us fighting, and that was the last thing I wanted, especially with Officer Taser already giving us the
side eye.

Sergeant Townsend walked over from the truck. His gaze landed on Ash, trying to stare him down. Ash won when his father looked away first. I stepped out from behind Ash and he put an arm around my shoulders. I couldn
’t shrug his arm off without his father noticing, but my heart hammered at the possible ramifications of such a public declaration.
They won’t risk anything right now, not with his mother’s campaign starting soon
, I chanted in my head over and over. But all the logic in the world couldn’t calm my heart rate down, couldn’t calm my fears.

“
Miss Flynn, you’re going to need to file a report. You can do that with Officer Ballard later.” He looked everywhere but in my direction while he spoke. “Did you see anyone around your vehicle earlier, or have any idea who may have done this?”

I wasn
’t going to tell him a fucking thing. I lifted my chin, and hoped it didn’t tremble. “No, I was working at the café until fifteen minutes ago.”

Ash went rigid next to me. I nudged my elbow into his side in warning.

Sergeant Townsend glanced to the street and back to the truck. “Why did you park it here where no one can see it?”

Silly me, I didn
’t think ahead and plan for the possibility of someone coming along and smashing the windshield in. I muttered, “It was the only parking space available earlier this evening.”

“
Does that matter?” Ash’s voice dripped with condescension. “She parked in a legal spot and did everything right. It’s not her responsibility if someone else breaks the law, right, Sergeant Townsend?”

Ash
’s face remained expressionless, but at the same time, managed to convey quite clearly,
Go fuck yourself
.

Sergeant Townsend finally looked at me. His face was smooth and unlined, but redness from broken blood vessels permanently blushed his cheeks, prematurely aging him. Something very much like regret passed over his face, which was ridiculous. Regret meant having a soul in the first place.
“All right, the officer is going to take your report now. If you have any more trouble, Miss Flynn, don’t hesitate to call.”

He took several steps closer to us while he reached into the pocket of his uniform pants. Ash
’s arm flexed across my shoulders, pulling me close to him. Ash’s face radiated fury. His lip curled back, baring a hint of teeth. I looked to Sergeant Townsend, afraid of his reaction. With a blank face, he slipped a business card out of his wallet and held it out to me. I stared dumbfounded at the police officer. He was seriously deranged if he thought I would ever contact him.

Black lashes framed sad hazel eyes as the older man stared back at me. The resemblance between father and son was strong, except that Ash possessed a heart and a conscience. The knot in my chest twisted tight. It didn
’t matter. He just needed to leave us alone.

Ash knocked the card out of his hand.
“If she needs anything, you’re the last person she’s going to call.”

Every muscle in my body froze, and a lance of pain stabbed me through my temple. Please tell me Ash didn
’t just assault a police officer, I thought, even if this one fucking deserved it. I clutched at the back of Ash’s t-shirt. Instead of reacting in anger, the remorse on Ash’s father’s face deepened. He just nodded at Ash and then walked away.

We watched him drive away, still holding onto each other. Brake lights glowed red as he slowed down in front of the café, but the police SUV kept driving. I released a breath. At least one thing went right tonight. I pulled away from Ash, and massaged my forehead. The pain in my head was increasing with each passing second. I needed to go home soon. I wasn
’t going to last much longer. Officer Taser-Ballard walked over with a clipboard, less eager now that no criminals had been found lurking in the shadows.

I handed him my information and answered his questions over an agonizing fifteen minutes. The whole time, Ash
remained firmly by my side, glowering or brooding or whatever it was that pissed-off males do. The effort to not acknowledge his disapproval made the headache all the worse.

It didn
’t ease off when the officer finally drove off with his lights from hell. I walked with deliberate steps to the bench and sat down, muscles quivering. The pain in my head was moving into dangerous territory. I leaned forward, covering my face with my hands.

“
We need to talk,” Ash said. “Now.”

I peeked through my fingers. He paced in front of the
wrought iron street lamp.

“
You had the perfect opportunity to tell someone,” Ash seethed. “He’s not going to stop, especially now he knows you’re not going to say anything.”

I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes.
“What was I was supposed to do? Tattle on Trevor to your father? I’m sure that would have gone over well.”

“
You could’ve told the other officer! You had plenty of chances to actually tell him something. Anything. You could’ve just given him the note. But instead you just shut down, like you always do.”

“
And I don’t understand why you’re suddenly trying to act like this place is all happy flowers and romping kittens. Where magically everyone cares about everyone else’s problems.” I uncovered my eyes. “Look what just happened. See how well that went? Your father showed up and I was basically told it was my fault for parking in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

He raked a hand through his hair.
“Believe me, I really didn’t think he was going to show up. The last I knew, he had a desk job. The other officer must have called him over the radio when he recognized me. I didn’t mean for that to happen, trust me.”

I did believe him. The suppressed rage in his body and his face when his father showed up had been painful to see.

With a quick shake of his head, he crossed his arms over his chest again. “And he isn’t the whole police department, so stop worrying about him so much.”

I stood up. I had been right earlier—he knew but he didn
’t truly understand. “He’ll find a way to make everything worse!”

Fuck. The backlash of pain in my head stunned me. Shouting really wasn
’t a good idea.

“
How do you know that?” he challenged. “How do you know the whole police department is corrupt by association?”

I opened my mouth to retort how they took Jerry
’s kickbacks to look the other way. But I’d promised Helen to keep it to myself. I hated myself enough already for my broken promises. “I just do.”

He spread his arms out in frustration.
“Hell, how do you trust anyone at all? You’re telling me you went out and traveled around the country and never met one person you could believe would help anyone else?”

I shook my head.
“No, it was different out there.”

“
How?”

“
It’s this fucking place! Everyone knows everything, and they don’t do a damn thing to stop anything bad happening, just use it as a weapon against each other.” Struggling not to yell, I lowered my voice. “But away from here, no one knew me. I didn’t know them. And I liked it that way.”

He moved toward me, his eyes flashing.
“Then why did you even come back, if you hate everyone and everything here?”

He made it sound like a personal attack, like everyone and everything meant him. I hadn
’t even known he would be here.

“
Only because my father’s going to lose the house! Otherwise I wouldn’t have come back at all. There’s nothing here for me,” I shouted. The pain shot up to a new level, and I knew I was too far gone for it to back down without a struggle, so I masked the agony with a glare.

“
You’re never going to stop lying, are you?”

His voice cut sharp in my ears.
“It’s the truth. You don’t have to believe it.”

“
Fine,” he bit out. “That’s what you really want, just fine.”

And just like that, he walked away. I watched him disappear around the corner. The tears in my eyes weren
’t only from the pain. I dug my phone out of my bag to check the time. Past midnight. The chances of getting a tow truck out on a Saturday night were nonexistent. There was nothing to do except walk back to my house.

I started in the direction of my house, concentrating on the act of walking without stumbling. The pain changed into a unique hell where every sensation, every movement of my body, just drew more attention back to the throbbing behind my eyes. I hadn
’t had a full-blown migraine in months and stopped carrying my meds with me. Not one of my brightest ideas. I only made it halfway down the block before Ash’s hand landed lightly on my shoulder. I hadn’t heard him come up behind me.

“
Wait,” he said. “I’ll give you a ride home. It’s not a good idea for you to walk home alone right now.”

I don
’t know what was worse. The pain in my head from the migraine, or how flat and unemotional he sounded. The same tone he’d used through school to shut anyone out that he didn’t want to get too close and ask too many questions. As if I was an acquaintance and he was just being polite in offering a ride. The main street was deserted, and the stop lights switched over to flashing caution lights that clicked with each burst of yellow.

My stomach turned over, the nausea rising. All I could do was nod.

“I’m not parked far, come on,” he said.

His car was parked halfway down the block, near the café. A sleek silver sedan, it had been a gift from his parents when he graduated from high school with a 4.0 GPA. He accepted it for the same reason I took the money from my father. They owed us. He opened the door for me and I gingerly sat down. Unfortunately, I couldn
’t fully appreciate sitting down on the wide leather bucket seat that didn’t have tears and springs poking me in the back like in my truck.

He got in and started the car. Frigid cold air blew from the vents. The Foo Fighters
’ “The Pretender” blared from the stereo. Everything was suddenly too much to process. The damage to my truck, the shock of seeing his father, our argument, and the severe, unrelenting pain. Uncontrollable shaking took over.

“
Are you all right?” Ash turned down the stereo.

“
It’s nothing,” I mumbled. “Just a migraine.”

“
You still have those?” Worry filtered through his detached tone. “Where’s your meds? You’re supposed to take them before it gets this bad.”

“
At home.” I closed my eyes. “Can you just take me home, please?”

While he drove the short distance to my house, the car swayed smoothly underneath me with each turn. The car slowed as Ash pulled into my driveway. When he opened his door, the overhead light was unbearable through my closed eyelids. I hid my face in one hand and groped for the door handle with the other. My door opened, and then his strong arms slipped under my body.

“I can walk, let me down,” I objected, opening my eyes halfway.

Ash ignored me, his face like chiseled stone in the moonlight. I laid my head on his shoulder as he carried me across the lawn. He shifted me around in his arms while he unlocked the door, and then carried me through the dark house to my bedroom. He laid me on the bed without turning on a light, navigating the small space from memory. I kicked off my shoes, amazed at how such a small motion sent another invisible ice pick through my skull. The air could have been broiling in the bedroom for all I knew, but I was
too busy freezing and shivering. My senses were misfiring. Ash pulled the quilt over me, wrapping it around my shoulders.

“
Where is your medicine?” He stood up, his gaze darting around the room. “You should’ve had it with you.”

I pointed to my backpack on the desk. He took out his phone and used it as a light to go through it. My birth control pills fell on the floor. He stopped and stared at them, before going back to finding an orange prescription bottle.

He went out of the room, to come back a minute later with an ice pack and a glass of water. He sat on the edge of the bed, and helped me sit up halfway, handing me a pill. I swallowed it and sipped the water before lying back down. He knew the routine.

“
Have they gotten worse?” He gently pressed the ice pack to my forehead.

“
No.” Actually, they’d improved over the last year, but sometimes they were triggered when I least expected it. For instance, not sleeping enough, and then running around while in a state of insanity for two straight days.