September Rain (8 page)

“Hallie, you know nothing of me.”

“I know you’re not dead.”

Jacob turned back to the fire. “What makes you so sure?”

“I felt you.”

Her simple words sent an ache of desire streaking through him, and behind it a streak of fury. “Shut up,” he grated.

“I felt you against me. Your warmth. Your heartbeat. Your breath on my face. Your lips--”

He threw the poker down and stood. “I said shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about, Miss Hallie Greer.”

She stood and faced him. It surprised him to see how small and reed slender she was. She seemed to fill his cabin.

“I may be plain, and a spinster, but I know enough about men to know you’re not dead.”

“That’s exactly your problem. You’re a romantic spinster who knows nothing except what you’ve read in novels. You think I’m some tragic hero you can rescue, like Jane Eyre rescued Mr. Rochester. Well, you’re wrong, Hallie. I don’t need rescuing. I just need to be left alone.”

Jacob’s words pummeled Hallie like blows. She stood as firmly against them as she could, although inside she cowered and wished she could somehow shield her heart. “Do you?” she taunted him. “Do you want to be left alone? Is that what you wanted when you kissed me?”

“You think that kiss was some declaration of love? Some romantic rebirth of my spirit under your tender care?” He laughed harshly, scouring the last bit of armor from her bleeding heart.

She shook her head. “I told you, I am not unaware of men and their needs.” Raising her chin, she looked Jacob straight in the eye. “I know I’m not beautiful. I also know I’m old. But I was not always this old.”

“Indeed?”

Hallie glared at him. “I see you’re not so dead you cannot make fun of me. I never expected to marry. But I could help you, if you would let me. I’m not an uninteresting person.”

The light of amusement returned to his eyes. The fact that he was amused infuriated her.

“Are you proposing to me, Miss Hallie Greer?”

She shrugged, hoping the gesture appeared offhanded. “My reputation will be ruined after people discover where I’ve been. You are lonely. We could be company for each other.”

He laughed, then winced. “I have not had company for three years. Why would you think I needed it now?”

“I felt you.”

Jacob’s face darkened. He stepped toward her, his eyes burning into hers. Hallie stood her ground, although she quaked under his glare.

He stood, so close she could feel his heat, and looked down at her for a long time. Mesmerized, Hallie stared up at him. She swallowed and licked her lips. When she did his gaze flickered downward to her mouth, then slowly back up to meet her eyes.

“Do you know what you’re offering, Hallie?”

She nodded and swallowed again. “Y-yes,” she whispered.

“I have nothing to give you in return,” he said bleakly. “Nothing.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Why?” he said softly, his head bent so his breath warmed her mouth.

“I only have one answer for that, and you’ve already heard it.”

“Let me hear it again.”

Hallie took a long breath. She looked at Jacob’s face, the most beautiful face she’d ever seen, even with the swollen, blackened eye. She looked at his lips, cut and bruised, and at his strong, harsh jaw. “I felt you. I felt your life, your breath, your yearning. I don’t know how else to tell you.”

“You felt nothing but an animal attraction. I merely exist, like an animal, and lust like an animal.”

She blinked in astonishment at his words, but didn’t back away.

Suddenly, Jacob grabbed her roughly and pulled her to him, brushing the blanket aside. He pressed her against his body, until she could feel the relentless hardness of him, the iron like strength, the rigid control. He stuck his fingers in her hair and closed his fist, bringing tears to her eyes as her scalp burned. Then he slanted his mouth over hers and kissed her harshly.

At first, Hallie wanted to cry, to struggle against his ruthless assault. But almost as soon as his mouth ground against hers, he changed.

His body relaxed minutely, his hand released its cruel grip on her hair and moved to cup her head, his lips softened and coaxed rather than demanded.

Hallie’s body molded to his embrace as a thrill streaked through her. She felt her skin tighten as her muscles went limp as rags. The feelings she got when she read her romances titillated her, but this was ten times better, or worse. Maybe twenty times. Something strange was happening deep in her most secret core, and Jacob was the only man who’d ever made it happen.

Something was happening to him, too. His body, although he’d relaxed his cruel grip, was growing harder, more insistent, against her. From somewhere deep inside her came a longing to touch him, to feel all the separate parts of him, to explore the differences in his body and hers. She leaned into his embrace and parted her lips.

Jacob tore his mouth away from hers. His breath came harsh and fast. He stared at her as if she were a demon, or a witch. “Go to bed, Hallie. You leave here in the morning.” He turned away and stalked to the door.

“Jacob wait,” she said, but he didn’t.

She stood barefoot and bare armed in the cold room, with the heat from the fire scarcely reaching her. The door slammed with a blast of cold, damp air, and Hallie shivered.

Then, she picked the blanket up off the floor and crept back to bed, huddling under the covers, wondering when, or if, Jacob would come back.

CHAPTER EIGHT

The next morning she woke to find him sitting by the fire, his elbows on his knees, staring at her. His eyes were as blue and remote as the midday sky.

“Good morning,” she said.

“Get up. You’ve got to leave.”

“Your voice is stronger.”

He frowned and looked away, toward the fire. “I’ll get you some water to wash.”

“Thank you.”

Hallie watched him as he picked up the water bucket and left the cabin. He was much better, if she could judge by the way he moved. His eye wasn’t as swollen either, although there was still a black rim around it which she suspected would turn an ugly purple before it went away.

Wrapping the blanket around her, Hallie walked around, touching the hand-hewn table, the sturdy chair, the bed. All the things Jacob had built.

This wasn’t the cabin of a man who was dead. It was a lonely place, a sad place, but it wasn’t a dead place. Hallie thought about his wife, and how much he must have loved her, how devastated he must have been to lose her.

She thought about his lonely existence and her eyes filled with tears as she touched the flowers on the table which had probably never seen a flower.

She had done that
. She had instinctively begun the age-old ritual of woman, making a home wherever she happened to be. She’d had no right to force her way into his life. He’d helped her because she needed help. She’d tried to help him because she’d thought he needed help. But he didn’t want her help, and as much as it hurt her to admit it, that was his choice. What he chose to do with his life had nothing to do with her. It amazed her how painful that realization was.

When Jacob had smiled at her, she'd viewed it as nothing more than a small triumph in a day that otherwise was the duplicate of hundreds of past days. But before that day had ended, Jacob had become the most important person in her life, because he had saved hers at risk of his own. Now, one day later, it seemed he was important to her in another, more tender way.

She shouldn't have come here. Before she had lain with Jacob, before she had felt the tenderness of his kiss, she had been content with her life as a spinster, gleaning snippets of romance from books. She touched a drooping petal and blinked away tears. Now books would never again be enough for her, for he had given her a taste of the real thing.

Jacob brought in the bucket of water. He looked at her, then away.

Hallie put a hand to her head, thinking how disheveled she must look with her hair undone and nothing but a blanket draped over her chemise and underskirt.

“I’ll leave you to wash in private.” His gaze touched her again before he turned his back.

“Jacob,” she said.

He stopped at the door. She stepped close to him, but he kept his face averted.

She reached up and cradled his cheek in her hand, urging his head toward her. His gaze turned to hers reluctantly, traveling over her face, then dipping to the top of her chemise and back up to meet her eyes.

Hallie felt a tiny bit of triumph that she could evoke that much response in him.

“You should not blame yourself for your wife’s death,” she said.

His face went white with shock. “What?”

“You blame yourself. You think you should have been able to save her.”

He stepped backward, out of the reach of her hand. “What I think is none of your business. Your horse is saddled.”

“There’s no reason you lived and she died, Jacob. It just happened.” Hallie licked her lips, determined not to falter, even if he was determined to ignore her. “The same way it just happened that you came along in time to save me.”

She took a long breath. “You can’t live your life regretting what might have been.”

His jaw clenched. “I can live my life anyway I please. Goodbye, Miss Hallie Greer.”

Hallie’s eyes filled with tears, despite her best efforts to stop them. She touched the broken skin of his lip, her fingers hesitant. “I know it’s none of my business, Jacob. I know you care nothing for me. I’m much too old and spinsterish to be the object of anyone’s affections. But I want to thank you.”

He stared down at her, his brow furrowed, but his eyes carrying a hint of the softness she found herself always looking for. “It’s I who should thank you for coming to see about me. It was no chore to save you. ”

Hallie shook her head. “Not for saving me, although I do thank you for that. I thank you for making me feel pretty. For kissing me.” She felt her face grow warm, but she forced herself to continue. She might never have another chance to speak so to him. “For showing me how it feels to be a woman, even if just for an instant.”

She swallowed and drew in courage with a long breath. It was hard to gaze at him unwavering as she humbled herself. “If you should ever decide you would like companionship, I should be honored if you felt I could provide what you needed. But, Jacob, whatever you do, don’t hide yourself away up here and pretend to be dead. You’re too fine for that.” Then she wrapped her hand around his neck and stood on tiptoe and kissed his mouth.

Jacob stood frozen under the gentle assault of her mouth. He closed his eyes, wishing he could recapture the cotton-wrapped cocoon he’d lived in until he’d rescued Hallie. Had that only been two days before?

Saving her had ripped away his protective covering, and he knew he’d never get it back. But another part of his brain told him he’d been ready to change. Otherwise, why would he have thought of her all these past months? Why would he have waited around and watched her, just to get one more glimpse of her sweet face before he returned to his lonely cabin?

With a sigh of resignation, he let in the pain of living. It was as sweet as it was awful. His chest ached and his eyes burned. He felt like he was clawing his way through layers of cobwebs.

He pushed the blanket off her shoulders, letting his hands soak up the softness of her skin, letting his eyes memorize the curve of her neck, the swell of her breasts above the ribbons of her chemise, letting his nostrils flare to suck in the flowery smell of her.

He pushed his fingers into her soft tangled hair and pulled her to him, cradling her head in both his palms as he returned her hesitant kiss.

Hallie made a soft, yearning sound deep in her throat and Jacob reacted instantly. His body hardened as swift, harsh desire echoed through him. She was so soft, so lovely, so incredibly desirable.

He pulled her close, molding her body to his, and deepened his kiss, showing her the way lovers kiss, teaching her, coaxing her to the heights of desire along with him. He felt her shock, then her acceptance, as longing overrode shyness and she allowed him access to everything she had to give.

Jacob pressed against the small of her back, pulling her up against his hardness, taunting himself as he tutored her. She gasped, then arched against him, and he knew her woman’s instinct had taken over and she was ready to be loved.

He ached with pent-up longing. He throbbed in anticipation of the thing he’d denied himself for so long. And he somehow knew he’d been right to wait. Hallie had been worth waiting for. He was at long last ready to rejoin the living, as long as she was at his side.

He pushed her chemise aside and uncovered one taut, round breast. His fingers caressed its firmness, his mouth watered at the prospect of tasting her. On the verge of losing control, Jacob lifted his head and looked down at her. The sight of her crimson cheeks, her lips parted and damp with his kisses, almost undid him.

“Hallie?” he whispered, making it a question, giving her a chance to change her mind.

She opened her mouth to speak. At that instant, the cabin door burst open with a deafening explosion.

Suddenly, the cabin was full of men. Jacob pushed Hallie behind him as Brent Myers crashed through the door behind three of his henchmen.

“Get him!” he thundered.

Two men grabbed Jacob, twisting his arms behind him.

“No!” Hallie cried.

“What the hell is going on here?” Myers shouted. “Look at you, Hallie.”

Hallie clutched at her chemise, frantically pulling the thin material up to cover her exposed breast. The passion and wonder of a few seconds before dissolved into shame as she felt Myers’ eyes on her exposed arms and shoulders.

“You little trollop,” he shouted, his face blotched with the red flush of rage. He advanced upon her, his arm upraised.

“Stop!” Jacob shouted, his voice rasping and hoarse.

Myers stopped in surprise. He whirled on Jacob. “You crazy bastard. You can talk.”

“Leave her alone,” Jacob said, struggling against the men who held him.

Myers swaggered up to Jacob and stuck his face within inches of the taller man. “I’ll do anything I want with her. She’s mine. I own her, because I own her store. Before you interfered, I was--” Myers stopped. He gestured to his men. “Take him outside and kill him. After all, he attacked Miss Hallie, here.”