Shattered Spirits (28 page)

More air swept around her. A black void burst into life beside them, and Grey yanked her into another gate. The world twisted, then her foot hit hard floor, and a dimly lit hall of grey granite surrounded her. They were in Court. Grey had gated her to Court.

She shoved him against the wall, dropping the clothes and reaching for a gun she no longer had. “I have to find him.”

“No. I will find him. You stay alive.”

CHAPTER 32

Ryan staggered down an alley, tripped over something hidden in the shadows, and stumbled into the wall. The uneven brick dug into his palms, but he barely felt it. His head was too full. There was too much information. Information that wasn’t possible.

He pressed his forehead to the brick and clutched the wall as if that would make the world stop whirling. But it wasn’t the world that whirled, it was him, his mind, his very essence.

Magic was real. The thought that there were two kinds of magic, earth magic and soul magic, flashed through him. They were Capri’s thoughts or memories or whatever they were.

He wasn’t supposed to know any of that. It was dangerous for him to know the truth. He could go crazy.

Also Capri’s thoughts.

He was pretty sure he already was crazy.

There was no way she could just give him her thoughts.

But she
had
. She’d also given him her essence, her spirit. It was just for a second, just long enough for her to reveal… everything.

His heart pounded and even with his eyes squeezed shut, he could feel the world wrenching around him.

She’d even revealed her core-deep affection for him. A love that confused and terrified her, but one that—no matter how hard she fought it—couldn’t be denied. That emotion spoke to him. It resonated with something buried within him, something he hadn’t known existed. And yet he didn’t want to examine it. That would mean what now churned through him was real.

It couldn’t be real.

It just couldn’t.

He shoved away from the wall and staggered toward the mouth of the alley and—

And what? Safety? Surety?

He couldn’t get back the sense that he knew how the world worked. He hadn’t even known he’d been so sure of things until Capri had broken that misconception.

Sure, he knew that something was different, at least with him. He saw flashes of the future. Real flashes. Horrible flashes. But for some reason that seemed sane, normal. The idea that dragons lived in human bodies, possessed magic—

No, only a handful of dragons… drakes, possessed significant magic. It had something to do with their now human bodies. Something to do with that body’s connection to the earth’s magic.

And then there were gates and inter-dimensional spheres and enhanced strength and speed and night-sight—

Oh, God, stop. Just stop.

He rushed onto the street. Deserted. But at this time of night, in this neighborhood, that didn’t surprise him. He picked a direction—it didn’t matter which—and ran. His feet pounding, his breath burning, as if he could outrun what was in his head. He had to outrun it. He didn’t want to know any of it. He could feel it burning him up from the inside out, devouring his mind, his thoughts, everything that was him.

It was too much. She shouldn’t have done whatever she’d done—

Transferred her spirit into him—

She hadn’t had the right. But she’d had no choice. He wouldn’t have believed her otherwise.

He ran for blocks—he had no idea how many—until he found a wider street. Here most of the streetlights were actually working, and two blocks down, red neon lights flashed, promising “Cold Be—” “Mechanical Bull” and “Op-n.” Even from this far away, country music blasted from the establishment. A taxi, its ‘In service’ light on, sat in front of the dive bar.

Ryan pulled out the wad of bills in his pocket that he’d found when he’d put the coat on. It looked like tens and twenties. Enough to cover cab fare. He rushed to the vehicle, opened the back door—managing to control himself long enough not to wrench at it—and slid inside.

“Where to?” The driver glanced into the rearview mirror, caught Ryan’s gaze, then glanced back to the meter.

Where to? He had no idea. He needed to get free from the knowledge whirling in his head. But he couldn’t escape himself. “25 Montgomery Street.” It was the first address that popped to mind. The address of his childhood home, now Trisha’s home.

“Sure thing.” The driver hit the meter and pulled away from the curb.

Ryan squeezed his eyes shut. Words, thoughts, images pounded through him. He fought to ignore them, to think about anything else, to think of nothing. Nothing would be wonderful right now. A dark, empty abyss, where there wasn’t him or Capri or anything else. Magic wasn’t real. He wasn’t crazy. Capri didn’t love him.

Jesus, she loved him.

He shoved that thought back. For all he knew, none of it was real. The explosion had rattled his mind, broken him somehow. His curse had taken a new horrible twist and now he was stuck in some unreality. Was he even in a cab going home?

The cab pulled into a driveway, the wheels crunching on ice and salt. Ryan opened his eyes. The familiar red brick Victorian, with its wide front porch and twin gables, sat before him. Home. Safety. In the very least, a place where he could regain his bearings and figure out how crazy he was.

Dragons were dangerous. They had laws—

Just stop.

He paid the driver the entire wad—it was too much but whatever. He rushed into the dark house and pressed his back against the front door.

Only a few human bodies could make a connection to the earth’s magic. Humans and dragons could share bodies, but the human spirit wasn’t strong enough to withstand the connection. The human spirit would become soul sick and go crazy.

The thoughts pounded against his mind. He already was crazy. This couldn’t be real. He couldn’t have seen the things he’d seen.

He staggered into the kitchen and filled the kettle to make tea. Tea made everything right for Trisha. He didn’t know how it could make things right for him, but it was the only thing he could think of… which wasn’t true.

There were dragons in his head. Great, monstrous spirits crammed into fragile human forms.

He pressed his palms to his eyes.

There. Were. No. Dragons.

It wasn’t real. Somehow Capri had lied to him. Maybe she’d drugged him. Maybe that was why he felt the way he did. Something in the water, or her kiss, or…

The kettle squealed. He took it off the element and opened the cupboard for the tea box. It wasn’t there. He couldn’t remember anymore if Trisha kept the tea in the cupboard or not. He scanned the counter—not there, either—then he glanced at the kitchen table. Trisha’s white ceramic tea jar sat on the table, surrounded by photos. Jess’s school project.

He reached for the tin, his gaze sliding over the photos of him, his sister, his whole family, during happier times. Aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, and great grandparents all smiled back at him, laid out in chronological order. At the top, by the tea jar, was the black and white photo he’d seen earlier, of the two couples in stuffy 1900s clothing. Trisha had said he looked a lot like Great-great-great-uncle Eric.

Ryan picked up the photo and shifted it so the light over the stove illuminated the picture. Yeah, he looked a lot like Eric. And the woman beside him…

He drew the photo close. It looked like Capri. He’d thought that the first time he’d seen the photo. Then, he’d believed it was his imagination playing tricks on him because she compelled him, drew him to her. Now… now he wasn’t so sure.

No. Drakes were old. Capri had received her current human form in the 12th century.

The knowledge was just there, just like everything else. She’d known Eric. Loved Eric, and had been forced to leave him because of dragon law.

Her ache for his long-dead great-uncle flooded him. He gasped against the weight of it. She’d mourned that man’s loss for a century. She’d lived for centuries before then. She was spectacular, and ferocious, and impossible.

It was all just so impossible. He couldn’t contain it, couldn’t begin to fully understand it. The burn, the tornado of thoughts, exploded within him again. He gasped and clutched the counter, struggling to keep standing. But he couldn’t find his balance. He couldn’t tell reality from fantasy, couldn’t sense up from down. He was drowning in thoughts and knowledge and the impossible.

CHAPTER 33

Capri rushed along the Lesser Promenade toward Tobias’s office, every nerve thrumming. She’d changed into the shirt, jeans, coat, and boots Grey had given her before heading to Tobias’s office, but what she really wanted was to find Ryan and make sure he was safe and sane.

Please. Let him be sane. The flurry of emotions overwhelmed her. She had to get back to him, except he didn’t love her. He didn’t believe her.

That hurt seared, flooded, consumed her.

He didn’t love her. He’d rejected her. There was nothing left for her. Her damned soul had picked him and human souls didn’t work the way drake souls did.

Her throat tightened. This was worse than losing Eric again. Her chest was too tight. Her eyes too hot. All she wanted was to curl into a ball and cry. She was losing her mind. All she could think of was Ryan and that horrible moment when he’d shoved her away and run out the door.

He’d looked so wild, so hurt. Humans couldn’t accept the truth. Every drake knew that. She should have just accepted her heartache and wiped his mind. Then only one of them would be hurting. But no, she was selfish. She’d wanted him to understand, and she’d only made it worse. Sharing his body, infusing him with all her knowledge of dragon-kind, had broken him and shattered his mind. She’d made him soul sick and then let him run away.

She couldn’t be in Court. She had to find Ryan. Maybe if she used her earth magic she could make it right, make him love her.

Her stomach churned at the thought. He didn’t love her. Accept it. Just accept it and move on. She would deal with Tobias and Court politics. Then she’d wipe Ryan’s memory to save him, and hide from everything until it stopped hurting.

And to do that, she needed to trust Grey to find him and keep him safe while she dealt with Tobias. It wouldn’t help either of them if she was executed for treason.

Except there was no guarantee Tobias would allow her to leave Court once she’d talked to him. There was also no guarantee that Tobias wasn’t involved in the attack at her house.

But if that was true, then Tobias was somehow involved with the mages. Which was impossible. Tobias was loyal to Regis. He wouldn’t be involved with Zenobia and her coup.

Of course, she’d never believed that there would be mages in Nero’s house, either, and without a doubt those kids had been mages. Grey and Anaea had been there as well, which meant…

She had no idea what it meant. She didn’t think they were involved with Boyd and his group of mages, but did that mean there was more than one group of mages out there? And what the hell was Grey doing, involved with that and at Nero’s house?

None of this made sense. Nero was a Traditionalist and Regis’s favorite doyen. An association with Hunter, even if it was through Grey, was unheard of. Hunter was Regis’s least favorite drake. If Hunter didn’t possess the last free medallion and have a sorcerer at his side, Regis would have sent every wannabe assassin after him. But Nero didn’t just have a casual association with Hunter. If Anaea had been in his house, free to wander around, he had a direct link.

The Lesser Promenade widened. She passed a pair of patrolling guards, and while they glanced at her, they didn’t stop her, which meant there wasn’t a warrant for her arrest—or they’d yet to check in and learn about her. She was getting closer to the stairs up to the Greater Promenade and the Chamberlain’s office. Grey had said Tobias was furious that she’d been investigating something she hadn’t been assigned. She’d known that might happen when Hiro had called her to her office. At least she had a solid lead with Howard Pimm—thanks to Gig finding that video. But she couldn’t explain Ryan. And if Tobias was angry about him, that meant that reporter had aired Capri’s slip-up at that lawyers’ office.

She could fix this. Mother of All, she would fix this. Tobias would understand. She just needed to spin this as done in the best interest of the Royal Coterie. She’d suspected Ryan had known something and needed to keep him close until she’d discovered the truth. Yes, she should have informed Tobias right away, but she hadn’t wanted to jump to conclusions.

Oh, yeah, Tobias wasn’t going to believe any of that. He’d call her headstrong and stupid.

All of which right now was completely true.

She reached the massive staircase curling up to the Greater Promenade and took the stairs two at a time. There was no good way out of this and maybe she deserved it for what she’d done to Ryan.

Tears filled her eyes, and she blinked them back. She’d hurt her inamorator, broken his mind. She deserved whatever punishment Tobias gave her.

She hit the second to last step and almost rammed into Katar, Barna’s Second.

“Going somewhere?” he asked.

“Yes, I have a meeting with the Chamberlain.”

“No, you have a meeting with me,” Regis said from the top of the staircase. He flashed a hint of teeth, challenging her to argue with him… or was that sexual invitation? With Regis it was hard to tell since this kind of situation turned the bastard on. His gaggle of sycophants drew a step closer and nodded their agreement.

But Capri couldn’t muster even a hint of teeth in response. She didn’t want to fight. She wanted to cry. No, she wanted to fix the situation with Ryan. “Of course, my Prince.” She dropped her gaze to his feet in submission. “What would you like to discuss?”

“I think it has something to do with a particular human,” Katar said, his voice low. Satisfaction gleamed in his dark eyes.

“A human?” Rage and fear exploded through the grief. She fought to keep her gaze down. Regis hadn’t told the guard yet because he wanted to torment her himself first. If they hurt Ryan—