Shopaholic & Sister (41 page)

“Spit in his face!” chimes in Edie, shaking her fist.

“You realize the Arcodas Group is my biggest client,” says Luke. “That has crossed your mind.”

“You wanted me to be more like Jess,” I reply, a little defiantly. “That’s what you said, isn’t it? ‘Be like your sister.’ Well, here you are, then.” I lean forward to the microphone and shout into it, “Go back to London with your fancy ways! Leave us in peace!”

The crowd erupts in an approving cheer.

“Go back to London with my fancy ways?” echoes Luke in disbelief. “What about
your
fancy ways?”

“I don’t have any fancy ways,” I say haughtily. “I’ve changed, if you want to know. I’m really frugal. And I care about the countryside. And evil developers coming and ruining beauty spots like this.”

Luke leans forward and whispers in my ear, “Actually . . . they’re not planning to build a shopping center on this site.”

“What?” I look up with a frown. “Yes, they are.”

“No, they’re not. They changed their plans weeks ago. They’re using another site. In fact, they’re redeveloping an existing office complex.”

I search his face suspiciously. He doesn’t look like he’s lying.

“But . . . the plans,” I say. “We’ve got plans!”

“Old.” He raises his eyebrows. “Someone didn’t do their research properly.” He glances down at Robin. “Him, by any chance?”

Oh God. That actually has the ring of truth.

I can’t quite take this in. They’re not planning to build a shopping center here after all. We’re all here, shouting and yelling . . . for no reason.

“So.” Luke folds his arms. “Despite your extremely convincing publicity campaign, the Arcodas Group are not in fact villains. They have done nothing wrong.”

“Oh, right.” I shift awkwardly and glance past Luke at the three scowling Arcodas Group men. “So . . . I don’t suppose they’re very pleased, are they?”

“Not exactly,” agrees Luke.

“Er . . . sorry about that.” I sweep my eyes over the restive crowd. “So I suppose you want me to tell them. Is that it?”

Luke tugs his earlobe, the way he always does when he’s got a plan.

“Well,” he says. “As it happens, I have a better idea. Since you have helpfully gathered all this media together . . .”

He takes hold of the microphone, swivels to face the crowd, and taps it for attention. There’s an answering roar of boos and hisses. Even Suze is shaking her banner at him.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Luke says in his deep, confident voice. “Members of the press. I have an announcement to make on behalf of the Arcodas Group.”

He waits patiently until the jeers have died down, then looks around the crowd.

“We at the Arcodas Group are passionate about people. We are passionate about listening. We are the company that takes notice. I have spoken to your representative”—he indicates me—“and I have taken in all her arguments.”

There’s an expectant hush. Everyone is gazing up at him, agog.

“As a result of this . . . I can announce that the Arcodas Group has reconsidered the use of this site.” Luke smiles. “There will be no shopping center here.”

There’s a moment of stunned silence—then overjoyed pandemonium breaks out. Everyone’s cheering and hugging each other, whistles are blowing, and drums are being beaten to death.

“We did it!” I hear Jim yelling above the clamor.

“We showed them!” shrieks Kelly.

Jess is cheering along with everyone else, although she keeps darting looks of suspicion toward me and Luke. I’ll have to fill her in later on.

“I would also like to draw your attention to the huge number of environmental initiatives which the Arcodas Group sponsors,” Luke says smoothly into the microphone. “Leaflets are currently being handed out. And press packs. Enjoy.”

Hang on a minute. He’s totally turning this into a positive PR event. He’s hijacked it!

“You snake!” I say furiously, putting my hand over the microphone. “You completely misled them!”

“The field is saved.” He shrugs. “The rest is details, surely.”

“No! That’s not the—”

“If your crew had done their research in the first place, we wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t have to be saving the situation.” He leans down and calls to Gary, who’s been handing out literature to the crowd. “Gary, see the Arcodas folk into their car, will you? Tell them I’m staying on for some further negotiating work.”

Gary nods, and gives me a cheery wave, which I choose to ignore. I’m still outraged with them both.

“So . . . where
is
the shopping center being built?” I demand as I watch the rejoicing crowd. Kelly and Jess are hugging each other, Jim is clapping Robin on the back, and Edie and Lorna are waving their pink wigs in the air.

“Why?”

“Maybe I’ll go and protest outside it. Maybe I should start following the Arcodas Group around and making trouble! Keep you on your toes.”

“Maybe you should,” says Luke with a wry smile. “Becky, look, I’m sorry. But I have to do my job.”

“I know, I suppose. But . . . I thought I was making a difference. I really thought I’d achieved something.” I heave a morose sigh. “And it was all for nothing.”

“For
nothing
?” says Luke, incredulous. “Becky . . . just take a look at what you’ve done.” He gestures at the throng. “Look at all these people. I’ve heard how you transformed the campaign. Not to mention the village . . . and this party you’re throwing . . . You should be proud of yourself. Hurricane Becky, they’re calling you.”

“What, I leave a trail of devastation everywhere?”

Luke looks at me, suddenly serious, his eyes warm and dark. “You blow people away. Everyone you meet.” He picks up my hand and looks at it for a moment. “Don’t be like Jess. Be like you.”

“But you said . . .” I begin, then stop myself.

“What?”

Oh God. I was going to be all grown-up and dignified and not mention this. But I just can’t help it.

“I overheard you talking to Jess,” I mumble. “When she was staying with us. I heard you say . . . it was difficult to live with me.”

“It
is
difficult to live with you,” says Luke matter-of-factly.

I blink at him, my throat a little tight.

“It’s also enriching. It’s exciting. It’s fun. It’s the only thing I want to do. If it were easy . . . it would be boring.” He touches my cheek. “Life with you is an adventure, Becky.”

“Becky!” calls Suze from below. “The party’s starting! Hi, Luke!”

“Come on,” Luke says, and kisses me. Over his shoulder I see Edie nudging Lorna and pointing to us, agog. God, I’m going to have to put them all straight. Otherwise they’ll think I’ve been unfaithful to my husband with the evil Arcodas man.

“Let’s get you off this ladder.” Luke’s strong fingers weave round mine, and I squeeze them back.

“By the way, what did you mean just now when you said you were frugal?” he asks as he helps me edge down the steps. “Was it a joke?”

“No! I’m frugal! Jess taught me. Like Yoda.”

“What exactly did she teach you?” says Luke, looking a bit wary.

“How to make a water sprinkler out of a milk carton,” I say proudly. “And gift wrap out of old plastic bags. Also, you should always write a birthday card in pencil so the person can rub out your message and use it again. It saves ninety pence!”

Luke looks at me wordlessly for a few moments.

“I think I need to get you back to London,” he says at last, then helps me down the stepladder, holding my crutch under his arm. “Danny called, by the way.”

“Danny called?” In my excitement I miss the last step of the ladder. As I land on the grass, everything goes a little swirly.

“Ooh!” I clutch on to Luke. “I’m all dizzy.”

“Are you OK?” says Luke in alarm. “Is it the concussion? You shouldn’t have been climbing ladders. . . .”

“It’s all right,” I say, a little breathless. “I’ll sit down.”

“God, I always used to get like that!” says Suze, passing by. “When I was pregnant.”

Everything seems to empty from my mind.

I dart a startled glance at Luke. He looks equally jolted.

No. I mean . . . I couldn’t . . .

I couldn’t be—

All of a sudden my brain is doing frantic sums. I haven’t even
thought
about . . . But the last time I . . . it must have been . . . It’s been at least . . .

Oh my God.

“Becky?” says Luke in a strange voice.

“Um . . . Luke . . .”

I take a deep breath, trying to keep cool.

OK. Don’t panic. Do
not
panic. . . .

Ms Jessica Bertram
12 Hill Rise
Scully
Cumbria CA19 1BD

12 June 2003

Dear Ms Bertram,

I was surprised to see today that a sum of one thousand pounds has been taken from your account.

This is most unusual activity for your account and for this reason I am contacting you to ensure that a mistake has not been made.

Yours sincerely,

Howard Shawcross
Customer Account Manager

Ms Jessica Bertram
12 Hill Rise
Scully
Cumbria CA19 1 BD

22 June 2003

Dear Ms Bertram,

I was shocked and grieved by the tone of your last letter.

I do “have a life” as you put it.

Yours sincerely,

Howard Shawcross
Customer Account Manager

Manager
Harvey Nichols
109Ð125 Knightsbridge
London SW1X 7RJ

25 June 2003

Dear Sir,

I am doing a piece of hypothetical research. I was wondering whether it is true that if you give birth in Harvey Nichols (accidentally, of course!) you are entitled to free clothes for life.

I would be very grateful if you could let me know.

Obviously, as I have mentioned, this is a completely hypothetical inquiry.

Yours sincerely,

Rebecca Brandon (née Bloomwood)

Hugest gratitude to the endlessly wise and supportive Susan Kamil, to Irwyn Applebaum, Nita Taublib, Barb Burg, Sharon Propson, Susan Corcoran, Cathy Paine, and Margo Lipschultz.

Thanks as ever to the fabulous Araminta Whitley, Celia Hayley, Kim Witherspoon, and David Forrer. A special thank-you to Joy Terekiev and Chiara Scaglioni for a wonderful welcome in Milan and some essential Italian!

Thanks to the members of the Board. To Henry, for everything. To Freddy and Hugo for suggesting I write about pirates instead (maybe next time).

And a big thank-you to my parents for taking me in off the streets so I could finish writing this. . . .