SilverMoonLight (SilverMoonSaga Book 1) (23 page)

»Dr.
Erickson wouldn’t let me see him. He was really angry, and assumed you had sent
me. He got really worked up and asked if you were planning to move in there or
something. What did he mean, Emma?«

»I
can’t tell you, Peter, I’m sorry. But thank you for trying to help me.«

I
sat there on my bed, dressed only in old jogging bottoms and a washed-out
T-shirt, staring vacantly in front of me. I had tied my hair up into a ponytail
which, in defiance of my low mood, swung cheerfully back and forth with every
movement.

»You
look so miserable,« said Peter sympathetically. »I can’t stand seeing you like
this. There must be a solution; there always is.« He sat down next to me on the
bed and laid a comforting arm around my shoulder.

I
shook my head in despair. »I think you might be wrong this time.«

I
didn’t know where Peter got his optimism from, but mine had vanished long ago.

»Things
can’t possibly go on like this. Dad can’t keep you locked in here forever;
he’ll have to accept your relationship. After all, it’s not like Calum’s an
ogre,« he said, in a tone of utter conviction.

Peter
was right; Calum wasn’t an ogre. But it wasn’t all that far from the truth. No,
not an ogre, but a captivator for he captivated me neck and crop. I am
completely under his spell.

I
decided to bathe and to wash my hair, not wanting to slide into depression
without putting up a fight. I went into the bathroom, ran the hot water and lowered
myself down into the tub. For a while I just lay there with my eyes closed,
enjoying the warmth of the water on my skin.

There
was a soft knock at the bathroom door. »It’s me, Amelie, can I come in?«

»Yes,
sure.« There was no peace anywhere around here.

»I
wanted to check on you.« Amelie seemed unusually reserved, almost shy.

»How
are you doing?« she asked hesitantly. »Peter and I are really worried about
you.«

There
was one good thing about the whole situation. Amelie and Peter were now as
thick as thieves. There had been no snarky comments, angry glares or arguments
between them for days now.

»I’m
okay.« I wasn’t in the mood to talk.

»You
look really shitty. Sorry,« Amelie grinned. »Shall I wash your hair for you?«
she asked, kneeling down next to the bath. She reached for the shampoo. I
closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of her massaging the peach scented
lather through my hair. She rinsed it twice, then put on some conditioner.

»Thank
you,« I said, leaning back.

»Aidan
was with Calum,« she blurted out.

I
opened my eyes and stared at her.

»And
you waited until now to tell me?« I said indignantly. »Tell me! How is he?«

»Boys
don’t talk about their feelings like we do. But if even Aidan says that Calum
looks terrible, then you can imagine how bad he is. He went very quiet when he
heard you’re not allowed to leave the house, apparently.«

I
sat up and pulled my knees up to my chest. I could have screamed with longing.

»He
gave Aidan something for you.«

She
held a simple black leather chain out towards me. There was a small blue heart
on it, sparkling in the light of the bathroom lamp. It was polished aquamarine.

»It’s
beautiful,« said Amelie. »So simple, but so pretty. It’ll really suit you.«

I
fell silent, staring at Calum’s present.

»Come
out, the water’s gone cold and you’re all pruned.«

Amelie
had clearly re-discovered her old bossy nature.

I
clambered out and rubbed myself dry. Amelie handed me one of her numerous body
lotions and ordered me to moisturize. Knowing that she meant business, I did as
she said. She fetched me some clean underwear, jeans and a T-shirt, and I
started to feel much better. Once I was dressed, she unclasped my mother’s
silver chain from my neck and put Calum’s necklace there in its place. The cold
stone cooled my skin, which was still warm from the bath, but at the same time
it burnt like fire. I clasped the heart tightly in my hand.

»How
are things going with you and Aidan?« I asked Amelie later as we sat in her
room listening to music. I was feeling guilty; everything had been about me
recently.

»Oh,
fine. Although...« she hesitated for a moment, »sometimes he gets on my nerves.«

I
looked at her in surprise.

»Do
you still like him?«

»The
thing is,« she answered slowly, »I was pretty much in love with him. But once
we got together...he’s completely different from how I imagined. He’s quite
dominant and possessive. And it’s almost impossible to have a serious
conversation with him. Sometimes I get the impression he’s not really
interested in me as a person, but that I’m just some conquest he can parade
around with.« She fell silent.

I
gave her a sympathetic look. I had been so wrapped up in Calum that I hadn’t
noticed Amelie and Aidan weren’t equally enamored of each other. I had
neglected her and our friendship.

I
pulled her towards me, wanting to comfort her. She leaned her head against my
shoulder and thought for a moment before speaking again.

»You
and Calum have something really special,« she said after a while. »I have more
experience with boys, remember, so I can tell. Just from the way he looks at
you. I hope someone looks at me like that someday.«

I
gazed ahead of me, thinking of Calum’s wonderful dark blue eyes and how they
had the ability to throw me completely off guard.

»I
have to do something, Amelie, I can’t bear it.«

»I
know—I just don’t know how I can help you. Dr. Erickson won’t let anyone from
our family anywhere near him. I don’t even know whether Aidan will be allowed
to visit him again.«

»Thanks,
but I don’t want you to help me. I’ve already caused enough problems for your
family.«

She
looked at me indignantly. »What are you talking about? This is
your
family, and whether you believe it or not, that’s how we all feel.«

After
dinner that evening, Ethan summoned me into his study. He normally retreated
there in the evenings when the chaos in the house got too much for him.

It
was a small room, full of books and old papers, and there was an old desk which
was much too big for the space.

»Emma,«
he said, beginning falteringly, »You know how important your happiness is to
me, and this hasn’t been an easy decision to make.« He fell silent and turned
to the window, avoiding meeting my gaze.

My
blood ran cold at his words, and I took a step back.

»Obviously
you have no idea of the danger you’ve gotten yourself into. We understand that.
You’re very young and in love for the first time. We all know how that feels.
You think you can’t live without Calum. But Emma, that same belief destroyed
your mother’s life, and I can’t allow it to happen again.« His tone, already
firm, became ever more insistent with those last words. He paused for a moment,
looking to see how I was reacting. When he continued, his voice had taken on a
hard edge.

»The
thing is, you’re wrong. People can, and even should, fall in love more than
once. Believe me, you will find someone else whom you feel as strongly for as
you do for Calum. For your sake, I have to end your relationship with him if
you’re unable to do it.« He looked me in the eye, imploringly now. »You know
what he is, you know that a life with him isn’t possible, that it could
endanger your own life to be with him. One of you has to leave the island, and
after a lot of thought and numerous conversations with Dr. Erickson, I’ve
decided that this person has to be you. «

I
shook my head in disbelief.

»Why
are you doing this to me?«

During
the long days cooped up in the house I had hoped that there would be some
solution. But Calum had been right; this wasn’t a fairytale. No one could help
us. I covered my face with my hands and slid down the closed door onto the
floor. Ethan knelt down next to me and stroked my hair softly.

»We
really wanted to keep you here, and I promise that you will always be welcome.
We wouldn’t be sending you away if there was any other way around it, but if
you love him then you’ll understand it would be much more complicated for him
to explain his early return. Dr. Erickson explained things to me, and the
clan’s rules are very strict. So I think this is for the best.«

»When?«
I asked tonelessly.

»Next
Wednesday. One of our old school friends lives in the States with his family.
He’ll take you in until you’ve finished High School. Then you can decide which
college you want to go to. With your grades you can study wherever and whatever
you want.«

He
had planned everything down to the last detail. At that moment, I hated him.
His friendly face, his persuasive words. I heard what he was saying and how
logical it sounded, but it still broke my heart. It sounded sensible, but I
didn’t want to be sensible. Couldn’t be.

I
picked myself up off the floor and went back to my bedroom in silence. There, I
crouched on my bed, rocking back and forth.

What
other choice did I have? I had to see Calum, at least one last time.

I
walked over to the window and looked out. An icy wind was blowing over the
mist-covered meadows. But I opened the window regardless, breathing in the
crystal-clear air. It was an unusually clear night and there was a huge white
moon. A full moon.

An
idea occurred to me, a completely insane idea. Did I have the guts to do it?
Would it even be possible? I sat down on my bed.

Now
that it had occurred to me, I knew I would go through with it. I would have to
wait two or three hours, then take Amelie’s car.

Restless,
I paced up and down my bedroom. I was thirsty, but didn’t want to risk going
into the kitchen. I was too worried that Ethan would notice my agitated state
and guess what I was planning to do.

As
the clock moved towards eleven, the house became quiet. I waited a little
longer. Patience. I had to be patient.

Half
an hour later, I pulled on my warmest coat and opened my bedroom door.
Everything was still. Carrying my shoes, I tiptoed carefully in my tights
across the creaking floorboards, hoping the car keys would be on the sideboard
in the hallway.

»Damn!«
I cursed softly. Of course they weren’t where they were supposed to be. But
where? Amelie had driven the car that afternoon.

I
turned around and crept back up the stairs, then gently opened her bedroom
door. Amelie was fast asleep. I shook her shoulder.

»Amelie,
please wake up.«

She
turned towards me, drowsy at first. But when she saw me sitting on the bed in
my coat, she was suddenly wide awake.

»What
are you doing?« she asked, dumbfounded.

»Amelie,
you have to promise you won’t tell on me. Ethan wants to send me back to the
States.«

Her
eyes widened in shock. »Mom would never allow that!« she said, more loudly then
she intended.

»Shhh,«
I hissed, »you’ll wake the whole house. It’s a done deal, Amelie. The flights
are already booked, I’m flying back next Wednesday.«

She
still looked half asleep. I spoke slowly so she could understand.

 »I
need your car keys. I have to see him one last time.«

She
nodded silently. Then, more quickly than I had expected, she jumped up and ran
over to her jeans, which were lying on the floor. She rummaged around in the
pockets for her keys.

»Promise
me you’ll be careful.« She looked at me insistently. »And come back, okay?«

»Where
would I go, Amelie? I want to say goodbye to him and I’m scared Ethan won’t
allow it.«

She
flung her arms around me and hugged me tightly.

»Wish
me luck,« I murmured into her ear.

I
crept back downstairs as quietly as possible, pulled on my shoes and hurried
outside.

Calum
had forbidden me from doing this. He had told me on more than one occasion that
I shouldn’t go close to the lake on a night of a full moon. Under no
circumstances was I allowed to see what happened there on those nights; he had
warned me explicitly. Going to the lake tonight could mean my death.

But
I had no other choice.

Just
once, I wanted to be there when he was himself, when he wasn’t hiding behind a
human mask.

Scottish
myths were filled with horror stories about the shellycoats. But I was still
convinced I knew what I was doing. I didn’t want to be afraid. Amelie thought I
was driving to the parsonage, but I couldn’t exactly break in there to get to
him. There was only one night when Dr. Erickson wouldn’t stop him from leaving
the house, and that was tonight. This was my only chance to see him one last
time. I hoped that my curiosity and longing wouldn’t end up getting us into
even more trouble. I didn’t even want to think about it. The thought of being
parted from him forever seemed worse than anything else right now.