Sinful Resurrection (CSA Case Files 2) (20 page)

“You’re not alone, Emily.”  Jax walked towards her, connecting his gaze with hers.  He needed for her to see that he could bare his soul as well, regardless of the
terror it put into his being.  He finally reached her and placed his palms on her cheeks, wanting her to truly hear what he was about to say. “The truth is I’m scared shitless.  Do not take that to mean I would walk away from you.  I wouldn’t.  If you are pregnant, that complicates things from my perspective because I cannot let anything happen to you or our baby.  The very thought that something could happen to either one of you makes me want to leave this place and go hunting.  My kind of hunting that the Marines taught me.  That’s a part of me that I never want you to see.  It’s ugly, but I will do what I need to do to ensure the both of you are safe.”

“Jax —”

“I told you just this morning that Connor and the rest of the team knows the dangers of our occupation.  Lauren and their families…they understand the risks as well,” Jax said, not wanting her to speak until he was done having his say.  She needed to hear this.  “To be honest, I don’t know what the hell I told myself to actually believe that.  Maybe it’s because I’ve only ever had myself to think about when situations go awry.  Now there’s this possibility that you are the mother of my child.  A child that I would be honored to have with you, Emily.  I am not unhappy about this, but I do need to come to terms with the possibility.  This will not just change us, but it will alter the man I am.”

“
Thank you.”  Emily had rested her fingers over his wrists while he laid his soul bare for her.  “Thank you for not making light of this or —”

“
Never.  What you and I have, what we could have, signifies the dreams that have haunted me since the day my family was taken from me.  I admit, it’s fun to play around in others’ lives,” Jax said, flashing a real smile now, thinking of the shit that he’d pulled to get Connor and Lauren together, “but not with you, Emily.  Not with you.  This isn’t a game to me.  This is our future.  This —”

Bam!
Bam! Bam!

Both Jax and Emily had their weapons drawn in seconds, pointed at the door. 
He would have laughed had he had the time in regards that his adrenaline rush didn’t alter in the slightest from their previous conversation to now.  Although it hit him in that moment as she stood side by side with him, that he would have to find a way to convince her to stay behind him from this point on.  This wasn’t going to work and it would be over his dead body before Emily had to protect herself and now maybe their unborn child. 

“Jax!” Kevin’s deep voice vibrated the wooden door.  “Pack up.  We’re heading out
in the morning.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Jax leaned against the wall in the convenience store next to the bathroom and crossed his arms
, trying to remain calm.  He’d made sure to wear his jacket inside to cover up his holster, but all it did was make him overheated.  How long did it take to pee on a damn stick?

“Here,” Kevin said, shoving a large cup of coffee into Jax’s hands.  “It’s six o’clock in the damned morning and after what I just saw, you need the caffeine.”

Jax resisted the urge to wipe the smirk off of Kevin’s face and took the proffered drink.  His nerves were stretched thin as it was.  Kevin and Ethan had arrived at the house at five o’clock sharp, ready to follow him and Emily back to New York.  The plan was to make it just outside of the city, stay at a random hotel, and have Crest and the rest of the team members meet them there.  Taryn and Jessie were still back in Minneapolis as far as Jax knew.  Unfortunately, having Ethan stay in the SUV to keep watch outside allowed Kevin to come into the gas station with them, thus seeing Emily buy the pregnancy test.  It had been unavoidable, since he and Emily didn’t want to wait to find out.  They needed to know, especially before entering into Ryland’s territory.

“
I just bought a club,” Jax said, after having taken a drink of the hot liquid that he seemed to be living on lately.  “Seriously, I just bought a kink club.  If that stick turns purple —”

“Blue.”

“Whatever the fuck color it turns,” Jax replied, irritated that Kevin thought this was funny, “my life changes.”

“It’s changed regardless if she’s pregnant,” Kevin said, as if his words made sense.  They didn’t.  Why wasn’t he seeing this as clear as Jax?  “Having a relationship is a hell of a lot different than playing the field.”

“I know that, farm boy.”  Jax thought maybe it was a little leftover redneck shit that was skewing with Kevin’s head that he didn’t see the picture that Jax was painting.  “I think about what I did to Connor.  I mean, I practically forced him and Lauren together.  Now, she’s been threatened by this fucking killer that’s disappeared into thin air.  His life was fine beforehand, when it was only himself that he needed to worry about.”

“Well, you do have a tendency to do that,” Kevin said with a shrug of his shoulder, as if they’d come to expect something from him.

“What fucking tendency?”

“To meddle in other people’s lives.”  Kevin had that crooked ass grin on his face and somehow it stayed through a drink of his own coffee.  “Let’s just say that karma can be a bitch sometimes.”

The bathroom door opened and Jax would have sworn the earth’s axis tipped.  He turned so fast, the coffee splashed out of the hole in the top of the cup.  He didn’t feel it though.  He didn’t feel anything other than his heart racing and then the uninvited joy that sped through his veins at her tremulous smile.  Fuck.  It must have been purple.  He was going to be a father.

* * * *

“This changes everything, you know that,” Jax stated, his fingers tightening on the steering wheel.  He glanced in the rearview mirror, seeing Ethan and Kevin securely sitting behind them two car lengths back.  “The stakes are higher and when we get to the hotel, we’ll come up with a new plan.”

“Jax, my pregnancy changes nothing.”  Emily said one thing, but the protective way her arm was wrapped around her stomach said another.  “I have to be at that hearing.  Alekseev needs to be sent back to his own country and I need to deal with the NSA if I want a normal life.  We stick with the original plan.”

This equal shit out of the bedroom was getting old.  Jax didn’t say anything for a minute, trying to formulate the words to get her to understand why they couldn’t just waltz her into the United Nations buildings.

“When I spoke with Crest, he informed me
that Schultz was going to have Secret Service crawling all over a two mile radius.  The buildings themselves are already secure.  With the added manpower, Schultz is banking on being able to get you inside.”

“Then I don’t see a problem if —”

“We’ve finally agreed that Schultz is on our side, because if he wasn’t, we know that you would already be dead.”  Jax glanced over at her in time to see her wince.  Saying those words tore him up, but she had to understand this wasn’t some walk in the park on a sunny fucking day.  “You said yourself that you wanted me to see you through this.  And you, of all people, should be aware of what information the government has and how they get it.  We can kid ourselves, but don’t think that Schultz hasn’t known our whereabouts this entire time.  Which is why we came to the conclusion that Ryland is working on his own.  But this man, this killer, has more accuracy than any sharpshooter that Crest has ever seen.  Which means I don’t want to take a chance with you or our child’s life if this murderer can take you out in as much as a little past two miles.”

“I’ll be surrounded.  I’ll be wearing a vest.”  Emily rested her head back against the seat, as if she didn’t want to talk anymore. Tough shit.  He’d speak the entire trip until he got through to her.  “
And you’ll be by my side.”

Jax fisted one hand, placing it on his thigh
to prevent him from punching the dashboard.  What if he wasn’t good enough?  Had she ever thought of that?  The pressure inside the vehicle was enough to make him roll down the windows, but he couldn’t even do that.  He would never place her in danger.  That didn’t stop his chest from tightening at the thought of losing control of the situation and having her die in his arms. 

* * * *

Emily closed her eyes, hoping that Jax would just drive and give her a moment to gather her thoughts.  She understood what he was doing and why, but nothing he said would change the route they needed to take.  Regardless of anything monumental happening, Emily would be standing in front of the Security Council tomorrow morning at nine o’clock sharp.

She’d already given herself time to come to terms with carrying Jax’s child while she’d been in the restroom of the convenience store.  That wasn’t the most ideal place to confirm a pregnancy, but considering the situation they were in, at least she was alive to do so. 

A child.  Jax’s child.  Their child.  Was it a boy?  A girl?  A thousand more questions ran through her mind, but Emily knew that the answers wouldn’t be there.  Hell, she might not be here tomorrow.  She felt her eyes burn with tears, which truly shocked her.  Emily turned her head to the right, so that it seemed as if she were looking out the window.  She didn’t want Jax to see her in this state when it was obvious he was just as worried about the outcome as she.  She wasn’t a woman prone to crying, but life wouldn’t be so cruel as to give her such a precious gift and then take it away, would it?

How could the one word that appeared in the small window of the pee stick change her outlook on life?  It was as if looking at the word
pregnant
was a magic spell that cast visions of the future.  Emily swore she actually saw Jax appear in the mirror that had been before her, his large finger captured in the tiny hand of a newborn baby girl with beautiful blonde curls.  The image had faded, bringing to life Jax wearing his skullcap and leather jacket in the snow, while pulling a small boy behind him on a sled with matching flashing smiles. 

It wasn’t as if opening that bathroom door was going to reveal rabid wolves or really irritated lions, but there had still been a niggling of doubt as to what Jax’s reaction would be.  He’d said all the right words the night before, but had morning brought
more clarity as to what this would mean?  When he’d mumbled something about the color being purple, Emily had just held up the digitalized stick.  Her heart had flipped at seeing the goofy smile on his face and somehow, she knew that everything would be okay.  At least, she’d hoped.

“Had you ever thought of yourself as a father?” Emily asked,
rolling her head in his direction so that she could see his reaction.  He had reminded her often that they had to get to know one another again…take their time in reconnecting.  Some might say it was impossible, but she knew the moment she’d set eyes on him that he was the one.  She’d yet to say those words to him.  Maybe it was a deep-seated fear of exposing what was left of her soul.  She’d already given him everything else.  “I mean was it something that you would have wanted eventually?”

“Losing my parents and then becoming a Marine, only to see good, honest men die makes a man want a family more than anything.”  Jax paused, as if trying to come up with the right words.  She glanced down to see his hand fisted against his thigh.  She covered his hand with hers, wanting to ease his tension.  “Wanting and actually having are two separate things, Emily.  I feel…fuck.  I feel helpless right now.  As if it could
all be taken away from me with a pull of a trigger.  It can, and that’s what makes me —”

He’d broken off the rest of his sentence, but Emily waited, hoping that he would eventually continue.  Hearing his insecurities made her feel as if she wasn’t alone in hers.  As much as she needed to take control of her body, her emotional
state needed to feel connected to his.  Was it the pregnancy hormones or was she now ready to admit to him how she felt?

“
I’m being given everything I want on a silver platter, Emily, and we all know that doesn’t just happen.”  Jax’s voice was low and seemed to vibrate the seats.  He lifted her hand and gently kissed the back of it.  “Get some sleep.  We have a long drive.”

Emily
didn’t want the conversation to end, but knew that was all Jax was going to say.  His change of tone was obvious. They were both still adjusting to the news and with all the unanswered questions of what was going to happen tomorrow, it was probably pointless to continue talking about it anyway.  That didn’t stop Emily from caressing her stomach and mentally reassuring this baby snuggled deep within her that she would do everything in her power to make sure they came through this in one piece. 

Chapter Twenty-Four

The hotel room fell silent after Jax’s announcement. 
It was five in the morning and Emily watched tiredly as various expressions crossed the team’s face and she was baffled by most of them.  No matter how well she felt she knew Jax on an intimate and personal level, it was clearly obvious his friends knew him better on another. 

Connor had outright laughed to the point of holding the side of his stomach, while Kevin continued to smile. 
She didn’t see what was so humorous about her being pregnant with Jax’s child.  Ethan looked bemused, while Crest looked a tad bit shocked, although he’d recovered quickly enough. She would have thought they would have been either angry that they allowed this to happen at such a critical time, or maybe just be angry with her.

Lach was apparently left behind in Minneapolis to cover the security details on extended family.
  From what Crest had said, he’d recruited various men and women to help Lach in that endeavor while they handled things in New York.  Taryn also stayed in Minneapolis, apparently feeling more comfortable with her equipment at the office than anything she would have in such a remote area.  Jessie was apparently holding down the fort.

“Is anyone going to say anything?” Emily said, looking around the room at the men who seemed to have turned into boys. 

Emily took that thought back.  Not all of them appeared that way.  Crest was dressed in a pair of khaki pants and matching sweater, with a dress shirt underneath.  It confused her a little, considering the task they were undertaking this morning, but then understood why.  He was going to go inside the hearing with her as she testified in front of the Security Council. 

“They’ve said it all,” Jax said wryly, his low chuckle comforting her that he hadn’t taken offense to their reactions.  He turned his attention back to the men standing around the room.  Crest had taken a seat at the small table, a cup of coffee in front of him.  “Is there anything that we haven’t covered?”

“Nothing.”  Crest calmly took a drink of the liquid that Emily would have lunged for had Jax not made her a cup of herbal tea.  Until she saw a doctor, they were being cautious about what she ate and drank.  She briefly wondered if all newly pregnant women were neurotic, but discarded that thought.  She had more pressing worries at hand and she made herself focus on Crest’s words.  “Schultz has the two mile radius covered with Secret Service men.  Everyone is on the lookout for Ryland, although we know that he will most likely have changed his appearance.  Taryn is monitoring the area through the street security cameras and scanning for facial recognition.  Schultz will meet us at the United Nations and we’ll escort Emily inside to give her testimony.”

“I’m not leaving her side,” Jax said, his steel voice implying that his decision was final.  She knew it was and felt relief run through her.  It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Crest, but she needed
and wanted Jax with her at all times. 

“Which is why Schultz obtained clearance for
you.”  Crest looked around the room, as if taking in his team and reassuring himself that this mission was possible.  “There is something that all of you need to be aware of. I’ve seen Ryland’s handiwork up close.  Once I viewed the photo that Taryn lifted from Ryland’s contact with Batkin, I knew exactly who he was.  After Connor’s run-in with him in Paris, it’s easy to conclude he’s done his homework on me and all of you.  He’s taken this personally, which means it’s not just Emily who’s the target now, but all of us.  Jax and I, along with several of Schultz’s men, will escort Emily inside.  The rest of you will come in from different angles.  I want that room well guarded until they make their decision on the fate of Alekseev and Batkin.  Once it’s done, we’ll take the route that’s been mapped out and follow Schultz to the meeting with the NSA at an undisclosed location.  After that, we’ll reevaluate Emily’s situation.”

The room fell quiet and the commitment
and sacrifice that these men were willing to take in order to make sure she and her baby came out of this alive was overwhelming.  Emily hadn’t realized that Jax had been watching her until she felt his hand on her knee.  Meeting his gaze, she gave what she hoped appeared to be a confident smile. The last thing he needed was for her to think she doubted this could be done.

The next thirty minutes was spent discussing various ways this
day could go wrong, ratcheting up the already high stress level that simmered below the surface.  Once everyone seemed confident that they had everything covered, the men then concentrated on the weapons that were strapped to their bodies and easily accessible should they be needed.  Jax had changed into black pants and matching dress shirt that Kevin had handed him in a clothes bag.  He slid his arms into the jacket, making sure it covered his weapon.  She’d used the bathroom to change into the black pantsuit that they’d also provided and she didn’t bother to ask how they knew her size.  Jax had probably given them her measurements.  What did surprise her was when they were about to leave, Crest had laid a hand gently on her arm.

“We’ll do everything in our power to give you your life back, Emily.  I see the way Jax looks at you.”  Crest
glanced over at Jax who was talking with Kevin, not yet looking their way.  “It seems as if all his previous anger has turned into one of determination to see this through.  It’s his life as well and the team knows it.  We take care of our own.”

Jax wasn’t the only one that longed for a family and while Aunt Beatrice was her only living relative, it was astounding to know that family didn’t always mean blood.  These men loved Jax like a brother and now,
because of Jax’s feelings for her, they’d accepted her like a sister.  She blamed the watering of her eyes on the hormones that were obviously racing through her system.  Not able to speak, she nodded her head in acceptance.  If she managed to live through this, life promised her and Jax what they both longed for.

* * * *

Ryland forcibly relaxed his muscles as he studied the front of the building which housed the United Nations.  From his view, he could easily see the flags that stood tall lining the road, the slight wind coming off of the East River causing the fabrics to dance in the air.  The building was magnificent, with the black wrought iron fence surrounding portions of the grounds, while the landscape could take one’s breath away.  His only focus at the moment was the black vehicles descending upon the entrance.

He’d used the time from Paris back to the States to think on this assignment, as well as what it could to do his reputation.  There was also the part where it had turned personal for him
and he understood that the stakes had been raised.  Crest and this team of well put together military men and women had been a thorn in his side from the start.  Had he known all the specifics going into this operation, he might have been able to neutralize the agency.  As it was, Ryland now needed to send a clear message to his future business partners.  He didn’t view the people who paid him for murder to be his employers, but in essence, his associates.

One after the other, the black SUVs and town cars slowly came to a standstill.  No one got out, assuring him that
they were checking in with the Secret Service and others to assure that he was nowhere to be found or that another threat hadn’t materialized.  If he were in charge of her detail team, Grace Emily would be safely ensconced in the third vehicle.  He zeroed in with his scope, patiently waiting for what he knew was to come. 

“Come out and play with me, Crest.”

* * * *

Emily felt nauseous and would have given anything to stay in the back of this vehicle inside Jax’s secure embrace.  Unfortunately, that rational part of her brain knew that she had no choice but to expose herself to whatever may happen in the next hour, provided she lived for the next two minutes before even entering the building.
  His fingers were massaging her shoulder close to her neck where the vest rested, but his warm touch did nothing to ward off the cold that she knew was coming.

“Look at me.”

The stern tone of his voice surprised Emily and her gaze swung to his.  Jax’s hazel eyes were gleaming with those radiant brown flecks and he seemed more alive right now than he had since their scenes at the cabin.  Why it felt like it had been months instead of just two days ago was incomprehensible to her right now.  Mentally she knew what he was trying to do, but her emotional and mental state seemed to need it, for she felt a little like her old self. 

“You will do as I say, you will follow my lead, and you will make it through this alive with our child, do you understand me?” 

“Just so long as you understand I will do whatever it takes and if that means disobeying you, then so be it,” Emily stated with a small smile, feeling more confident than before.  “Feel free to punish me afterwards.”

“You have no idea the scenarios that are running through my mind right now,” Jax whispered in her ear, even though Crest had already opened the door and was preparing to exit the vehicle, “because if you don’t do exactly as I say, there will be hell to pay that won’t even come close to what you experienced before.”

Emily’s fear didn’t dissipate, but his attempt at easing it did help her transition into what needed to be done.  Crest leaned forward, holding his hand out for her to take.  She took it, sliding across the seat and feeling Jax do the same.  She had no doubt that he would be by her side the entire way.

Several men appeared to surround the door of the SUV the second she stepped out.  Crest brought her closer to him, giving Jax the time needed to unfold his large frame and stand beside her.  Flanking her, they started to walk.  Although she kept her head down, Emily managed to peek to the sides and catch glimpses of the morning light and the area surrounding them. 

“Three o’clock.”  Jax was the one to speak and she tensed at the hardness in his voice.  “Four men approaching.”

“If I tell you to break off, do it.”  Crest pulled his weapon and Emily placed a hand on the on
e in her holster.  She knew their loaded arms would have to be handed over upon entering the security station inside the building, but she was damn glad they had access to them now.  “Keep on course.”

Shouts and cries could be heard and everyone reacted at once. 
Panic filled her senses, but Emily had the wherewithal to know what was coming and relaxed her body, although she managed to keep her right arm over her abdomen to protect their child.  She hit the ground, Jax and Crest doing their best to cushion her fall.  She frantically tried to turn and see if anyone had been shot when each man took her by the arm and struggled to get themselves into a standing position. 

“Move, move, move!”

Breathlessly, Emily did as instructed, as well as the men still surrounding her.  They managed to get inside while police, Secret Service, and the security for the United Nations rushed out the doors.  Emily was confused as to what happened, but didn’t have time to ask before the men in front of her parted and there stood Schultz Jessalyn, looking concerned and angry. 

“Looks l
ike you weren’t the only target,” Schultz stated.  Emily knew then that someone had died outside of the United Nations.  She felt immediate remorse for the person who’d been executed, but couldn’t help but question as to why it wasn’t her.  “Let’s see if we can get through the rest of the day without casualties.”