Sins of the Mother (16 page)

“I love you, Alexis,” he whispered.

Her mind tried to close her ears, but her heart heard him and told her that his words were true. But what was she supposed to do with that?

She told him her own truth, “You loved me before, and it wasn’t enough.”

“I had a problem then, but I don’t anymore. And I want the chance to prove this to you.”

A chance. Just a couple of hours before, Cabot had asked for a chance.

She stayed silent, stared more at the ceiling. Connected the dots to see the old formations she’d created over the years whenever worries kept her awake and looking up.

“I promise,” he began as he tightened his arms around her, “I will never lie to you again. You will never have to worry about other women . . . or anything.”

She stared more at the crevices and wondered if there were new formations since the last time she’d lain in this bed.

His lips moved gently against her ear when he whispered, “I will spend the rest of my life making it all up to you. Give me . . . give us this chance.”

She said nothing.

“We’ll do it any way you want . . . we’ll take it slow, or we’ll go down to City Hall tomorrow.”

With those words, she rolled onto her side. Leaned back against him—her back to his front. A spoon made of skin.

She turned her head slightly to look at the ceiling again. There did seem to be new formations, but it was still familiar.

This was home.

I
AM THE MAN
!

This time, though, the words inside him were not boisterous. Instead, they were soft, sweet, almost too sweet. Made him lean over and kiss Alexis’s lips.

She stirred but didn’t awaken, and he was glad. He wanted her to stay just like this, asleep in their bed. So that he could look at her and not have to pinch himself. So that he could thank God for this blessing.

Everything he’d had to do—including waiting—had been worth it for this moment. Silently, he told God that he was never going to mess up again.

“There will never be another secret. Never another lie, sweetheart,” he whispered, and hoped his words would somehow go deep into her soul so that when she awakened, she would know that his commitment, his love, was true.

She already had to know that he would do anything for her. Like last night, with Misty. It was a shame that he’d had to use the young woman like that. But she’d been up for it. When
he asked her out for drinks, he’d told her up front that he was interested in getting his wife back. Misty had been surprised at first, but then agreed because he’d been “such a good neighbor.” Turned out the young woman, who was engaging and intelligent and truly interested in being a surgeon someday, was studying now at UCLA.

Alexis moaned, stretched, then opened her eyes, looking straight into his.

“You’re my Sleeping Beauty,” he said.

“That is so corny.”

“That’s what happens when you’re in love.” He kissed her forehead. “I love you, Alexis.” He waited for her to say the same.

But she didn’t. Just raised herself up a bit and glanced over his shoulder. “It’s almost nine! Why did you let me sleep so late?” She fell back onto the bed. “I have to get to work.”

“I thought it would be good if we spent the day together.” He leaned over her. “Preferably in bed.”

She smiled.

“And then we can get up and run down to City Hall to get married, right before we go to your town house and pack up everything—”

She laughed. “I thought you said we were going to take this slow.”

“Okay,” he said, feigning disappointment that wasn’t too much of a stretch. Not that he really thought she’d marry him today. But there was nothing wrong with hoping.

When she pulled him close and kissed him, his hopes rose.

The phone rang, and he ignored it at first. But by the third ring, he remembered he was a doctor, rolled over, and glanced at the caller ID. It was the New York City number that made him grab the receiver before the call went to voice mail.

“May I speak to Doctor Brian Lewis?” the male voice asked.

“Speaking,” he said, still leaning over Alexis.

“This is Agent Ruffin from the FBI. Do you have a moment?”

He frowned. “What is this regarding?”

“I’m working with the NYPD regarding Jacqueline Bush.”

Just the mention of his daughter’s name made his heart skip a couple of beats. “Ja—” Stopping himself before he repeated her name, he rolled away from Alexis and planted his feet on the floor. Why would the FBI be calling him about his . . . about Jasmine and Hosea’s daughter? “Could you hold on a moment?” he said into the phone, then, to Alexis, “Sweetheart, this is a . . . consultation.” He cringed as the first lie slipped so easily between his lips. “I’m gonna take this in the living room so you can go back to sleep.”

“I don’t want to sleep,” she said with a gaze that he hoped meant she’d soon say she loved him, too. He wanted to kiss her so badly, but it was the man on the other end of the phone who really had his heart pounding.

He walked quickly toward the door, then partially closed it behind him. In the living room, he moved to the far end of the sofa before he brought the phone back to his ear. He whispered, “How can I help you, Mr. Ruffin?”

“I’ll get right to the point,” the agent said. “I understand you’re the”—there was a pause and then the ruffling sound of paper—“father of Jacqueline Bush?”

Brian nodded and then remembered that the man was three thousand miles away. “Yes, her biological father.” He kept his voice low.

“Well, I’m sorry to tell you this . . . the minor, Jacqueline Bush, is missing.” The words took Brian’s breath away, but he didn’t have any time to recover before he was asked, “Were you aware of this?”

“No,” he said, louder than he wanted to. Then softer,
“No.” Glancing over his shoulder, he asked, “What do you mean, she’s missing?”

The agent told Brian about the trip to the mall, then he began to ask questions: When was the last time he saw his daughter? What was his relationship with her, and with Hosea and Jasmine? And did he know of anyone who would want to hurt the child? But it was the last question that made Brian raise his voice a bit.

The agent asked, “The mother, Jasmine Bush, do you think she’s involved?”

“With her daughter being kidnapped? No!” And then he lowered his voice once more. “Definitely not.”

“Okay, Doctor Lewis. Well, that’s all the questions I have for you right now.”

Now he had questions of his own. “So what’s being done to find her?” He was surprised at the emotion in his voice.

“Everything we can. The detectives from New York may be in touch with you. They may have a few more questions.”

“Yes, yes, of course. Anything I can do.” He assured the agent that he would be available. Finally, he clicked off the phone, shaking.

The FBI! Well, obviously, he wasn’t any kind of suspect or else they would’ve shown up at his door. But still . . . he took a deep breath.

Jacqueline is missing!

The touch of her hands on his shoulders made Brian jump inches into the air.

“Sorry,” Alexis said, moving from behind him. “I didn’t mean to scare—”

He held up his hands. “No, I’m sorry.”

She came around to the front of the couch, and his eyes began at the tips of her pumpkin-colored toes and slowly rose. He paused at her calves and remembered the way her legs had
been wrapped around him last night. Right above her knees, the cloth began—one of his starched white shirts that covered her but somehow made her look as sexy as when she was nude.

But though all he wanted to do was take her into his arms, he couldn’t. He couldn’t touch her at all, not with the news he’d just heard. Because if he touched her, he would tell her. And if he told her, he’d lose her. He was sure that the mention of Jasmine’s name, even in the middle of this, would drive Alexis far away.

“Are you okay?” she asked before she sat next to him.

He nodded. “I’m fine.”
My second lie.

She hesitated for a moment before she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his ear. “You know, I was thinking,” she said between nibbles, “you’re right. Let’s stay in bed today.”

Brian closed his eyes. He was in the moment, the one that he’d been praying for, waiting for. And as slowly as it had come, it was quickly slipping away.

He faced his ex-wife and forced his lips to spread. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart, but I can’t.”

She leaned back. “Ooookay . . .”

“I just found out . . .” He paused and prepared lie number three. “I have to go into the office.” He watched the suspicion rise behind Alexis’s eyes, and he wanted to hold her, assure her. But his hands stayed in his lap. After too many silent moments, he said, “Let’s make plans . . . to get together . . . later . . . maybe.”

“Ooookay,” she said again, jumping up from the sofa.

Moments later, he heard her inside the bedroom, moving quickly, trying to make a fast getaway.

“Please, God,” he said under his breath, though he didn’t know if he was praying for Alexis or Jacqueline.

It didn’t take Alexis even five minutes to dress and return to
the living room looking the way she had when she’d come into his apartment. From the clothes she wore to the expression on her face, she was back to the woman who’d walked in last night. She was brewing with hurt and anger.

His heart ached already.

He walked her to the door and kissed her before he opened it. Said, “I’ll call you later,” but he didn’t answer the questions that were in her eyes. When she stepped outside, he hated that he felt relieved. He hated that he didn’t wait for her to get on the elevator before he closed the door. But he needed to be alone.

He trudged back to the bedroom and lay in the same space where they’d made beautiful love. But his thoughts were not on Alexis.

There were so many questions; he needed so many answers. But there was one thing that he did know—he had to help his daughter.

It didn’t make a lot of sense to him—the way he wanted to do something. It wasn’t like he had a relationship with Jacqueline . . . she had no idea who he was.

“She’s my daughter,” he said, as if he was in a debate with himself.

For long minutes he thought about what he had to do. He thought about how this decision would affect the rest of his life. It was the latter thoughts that sickened him; that made his head throb, his stomach rumble; and that gave him the biggest pain in his heart.

Still, he had to do this. Even though he knew that it was going to cost him.

A
LEXIS HAD A SINKING FEELING
. It had begun the moment she’d seen Brian’s face when he’d answered the phone. It continued even now, hours later. If it didn’t stop, it would drag her heart back into the abyss she had just climbed out of.

How had this happened again?

She was back in this place—the dark side of Brian, with his secrets and his lies.

Though it wasn’t like he had actually told her a lie. He hadn’t told her anything. But he definitely had a secret.

She slammed the budget report onto her desk. “This is what I get for going backward,” she said.

The thought that she’d gotten caught up this way with Brian sickened her. It was ridiculous to think that she and Brian could do this again, and even more ridiculous to believe that Brian had changed. He just came with secrets. And lies. And plenty of drama.

Springing up, she stepped to the window, the events of the last hours as clear as the glass in front of her.

Most of their time together had been beyond wonderful. The way he’d taken her to that fantastic, familiar place as they made love. The way he’d held her all through the night. The way he’d whispered promises of undying love and complete truth when he thought she was asleep. She’d fallen for it all.

Then.

This morning.

The phone rang.

Alexis thought about each moment again, trying to catch a clue as to what had happened. Who was that call from? What had been said that wiped away every effort Brian had made over the weeks, the months?

She had no idea why she was asking herself that. She knew who it was—a woman. It was
always
a woman. And truth—she was almost sure what that call had been about. Something she’d feared since she’d found out about Jasmine and Jacqueline. This was another woman stepping up, telling Brian that he had fathered
her
child.

She sighed, acknowledging the fear. There had to be more children lurking out there. There had to be. With the hundreds of women he’d slept with, he couldn’t have been lucky enough to father only one.

She shook her head. She’d been crazy to think that she could handle this. She wasn’t woman enough. Or maybe she was too much of a woman.

The ringing phone interrupted her confusion, and she took two giant steps and grabbed the receiver.

“Hello,” she answered, mad at herself for being so eager.

“Hey, I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay. You didn’t call last night.”

At the sound of Kyla’s voice, Alexis shrank into her chair; her hope that it would be Brian professing his love for her was gone. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Last night . . . I . . . just fell right
into bed,” she said, leaving out the part that it was Brian’s bed she’d fallen into.

“Really?” Kyla sounded disappointed. “I thought . . . now, don’t get mad at me, Alex, but I thought you’d gone to Brian. At least, that’s what I was hoping.” She paused when Alexis didn’t respond. Then continued, “I know you were upset about his showing up with that girl, but you’ve got to know that he was just trying to make you jealous. Jefferson told me that he’d told Brian . . .”

Alexis massaged her closed eyes and wondered if she should tell Kyla that she’d been a fool, that she’d slept with Brian and he’d gone right back to his lying, cheating ways.

“Are you listening to me?” Kyla asked.

“Yeah, I’m just . . . tired. Still not feeling that great.”

“You know, there’s a mean flu going around.”

“Yeah, that’s what it is—the flu,” Alexis said, feeling more of an urge now to tell her friend. She had to tell someone about the hurt that had come back to her heart. Pressing the phone closer to her ear, Alexis said, “Something did happen last night—”