Snowbound Hearts (10 page)

“I left because I don’t want you to stay away from me. That’s the problem, Stephen. Don’t you get it?”

“I get it. You have to let him go, Audrey. Stop torturing yourself over some guy you don’t love. Over breakfast this morning, you told me how you feel about me. You didn’t say the words, but I think I understand why. You want me to say it first. That’s what this is all about, right? You said you saw it in my eyes, but don’t really believe it because you haven’t heard me say it.” Stephen grasped her hands and tugged her into his arms. He looked her directly in the eye. “Audrey, I...”

She put her hand over his mouth. “Don’t say it, Stephen.”

“Don’t you want to hear me say it?”

“Oh, I
so
want to hear you say it. Almost as much as I want to believe it, but no matter what we think, it’s not true. Stephen, we’ve known each other less than two days. Love takes time. Two people don’t take one look into each other’s eyes and fall hopelessly in love. It’s not real. Let me explain what’s happened here. It’s the situation, the setting, and an overabundance of hormones. We’ve tricked ourselves into believing that it’s something more. You’re not in love with me, and as painful as this is for me to say”—she gasped and pressed her forehead to his chest—”I’m not in love with you.” She wrapped her arms tightly around him, trembling violently. “I mean, my God, the whole idea of getting snowed in with a hot, handsome, lovable stranger is ridiculous. Here’s a little confession. I’ve had fantasies about this sort of thing. That’s all this is, a fantasy, and when we get out of here, it’ll be over. I’ll go my way, you’ll go your way, and we’ll never see each other again. Think about it, Stephen. It’s utterly insane.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Audrey. I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been. It doesn’t make sense that the sweetest, sexiest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen would show up on my doorstep with nowhere else to go and fall madly in love with me. Of course it’s just a fantasy. I got so caught up in it I didn’t stop to think that life doesn’t work that way. I’m really sorry to have put you through all this.”

Stephen hated agreeing with her when he knew she was wrong, but he didn’t know what else to say. No amount of arguing would convince her that they were in love, no matter how quickly those feelings had developed. He could feel her slipping through his fingers, and there was nothing he could do to hang on. She wouldn’t let him help her with her problems. Maybe whatever had caused her to have so much self-doubt was an issue that she needed to come to terms with on her own. His only choice was to back off and give her the space she wanted.

Audrey let him go and stepped away. “Oh, please don’t apologize. I’m just as much to blame as you. Maybe more. I
so
wanted it to be real, because—well, that doesn’t matter now.”

Even with the dim light inside the cabin, Stephen could see tears streaming down her cheeks. “Okay then, good luck with your fire. I’m heading back. If anyone shows up to get me, I’ll send them your way.”

She brushed her hand across her eyes and sighed deeply. “Right. I just need something to make a spark.”

Stephen grabbed her hand. “Oh, for God’s sake. You’re coming with me. For the record, I wouldn’t even leave my boss here alone with no food or fire.”

When they got back, Stephen threw a log into the stove, stoked it up, and slogged heavily into his bedroom. He took a quick glance at Audrey situating her covers on the sofa and closed the door behind him. He dressed for bed, put out the light, and crawled under the covers. Every gust of wind that pelted the window with snow and every little creak of the cabin had him checking the door to see if Audrey was knocking. She was lying on the sofa only a few steps away, but the distance between them was as unbridgeable, as if she were in another universe. Stephen spent the loneliest night of his life sleeping on the wrong side of a rift that separated him from the one person in all the world he wanted to be near.

***

Audrey cried as quietly as possible. She didn’t want Stephen to hear because he’d ask for an explanation and she didn’t have one for him. Just because she knew their little fantasy wasn’t real didn’t make it feel any less real. Stephen was separated from her by a thin slab of wood. She could easily swing it aside and crawl into his arms, the one place in all the world that she most wanted to be. He could ease her pain and give her love, and he’d do just that if she let him. He’d play the part of her fantasy lover and do an exceptional job of it. She could immerse herself in her imagination again and everything would be fine until he broke her heart, the way Daniel had.

She hugged her stomach with both arms trying to ease the agony. Her insides felt all twisted in knots like someone had stuck a hand down her throat, yanked her guts out, and shoved them back in the wrong way.

And what of Stephen? He had feelings too. She had drafted him into her make believe world to have someone to keep her company and distract her from her problems, rather than face the pain of reality. What she had done wasn’t fair to him, but she couldn’t hold herself completely responsible because he was so convincing playing the part of her soul mate that she couldn’t distinguish the man from the image in her mind.

For six years she had believed the exact same thing about Daniel, only to have him shatter her world. She clasped her right hand over her engagement ring and wept bitterly while she considered what to do. Stephen would think she was crazy for sure, and maybe she was, because regardless of her prior commitment and the notion that Stephen’s and her feelings for each other weren’t real, she wanted him, more than she had ever wanted anyone.

Even if they only had a few more days together, she was going to do everything in her power to spend them in his arms and live her fantasy for as long as she could. When the time came, she’d go back to her real life, accept the consequences of her actions, and do her best to forget about being snowed in with Stephen. If she could get him back on board, she’d make sure they enjoyed as much bliss as possible for as long the bad weather held out.

***

The smell of coffee drifting into the bedroom woke Stephen. Audrey was seated at the table by the stove, staring at a cup with steam coming out. Stephen slogged into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and let it run to warm up while he got undressed. The door opened, startling him.

“Hey!” he said, spinning around.

Audrey raised a hand and waved at him. “Hey yourself.”

Stephen glanced around, looking for a towel to cover himself, and realized that he hadn’t bothered to grab one out of the linen closet. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen him naked already; the situation just felt awkward after everything that had transpired. “What’cha doing, Audrey?”

She cocked her head and sighed heavily as her gaze fell to some point below his abs. “I am going to take a shower. What are you doing?”

“That’s kind of what I had in mind, seeing as how I have the water running and I’m standing here naked, but if you really want to go first, be my guest.” He stepped aside and motioned to the open shower curtain.

Audrey closed the door and stood in front of it. She reached under the long T-shirt she was wearing, dropped her panties to her ankles, and stepped out of them.

“Okay, that’s interesting,” Stephen said, suddenly aware of his thumping heart.

She grasped the hem of her T-shirt, pulled it off over her head, and stood there, grinning.

“
Um...
” Stephen paused, unable to formulate a complete thought. Light brown freckles dotted her pale skin. Her big pink nipples stood proud, accentuating her voluptuous breasts. A thin triangle of auburn fuzz adorned the uppermost portion of her otherwise bare pubic region. He couldn’t tear his gaze from her as she strutted right up to him.

She placed her index finger onto his lips and slowly slid it down his chin to his neck, watching intently as it tracked over his throat, between his pecks, through his navel all the way to his pubic bush.

She just as slowly returned her gaze to his. “You were saying?”

Stephen swallowed hard. He allowed his gaze to slide down her body, absorbing every photon that bounced off her beautiful skin. From the moment she walked into the cabin, he had longed to see her body, and now that she was standing naked in front of him he couldn’t even blink.

“Oh my God, you’re so beautiful.”

She shrugged and frowned at him. “I’m not beautiful, Stephen, really. My skin is covered with blotches of freckles. I’ve got this damn orange clown hair. I look like a freak.”

“Audrey”—Stephen placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye—”you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

She blinked hard and looked away. “I can’t imagine why you’d think that, but thank you for saying it.”

Stephen slid his fingers down her arm and grasped her left hand. “Doesn’t
he
tell you that?”

She leaned her forehead against his chest. “Please don’t ruin the moment.”

He kissed the top of her head, whishing he could see her eyes. “Didn’t we make an agreement to leave each other alone?”

“Is that really what you want, Stephen?”

“No, but this
fantasy
of ours will never work because of your commitment to him. You haven’t told me anything about him. I don’t even know his name. Honestly, Audrey, I’m beginning to think he doesn’t exist.” Stephen hooked a finger under her chin and coaxed her into raising her head. He examined her face for any indication that he was right about her fiancé, but she just closed her eyes and stepped into his arms.

“Our fantasy doesn’t end until the snow stops. I gave this a lot of thought while I was lying on the sofa last night. I couldn’t sleep because I wasn’t in your arms. I don’t want to spend the time we have left apart. I don’t care about the future, Stephen, I’m only concerned about right now.”

Stephen took her to him, reveling in the contact of her bare skin with his. Living in the moment was fine, but it wasn’t enough. He
did
care about the future, and he wanted to spend it with Audrey. There was more going on inside her head than simply deciding between two men. That much was obvious, but as for the details, only Audrey knew, and she wasn’t telling. His time was running out, and he had failed make his case. The only thing he could do was play along and look for any opportunity to convince her that he was the right choice. “Okay, fine. Right or wrong, we’ll spend the time we have left in each other’s arms.”

“Until the snow stops.”

“Yeah, until the snow stops. To hell with what happens after that. All that matters is the present. Do you want to take a shower with me?”

She shot him a pouty grin and nodded. “Yes, I’d like that.”

He drew a deep breath and blew it out forcefully. “Well, get in.”

Stephen watched as Audrey stepped into the shower, bent over, and picked up the soap. She turned and handed it to him. “Wash me.”

“
Um
.” His voice cracked as he tried to speak. He cleared his throat and started again. “Wash what, your back?”

“My body, Stephen. All of it.”

He joined her in the shower, soaping his hands. “Okay, but I’m starting with the fun parts, so this is your only chance to change your mind.”

“I won’t change my mind.” Audrey turned her back to Stephen and pressed herself against him. He reached around, soaped her breasts, and washed them over and over, eventually making his way down to her other fun parts.

Stephen took a seat on the toilet lid, and Audrey leaned against the vanity as they dried themselves. He opened his mouth, but she put a finger to her lips.

“
Shh.
Please don’t ask questions.”

She dropped her towel and strutted slowly over to stand in front of him. Stephen placed his hands on her waist and turned his gaze up to meet hers. She straddled his lap and sat face-to-face with him, pressing her crotch down firmly against his. The contact of her moist flesh made him throb with anticipation.

“Aren’t you enjoying this, Stephen? There’s something about getting so close to you, knowing we can’t have sex, that makes me crazy hot. What do you think most guys would do right now, in this exact situation?” Audrey wiggled from side to side.

Stephen pulled her tightly onto him, ran his hands around to her bare bottom, and massaged it. “I’m thinking they’d probably do what I really,
really
want to do.”

She drew a quick breath, shuttering slightly. “Even though I said we can’t?”

“Maybe.” He pressed his eyes tightly closed as she rotated her hips around in little circles. “Audrey, a guy can only take so much teasing. I hit my breaking point in the shower while you were soaping my...”

She put a finger to his lips. “I’ve hit my breaking point too.”

Stephen opened his eyes to find himself locked in her gaze. Audrey tugged the engagement ring from her finger and set it on vanity. The little metallic clink it made sent his heart racing. The moment he had been waiting for since he first laid eyes upon her had finally arrived. The intense longing and constant frustration of the last days were about to culminate in a burst of mind-shattering passion. He wondered how long he’d be able to last after all the torment she’d put him through and hoped she was as close to the brink as he. She pressed her lips to his, sliding her slippery flesh along the length of his shaft toward the tip.

The telephone in the main room rang, echoing loudly in the extremely quiet cabin. Audrey squealed as she and Stephen both jumped. “Oh my God, that scared the piss out of me.” She squeezed him and laughed.

He nodded, grinning at her. “Yeah, I noticed that I’m awfully warm and wet right where you’re sitting.”

She playfully shoved his shoulder and got out of his lap. “That’s not
pee
, silly.” Audrey grabbed her ring and slipped it back onto her finger.

Stephen sighed as he watched her back away from him. Murder was too good a punishment for whoever had decided to call at such an inopportune moment. He wanted to ignore the phone, grab Audrey, and ravage her, but she was already heading toward the door. He got up and tagged after her, jogged over, and picked up the phone. “Hello?”