Soft Shock (22 page)

“How have you
been?” Kristin put a hand on his knee.

“Okay.” He
tensed but didn’t remove her hand. He stared at her fingers, wondering what the
hell he was thinking. Was he really considering letting the hailstorm that had
been Kristin into his life? Had the likely outnumbered good times been worth
the frustration and constant drama?

“I’ve been
miserable without you.”

“Really?” Owen
asked. She hadn’t looked so miserable in Nassau.

“All those
pictures and texts I sent, I just wanted you to be jealous,” she said as if
reading his mind. “I wanted you to fight to get me back. And you wouldn’t even
say a word. It’s like I was dead to you.”

You kind of were
, Owen thought, but he
didn’t say anything. He just waited for her to continue.

“I guess there’s
no point in dragging this out. In case it’s not super obvious what I’m doing
here, let me spell it out. I’m here to get you back.” She moved closer until
the outsides of their jean-clad thighs were pressed together before reaching
out and clasping his hands in hers.

“What happened
to Justin?” He stared at their hands clasped together. He kept waiting to feel
something—a relief, a rush, anything—but there was nothing.

“He’s not you,
Owen. Nobody’s
like
you. Nobody’s nearly as wonderful
or forgiving or anything that you are. That’s what made me fall in love with
you in the first place. Then I did a
short-sighted
thing and left you. But I know better now. Nobody’s better for me. Nobody’s
better period.” She leaned her head on his arm. “I’ll do anything to get you
back. To show you how sorry I am that I screwed up. But there’s one thing I
won’t do. I refuse to give up on us.”

Owen couldn’t
help but think,
Why couldn’t it be
Marci’s lips saying those words?

“So what about
it?” Kristin asked. “Will you give me another chance?”

Owen stared at
her as he debated his answer with himself in his mind.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Marci ended up
going to Orange County, California to spend Christmas with her mom and Mom’s
husband-of-the-moment because she wanted to be as far away as possible from the
state where Owen was. Unfortunately, it was January now, and that meant winter
break would be over soon. And she would be headed back to Virginia.

Tyler came out to
Cali with her, deciding he could also use the mental break. Marci was
grateful
as it was really good to have both good company and
a buffer between her and her “parents.” Ronnie was preoccupied with her uncle in
New Jersey. They got updates from her occasionally. Apparently, her uncle was
doing well in physical therapy and improving overall.

Marci was dying
to ask if Ronnie had heard from Jeremy—and to casually drop in a query
about whether Jeremy had mentioned anything about what Owen was up to—but
she restrained herself. In fact, she was pretty proud of how well she was able
to put the “O” word at the back of her mind—for a few moments a day
anyway.

Things were
good right now, and she couldn’t even enjoy it.
Because of a
boy
.
She’d checked her grades
online and discovered Professor Ming had given her an A on her final project.
She’d worked her ass off, and it’d paid off. Now, instead of being able to
revel in her success, she was sitting here, having to redirect her wayward mind
every time it wandered in the wrong direction.

She was annoyed
with how she’d let a guy get under her skin. She’d thought she’d armed herself
so well against that. Somehow, Owen had snuck past all her defenses. She hadn’t
been prepared for someone so…good.

Now that they’d
called things off, he kept creeping into her thoughts.
The
silence of her phone.
The texts that she did
not
receive,
not even a Merry Christmas
text. These were the things that drove her nearly out of her mind with
annoyance—mostly at herself.
With anger.
And most infuriating of all?
With sadness.

The high school
boy, that’d been one thing. High school relationships falling apart you could
chalk up to statistics and inexperience. Getting cheated on sucked, sure, but
them was the breaks as G.K. had reminded her all too often. But the college
boy—she’d fallen for him so hard. That breakup had nearly killed her.
When she’d found herself treading those dangerous waters once again with Owen,
her only option had been to swim like hell for shore. Right?

Marci was
lounging out by the pool with her sunglasses on, trying to catch a nap, a few
days after New Year’s. She was trying desperately to distract herself with
thoughts of the weekend so she wouldn’t think of that fool boy or anything else
related to Virginia. Some of her friends from undergrad who lived in L.A. now
had invited her to a party, and Tyler had met some people at a club who’d
invited him to a party that weekend as well. She was thinking maybe they could
go to both when she heard the glass door behind her slide open and shut
followed by
ear-splitting
squealing and howling. Only
one creature on the face of the Earth could make such sounds.

“Tyler,” Marci
said. She opened her eyes to look up at him through her sunglasses. He was
nearly dancing around her lounge chair. “What is with you?”

“You won’t
believe this.” He ran the words together and repeated the phrase three times
before continuing. “
I
can barely
believe it. So how could you? How could anyone else?” He tried to sit but was
up again and flitting around her chair in seconds. “They always say when you
least expect it, but still. How. Could. This
happen
?” Tyler jumped in the air and screamed before perching on
the end of her lounge chair. Then he jumped up again and started dancing from
foot to foot, apparently incapable of remaining still even for a moment.

“What is it?”
Marci asked. “Tell me, please, before you explode.”

“Okay, so I was
in the grocery store, minding my own business, shopping for avocadoes for our
masks tonight and enough to make some guacamole as well.” He flipped his bangs
out of his eyes. “And this guy comes up to me and starts asking me all these
questions about avocadoes. At first, I thought he was hitting on me, but I
didn’t quite get that vibe from him. So I just answered his questions and was
polite, thinking maybe he really was out of his element and he wasn’t usually
the one to do the grocery shopping in his house. Whatever. He asked what I do,
and I told him, blah blah blah.” Tyler paused and fanned himself with both
hands. He jumped up and down a few times before continuing. “Then he tells me
he really likes the way I handle an avocado. I go back to thinking maybe he is
trying to hit on me after all, and he’s just miserably bad at it. And I’m
thinking, even if he
is
gay, so not
my type.
Big, sweaty, balding with a ponytail.
You
just need to shave it all off at that point, you know? Faded black T-shirt
that’s been washed to almost gray and wrinkled jeans. Now how much work do you
have to do to
wrinkle
jeans?
And so sweaty.
I know it’s hot out here, but
ew
. A stereotypical
no
,”
Tyler said. “But you never know who you’re talking to, so I’m glad I was nice.”

“Who did he
turn out to be?” Marci said, thinking he was going to be a screenwriter or
something
who
’d worked with one of Tyler’s favorite
celebrities.

“Okay, so he
follows up his strange handling the avocado comment with, get this! He says
that he’s putting together this pilot for a new sitcom, and I would be perfect
for the lead! He gave me an address,
and he wants me to drop by and read for the part tomorrow. Get this, they’ve
already held the official auditions and are doing callbacks now, but he likes
me so much, he wants me to
read for it
and meet everybody
!”

Marci jumped up
and hugged him. “Tyler, that’s fantastic!” They danced around for a moment.

Tyler babbled,
“Oh my God! Of course, it’s not theater, definitely not Broadway, but you have
to start somewhere.”

“Tyler, it’s
such great news! Your hard work has paid off like I knew it would.”

“Yeah? ‘Cause I
wasn’t so sure and was getting less sure all the time.”

“That’s what
I’m here for—to remind you of how incredible you are.”

Tyler grinned
crack-your-face huge. “So are you coming with me tomorrow to read for this
thing?”

“Of course.”

“Good.” Tyler
hugged her, and they jumped up and down together a final time. “I’ll be right
back. I’m going to get changed so I can go for a swim.” Tyler turned and looked
at the back of the house and let out a low whistle.

“What?” Marci
asked even though she was pretty sure she knew what.

“I still don’t
understand how you can hate coming out here and staying in this house,” Tyler
said. “This place is like a palace from some fairytale.”

The “estate”,
and G.K. refused to call it anything else, sprawled out over several acres and
included a guesthouse, a pool house, a full tennis court, a swimming pool, a
koi pond, and a small orange grove. Not to mention the main house, which took
up its fair share of space with its eight bedrooms, ten bathrooms, and a host
of other useless and mostly unused rooms. Tyler was in love with his guest room
and its en suite bathroom.

“What could
there possibly be to hate about coming to this place?” Tyler asked.

Marci snorted.
“Have you met the people who live in it?”

Tyler patted
her shoulder. “Oh, Marce. One of these days, we’ll get that chip off for you.”

“Whatever. Go
change, superstar. The sooner you swim, the sooner we can get to our facials.”

“True.” Tyler
bounded off toward the house.

Marci was
excited for him, and she loved him, but being around Tyler was exhausting right
now. Everything was exhausting. It was hard to get excited about anything when
she spent so much time being preoccupied with things she didn’t even want to
think about.

It was as if
the more she tried to push Owen out of her mind, the more he refused to leave
it. Was it just that she was the type to want what she couldn’t have? Or was
there more to it? She hoped it was the former, but she had a feeling it was the
latter.

Chapter Twenty-Five

When Ronnie got
back from Jersey in late January, Marci and Tyler took her out to dinner to
welcome her home. Ronnie was taking the spring semester off, as she would be
doing a lot of traveling back and forth between Virginia and Jersey for the
next few months. The only reason she wasn’t staying in Jersey full-time this
semester was that she didn’t want to lose her job at Schaffer’s. Ronnie was in
the nursing school, and she thought there must be something useful she could do
for her uncle by being up there. Just having her by his side was probably help
enough, though.

The three of
them went to a steakhouse near the interstate, which was one of Ronnie’s
favorite restaurants. Tyler wrinkled his nose at the menu and ordered a salad
almost as soon as they sat down.

“Man. Am I glad
to be back. I missed you guys, and I need a break from those
people
. I know everybody has crazy in
their
family, but sheesh. I don’t even wanna talk about it
right now.” Ronnie rolled her eyes. “How have things been here?”

“Good,” Marci
said automatically. Tyler threw her a glance, and Marci shrugged. “Tyler, tell
her your good news,” Marci said before Tyler could go down any paths he
shouldn’t be going down.

“I got a part
in a TV show! Well, it might be a TV show. We should know for sure in a few
days.” Tyler went on to tell Ronnie about the pilot, which was in negotiations
to be picked up for ten episodes. And just when Marci thought she was in the
clear, Tyler added, “And Marci broke up with her non-boyfriend.”

Marci threw
Tyler daggers with her eyes, and he smiled sweetly at her. He swept his bangs
out of his eyes and turned to Ronnie.

Ronnie took a
sip of her Coke. “I missed a lot, apparently.”

“It’s not a big
deal,” said Marci. “You both know how I am. It was going to fall apart sooner
or later. It just happened sooner. Rather than later.”

Ronnie shook her
head sadly. “That boy drove you all the way to New Jersey in a snow
storm. I wish I’d had a man who’d ever
tried to be half to me of what he’s obviously trying to be to you.”

“What?” Marci
said. “I didn’t ask him to do it.” She hadn’t, technically.

“What are you
waiting for?” Ronnie leaned forward, her cleavage spilling out of her low-cut
sweater. “A literal knight in shining armor on a white horse? Who happens to be
the prince of some island nation?”

“I’m not
waiting for anything. I don’t like being tied down.”

“You have to
settle down eventually,” Ronnie said.

“According to
who? What’s the point of marriage or any of that crap? It’s outdated,
antiquated, and it doesn’t last.”

“So what? You
want to die an old spinster?”

“I’d prefer to
be a rich old woman surrounded by lots of sexy, young cabana boys. But whatever
happens, happens.”

“You’re
unbelievable.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, well, I
still think you’ve fallen for him. You can deny it all you want—”

“And I will. I
could have had him if I wanted him. Instead, I sent him away.”

“You sent him
away
because
you’re falling for him.
You’re scared.”

Tyler nodded.
“See? That’s exactly what I tried to tell her, and she wouldn’t listen.”

“You know she’s
stubborn,” Ronnie said.

“Yeah, but I
was hoping she might see reason just this once,” Tyler said.

“Yeah.
Whatever. You two don’t know what you’re talking about,” Marci said. “
She’s
doing just fine.”

“I know this,”
Ronnie said. “You don’t know when it’s gonna happen, but when it does, it hits
you like a ton of bricks and even someone like you can’t hide, it’s more or
less a lost cause to run, and it’s damned near impossible to fight it.”

She and Tyler
said it together as if they’d planned it: “You’re in love.”

“I hate you
both,” Marci said.

They laughed.

“Where the hell
is that server?” Marci looked all around the restaurant. “I’m ready to eat.”

#

Marci had a
one-track mind that day. She was on a mission. Her to-do list was a mile long,
and that was why she never saw him coming. That was why she never had one lick
of warning. So there was no way she could prepare herself for seeing Owen
Matthis for the first time since that day he’d driven her back to the hospital
in Jersey.

She heard two
people talking, and her stomach flipped at the familiarity of one of the
voices. Yes, she knew one of those voices a little too well. When she looked
up, she saw Owen and Dante across the hall of the student union, laughing and
talking about something. Owen wore faded jeans and a loose sweater and had his
bike helmet tucked under one arm. His fleece was nowhere to be seen despite the
fact that it was the end of January.

He was looking
as good as ever.
Of course.
So the past couple of
months hadn’t made him fall to pieces. Not that she wanted that. Okay, maybe a
little. But she was allowed a fantasy or two, right? It wasn’t like she had a
voodoo doll of him at home or anything. And why would she? She wasn’t
resentful, no, not really. She had what she wanted. She finally had her
freedom. Any leftover, residual, freak reaction she was having to him was
because she’d always had a thing for the unattainable.

She wasn’t
really aware that she’d been staring at him while all this was going through
her mind. Until she realized that she’d been caught. Owen looked
up—whether it was because he felt her eyes burning into the side of his
face or not she’d never know—and he was staring right back at her.

There was nothing
else for it. She couldn’t sneak out and pretend she hadn’t seen him now.
Instead, she raised a hand and waved a little too enthusiastically. Owen waved
back casually. Dante turned, saw who Owen was waving to, and turned back
without waving or otherwise acknowledging Marci. He said something to Owen, and
Owen nodded. Dante walked away as Marci was walking up to Owen.

“Hi,” Marci
said when she reached Owen.

He smiled his
trademark easy smile and said, “Hi.” And he didn’t look any worse for the wear.
No bags under his eyes like he’d missed some nights’ sleep. He wasn’t all
skinny like he couldn’t eat without her. No, he was still firm and broad and
fine.
Clean, unwrinkled clothes.
Backpack slung
casually over his shoulder. No, he didn’t look haphazard in the least. What she
didn’t understand at all was why that made her angry.

“How’ve you
been?” Marci asked.

“Great.
Pretty…pretty good,” Owen said. His voice sounded a little too upbeat, like he
was trying to cover up his true feelings, but she was probably hearing what she
wanted to hear.

“I’m glad I ran
into you, actually,” Marci lied. “I’ve been wanting to apologize for the way I left
things. You know, taking the train home. That was really a stupid and immature
way to handle things.” That second part was mostly the truth.

Owen watched
her for a second with impossible to read gray eyes. God, he was gorgeous.
Angular jaw. Face almost too pretty. She should have known better. Hell, she
did
know better, and she let him trick
her anyway.

“It’s cool,”
Owen said. He scratched the back of his neck, and when he smiled this time, it
didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“That was
really good of you, driving me up there after Thanksgiving. I just want you to
know that I appreciate what you did for me. Thanks again.”

He nodded. “So
what are you up to these days?”

“Not much.
School mainly. Oh, and helping Tyler pack.”

“Where’s he
going?”

“He got a part
in a television show.” Marci went on to tell Owen about the pilot and how the
show had gotten picked up for ten episodes and how Tyler was moving to
California soon.

“That’s great.
I bet you’ll miss him, though. You guys are pretty close, right?” Owen said.

“Yeah, but I’m
happy for him, so it’s bittersweet. I guess it just means more trips to
California.”

“Your parents
live out there, right?” Owen said. He kept glancing away from her.

“Yeah. Am I
keeping you from something?” He seemed to be in a hurry to get away from her.
If not that, then maybe he had somewhere to be. Something definitely had him on
edge.

He shook his
head but his eyes darted around the hallway once more as he did.

After an
awkward pause, she asked, “How’s your brother?”

“He’s doing
pretty good, I guess,” Owen said. “I haven’t talked to him much lately.”

“How’re your
classes coming along? Any tough papers to write?” She attempted a smile.

“Everything’s
good. I’ve been pretty busy lately.”

She didn’t want
to ask, but she had to. Not knowing was going to drive her nuts. “How’s…Brynn?
Are you guys still seeing each other?”

“Oh. No. I
broke things off with her.”

“Really?” What
the hell was that? Why did she have to sound so relieved about it? Well, in any
case, that relief was short-lived.

Because the
next thing Owen said was, “I got back together with Kristin, actually.”

Those words
slammed into Marci like a brick.
 
“Oh really? That’s great! Congratulations.” Marci forced enthusiasm into
her voice and onto her face. “But wasn’t she engaged?” And Marci was pretty
sure she’d made Owen miserable from the little bits and pieces he let drop
about her. But that didn’t seem appropriate to say. It’d just make her look
bitter and petty and jealous. And she wasn’t.

“Yeah. She
broke it off with him. Actually, we’re engaged now,” Owen said.

“Huh? Who?”
Marci was caught way off-guard by that one and was left incapable of further
response.

“Kristin and me.”
He grinned, and again it didn’t reach his eyes. “Just this past weekend
actually. We went up to the Poconos. I asked her then.”

“Why so fast?”
And why do you care, Marci girl? Get a hold
of yourself now.

Owen shrugged.
“It was going to happen eventually for us. And it just makes sense because
everything was already planned for Kristin and Justin. This way, nobody loses
deposits, and a whole planned wedding doesn’t go to waste.”

“Whole planned
wedding?” Marci’s mouth went dry. That must mean the wedding would be soon. “When’s
the big day?”

“September
twenty-third.”

Less than eight
months away. Well, that took the wind right out of her. She did the only thing
she could think of to save face. “Well, congratulations. Really.” She nodded.
That was the right thing to say. “I’m happy for you if this is what you really
want.”

Owen’s smile
faded. “What’s that supposed to mean? What I really want?”

“I’m just
wondering if this was your idea. Because it seems really convenient for Kristin
to just slip you into Justin’s spot. Just change grooms, and bam. Insta-wedding.
Minimal embarrassment—less embarrassment than calling
the whole thing off.
Probably anyway,” Marci said.

“No one’s
holding a gun to my head,” Owen said.

“Did you even
miss me at all?” Damn, where’d that come from? Owen looked as shocked as she
felt. “I mean, what I meant was…I should go.
Nice seeing you.
Congrats again,” Marci’s words tumbled over themselves in an embarrassed rush.
She started to walk away. Owen gently grabbed her arm. She stopped but didn’t
turn to face him.

“Marci, I
learned long ago that no matter how much you love someone, if there comes a
point where it does no good to hold on any longer, you just have to let go and
move on. It does you no good to sit around waiting for the impossible to
happen.”

“So you let go
of Kristin?” Marci still wouldn’t look at him. “And then you just welcomed her
right on back in.”

“Marci, I don’t
want to be mean. There’s no reason for things to be ugly between us. So I mean
this in the gentlest, most non-antagonistic way possible, but why do you care?”

“I don’t.” She
jerked her arm away from him. “Like I said, I’m happy for you. I’m sure it’ll
be a beautiful wedding. Fall weddings usually are.” She ought to know. She’d
certainly been to enough of Glenda King’s fall weddings.

Owen didn’t say
another word or try to stop her, and she wouldn’t have stopped anyway. He
would’ve had to chase her down to get her to do that. She also didn’t look back
because she didn’t want to see the look on his face. Whether it was sad,
reminiscent, angry, or just apathetic, she couldn’t handle it at the moment.

#

Owen walked
through the front door, tossed his keys on the table beside it, and rubbed his
hand over his eyes. What a day. He’d expected that he would see Marci again
seeing as how the campus was only so big. He’d imagined how it might go. But
imagining and actually living through it were two entirely different things. He
was still puzzling over the things she’d said—especially the last ones—when
Dante walked out of the kitchen with a Reuben sandwich on a plate. Dante
glanced at him a nodded a hello.

“Hey, man. I’ve
been meaning to ask you something.” Kristin had been harassing him to get his
best man and groomsmen sorted out so she knew how many slots would be left for
her friends, brother, and stepbrothers. Telling Marci about the engagement had
brought the wedding back to the front of his mind.

“Shoot.” Dante
took a huge bite of the sandwich.

“Would you be
my best man?”

Dante chewed
slowly and then swallowed before setting the plate down on one of the end
tables by the sofa. Then he said, “Nope.”

“What, really?
I thought we were cool again.”

“We are. But I
still want nothing to do with that joke of a marriage,” Dante said
matter-of-factly. “I can’t believe how you screwed Brynn over. It’s all right,
though. You didn’t deserve her anyway.”