Sorrow's Muse (6 page)

*
* * *

Colette watched as he
disappeared in the darkness. Her heart ached.
How could he do this? It was a
kiss!
A simple press of two sets of lips together and he’d turned tail.
Tears welled in her eyes as she ambled off toward the beach, away from the
staring crowd that chattered around her.

As the light of the
vendors faded, large, salty tears trailed down her cheeks. The instant
rejection hurt, not only her feelings but her soul. Until this moment, a part
of her believed the moment they kissed would open some magical connection and
pave the rocky road they’d been traveling down. She paused when the sidewalk
met the sandy area of the beach, slipped off her black heels and stepped onto
the soft grains.

When she reached the
shoreline, she sank down and peered up at the moon.
Where do I go from here?
Do I apologize, give him space? Or do I fight?

She wrapped her arms
around her legs and rested her head on her knees as the moonlight shone down on
the dark ocean. Wind whipped her hair around her as she took a moment to grieve
for the death of a longtime dream. Things were not what she thought they would
be here. She missed home, her family. Colette sniffed as misery threatened to
sink its hooks into her. A Muse with no joy or inspiration is a dangerous
thing. Muses needed humans just as much as humans needed them. The mutual
benefits were a check and balance of sorts.

Thoughts of sullen-faced
Aella and the madness that had taken her over danced on the fringes of her
mind. She was on a slippery slope.
I need to snap out of this.

She sat up and ran a hand
through her windblown locks.
I knew this wasn’t going to be a cakewalk. I’ve
been his rock for over thirty years. I can continue to be that now. The blood
of Zeus runs through my veins. I am not weak. Julian may be prickly on the
outside, but I know what lies beneath. That’s the prize I’m fighting for.

Colette stood. Coming
here had been an eye-opening and enriching experience. On Mount Helicon, they
were free from everyday worries, fed the best foods, surrounded by beauty and
treated like royalty. Yet, having lived on Earth, she now questioned if they
really
lived
.

Human life was messy,
heartbreaking, exciting and frustrating…so many different things rolled up into
a short amount of time. She wrapped her arms around her waist as she headed
back toward the people and the lights with her focus returned.
I refuse to give
up on you or what I know we can be, Julian Sorrow.

CHAPTER
EIGHT

S
he
never painted outside anymore. Julian glanced out the window on the side of his
house, hoping to catch a glimpse of Colette. They hadn’t spoken since the
incident a few weeks ago and he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her. It twisted
his gut and made him nauseous to think he’d chased her away from her art.
I
wanted her to keep her distance, not avoid me altogether.

He willed her to appear
as he stared at her front yard. When nothing happened, he snorted.
What did
you expect? Things never work out the way you want them to.
He turned away
from the window and walked back to sit at his desk. His creative streak had all
but lay down in the road and died since he and Colette parted ways, maybe due
to the guilt eating its way from the inside out.

She looked so devastated
and confused.
You could apologize. No.
“Great, now I’m having arguments
with myself.”

He balled up the paper
full of scratched-out lines and ran a hand through his hair. He was getting
nowhere fast with this. His eyes were pulled back to the window like magnets.
He blinked, squinted and looked again. There’s something odd about the view.
His mind made the connection.

Smoke billowed out of
Colette’s cracked window. He stood from the desk and ran for the door.

Julian bounded through
her unlocked door, once he reached her house. Stifling smoke and an acrid scent
of burning attacked him. His nose burned and his eyes watered. Fear made his
limbs stiff. Will was the only thing that made him move forward. Sweat dampened
his clothing as flashes of fire and pain flickered in his mind like a
black-and-white movie. His breath came in pants.

What are you doing! You run
out of fires, not into them!

He ignored the voice and
forged forward. He would not leave Colette in there. Had she succumbed to smoke
inhalation? “Colette!”

He coughed, covered his
nose and mouth with his arm and ran toward the kitchen, where the smoke seemed
to be the thickest. Heat seared his skin and his heart threatened to burst
through his chest.

When he cleared the
threshold, the smoke thinned to show a frantic Colette tossing flour on a
smoking cast-iron skillet and the burner beneath. His body shook as his
adrenaline hit a brick wall and he stared at the woman before him. She looked
fine. Relief ran through him and he walked over to pull the disheveled woman
covered in flour into his arms.

She glanced up and blew a
wayward clump of hair off her forehead. “Julian? What are you doing here?”

He’d just faced his worst
fear head-on for the woman in his arms. He buried his face in her neck, unable
to talk, as tears welled in his eyes and his throat swelled.

“Oh, my God, you’re
shaking. Are you okay?”

He shook his head,
tightening his hold as the memories of his past threatened to overwhelm him.

She stroked his hair and
hummed a tune that lulled him into a state of semi-peaceful calm. When he had
his head screwed back on straight, he pulled away to meet her probing gaze. “I
thought there was a fire here.”

Colette gasped and
covered her mouth. “And you ran in here after me?” she whispered.

He nodded, unable to
speak.

She leaned forward and
rested her forehead against his. “Thank you.” Her lips brushed his in a whisper
of a kiss. He wanted more.

 He brought his hand up
to cup the back of her head and pulled her back. He kissed her tentatively,
testing his welcome, a light press of his mouth to hers. She sighed, her eyes
fluttered and he relaxed. The gentle pressure of lips becoming acquainted
morphed into a passionate exchange. She traced his lips with her tongue,
growling when he opened to allow her entrance. God, she tastes like champagne!
Sweet and bubbly, she went to his head. Julian explored every inch of her
mouth.

Fright had given wings to
bravery.

Their tongues tangled and
her body molded into his. Like swimmers, they surfaced for air and went back
under. She moaned. The sound sent blood rushing to his already hardened cock.
Her soft touches moved over his textured skin, making him shiver. He enjoyed
it, though it made him uncomfortable. Was she disgusted? Insecurities
threatened to overtake him. He moved to pull away and she sighed. The dreamy
sound stopped him in his tracks.

“What are you doing to
me, Julian Sorrow?”

Don’t walk away this
time. She might not welcome you back.

“I’m surrendering to
whatever this is between us. I’m done running, Colette. I’m scared shitless,
but I’m here.” Julian peered down into her eyes. He knew this was the
opportunity he thought would never come. If he couldn’t make it work with her,
he would be lost.

“Then that’s where we’ll
start.” A smile flitted over her lips.

Julian felt like he was
on top of the world. He’d done that to her.

With the threat of
imminent danger gone, he took in her outfit. The strapless yellow sundress
bared her shoulders and her back. He ran his fingers down her face. “When I saw
the billowing gray tower of smoke pouring out of your window, I panicked. All I
could think about was you lying on the floor, incapacitated from smoke
inhalation. It scared me, Colette. You’ve come to mean a lot to me. I don’t
know what you see in me. I’m sarcastic, bitter, everything you’re not.”

“No.” She shook her head.
“You really aren’t. It’s just a facade you put on for everyone else.”

He chuckled. “We could
argue over this, but I’d rather get back to what we were doing a minute ago.”

She gave a giggle,
wrapped her arms around his waist and nibbled his ear.

He felt like a teenager
with his first girlfriend, an experience he’d never had.

She wrapped her arms
around his neck and their lips came together in a flurry of activity.

Yeah, this was worth the
wait.
They backed out of the kitchen, into the living room,
never parting and fell in a tangled heap onto the couch. His hand hovered above
her thigh and he glanced up to meet her gaze. She gave a nod of approval. He
skimmed his hand over her petal-soft skin.
God, she feels like warm silk
.
Colette moved to return to the favor and he shook his head. He wasn’t ready for
her to explore his body just yet, but he didn’t want to stop.

She opened her mouth to
protest.

He crashed his lips down
onto hers, effectively silencing her. He palmed her firm breasts, testing their
weight in his hands as he began a gentle massage.

The tips of her nipples
stiffened and strained against the material, begging to be manipulated. “Julian,
please!”

“Please what, Colette?”

“Touch my breasts.”

Her raspy voice made his
blood boil. He wasn’t a virgin or a complete stranger to the female form and
sexual satisfaction. But this was the first time emotions had been
involved—real emotions, not lust, admiration or a fleeting crush. He was
determined to take his time, savor every moment, hoard them to keep for when
Colette came to her senses. Pre-cum leaked from the tip of his mushroom-shaped
head and he knew it was time to pull back before he went further than he
intended to. “We should stop.”

“Why?” Colette peered up
at him through her long, sooty lashes. A wicked smile that promised passion
covered her lips. It seemed to be at odds with the rest of her. Her dark hair
looked tousled and her forehead, nose and cheeks were covered with light
dustings of flour. She looked adorable.

“Because we’re moving too
fast.”
And I don’t want to embarrass myself any more than I already have.

She exhaled, blowing
flyaway hairs away from her face and nodded. “You’re right.”

Julian rested his
forehead against hers and closed his eyes. The sound of their breathing was the
only thing that filled the room as they basked in their first moment as
something more than friends.

CHAPTER
NINE

“H
ow
are things with lover boy going?” Dite asked, peering at her over the rim of
her wineglass.

“Would you think I was
crazy if I said I didn’t know?” Colette asked.

“Why? It was a huge deal
getting him to admit his feelings. What happened?”

“How do you date a man
who doesn’t like to leave the house? That night was glorious. The feel of his
body pressed against mine, the taste of his lips,” she paused, pressing her
fingertips against her mouth. “I thought we’d move forward after that, but I
was wrong. The man hasn’t touched me since, other than chaste kisses on the
cheek and hand holding. I’m at a loss here.”

“Oh, honey, you should’ve
asked me long before now. There are plenty of things you can do at home to get
his motor running, not that it ever stopped. He’s just trying to play it cool
and be considerate. You know how he is. We called it ‘sensitive,’ but I think
this generation calls it ‘emo.’”

“How am I supposed to
tell the difference between respecting me and not being into me?”

Dite turned to face her
on the couch. “You have to continue to take the lead. Right now, he’s taking
his cues from you. I know this is hard with both of you being relationship
novices. But it’s kind of adorable to watch in an awkward first-love sort of
way. You’re like an eighties movie come to life.”

Colette blinked her eyes
while still looking lost.

Dite took her hand. “The
two of you really are perfect for each other. You just need to get on the same
page and open up the lines of communication. Most people think love is about
attraction, passion and sex.” She rolled her eyes. “Those things are a dime a
dozen, easily corrupted and twisted, often misused and manipulated for gain or
control. True love is the antithesis of all those things. It’s a unique
connection with one other being willing to accept you for who you are despite
all your faults, baggage and neurotic tendencies. It’s beautiful, messy, glorious
and so very rare. I’ve been around a long time and every time I witness two
soul mates meeting is a miracle.”

Colette had never seen
Dite so serious.

“I won’t let you fail
down here, Colette. The two of you need each other.”

“Dite, do you know
something I don’t?” she asked. The fierce delivery had set Colette on edge.

“I just want you to have
the chance I never did.” Dite’s eyes grew glossy and her voice broke.

“Oh, my God!” Colette
covered her mouth with her hands. She’d never heard Dite speak so candidly
about her own experiences in love. She’d always assumed it was because she’d
never really been in love with one person, that it was her nature to be
polyamorous. Now, it seemed she’d been very wrong. “What happened?”

“I was young, naive and
afraid to act on my emotions. He was a general. The rest of the details aren’t
important. Suffice to say, I never opened my mouth and I’ve regretted it every
day since.”

Tears welled in Dite’s
eyes and Colette pulled her in for a hug. “I don’t want you to have to live
with this kind of regret. You and Julian deserve to be happy. He’s been through
so much and you’ve always been by his side. Whether he realized it or not.”
Dite pulled away, wiped her tears and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I didn’t
mean to unload on you.”

“I think it was time you
told someone.”

“You’re right. I do feel
better for it. But this is about you.” Dite cleared her throat and pulled her
hair back from her face as she regained her composure. “Now, let’s go over a
few plans, so I can pull myself back together and you can win your man.”

Colette wanted to say
more, but now wasn’t the time. Dite went back to business with a strained smile
and determination in her eyes. What kind of man would be her equal? Her mini-meltdown
brought up more questions than it answered.

“Are you listening,
Colette?”

“Yes, we’re going over
things we can do at home.”

“Good girl.”

Fifteen minutes later,
they’d
outlined Operation Seduce Julian
. They’d keep things low-key with
the basics, like dinner and a movie at home, cooking a new recipe and her
personal favorite, chocolate fondue dessert night. Her body hummed at the
thought of getting her boyfriend alone in the dark with warm chocolate and
succulent fruit. From the moment their lips met, she’d craved more. Out of
respect, she’d held her appetite in check.

After talking to Dite,
though, all that would be history. Devilish delight made her giggle. She felt
like a kid who’d received the okay to go buck wild in a candy store. She’d
never been in love, but she was no stranger to sex. As a Muse, she enjoyed the
different passions life had to offer. The thought of experiencing making love
excited her more than any orgasm ever had.

“I don’t have to ask
where your mind’s gone,” Dite said.

“Every time I talk to
you, I’m enlightened. I’m looking forward to this new stage.”

“That’s what I want to
hear. How about we do some shopping? We have a fondue pot to buy and I must
say, I think a trip to Fredrick’s is in order,” Dite suggested.

“You’re wasting no time
with this new direction.”

“I want to see my little
Muse happy and you need an itsy nudge.” She placed her index finger and her
thumb about an inch apart.

Colette laughed. She was
right.

“When will you see him
next?”

“Tonight, actually. He’s
coming over to hang out in about two hours.”

“Let’s go. We’ll need to
work fast.”

*
* * *

Energy pulsed through her
veins as she prepared for Julian’s arrival. It was amazing what a pep talk and
some deep red lingerie could do for your confidence level. She arranged the
rectangular plastic popcorn holders, with old-fashioned red pin striping and
scalloped edges, on the coffee table, beside two boxes of Sour Patch Kids and
Zombie
land
and
Sweet Home Alabama
.

The doorbell rang and she
grinned.
Game on.
Colette opened the door and pulled Julian into a hug.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi.” She pulled away and
walked over to the couch. “I have everything set up. We just need to pop the
popcorn and grab drinks from the fridge.”

“This looks great. You
should’ve told me to bring something.”

“Nah, you can be in
charge next time.”

“Deal.”

The conversation
continued to flow as they took turns popping their bags in the microwave and
salting and seasoning the puffy yellow kernels they placed in a large bowl.
Grabbing two colas, they headed out to the living room. They were halfway
through
Sweet Home Alabama
when she slipped his arm around her shoulder.
She turned her head to inhale the delicious scent that wafted off him. The
warmth of his body heated her flesh and woke her desire. Colette leaned in and
nipped at his ear. Her nipples hardened against the rough lace of her bra. He
moaned, a deep, guttural sound that went straight to her core. The pressure
built and she sucked the fleshy bottom of his ear into her mouth.

“What are you doing?”

“Making out—less talking,
more kissing.” She blazed a trail of kisses down his neck, spanning his chest
with her hand as she admired his sleek build.

He turned his head and
captured her lips. Their tongues clashed.

A pleased purr rumbled in
her chest. Colette rose onto her knees and climbed into his lap, placing one
leg on either side of his body. His cock pushed up against her in greeting,
tempting her eager fingers. Her white skirt with a pastel flower scene flowed
around them. She placed her hands on his shoulders and rocked forward, then
backward, in a slow motion that pressed him against her engorged clit at just
the right angle. His cock twitched, elongated and swelled.
God, he’s thick!
She
needed more contact. “Touch me, Jay.” The nickname rolled off her tongue.

His breath caressed her
neck as he leaned in to place tiny kisses on her pulse point and massage her
lush mounds. “Like this?”

“Yes!” The feel of his
hands moving over her was exquisite. He explored her with slow, thorough
sweeps. His long, artistic fingers pinched her nipples, rolling them as he
continued to grind up into her.

“You’re so wet, Col. I
can feel you through my pants. You like what I’m doing to you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she whimpered.

He gripped her hips and
swiveled in a circle. “How about this?”

Moisture flooded her
panties, warm and sticky. Her breath came in pants as she edged closer and
closer to the edge.
So much for being the seducer.
He might be slow to
start, but when he did, he brought his A game. Her body trembled as he pushed
her closer to her peak. “I’m so close, Julian.”

“Let go, baby. Let me
give you this,” he whispered against her lips. He lined his length up with her
cleft, surged forward once, twice and she exploded.

Her eyes clenched shut.
She cried out and clutched her skirt as waves of pleasure washed over her.
Spent, she slumped against his shoulder as she came down from her high.
All
this from no skin-to-skin contact!

Instead of sating her
lust, it’d ramped it up higher. “I was supposed to be seducing you,” she
whispered, her face on his shoulder.

“You succeeded. Watching
you come apart in my arms, knowing I’m the cause, is satisfying to me.” He
placed a sweet kiss on her forehead.

In that sweet kiss, she
fell just a bit more in love with him. She wanted to move forward in their
relationship, bring him pleasure the same way he’d given to her so selflessly.
Colette ran her fingers over the soft material of his shirt and peered up into
his eyes. “I want to make you feel good too.”

“You don’t have to do
that—”

“Shh, I want to.” She
scooted off his legs and knelt in front of him on the couch. His eyes were wide
and his body shook as she unbuttoned the top of his pants and pulled the zipper
down millimeter by millimeter, giving him plenty of time to call a halt to her
progress. “I’ve dreamed about touching you, tasting you, for so long now it’s
become an obsession.” She peered up to make eye contact.

His muscles were tense.
His eyes were filled with worry and an expectation of disappointment that made
her almost sick to her stomach.
He is beautiful, damn it!
She wanted him
to realize it. “The man who didn’t know I was alive, the hints I dropped none
too covertly. It’s always been you, Julian.”

“Me—but why?”

She gave him a gentle
smile. “Because you ask questions like that, which make you even sexier than
you already are.” She freed him from his cloth prison and he sprang forth,
quivering with anticipation. He was thick, long and growing.

His skin looked
discolored and uneven here like the rest of his body, but she made a show of
being nonchalant. She bent down to lick the damp tip and he twitched, offering
up more liquid goodness. He tasted salty with a hint of pineapple that made her
core throb. He’d been thinking about this just as much as she had. “You taste
better than ambrosia.”

Colette teased him with
delicate flicks of her tongue as she learned his flavor and his hot spots. The
prominent vein that ran down the underside of his shaft made him jerk and hiss.
She returned to it often, following it like a road map as she gripped his base
and marveled at the ten inches she held in her hand. She sucked him deep into
her mouth and brought her hand up to meet her lips.

“Oh, God, Colette!”

She kept her throat
loose, desperate to take all of him, as she bobbed her head up and down, up and
down, finding a rhythm that made him bury his hands in her hair. He thrust into
her mouth, his hips swiveled and her heart sung. This was the first time he’d
ever taken the reins and it felt glorious.

Her core began to drip as
she picked up the pace. His eyes rolled back in his head, a hoarse, strangled
sound filled the air and he shot off in her mouth. Thick, salty nectar sprayed
the back of her throat and she swallowed every bit of him. Colette cleaned him
with her tongue, tucked him back in his pants and rested her head on his knee.

He stroked her hair.

“Thank you,” she
whispered, knowing how much it had cost him to open himself up.

“Isn’t that supposed to
be my line?” Julian peered down at her and winked.

An understanding passed
between them.

There was plenty she
wanted to say, but none of it would be worth risking losing the ground they’d
gained. Dite’s
“Less is more”
echoed in her head.

He began a light massage
on her scalp that relaxed her and the world around them faded to nothing.

*
* * *

Julian smiled down at the
sleeping form of his girlfriend.
Girlfriend.
It had a nice ring to it.
He’d had dates, casual hookups, embarrassing booty calls and groupie
encounters, never anything substantial. Though, it wasn’t for lack of wanting.
The fact this woman, who possessed beauty inside and out, wanted him…baffled
him. Half the time, he felt as though he was waiting for her to come to her
senses.