Stand By Your Hitman (12 page)

Lex and I dropped Moe and Kit off at their camp. (Kit blew him a kiss. Bitch.) We were just out of their line of vision when he pulled me off the beach and into the jungle.

“I am so sorry about that,” he began.

“You didn’t look like you were having fun,” I offered.

“No. Not with her.”

“Do you have fun with me?” I pouted a little.

“Most definitely.” Lex pulled me against him and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed back.

“Whoa!” He jerked backwards, rubbing his head.

I squinted into the trees and spotted a flash of red. At our feet was a small mango.

“You know what?” I said, “I think I have to go to the bathroom. You go on ahead to camp and I’ll catch up. Okay?” I really didn’t want him to go, but apparently two twin monkeys did.

“Are you sure?” He rubbed his head. “It seems kind of dangerous out here.”

I grinned. “Oh, it’s just a capuchin monkey. Nothing
I can’t handle. Besides, you need to see what the buzz at camp is for who we’re voting off tonight.” I waved him away. “Go on! I’ll be there in a few.”

Lex looked doubtfully up at the trees, then at me. After a few seconds, he left.

“Boys!” I whispered loudly, “I know you’re there!”

Jack jumped down, followed by Monty. They both stayed out of reach.

“Hey, Mom!” they said simultaneously.

“Stop hitting Lex! If it was a coconut it could have killed him!” It’s true. Did you know that a little, two-pound coconut falling from a high tree can have a landing weight of one ton?

“Okay. Fine,” Jack said, pouting.

I changed the subject. “Did you find anything out about Vic?” It was hard to be mad at them for too long.

Monty shook his head. “I’m going to try some aliases. There’s a strong chance his name was once Bruce Wayne—which is totally Batman cool. I’ve also found some mentions of him in Interpol files, but a lot of the wording is blacked out.”

“And we still don’t know anything about the sabotage,” Jack piped up. “But it’s a real threat. Alan and Julie have been talking to the police.”

“What? Why? What’s happened?” I felt like I was completely out of the picture.

The twins grinned and I thought for just a moment how I’d like to know where they got their information. This was fleeting, and rational thought took over—aka, I didn’t want to know.

“Someone took out an ad in the local paper claiming they burned down your shelter,” Jack answered.

“And there have been a couple of death threats,” added Monty.

“Rumor has it that the show might be completely shut down. I guess the head honchos at the network are considering it,” Jack said.

That could be good news. I could get off this low-budget
mess. Lex and I could get to know each other, shack up
for a while
…

“Is the Council asking questions?”

The boys looked at each other, communicating silently with that twin telepathy of theirs.

“No.” I think they both answered.

“Mom…,” Jack began.

“We’re worried about you,” Monty finished.

Jack nodded. “We don’t want you to get hurt.”

I waved them off. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I don’t really care about the saboteur. But I do need to figure out what to do about Isaa…I mean Vic.” The Council has zero tolerance for failure, meaning I could get taken out if I failed to do the job.

“We’re on it!” Jack shouted as they ran off to who-knows-where.

Back at camp, Sami was waiting for me. No one else was there.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Isaac and Lex took Silas on a banana hunt so I could fill you in. Fuck Silas. He’s out.”

“All right.” It’s what I’d suspected anyway. But why did I feel so sad?

“Man,” she continued, “I heard about that bitch Kit climbing all over Lex on the boat. What the hell?”

I shook my head. “Well, I made a deal with Moe. He’ll try to get her voted off and we’ll add him to our alliance.”

“Fuckin’ A!” Sami laughed, and started smothering the fire.

I helped her. I was feeling a little stupid for being so petty about Kit. Anger flashed and I remembered how blatant she’d been. Okay. I didn’t feel too bad.

The men returned, and we sat around talking about the challenge.

“I’m really impressed with what you’ve done here, Missi,” Isaac grinned. Damn. He was trying so hard to become my friend and I was trying to hate him.

“Thanks, Isaac. Just doing my part.”

“Yeah, well, I just wanted you to know you are appreciated.” Isaac gave me a thumbs up and walked away.

“You know,” Lex said, “for someone who wanted him as an ally, you sure act like you’d rather not be on Isaac’s team.”

“Really? I didn’t realize I was giving that impression.”

“Did he do something to make you angry?” Lex asked as he rubbed my thigh. I tried to remain focused.

“No. He’s been fine.”

“So why the cold shoulder?”

“Honestly, I didn’t think I was acting that way!” Okay, so I was a tad defensive. Mostly because I’d been busted. And I hated getting busted.

Lex waved me off. “Okay, okay. Just cut the guy some slack. He’s a good man, and we need him.”

I watched as he got up and walked away. This was ridiculous. I should have been getting a medal from the Bombays for having to be in this situation.

Lex was right. I had been distant toward Isaac. But only because I might have to kill him later. I couldn’t tell Lex that, but it made sense, right?

We picked up our torches for Tribal Council. Jimmy showed up alone to film us before Julie arrived. Most members of the camera crew pretty much had given up on the whole show and were just making appearances.

Everyone was quiet as we walked through the jungle. Maybe it was because Julie hadn’t ordered us to be silent. Maybe we were all feeling a little down about voting Silas off. Add that to the feelings of elation I experienced whenever I saw Lex, and you have quite a soup. I like soup. Mom used to make this stewed monkey–guava soup that was fantastic.

“Welcome to Tribal Council!” Alan stood in the middle of a basketball court. There were bleachers on both sides. Inuit sat on his left and we were seated to his right. Other shows, like
Survivor
, built really cool sets. These guys just phoned it in. I noticed that Jimmy had left, and Inuit’s crew was filming this time.

“There’s a new twist tonight,” our host said. We all
groaned. What were we going to have to do this time? Square dance each other off?

“Instead of voting off someone from your own tribe,” he informed us, “you’ll be voting off someone from the other tribe.”

What? We all looked at each other. What the hell were we going to do now? Granted, I could probably whisper to get everyone to vote off Kit. But we certainly couldn’t control the other team. And what if I got voted off before figuring out this whole Isaac thing?

“Ottawa,” Alan said, “Missi has been the clear leader in all challenges.” The smug bastard looked right at me. “Missi, do you think this makes you a target?”

Shit. “Um, I don’t know, Alan. The knitting thing was pretty lame. It was just luck that I knew what to do.”

“Kit!” Alan turned dramatically to Inuit. “Tell me why you chose Lex and Moe to join you for the reward.”

For once, Kit didn’t look like she was even remotely about to cry.

“Well, Alan,” she said in a singsongy voice, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Lex and I have a little romance going on.” She wiggled her fingers at MY MAN!

Lex covered his face with his hands.

Alan turned back to us. “Is that true Lex? You and Kit make a cute couple.”

I could feel Sami’s arm on mine, as if she were trying
to stop me from jumping up and ripping Kit’s throat out—which I am trained to do, by the way.

“No. I think Kit is a nice girl. But that’s about it,” Lex said quietly.

“So, Missi!” Alan faced me again. “Your head may be on the chopping block tonight. How do you feel about it?”

Me again? Man, this guy really hates me.

“I don’t know what to say to that, Alan.” And I didn’t. I was getting so sick of this stupid show. The good news was meeting Lex. The bad news was that the Vic was now one of my friends and I hated the host and his malignant assistant. What’s a girl to do?

“Ottawa! You vote first.” Alan pointed to a clay pot on a Blanco Tigre lectern in the corner of the court. Sami got up and went over to vote.

“Kit!” I whispered loudly. “Kit’s got to go!”

Sami came back and I got up, walking slowly to the podium. I wrote Kit’s name in huge, black letters, folded the paper and put it in the pot.

“I’ll tally the votes.” Alan retrieved the pot once we were all through.

“The first vote is for Kit.”

Kit chewed her lip but managed not to cry. Maybe she was getting used to the idea of being the first rejected.

“The second vote is for…Kit.”

We got a trembly lip from the model.

“The third vote is for Moe. Two votes for Kit.”

The bimbo sighed a little. One more vote and that would be it. Come ooooooooooooon!

“The third person voted off of
Survival
is Kit.”

Kit burst into tears and ran the length of the court, flinging herself into Lex’s arms.

“Thank you for not voting for me, Lex!”

“Kit! You have to leave the Tribal Council area immediately!” Alan shouted.

I watched in horror as she kissed Lex on the lips and ran off. Lex looked at me and shrugged.

Kit was led away, obnoxiously blowing kisses at Lex.

“Inuit! It is your turn to vote!” Alan commanded with a squeak.

We watched as the remaining four members of Inuit voted someone from our team off. It really was a crapshoot at this point. I only really knew Moe, so there was no way of knowing how anyone else would vote.

“I’ll collect the votes.” Alan was basically just speaking for his own sake. We were all pretty much ignoring him.

“The first vote is for”—he cast me an oily grin—“Missi. The first vote is for Missi!” Did he have to be so happy about it?

I looked across at the other team. Moe gave me the thumbs up. What did that mean?

“The second vote is for…” Alan frowned. “Silas. One vote for Missi, one vote for Silas.”

I couldn’t relax. It wasn’t over yet.

“The third vote is for Silas. One vote Missi, two votes for Silas.”

This could go either way, really. Lex reached for my hand. At least he didn’t want me to go.

“And the fourth and final vote is for…Isaac. Silas, you are the fourth person voted off of
Survival
.”

Silas nodded to us, then went up to Alan to have his torch snuffed out. He actually looked happy to be going. I let out a loud breath. It was over. Damn.

“You are the remaining eight,” Alan said. “Tomorrow, your tribes will merge. For now, go back to camp and enjoy your evening.” Alan and Julie fled toward the resort and I saw that all the cameramen were now gone.

Ottawa and Inuit just looked at each other.

“Let’s just go to the guesthouse,” Isaac said. The others nodded and we made our way toward our own refuge.

A hot shower, a good dinner, two bottles of ice-cold beer and one fluffy robe later I was feeling better. Kit and Silas didn’t show up, so I guessed they were pleased with their own accommodations. No one really said much. We were tired and sick of this whole mess. In fact, everyone pretty much headed off to bed early. Sami didn’t call me dumbass when she said good night. Not even once.

I stepped out onto the veranda, trying to find some alone time to figure a few things out. The information the boys had given me wasn’t anything concrete. A few mentions in an Interpol file was not enough to condemn the man to death. As for the sabotage, the fact they were worried about me wasn’t new. They were convinced, however, that they were bulletproof. I remembered thinking that at their age. Of course, I knew better now. The death threats and sabotage were a little frightening—but really nothing
compared to the punishment I’d get if I didn’t take care of my Vic.

The fact I’d received a vote made this whole thing real. The Council might let me off the hook somewhat if there were extenuating circumstances. But what those circumstances were was completely beyond me.

Still, I’d made it to the final eight. Vic was still within my clutches. And Lex and I were having sex. Not bad if you look at it that way.

“I thought I’d find you out here.” Lex came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

I pulled away. There was too much on my mind.

“Tomorrow’s the merge. I think the game will wrap up soon.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Ernie said there were major budget problems.”

Lex lifted my chin. “Are you worried about being voted out?”

I didn’t speak for a moment. Finally, I asked a question that had been bothering me since the beginning. “Why are you really here? Why agree to be on this show?” There, I’d said it.

He smiled. “Probably the same reason you’re on it.”

Damn. I couldn’t tell him that my reason was because I come from a long line of assassins and my job was to kill Isaac. That might hurt the alliance. But I had to come up with something if I was going to get any info in return. “You know how family can be.” Okay. Not a lie. Well, not completely a lie.

“Really? Why did you go through with it?” Lex asked.

“I don’t know. I guess I’d been in a rut for a long time. Maybe I thought it would be an adventure.” Again—not a lie.

Lex sighed and leaned on the railing. “Well, I guess it’s the same for me. My family thought I needed to do something with my life other than being a bartender in a small town. I did this thinking I’d never get picked and they’d leave me alone.”

“Backfired, eh?”

“Not really. I found you. I’d say that’s better than twenty-five grand.”

Once again, it surprised me that we hadn’t had this conversation before. Something about being around Lex always translated to sex first, get-to-know-me later. Why was that? This wasn’t how relationships usually started out. Then again, most relationships didn’t happen on the set of a lame reality show in Costa Rica, either.

I thought about what he’d said about the twenty-five thousand dollars. It had never crossed my mind that maybe he needed the money. He couldn’t have been making much as a bartender. It was something I was completely unfamiliar with. I grew up wealthy, never worrying about money. Maybe this competition meant more to him than I thought.

“How did you go from being a stuntman to a bartender?”

Lex sobered. “Actually, I was a stunt
master
out in LA. So was my wife. That’s where we met.”

So, Fiona had been a kick-ass stuntwoman? I liked her already.

“What happened to her?”

“There was an accident during a stunt. I was in charge—had choreographed it and everything. It was my job to make sure she was safe. But due to a technical malfunction, she died. It was my fault. So, I moved back home.” His voice snagged a bit on the last few words.

I felt awful for asking. My arms went around him and we just stood there, holding each other.

“You know, that’s why I’m so attracted to you,” Lex said quietly.

I pulled back. “Why?” Surely he didn’t know about the stunts I’d pulled for jobs. And let me tell you, there was no stuntmaster planning for my safety.

He smiled. I liked the way his eyes wrinkled in the corners. “You take risks. You try things others wouldn’t. And you have a lot of compassion.” Lex waved his arm around him. “You did this for the Inuit team because they were suffering. You saved Kit’s life on the zip line and made sure they got across safely before going for the easy win. You remind me of Fiona. And you are more like me than she even was.”

“Oh.” Wow. I didn’t know what to say to that. It was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. And I was pretty sure I didn’t deserve it.

“I’d better get to bed.” I kissed him and turned away. “And Lex?” He looked up attentively. “Thank you.”

As I lay there in the darkness, listening to Sami’s
snoring, I felt like crap. Lex had this glorified view of who I was. His job was about taking care of people, and he thought I was all about that too. Thing was, he’d change his mind about me in a minute if he saw my workshop on Santa Muerta or knew anything about who I really was.

To him, I was just Missi, a widowed mother who might be the answer to his prayers. If only I were that woman. But I couldn’t pretend I was. I was a hit-man—an assassin—and a damned good one. I invented ways to kill people, and based on their level of evil, I could really make them suffer if I wanted to.

And yet, I was the woman who’d worried that the rival team wasn’t getting enough to eat and plunked down her own money to help them out. It’s funny. Lex thought he had me all figured out. Hell.
I
didn’t have me all figured out.

In fact, if it weren’t for this idiotic show, I’d have been blissfully unaware back on Santa Muerta making toys from the eighties explode with enough force to kill a man. Wow. I hadn’t thought of my workshop since I arrived here. In fact, I hadn’t thought much about my work.

I was here for one reason only—to do a job for the Council. I was a Bombay and I had a Vic. Nothing else should have mattered.

Right?

I couldn’t sleep that night. Finally, at about five
A.M
., I quit pretending and took a cup of coffee out onto the patio.

“What’s up, Moe?” He was lounging on the deck in a robe when I stumbled upon him.

“Hey, Missi!” I liked how his face brightened when he saw me. It’s always nice to feel like someone’s happy to see you, and he’d earned big points by helping me out with the Kit fiasco.

I pulled up a chaise lounge and my coffee mug. It was too early for sunrise. I’d ordered breakfast but it wouldn’t arrive for half an hour.

“So what’s got you up so early?” I asked.

Moe shook his head. “I couldn’t sleep.”

I snorted. “That’s funny. Most of us can’t seem to get enough sleep around here.” I usually chalked that up to boredom.

“Nah. I never was that lazy,” Moe responded. I hid my smile. “Actually, being here has given me some ideas for when I get back.”

“Really? Then you’re the first one who’s been able to turn this charade into something positive.” Did that come out wrong?

“I’ve just been thinking. Sometimes getting away from home shakes you up. I needed that.” He shifted in his seat.

Huh. I wondered if the same thing had happened to me since I’d been there. Well, I had a kind of boyfriend in Lex. And I’d call Sami and Moe friends. Being away from my monastic existence on Santa Muerta probably had been somewhat good for me. All the same, I still wanted to get my job done and move on.

We sat there quietly until there was a knock on the
door. Sami looked at us with some amusement when we came back into the guesthouse. The laundry was delivered with the food and I slipped off to the bedroom to change before joining everyone.

Moe’s words made me think. I was getting some benefit from being here. But what did that matter in the grand scheme of things? If I had to take out Isaac, not much.