Read Survival of the Ginnest Online
Authors: Aimee Horton
Tags: #family, #social networking, #humour, #parenting, #motherhood, #gin, #motherhood humor, #gin and tonic, #parenting and families, #motherhood humor kids, #motherhood book, #motherhood fun, #motherhood humour
Survival of the Ginnest (15 page)
Harris
and The Chubster are snuggled in
bed with milk/tea watching
Peppa
Pig.
<3
June
11, 2011 at 6:29
5 people like
this
Harris
is hoping not to be greeted at
6.30am with the cry of “Mmmuuuuummmmmayyy, I need a poooooh!"
(again).
June
14, 2011 at 21:18
5 people like
this
Harris
- Oh good. The Chubster has learnt
that if she screeches 3 times in a row the light show projector
goes on. That's going in the bin then.
June
18, 2011 at 6:42
7 people like
this
Harris
has opened the bar late. As The
Monster would say, she's “not 'appy”.
June
18, 2011 at 19:47
2 people like
this
Harris
thinks you know it’s love when
you’re lying next to your daughter and she throws up in your
face.
June 21, 2011 at
2:43
11 people like
this
Harris
is worried that there are only 2
bottles of
Rosé
in the garage.
June
23, 2011 at 20:04
1 person likes
this
Harris
is browsing a sports shop - and
enjoying it.
June
25, 2011 at 9:14
5 people like
this
Harris
thinks The Chubster is a traitor
saying DADA first. It's a stab in the heart.
June
28, 2011 at 19:03
6 people like
this
Harris
is going on a
Bear Hunt
. Again.
June
30, 2011 at 18:41
3 people like
this
Harris
is laughing that today, when The
Monster "sprinkled" on his shorts while weeing on the grass, he
insisted on hanging them on the line as they were "a bit wet now
and need to dry off"
July 4,
2011 at 19:04
12 people like
this
Harris
thinks cake would be
perfection.
July 5,
2011 at 12:41
5 people like
this
Harris
thinks it must be nearly wine
o'clock by now?
July 8,
2011 at 7:34
4 people like
this
Harris
wonders why her children insist on
team building and working together to prevent her from
sleeping.
July 9,
2011 at 6:35
7 people like
this
Harris
has a feeling The Monster will be
falling asleep on the landing again tonight.
July
10, 2011 at 18:28
3 people like
this
Harris
is thinking about calling the hall
"The Monster’s room" since he spends so much time in it. Note to
self: Keep nappies and wipes in kitchen so not to be trapped by
naughty toddler with stinky baby.
July
11, 2011 at 7:43
5 people like
this
Harris
is regretting getting the paints
out.
July
11, 2011 at 9:57
3 people like
this
Harris
would like to apologise to everyone
in a 3 mile radius for the noise. She wasn’t killing her son, just
asking him to get dressed.
July
11, 2011 at 8:01
4 people like
this
Harris
is very happy now that her bumper
pack of Diet Coke has arrived.
July
13, 2011 at 14:43
4 people like
this
Harris
thinks everything is forgiven when
you hear "muma" for the first time, even if it is at
4.23am.
July
15, 2011 at 6:51
27 people like
this
Harris
has sent her husband out to buy an
emergency bottle of gin and some limes.
July
15, 2011 at 18:32
2 people like
this
Harris
is bored of the word “muma”
now.
July
17, 2011 at 6:59
2 people like
this
Harris
is a calm, serene mummy. Nothing
can phase, upset or bother her.
Except her
children.
17, 2011 at 16:55
9 people like
this
Harris
is officially self-employed. What
have I done?!
July
22, 2011 at 19:22
7 people like
this
Harris
is suffering from DWT syndrome and
needs a gin. (DWT=DAY WITH TODDLER)
July
25, 2011 at 18:52
1 person likes
this
Harris
is on mission
Toy Story
Birthday Party. She's also
a little bit scared about the cake she's decided to
create.
July
24, 2011 at 19:19
3 people like
this
Harris
has found a new tooth in The
Chubsters mouth. That explains a lot!
July
26, 2011 at 7:09
4 people like
this
Harris
has decided to swap the horrible
nasty toddler for a nice quiet one when she picks The Chubster up
from nursery tonight.
July
27, 2011 at 7:09
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
needs to remember that Turmeric stains.
July 27, 2011 at
16:05
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
wishes that her children would shush just a little
bit pre-coffee.
July 30, 2011 at
7:31
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is battered, bruised, beaten and has a torn top after
the mother of toddler tantrums.
July 30, 2011 at
16:52
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just been told by an almost 3 year old he wants
salad for lunch. He's still having chips.
August 1, 2011 at
10:31
8 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is excited. She is also celebrating with a cup of tea
SITTING DOWN because both children aren't here!
August 2, 2011 at
7:46
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is wondering if 2 Activias cancel out
cake?
August 2, 2011 at
14:42
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just caught The Chubster painting her teeth with
lipstick.
August 3, 2011 at
7:03
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is needing all her creative vibes to ensure she
decorates a birthday cake fit for a party that nursery mums will be
attending.
August 4, 2011 at
7:10
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks that all cakes and their decorating
paraphernalia can just sod off. (Not that she’s having a
strop.)
August 4, 2011 at
12:59
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
can't believe it but she's managed to not break The
Monster for 3 WHOLE YEARS! x
August 7, 2011 at
6:32
23 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
still can't believe she had a twenty minute
conversation with The Monster about MOTHS at 3am.
8, 2011 at 9:03
5 people like
this
Harris
is wondering what part of her
thought it would be a good idea not to drink alcohol on week
nights, you know, when she's had both the kids at home to
herself.
August
8, 2011 at 18:10
1 person likes
this
Harris
is feeling rather sad for Elmo and
Postman Pat (in a
Toy
Story
-esque way) as they have been
unceremoniously dumped for Buzz and Woody.
August
9, 2011 at 17:52
4 people like
this
Harris
- Dear Chubs - I'm sorry your teeth
hurt, but Mummy is super sleepy so if you could suffer in silence
I'd really appreciate it. Thanks x
August
9, 2011 at 20:56
14 people like
this
Harris
is
procrastinating.
August
10, 2011 at 15:52
2 people like
this
Harris
is sending her children to nursery
and going back to bed. Well, if they will wake up ALL BLOODY NIGHT
what do you expect?!
August
11, 2011 at 7:19
2 people like
this
Harris
is wondering exactly how many times
it will take before her husband understands the following laundry
concepts:
- light
- dark
- hand wash
only
- do not tumble
dry
- ironing vs non-ironing
pile
14, 2011 at 18:39
10 people like
this
Harris
has put her first headache to bed.
One more to go then time to crack open the gin.
August
15, 2011 at 17:49
2 people like
this
Harris
is trying to relax with a cup of
tea but keeps finding toys behind the cushions.
August
18, 2011 at 8:09
2 people like
this
Harris
is thinking that as the box says
"mini" and “Weight Watchers" the cake she's having with her cup of
tea is the same as having an apple.
August
23, 2011 at 12:46
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is still laughing at The Chubster who ran over The
Monster’s toes in the baby walker and stole his biscuit!
August 24, 2011 at
17:49
15 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is using CBeebies and Nutella on toast to babysit
again.
August 26, 2011 at
8:32
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks that the NEXT delivery guy is lucky he was
bringing a present for her at 7am with his perky jolliness,
otherwise she'd have scratched his eyes right out!
August 27, 2011 at
7:03
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
loves her children today. (Sleep happened ALL
night)
September 3, 2011 at
7:53
14 people like
this
