Read Survival of the Ginnest Online

Authors: Aimee Horton

Tags: #family, #social networking, #humour, #parenting, #motherhood, #gin, #motherhood humor, #gin and tonic, #parenting and families, #motherhood humor kids, #motherhood book, #motherhood fun, #motherhood humour

Survival of the Ginnest (4 page)

BOOK: Survival of the Ginnest
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February 7, 2009 at 18:32

4 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
- pondering whether to have gin or
wine. Or both?
February 9, 2009 at 18:56

7 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is happy to notice a bit back flab
on Rihanna in her latest video.

February 10, 2009 at
17:02

3 people like
this

Dottie
Harris
is wondering why she's bothering to
drink caffeine-free Diet Coke. What’s the point?
February 11, 2009 at 14:57

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is totally intending to marry Phil
from Phil and Kirstie.
February 11, 2009 at 21:03

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
had forgotten what a kitchen
goddess she actually is!
February 14, 2009 at 19:34

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is grumpily picking pine needles
out of the lounge carpet (STILL)
February 15, 2009 at 19:02

4 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
cannot believe the boy slept
through but she didn't!

February 18, 2009 at
8:43

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is wistfully thinking how amazing
it would have been to be Jennifer Grey in
Dirty Dancing
.
February 20, 2009 at 20:11

8 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is feeling fat from her homemade chicken jalfrezi and
is now drinking wine and considering ice cream. Oh yes.

February 21, 2009 at
21:31

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is not loving today’s wake up time courtesy of The
Monster.

February 22, 2009 at
5:31

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is thinking that gin & tonic practically counts
as water - well it's clear isn't it?!

February 23, 2009 at
19:32

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is drowning in wine.

February 28, 2009 at
19:53

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is wondering where she can buy a Calpol drip from -
hang the expense!

March 2, 2009 at
8:49

7 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks teaching the boy to crawl after a can of Diet
Coke could backfire if it works!

March 2, 2009 at
17:04

4 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
was going to leave mopping the floor until tomorrow,
then she noticed a small child licking it.

March 3, 2009 at
14:45

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has chocolate eater’s remorse.

March 4, 2009 at
14:55

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is not broody! Nope. Not at all.

March 5, 2009 at
22:08

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is wondering why you always think that “one last gin”
when you get home is a good idea?

March 6, 2009 at
8:48

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is not happy that she's getting close to her
birthday.

March 7, 2009 at
20:01

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is one year older. Yay.

March 11, 2009 at
20:01

23 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is a bit chilly, but loving the fact everything in
the garden is starting to bud up!

March 19, 2009 at
15:26

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
was going to have a bath and a glass of wine later,
but the new NEXT catalogue is now here so that takes
priority.

March 19, 2009 at
17:22

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks her son is very clever for making her
breakfast in bed this morning!

March 22, 2009 at
19:08

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is trying to explain to her son that 6am is not the
new black.

March 24, 2009 at
7:55

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is thinking her fake tan may not have gone exactly to
plan.

March 24, 2009 at
20:20

4 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is ready for the gym. Size 0 here she
comes!

March 29, 2009 at
8:44

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks she’ll pass on the gym today.

March 30, 2009 at
9:50

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is a changed person - there is rice cake ground into
the carpet and she almost doesn’t care. ALMOST.

March 31, 2009 at
13:53

8 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is happy in the sunshine, front path weeded, windows
open, now to fix the front door seal that the boy managed to pull
out!

April 1, 2009 at
9:36

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
ran to the gym, worked out, ran back, and is now
deciding which rock to die under.

April 4, 2009 at
9:51

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks her legs might fall off.

April 4, 2009 at
19:11

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks she may love her new Dustbuster more than
diamonds.

April 5, 2009 at
17:32

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
cannot believe there is no wine in the house at all.
Oh well - gin it is!

April 11, 2009 at
17:55

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has been pretending to be the Flake girl. But with a
Creme Egg. And not flooding the bathroom. After all, that would be
a mess to clear up.

April 12, 2009 at
19:26

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
feels she may be a rather horrid person for putting
cat food on the sprinkler then turning it on.

April 14, 2009 at
10:03

8 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has done a very Monica-esque thing and hoovered her
Dustbuster and Dustbusted her hoover.

April 14, 2009 at
14:50

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is loving the fact that her baby says “Mama" and then
gives her a kiss and doesn't believe it's just a coincidence AT
ALL. Ok?

April 29, 2009 at
17:15

6 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is thinking the Special K diet isn't going well.
She's not had any this week.

May 1, 2009 at
18:12

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks her son hunts out danger.

May 2, 2009 at
17:18

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is concerned - she may have to wash up the pots in
her dishwasher if the third time she sets it going it doesn't
work!!

May 3, 2009 at
7:59

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is not thinking about the smiley faces in the
freezer.

May 5, 2009 at
9:51

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
doesn't need to worry about the smiley faces in the
freezer as they are no longer there.

May 5, 2009 at
18:49

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is waiting to see what The Monster thinks is more
dangerous: the door stop or the stairgate?!

May 6, 2009 at
10:53

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is wishing she'd not put her skinny jeans in the
tumble dryer.

May 7, 2009 at
8:09

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is wondering if there will ever be a day again where
her washing machine isn't going?!

May 7, 2009 at
14:01

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is slightly more excited than she should be about
using her new plates tonight.

May 12, 2009 at
18:26

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
appears to be struggling more with the baby-proofed
cupboards than The Monster does.

May 16, 2009 at
18:19

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has just had a mass bikini trying on session and is
pleased to say she may be allowed to eat before she goes
away!

May 17, 2009 at
19:06

4 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has jam in her hair, and small child sick on her Smeg
fridge :( It's a glam life.

May 20, 2009 at
16:03

7 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
wants to know how her son knows how to change the
brightness on the TV but she doesn’t.

May 20, 2009 at
16:13

9 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is looking forward to picking up The Monster’s new
car seat after he escaped from his current one on the way home from
town yesterday.

May 23, 2009 at
6:35

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is going to make Sangria.

May 23, 2009 at
11:31

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks she may have drunk the entire world’s supply
of alcohol last night.

May 24, 2009 at
6:29

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
wonders why she was stupid enough to think that
emptying the cupboards of naughty things would stop her from being
hungry, instead she is STARVING to DEATH.

May 26, 2009 at
13:58

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
can't do it! She just can't pack light!

May 27, 2009 at
11:47

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is baffled. Why do
The Apprentice
contestants ALWAYS leave their ironing until they only have
half an hour before the cars get there?!
May 27,
2009 at 20:23

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks that 15kg of luggage per
person is ridiculous.
May 29,
2009 at 9:49

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is switching off from reality …
now!
May 30,
2009 at 4:55

9 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is back in the blinkin'
UK.
BOOK: Survival of the Ginnest
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ads

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