Sweet Affection (Truth Book 3) (33 page)

“That’s a fucking joke!” He spits out and continues to back out the door. He glances at the bed, at my arm, then holds my eyes with his.

“I’m sorry Laurel.” The sincerity in his words catches my breath in my throat, and my heart breaks for him. It snaps straight down the middle, as tears trail down my cheeks.

“Don’t cry for me. I’m not worth your tears,
abuela
. I’m so sorry.” He whispers, and my feet are rooted to the floor as he disappears round the corner of the doorframe. His heavy feet barrel down the stairs, but it isn’t until the front door slams shut that it jolts me into action.

He’s going outside.

There’s nothing out there apart from his bike.

Shit
, he’s going to drive after he’s been drinking. I could smell it on him when he stopped me outside the store. That coupled with his fragile state of mind, is not a good mix at all. Where does he think he’s going to go anyway? All of his stuff’s still here. Unless he won’t need it where he’s planning on going.

Oh my God, I can’t let him do that.

I fly down the stairs, feet pounding the carpet, not caring that I’m about to go outside wearing next to nothing.

The cool air wakes me up quickly and I start yelling when I hear the roar of the engine. It rumbles to life and when I look over I see immediately he hasn’t got his helmet on.

“Tyler,” I scream out, trying to stop him from pulling away. He doesn’t turn around so I carry on running, as fast as my bare feet will let me down the gravel of the front steps.

“Tyler!” I scream again, words shaking and screeching like I’ve never had to before. I try to summon all the strength I can manage but the tears are back and falling with much more purpose than before.

I can’t let him do this.

I run back into the house, grab the keys off the hallway table, then jump in my car. He’s only seconds in front of me. He’s just pulled away and I reverse out James’ driveway as fast as I can and accelerate like a mad woman. Maybe he just needs some time to cool off, but not like this. It’s far too dangerous.

I drive on automatic while all my attention is focused on the bike just in front of me. So far, he’s in complete control. He’s going way too fast, but it’s controlled. I stop breathing as he edges near a roundabout, and I glance to the right seeing headlights glowing in the dark. He accelerates and my breath is still held as he narrowly misses the car, which beeps its horn like crazy. I have to pause and wait for the car to pass before starting up again and turning round the roundabout.

I have no idea where he’s going, the directions don’t make any sense to me. It looks like he might just be coming round full circle towards the house again.

I blow out the breath I was holding, and settle back against the seat.

He probably just needed time to clear his head.

Now he’s going to head back and in about five minutes I’ll be ripping into him at home for nearly giving me a heart attack. I turn on the radio down low, then look back up and see he’s taking a slip road off at the next exit. The roads are becoming twisting, turning country roads that are gradually getting narrower.

My body tenses each time he leans into the corner first and for that split second until he comes into view again, I can’t think of anything but how, if something happens, it will be my fault. I should have found a different way. Tried to calm him. Instead I tried to make him talk about. I could have just told him not to worry and left him in the room on his own. He might have been upset but he would have been at home. Safe.

His head goes to his mirror, away, then back again. Then his head turns. He knows it’s me now.

He accelerates harder.

He’s pulling away, putting even more distance between us.

I can’t let him get away.

For his sake.

For James.

For Hayley.

My foot flattens to the floor.

The road turns, but the car…doesn’t.

Chapter Nineteen

Tyler

Something’s wrong.

I slow down, look back and my stomach drops when I see the car overturned in the middle of the road. Before the bike’s even stopped I’ve jumped off it and I’m running back, adrenaline pushing the blood pumping through my veins with so much pressure I can hear it through the silent, dark night. No other sound but the low rumble of distant traffic.

“Laurel!” I shout as loud as I can get the fucking word out.

The car’s smashed up at the front, windows shattered, sharp glass scattered all over the tarmac.

I push my body harder, faster.

“LAUREL!” I yell again. She’s still inside. I yank on the handle of the door, and it doesn’t budge. I brace my foot on the side of the car, and pull on the handle with both hands, desperately begging someone to give me the strength. It finally releases and with the force I stumble backwards.

She’s not moving.

I lurch forward and drag her out the car, then pick her up in my arms and run a safe distance away before laying her on the ground.

Limp, lifeless.

I drop to the ground, her name falling from my lips again and again.

A prayer.

He’s done shit for me so far, but maybe he’ll hear me this time.

She’s bleeding from cuts everywhere. I lean my ear down to her mouth, and I hear faint breaths.

She’s still alive.

Barely.

Her head’s in my lap and my cheeks are wet.

It’s just sweat.

I’m not crying, it’s just fucking sweat.

“Laurel, you have to stay awake. Stay awake.” I beg, I wrap my arm round her body and dig in my pocket for my phone. I don’t even know what I’m saying as I pull her close to me.

She moans faintly and my heart feels like it’s being ripped out. “Babe, stay awake.”

Oh God, I don’t know what to do.

I pull her closer and struggle with taking my jacket off to lay over her. She turns her head gently, and I rip off my t-shirt to put pressure over the huge gash on her forehead.

It doesn’t stop bleeding.

I feel the thick, sticky, warm stream all over my hands. 

Shit, this all my fault. All my fucking fault.

She might die.

My grip on her tightens.

She can’t die.

Not because of me.

She’s too kind, too beautiful, it wouldn’t be fair. Wouldn’t be right. She has people that love her.

Sirens sound in the distance.

She’ll be okay
, I tell myself over and over again because the alternative is unbearable.

They’re coming. They’ll look after her. Then I’ll go. How can I face her again after this? After what I did? As soon as they say she’s okay, I’ll leave. I fuck everything up. James is going to hate me even more than he did before. But that’s fine. I deserve that. And it can’t be any more than I hate myself.

The sirens get closer.

“They’re coming. Hold on, please.
Please, Laurel
.”

The tears haven’t stopped. I’m being pulled away. She’s surrounded by paramedics. My head drops. I’m going to be a pussy and faint. My legs are shaking. My hands are trembling. I’m sobbing. My chest hurts. My heart hurts.

“I’m going with her.”

The paramedic turns to look at me, eyes darting over my face. Her brisk voice means business and it brings me a tiny sliver of comfort that she’s in good hands.

“We need to leave now. Who are you? Are you family?”

I stare back, hard. She wants to make sure I’m family. I won’t be allowed with her if I’m not. I have to make sure she’s okay.

My voice breaks, and I barely manage to whisper, “She’s my sister.”

They don’t tell me anything. For the next two hours I’m in my own personal hell going through all the ‘what if’s’. What if she’s paralysed? What if she slips into a coma and doesn’t wake up? What if she dies? I’ve cried, more tears that I ever thought humanly possible. Some from worry, some from disappointment, a hell of a lot from guilt.

As soon as I got here and she was rushed away by the doctors, I rang my mum. She and Graham came here straight away, of course. Graham called James. He didn’t answer. Judy, Laurel’s mum, is also here sobbing in the corner of the waiting room. Laurel’s friends are in the hospital canteen, giving her family time alone. My mum moves next to Judy and puts her arm round her shoulder. Graham slumps over and puts his elbows on his knees, rubbing his hands over his face. Me? I’m desperately trying to keep it together. I don’t have the right to fall apart.

I did this.

I caused all this heartache. All the people close to us are slowly being destroyed by me. No-one knows all the details of tonight. Just that I was driving fast and she was trying to stop me. I need to figure out a way to tell them the truth. I’ve been avoiding my mum’s questioning looks since she got here. Luckily, she hasn’t pressed me further yet. I’ll go before she has the chance.

I lean back against the wall and close my eyes.

James

I’m so fucking tired. I had a meeting with the newest member of my team this afternoon who’s been having some teething problems with some particularly difficult builders. Then drinks tonight with Seb and Tiff was fun but exhausting. Tiff could talk for days if Seb let her. Now I want to fall onto that huge pillowed bed back at the hotel and fall sound asleep until tomorrow. I’m waking up early and putting this city behind me for the next couple of months until I have another project starting here. Then hopefully The Garrison too. The money I’d make on it would mean I could give Laurel the wedding of her dreams. Sometime today I decided I’m taking that ring Judy gave me and asking her as soon as I get back. I’ll use the car ride tomorrow to decide exactly how I’m doing it. But I’m definitely doing it this week, we’re in a good place and I don’t want to wait any longer.

I look at my watch and see it’s gone midnight. I know Laurel’s up early for work tomorrow but I hope she hasn’t gone to sleep already.

I need to hear her voice.

I get in the car, and take out my phone to ring her before I get to the hotel. I hit one, and put the phone to my ear. It goes straight to voicemail.

It isn’t until I hang up I see the missed calls and the number makes my head spin.

Thirty.

I scroll through and see everyone’s name except the one I want to see.

I hit the call button and he picks up immediately.

“J, thank God. I’ve been trying to get through.” His voice is panicked, distressed and it does nothing to ease the tension that’s coiling my body tight.

“What’s happened to her dad?” There’s a long pause.

I can’t do anything with silence.

I need
words.

“Dad?” I ask again, frustrated. “What’s wrong?”

“She’s in the hospital, son. We’re all here too but you need to come as soon as you can.”

I fumble with the phone and put it in the cradle on the dashboard, and hit speaker so I can carry on talking.

The engine comes to life and I speed away from the bar as fast as I can.

“J?”

“I’m here, dad. Just sorting my phone out. What happened?” I’m in a daze; I should be concentrating on the road but I can’t. I have too many thoughts rushing through my mind and I need his reassurance.

I’m not against begging for it.

But as soon as he carries on talking I know I won’t get it.

“I don’t know. We don’t know. Tyler was on his bike and she was driving behind him, and she crashed. That’s all we really know. Tyler called for an ambulance. Just…Just get here as soon as you can.” His voice breaks. He’s strong, so I know it’s serious.

I could lose her
. I may have already lost her. Tyler did this to her?
I’m gonna kill the fucker
.

“I…What…Is she going to be okay?”

“Don’t ask me that, son. I really don’t know.” I’m an hour away. I have to get some kind of information. It’s not good enough.

“For fuck’s sake, find out then!” I yell at my phone. I take a breath in and slam my hands against the steering wheel. My jaw clenches together and I grind the words out slowly.

“Find a doctor and get me answers.”

The pain rises up until it breaks free from my mouth in a choke.

“She can’t die dad. You need to get information. I can’t spend the next hour trapped in this car not knowing what’s going on. I can’t lose her too.”

A tear falls; I can’t stop it. I don’t want to stop it.

“I know. I’ll do my best and call you back.” The disconnect tone continues then my phone goes back to the home-screen and her smiling face beams at me in the dark.

He rings back after half an hour, and relays the information.

Surgery.

Critical condition.

Doing their best.

That’s all I get. That has to tide me over for the next ten minutes. Yeah, that’s right. The hour long journey will be taking me forty minutes tonight. Reckless? Yes. Will I slow down?
Hell. No.
The irony gets lost on me.

I’m parked up and bursting through the doors after eight minutes.

“Laurel Matthews?” I ask the receptionist who’s looking up at me and typing away on her computer way too fucking slowly. I want to shake some life into her. Doesn’t she know I could lose the most important thing to me tonight? Doesn’t she care?

“Are you family?” She looks down over the top of her glasses at me.

“I’m her boyfriend.” Her eyes go back to her computer and my fingers tap away on the desk restlessly.

Black fills my peripheral. Black fucking leather.

I turn my head and I don’t give myself time to think. I’m taking a swing at him and my fist connects with his face before I even realise what I’m doing. He doesn’t respond. He lets me hit him over and over again.

I grab the collar of his jacket and push him up against the wall. “You did this to her, asshole.”

His lip’s bleeding and his face is screwed up and wincing expecting the swing to come again. The receptionist’s calling for security. I can’t get chucked out of the hospital. I have to see her. With one last, hard shove I let him go just as my dad’s jogging round the corner.