Sword to the Heart (Bantam Series No. 13) (8 page)

“You would begin to know a little about each other and be quite certain in your own mind he was the man you would love for the rest of your life.”

“I am quite certain about that!” Natalia said in a low voice.

The Reverend Adolphus rose to his feet and walked across to the window.

“I have been wondering during the night, and I have not slept very much, if your mother and I did wrong when we agreed to His Lordship’s proposal three years ago, when he said he wished you to marry him.”

He sighed.

“I thought it strange at the time, and yet to your mother it was understandable seeing you were a distant relative. Then you were educated and brought up in the way which he approved. Now I am not so sure.”

“What do you mean, you are not so sure?” Natalia enquired. There was a silence as her father did not answer.

“Explain to me what you are trying to say, Papa,” Natalia insisted. “After all, look at what Lord Colwall has done for me. Look at what he has given me. Can there be any doubt that he loves me as I love him?”

Again there was a silence.

Then in a strained voice her father said:

“I wish your mother were here. Did she talk to you, Natalia, about marriage before you left?”

“We have talked of little else,” Natalia said with a smile. “Mama, as you well know, Papa, was very excited that I should live in the Castle she had known as a child.”

“I did not mean that,” the Vicar said a little uncomfortably. “I mean, Natalia, did she explain to you that when a man and a woman are married they are very close and intimate with each other, and it is love which makes their marriage either a Heaven or a Hell
.
”

There was a little pause and then Natalia said:

“I think I understand what you are trying to say, Papa, and although I am somewhat ignorant on this matter I am sure that I love Lord Colwall in the way of which you are speaking. I want to belong to him! I want to be very close to him!”

Her voice quivered a little as she spoke.

“You are quite certain, Natalia, that you would not rather come home with me today?” her father asked, turning round from the window to look at her. “We could tell Lord Colwall that his plans are too precipitate; that you would rather wait a few months, perhaps until the Spring.”

He looked at his daughter pleadingly.

“Then if you are both of the same mind, he can come to Pooley Bridge and you can be married from your own home as I always intended you would be.”

“Papa, how could we do such a thing?” Natalia cried. “His Lordship has made all the arrangements! Think of the flowers in the Chapel; the hundreds of people who are coming to the ceremony and the Medieval Feast. How could everything be cancelled at the last moment? He would never forgive me!”

“I suppose not,” the Reverend Adolphus admitted dully, “but I am not happy about it, Natalia.”

He walked towards his daughter and put his hands on her shoulders.

“You are so very lovely, my dearest, so very intelligent, and so very sweet. I think it would crucify me if I thought that you were unhappy.”

“But why should I be?” Natalia asked. “I have told you that I love Lord Colwall, that I want to be his wife, that I want to be with him now and for always.”

A smile lit her face.

“I have thought of him so often,” she said, “that I feel I know him just as if he had been with me these last three years. I am sure, quite sure he feels the same about me.”

There was an expression on her father’s face she did not understand.

He dropped his hands from her shoulders and with a heavy sigh turned towards the fire.

“If only your mother was here,” he muttered.

And because she did not understand she did not answer him.

As if he felt he could say no more, the Reverend Adolphus deliberately talked of other things—describing to Natalia the Library which she had not yet seen and which he had visited before breakfast.

He made her a list of the books he had seen there which he particularly wanted her to read.

They talked on the many subjects which had always interested them both, and somehow the hours passed until it was time for Natalia to dress for the Marriage Ceremony.

She went into her bed-room to find the Maids and the Housekeeper waiting for her.

When they had dressed her in a magnificent gown of white lace which was so elegant that it could only have come from Bond Street, Natalia looked at her reflection in the mirror, she felt sure Lord Colwall would approve.

The boat-shaped neckline of her gown was very becoming and showed the tops of her white shoulders.

Her tiny waist was encircled by a sash exquisitely embroidered with pearls and diamonds, which fell into a long train behind her.

There was a sparkling diamond tiara for her to wear on her head over the cobweb-fine veil of Brussels lace, which had been worn through many centuries by Colwall brides.
She looked unreal—a nymph who might have risen from the lake at Ullswater or stepped out from one of the cascades which poured down the high mountains after the rains.

Behind the veil, Natalia herself felt as if she viewed the world through a dream.

But this was really happening! She was to be married—and to the man who was the human embodiment of the Knight, her guardian Knight who had been her protector for so long.

‘Thank you, God,” she whispered beneath her breath.

The Housekeeper’s voice interrupted her.

“I wonder, Miss, if I might ask a very great favour?”

“But of course, Mrs. Hodges,” Natalia replied. “What is it?”

“His Lordship’s old Nanny, Mrs. Broom, is too crippled with arthritis to come downstairs to see you, Miss. She didn’t wish me to trouble you, but it would be a real kindness if you could step up to the next floor and let her see you in your wedding gown.”

“But of course I will,” Natalia replied instantly. “Show me the way.”

She lifted the front of her skirts and following the Housekeeper went from her bed-room along the passage to another staircase to the floor above.

It was quite a long way along corridors narrower than those on the first floor.

The Housekeeper stopped, knocked at a door, and Natalia heard a voice say:

“Come in.”

She found herself in what in one glance she recognised as a Nursery. There was a fire burning behind the high grate, there was a rocking-horse standing in one corner. There was the inevitable nursery screen made from scraps and transfers.

Sitting in a chair by the fire-side was a small grey-haired woman with the land and gentle face of one who has devoted her life to the care of children.

“I have brought you Miss Graystoke, Nurse,” the Housekeeper said.

“How kind! How very kind!”

Nanny made a great effort to rise from her chair, but Natalia moved quickly across the room to prevent her.

“Do not get up,” she said in a gentle voice. “I hear you have arthritis.”

“I have indeed, Miss, and some days it is worse than others. I think, if you ask me, it is sitting here having nothing to do.”

“I am sure it is,” Natalia agreed. “The moment I have time, I will make you one of the herbal drinks that Mama always makes for anyone who has rheumatism in the Parish. It really does help to relieve the pain.”

“I shall be very grateful for it, Miss,” Nanny said. “Won’t you sit down?”

The Housekeeper brought Natalia a cane chair and then withdrew from the room.

“You were His Lordship’s nurse?” Natalia asked.

“I have been at the Castle since I was fifteen,” Nanny replied. “At first I worked in the house as a housemaid, and then when His Lordship arrived, Her Ladyship, his mother, asked me if I would help the old Nurse who had been brought in to look after him.

“When she retired soon after Her Ladyship died, Master Ranulf was so happy with me that I was allowed to look after him all on my own.”

“He must have been a very sweet little boy,” Natalia said.

“He was the most beautiful baby you ever saw!” the Nurse exclaimed. “So handsome, I thought at the time he looked like an angel, and when he grew older, there was never a happier child.

“He may have been the only one but he never seemed lonely, and there was not a man or woman in the Castle who would not have laid down their life for him.”

Natalia smiled.

“I can see you loved him.”

“I still do,” the old woman replied, “but it is different, very different these days.”

Natalia was silent for a moment and then she asked:

“Why is it different?”

“He were badly treated—very badly treated, Miss. I expect His Lordship’ll tell you about it himself, although they say he’ll speak of it to no-one—no-one at all.”

“Who treated him badly?” Natalia asked—and knew the answer even as she asked the question.

As if she suddenly remembered it was Natalia’s wedding-day, Nanny pursed her lips together.

“You don’t want to be talking of things that happened in the past,” she said. “All I would ask is that you make my baby happy. That’s what he needs—happiness!”

“I shall try to make him very happy.”

Nurse stared up at Natalia as if her old eyes were trying to penetrate the veil.
“You will love him?”

It was a question.

“I already love him,” Natalia answered, “and I know that I will bring His Lordship happiness.”

“That’s all I ask, God bless you, Miss. May He bless you both.” The words were said in such a heart-felt manner that Natalia felt tears prick her eyes, then realising it must be getting late, she said good-bye.

‘If he has been really unhappy in the past I will make it up to him,’ she told herself. ‘I will make him happy! I must!’

Her father was waiting for her in the Sitting-Room and as she entered he looked at his watch.

“It is time we went to the Chapel, Natalia,” he said. “I cannot believe His Lordship would be pleased if we are late.”

There was some reserve in his tone as he spoke of his future son
-
in-law, as if he resented the plans that had been made and the fact that he and Natalia must carry them out.

“No, of course, we must not be late,” Natalia agreed. “Do I look all right, Papa?”

“You look beautiful,” her father said in all sincerity. “I would have wished above all else that I could have had the privilege of marrying you today, but I promise you one thing—I shall pray for you and, always, that God will bless you.”

“I think He has done that already, Papa,” Natalia smiled.

Then taking her father’s arm, she moved with him across the landing and down the great stone stair-case towards the Chapel.

CHAPTER FOUR

“The last guest has left, M’Lady,” Ellen announced, returning to the bed-room from the top of the stairs.

“Then I must go down to His Lordship,” Natalia said with a lilt in her voice.

There had only been a few people left in the Dining-Hall when she had gone upstairs to remove her veil and tiara and change from her wedding-gown into another dress.

She had said good-bye to her father knowing he was displeased and resentful at having to return to Cumberland so quickly.

She had a deep affection for him, but at the same time she longed above all things to be alone with her husband.

The wedding had been even more wonderful than she had anticipated.

The Chapel with its high pillars and great Gothic arches had been filled with flowers. The altar was white with them and in every window-ledge and against every wall there were clumps of lilies, carnations, gardenias and other exotic blooms from the greenhouses.

There had been a choir of young boys whose voices had seemed to soar like angels towards the Heavens.

The Chapel was packed with all the distinguished nobility of the County, but Natalia moving slowly up the aisle on her father’s arm was conscious of only one person.

Her Knight—waiting for her at the Chancel steps!

When they had said their wedding vows and Lord Colwall had repeated in his deep voice: “With this ring, I thee wed; with my body I thee worship,” Natalia had felt it was a moment so sacred and so moving that the tears had come into her eyes.

She was his wife! She was his! This was the moment she had longed for for three years!

The Marriage Feast, as Lord Colwall had intended, was sensational and an astonishment to his guests.

They had exclaimed over the glazed boars heads, the geese stuffed with oysters, the swans garnished with peaches.

There was even a peacock served with its enormous tail spread fan-like to arouse loud exclamations of surprise from the diners.

Course succeeded course, and the gold goblets from which they drank were kept constantly replenished with champagne.

The Dining-Hall was filled with guests, and yet there appeared to be a footman behind every chair. Natalia had never imagined that anyone could entertain in such luxury.

The flowers in the Hall made it the “bower of beauty” which Lord Colwall had promised.

Natalia thought how wonderful it was to find a man who was so masculine in every way and yet had an appreciation of flowers and gardens.

It would make yet another interest that they could share together, and she longed for the moment when they could exchange opinions on so many different subjects.

‘Now I understand,’ Natalia told herself, ‘why His Lordship wished me to be so well educated! He himself seems to know even more than Papa!’

When the feast was over, Natalia received so many compliments, so many good wishes and so many blessings for her future happiness that it was finally with flushed cheeks and shining eyes that she left the Hall.

She first said good-bye to her father and then she went upstairs to change her gown.

‘Now the house will be quiet,’ she thought as she descended the stone staircase.

In the Hall, Herald, the mastiff, was waiting for her. He had been shut up during the wedding and he ran towards her playfully, glad to be free again.

She put her hand on his head and he walked beside her into the Salon where she expected to find Lord Colwall.

He was not there, so she moved towards the fire-place, thinking she would sit on the hearth-rug and play with Herald until he appeared.

It was then she heard voices, and realised they came from another room which opened out of the one she was in.

She had learnt by now that the Salon in which Lord Colwall had received them last night was called from the Norman days “Le Salon d’Or,” and the one beyond it was known as “Le Salon d’Argent.”

In Le Salon d’Argent she heard Lord Col wall’s deep voice and another which she suspected belonged to Sir James Parke.

'He would be the last one to leave,’ she thought, ‘because he has so ably supported His Lordship all the afternoon and evening
.
’

The door into Le Salon d’Argent which was to the right of the fire-place was half-open and as Natalia drew near, she heard Sir James say:

“She is enchanting, Ranulf, the most exquisite creature I have ever encountered! So tell me, dear boy, that you have now discarded all those ridiculous notions with which you shocked me the day before yesterday. You will fall deeply in love with this beautiful girl and live happily ever afterwards!”

“Never!”

The exclamation was sharp and loud.

“Listen to me, Ranulf. Natalia is not an ordinary, stupid Society Chit who will be content with a position at the top of your table. She is intelligent, sensitive and will ask more from life than that!”

“I told you when we talked of it before exactly what I want in this marriage
,
” Lord Colwall retorted. “I require, Sir James, in case you have forgotten, a wife who will give me a son! That is all I ask except that she should be pure and untouched. And this time I have made certain of that!”

“Ranulf, have you looked at Natalia? Knowing that she was her mother’s daughter, I was expecting her to be pretty and charming, but nothing so unusual, or indeed so breathtakingly lovely.”

“You are very dramatic, Sir James,” Lord Colwall said scathingly, “but I assure you that whatever Natalia looks like, it will not affect my resolve never again to love any woman—nor, if I can prevent it, to allow her to love me. There is no place for that nauseating emotion in my life.”

There was a pause and then Sir James said sadly:

“I can only pray, Ranulf, that time will make you change your mind, or perhaps Natalia will do that.”

“In this instance, your prayers will undoubtedly remain unanswered,” Lord Colwall said coldly.

“Then I can only say good-bye,” Sir James said. “It was a very delightful wedding and the County will talk about the Feast which followed it for years to come. I hope that gives you some satisfaction.”

“It does indeed,” Lord Colwall said lightly. ‘It always pleases me when my plans work out in exactly the manner I intended. Good-bye, Sir James, and thank you for your support.”

Natalia stood in Le Salon d’Or as if turned to stone.

She had not moved since she first overheard what Lord Colwall and Sir James were saying in the next room, and as Lord Colwall pushed open the door he saw her.

Her face was so pale that he was instantly aware that something had occurred.

“What is it?” he asked. “What is wrong?”

She did not answer because she felt as if her throat was constricted and it was hard to breathe. Then Lord Colwall realised that the door had been open and she must have overheard what was being said.

“I was talking to Sir James,” he said and his voice was a little uncertain.

“I
...
heard
...
you.”

Natalia managed to speak the words and now she made her first movement. One small hand crept up to her breast.

Lord Colwall advanced a little further into the Salon.

“It was a conversation that was not meant for your ears,” he said. “I feel sure you will understand that whatever I said to Sir James does not in any way alter the respect I have for you.”

“Re
...
spect?” Natalia could hardly breathe the word.

Lord Colwall walked to the fire-place and stood with his back to the fire.

“I must commend you, Natalia, on the excellent way in which you received my employees last night and my friends today. I am well aware that it was a great ordeal for a girl brought up as quietly as you have been. But let me tell you that you came through with flying colours!”

He spoke heavily, choosing his words with care. But now, looking at Natalia’s white face, he realised that what he said had not impinged on her consciousness.

“I did
...
not ... understand,” she said in a very low voice.

“What did you not understand?” he enquired.

“That all you
...
wanted from a
...
wife was that she should
...
produce ... an heir.”

Lord Colwall made a little gesture of impatience.

“Surely it was obvious? I supposed that your mother would have explained to you that our marriage was advantageous to us both.” There was a silence and then Natalia said:

“Did you really
...
think that I was
...
marrying you simply for your
...
title and the
...
position you could give me
...
here?”

“What else?” he asked in surprise. ‘We did not know each other.”

“But we did!” Natalia contradicted. “You came to Pooley Bridge. You saw me and after that everything in my life was changed. You arranged my education, you sent me Crusader, and Mama wrote reports to you of my progress every month. She told me so.”

“It was in fact your mother’s suggestion,” Lord Colwall said. “But surely at such a brief encounter you could hardly expect to engage my affections?”

Natalia raised her eyes to his and he saw they were dark with pain.

“I thought you
...
loved
...
me.”

For a moment it seemed as if Lord Colwall had also been turned to stone. Then he looked away from Natalia’s eyes to say harshly:

“How could you imagine anything so absurd? So ridiculous? You were only a child when I came to your home.”

“I was
...
old enough to fall ... in love,” Natalia answered. “I loved you when I saw you coming towards me through the mist over the lake. You looked as I had always
...
imagined
...
”

She stopped.

“What did you imagine?” Lord Colwall asked curiously.

“It is difficult to
...
explain,” Natalia answered. “Papa said once that instead of an angel to
...
watch over us, we each have a Knight
...
like the
...
Knights of Malta to
...
guard and protect us from
...
evil. In my
...
dreams he looked exactly like
...
you!”

There was a little throb in her voice which was extremely moving.

Lord Colwall took a deep breath.

“This is not what I anticipated,” he said. “I think, Natalia, the best thing we can do is to sit down and discuss this matter sensibly.”

Obediently, as if she was a puppet that must obey his commands, Natalia seated herself on the edge of the sofa. She put her hands in her lap and raised her eyes to his.

She suddenly seemed very small, very fragile—a waif, rather than the glowing, happy girl who had walked down the aisle on his arm.

“I do not know how much you know about my first marriage,” Lord Colwall said. “There is in fact no reason for you to learn the details. It is sufficient for me to tell you that what happened then made me determined never again, as long as I live, to be embroiled in the misery, the degradation of what is called love.”

“And yet you
...
wished to marry
...
again?” Natalia said.

“I married so that I could have children,” Lord Colwall replied. “You know the history of my family. You have learnt that this Castle has been handed from father to son all down the centuries. I want an heir, Natalia, and that was why I chose you.”

“Any
...
woman could have served the same
...
purpose,” Natalia said in a low voice.

“Not any woman,” Lord Colwall corrected. “It had to be someone whom I would be proud to acknowledge as my wife and who would be a fitting mother for my children. You have both these qualities, Natalia.”

“But they are external assets,” Natalia answered. “They do not affect me
...
the real
...
me. I would never have married
...
anyone I did not
...
love.”

“It is unfortunate,” Lord Colwall admitted, “that we could not have this discussion before the Marriage Ceremony took place! But I could not be expected to imagine that a girl to whom I had spoken once three years ago would consider herself in love with me or expect me to love her in return.”

There was something almost defiant in the way he spoke.

“I see
...
now that it was very
...
foolish,” Natalia said in a low voice.

“If you admit that,” Lord Colwall said in a brighter tone, “I think the best thing for you to do is to forget that, by an unfortunate chance, you overheard a private conversation between myself and Sir James. You are my wife, Natalia, and I shall always treat you in a manner to which I am quite certain you can never take exception.”