Temptation (Journal of the Wolves of Spruce Hollow) (13 page)

I could see specks of light off in the distance but I found myself wishing that I had Roan’s Were vision for a moment. The dark woods had always creeped me out, ever since I was little. I didn’t know if it was because I grew up surrounded by Weres and knew that there really were things out there in the dark or maybe it was some repressed memory due to being left in a car in the middle of the night while my biological mother met with her drug dealer.

Who knows?

When we finally emerged at the end of the trail, it was immediately apparent that “this” was the Dam.

Justin had been right, it was awesome!

The Dam was larger than life and bigger and better than any story I had ever heard about it. The fire pit was enormous and blazing cheerily in the middle of the clearing was literally the biggest fire I had ever seen in my entire life. It didn’t have just have firewood burning in it, like a normal fire would, it had whole stumps, logs and tree trunks. The heat the fire threw off didn’t make it seem like a cold November night at all.

I didn’t know how safe it was to build such a massive fire in the middle of the woods and then throw in a large gathering of intoxicated teenagers to boot, but the Dam had been around for many years and no one had burned down the forest during one of those parties.

Yet.

Shut up brain, could you sound anymore like Roan right now? Don’t you dare ruin this night for me. Now, be quiet, we’re supposed to be having fun here!

The gathering was extensive and it seemed like everyone in the senior class was present, in addition to a smaller number of kids in the junior and sophomore class. I felt like an excited little kid at the county fair as I gawked and whipped my head around at every new sight and sound. The whole experience was overwhelming to me but so exciting at the same time.

I was nearly humming with the electricity that pulsated in the air; at least it felt that way to me. Maybe it had more to do with the pulsating excitement that I felt inside, rather than the environment but the two were so closely woven for me that it felt like one and the same.

Justin reached down, grabbed my hand and led me towards the picnic tables. My hand felt small and delicate inside his and..OMG, he was holding my hand and in front of everyone too!! Overcome with excitement, my heart was beating so loud, like a drum in my chest.

I thought I might die, it was pounding so hard. Holding someones hand in public, in the teenage world, was the equivalent of announcing out loud
“Yeah, you see this girl right here? Hands off, ‘cause we’re together”.

The exhilaration of the entire situation was nearly too much for me to absorb and we had only just gotten to the party! What other wonders might the evening hold?

We met up with Justin’s buddies on the football team, who were congregated in a rowdy group near the fire. I felt slightly intimidated around them and just stood at Justin’s side and smiled shyly at everyone.

He introduced me to each of them and I just kind of said “hi” but didn’t make any real conversation with them, I was much too nervous as I hadn’t really met any of the guys on the football team in person before tonight, but I had seen all of them in the halls at school, either wearing their team jackets or on the field at our school football games.

Football players were a big deal in my high school.

They were, for the most part, the social leaders in school and therefore, the most popular kids in our small town and I was completely out of my element, standing here amongst them. This was uncharted territory for me because although it did happen occasionally, seniors generally didn’t hang out with or date anyone below their grade level. So, the fact that I was even in their social circle right now was a pretty big, awesome deal.

“Hey, you want a beer?” Justin asked as he steered me away from his group of buddies and walked us towards another picnic table where they had several round, shiny metal barrels set up on picnic tables. I’d never seen round barrels like these before in my life and wasn’t even exactly sure what they were, but there was no way I was going to embarrass myself and ask Justin about it.

I felt gauche enough as it was. But from watching the other kids, I gathered that people were pouring some sort of liquid from a spout in the round metal barrel and then drinking it. It was obviously some sort of alcohol.

Probably.

It could be fruit punch for all I knew. I wasn’t exactly a Dam party officianado but I was going to find out soon enough as Justin got two big plastic cups from a stack of cups that was sitting on the picnic table next to the metal barrels. He filled them like a pro and then passed one to me.

“It’s Budweiser, hope you don’t mind,” he said as held the glass out to me. I took the glass and looked at it. I felt an anxious titter bubble up inside of me but I stifled it back down as I robotically nodded my head, like I had a clue what he was talking about.

I had never consumed alcohol before in my life, much less held a glass full of it in my hand. This was my first time and truthfully, I was beyond nervous.

Over the years, I’d occasionally seen Roan drink beer from a can or bottle, but not very often and only in the summertime while he was barbecuing or after he had mowed the lawn, but I had never actually held or seen beer up close before.

I took a sniff and it smelled kind of yeasty and sour. Ugh.

I sure hope it tasted better than it smelled. Justin sure seemed to like it and was taking big mouthfuls of his and not wanting to seem out of my element or childish in front of him, I brought my cup up to my mouth and took a small sip.

OMG, YUCK!

It tasted disgusting and made me gag a little as I swallowed. Why would anyone in his or her right mind want to drink beer if this is what it tasted like? Justin smiled down at me with that perfect smile and laughed out loud at the disgusted look on my face.

I immediately exploded in embarrassed heat from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, as my stomach protested wildly.

Oh, Lord, please don’t throw up Aspen.

Justin looked me up and down, appraising me. Maybe he was thinking that he had made a mistake in asking me to come here with him?

Not wanting to seem unworthy of him, I took another drink and forced a smile at him.

Okay, that wasn’t as bad as the first time but it was still pretty awful.

I looked at the large, full cup and sighed. I hoped I would be able to finish it.

“Hey, can we go sit by the fire?” I asked as I rubbed my free hand up my arm. Maybe an opportunity might present itself at some point and allow me to pour some of the awful beer out when he turned his back or something?

Sitting by the fire made me feel warm and toasty inside. I was glad because I hadn’t brought my jacket with me and the air outside was chilly. My beer was still full and resigned to drinking the foul liquid; I held it up to my mouth and drank it slowly as I took a look around. Kids were sitting or standing all around the fire pit, warming up, and like us, they were all drinking too.

One thing’s for certain, Dam parties sure were loud. No wonder they had to have them so far in the woods! The music was cranked up and I vaguely wondered how they’d even managed to get music playing in the middle of the woods. Where did they even plug the speakers in?

I didn’t wonder for long when “Copperhead Road” started playing and the school football quarterback, Nick Phillips, yelled out “I love this fucking song, turn it up Trevor!” and Trevor Stevens took off down the path that lead to the parking area and the music suddenly got louder.

“Where is the music coming from,” I asked as I looked around the party. “Over there,” Justin said as he pointed to a far corner of the clearing that I hadn’t noticed before. “It’s crazy isn’t it? Trevor rigged up his stereo to play on a truck adaptor and he and a few of the guys hauled these old speakers that he found in the trash last summer up here. He leaves them up here all year round and then just brings up a crapload of wire to connect the speaker to the truck whenever we have a party. Wild huh?”

I nodded my head in agreement. Mystery solved.

I had never felt so out of my element in my entire life.

                ***

A
s the hours flew by, one fact became glaringly obvious:

Justin was perfect, I was sure of it.

Not only was he perfect, he was beautiful and funny too. He told me amusing stories about his family, the football team and the leadership camp that he had attended over the summer. We talked and laughed as we drank our beer by the warmth of the fire.

By the time I’d reached the bottom of my large plastic cup, Justin seemed even funnier than before, if that was even possible. I really liked him a lot and hoped that I had made a good enough impression for him to ask me out on a date again.

Justin stood and pulled me up to stand with him “Wanna dance, beautiful girl?” he asked seductively.

My face lit up in a smile as I drank in his words. I don’t think I had ever heard another male refer to me as “beautiful” before and I wanted to roll around and bask in the glow of it for a while.

Not even Roan had ever said those words to me and as I got older, I secretly worried that maybe the reason that I’d never heard anyone say those words was because I wasn’t a very attractive girl and would never find a man that would love me.

It was especially difficult from my vantage point of living with and being surrounded daily by the physical perfection of all the male and female Weres in the pack, but also from hanging around Sorcha day after day for the past ten years.

I didn’t have a chance in hell against that freaky kind of unflawed perfection because Sorcha was Barbie doll perfect with a capital letter “B” stamped somewhere on her ass, I was sure of it..

It kind of gave a girl an inferiority complex, you know?

I smiled and followed Justin away from the fire towards the area where the rest of the partygoers were drinking and dancing.

“Whoops, careful,” Justin said as I caught my foot against a shallow tree root and careened into him. “I’m so sorry, are you okay?” I said apologetically as he steadied me and then put his arms around my waist. “You really need someone to take care of you, don’t you?” he whispered softly into my ear.

It must be the beer talking because my head felt fuzzy and my thoughts disjointed as I started giggling into Justin’s embrace on the makeshift dancing area at the Dam. It was a peculiar feeling, for sure, but one that was completely freeing at the same time.

I felt emboldened in that moment, like I could say or do anything I wanted to.

Almost like I was totally invincible.

I broke from Justin embrace and started to seductively sway my hips back and forth to the music. At least, I thought I looked pretty damn alluring. Who knows? I didn’t have much experience with dancing, having only been to two school dances, back in middle school, prior to this.

As Justin came up and grabbed me from behind, I figured I must have been moving the right way as he pulled me right into him, our bodies sandwiched together and moving at the same time to the music.

I could feel everything like this, his hands on my hips, his fingers splayed and touching against my bare stomach. I could even feel his heart pounding in his chest tight against my back and his hardening cock against my ass.

It set my pulse racing.

I was set to brimming with teenaged lust for this boy and fearlessly reached my arms up and laced my fingers around the back of his head like I had seen in a movie once.

Omg, was that too sleazy or too forward of me?

I had no idea but from the looks of envy and hatred I was getting from a couple of the girls from the cheerleading squad that were standing off to the side, I thought maybe it was entirely the right thing.

Eat your heart out girls; I was the center of attention for once!

“I like you a lot, Aspen,” he said as he nuzzled my neck. 

“I like you too, Justin.” I whispered back.

We danced, sandwiched together like this, for a while until he spun me around so I was facing him. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him, so our crotches were rubbing together.

I felt such a rush of intoxicating female power, knowing that my body could affect his and make him rub himself against me in such a way.

My body was a seductive weapon in my toolbox of enticing, sexual implements, right next to make up and revealing clothing!

Who knew?

This thought had never occurred to me before tonight because I had never had the chance to cut my teeth and use it before. Roan made sure he squelched any and all budding relationships that I’d ever had with boys. Perhaps he understood all too well that young women were powerful entities and had things that young men wanted, badly.

Tonight, there was no Roan around and therefore, none of his rules or disapproving glares to stop me from doing whatever I wanted.

I may not be a Were, but I felt like pointing my nose towards the sky and howling out “Hear me roar, universe”!

The song ended and Justin didn’t let me go when the next song, a fast one, came on. We just swayed and looked into each others eyes.

“Hey, you want another beer?” he asked. I was high with excitement from being in such close proximity to him, and even though I hated every single mouthful of the first one, I said, “Yeah, sure, I’d love one,” without even thinking.

                ***

 I
sat in wolf form, hidden amongst the dense forest, and watched Aspen dance with that little prick Justin. Their bodies were sandwiched together and he had his hands on her ass.

I wanted to rip his still beating heart out of his chest while I made Aspen watch and then locked her in the basement for the next couple of years until I felt better about the whole situation.

I was consumed with jealous fury and could feel it coursing through my veins, egging me on to act out my rage towards them both.

Honestly, I couldn’t believe that the half dressed girl that stood in the clearing, with sexy makeup and straight-ironed hair was my Aspen. How could that be her? My eyes must be deceiving me. I mean, she didn’t even look the same or hold her body the same way. She looked like a naughty, little sex kitten.