The Adventures and Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes (4 page)

Our visitor glanced with some apparent surprise at the languid, lounging figure of the man who had been no doubt depicted to him as the most incisive reasoner, and most energetic agent in Europe. Holmes slowly reopened his eyes, and looked impatiently at his gigantic client.

‘If Your Majesty would condescend to state your case,' he remarked, ‘I should be better able to advise you.'

The man sprang from his chair, and paced up and down the room in uncontrollable agitation. Then, with a gesture of desperation, he tore the mask from his face and hurled it upon the ground. ‘You are right,' he cried, ‘I am the King. Why should I attempt to conceal it?'

‘Why, indeed?' murmured Holmes. ‘Your Majesty had not spoken before I was aware that I was addressing Wilhelm Gottsreich Sigismond von Ormstein, Grand Duke of Cassel-Falstein, and hereditary King of Bohemia.'
²⁰

‘But you can understand,' said our strange visitor, sitting down once more and passing his hand over his high, white forehead, ‘you can understand that I am not accustomed to doing such business in my own person. Yet the matter was so delicate that I could not confide it to an agent without putting myself in his power. I have come
incognito
from Prague
²¹
for the purpose of consulting you.'

‘Then, pray consult,' said Holmes, shutting his eyes once more.

‘The facts are briefly these: Some five years ago, during a lengthy visit to Warsaw, I made the acquaintance of the well-known adventuress Irene Adler. The name is no doubt familiar to you.'

‘Kindly look her up in my index, Doctor,' murmured Holmes, without opening his eyes. For many years he had adopted a system of docketing all paragraphs concerning men and things, so that it was difficult to name a subject or a person on which he could not at once furnish information. In this case I found her biography sandwiched in between that of a Hebrew Rabbi
²²
and that of a staff-commander who had written a monograph upon the deep-sea fishes.

‘Let me see,' said Holmes. ‘Hum! Born in New Jersey in the year 1858. Contralto – hum! La Scala,
²³
hum! Prima donna Imperial Opera of Warsaw – Yes! Retired from operatic stage – ha! Living in London – quite so! Your Majesty, as I understand, became entangled with this young person, wrote her some compromising letters, and is now desirous of getting those letters back.'

‘Precisely so. But how—'

‘Was there a secret marriage?'

‘None.'

‘No legal papers or certificates?'

‘None.'

‘Then I fail to follow Your Majesty. If this young person should produce her letters for blackmailing or other purposes, how is she to prove their authenticity?'

‘There is the writing.'

‘Pooh, pooh! Forgery.'

‘My private note-paper.'

‘Stolen.'

‘My own seal.'

‘Imitated.'

‘My photograph.'

‘Bought.'

‘We were both in the photograph.'

‘Oh, dear! That is very bad! Your Majesty has indeed committed an indiscretion.'

‘I was mad – insane.'

‘You have compromised yourself seriously.'

‘I was only Crown Prince then. I was young. I am but thirty now.'

‘It must be recovered.'

‘We have tried and failed.'

‘Your Majesty must pay. It must be bought.'

‘She will not sell.'

‘Stolen, then.'

‘Five attempts have been made. Twice burglars in my pay ransacked her house. Once we diverted her luggage when she travelled. Twice she has been waylaid. There has been no result.'

‘No sign of it?'

‘Absolutely none.'

Holmes laughed. ‘It is quite a pretty little problem,' said he.

‘But a very serious one to me,' returned the King, reproachfully.

‘Very, indeed. And what does she propose to do with the photograph?'

‘To ruin me.'

‘But how?'

‘I am about to be married.'

‘So I have heard.'

‘To Clotilde Lothman von Saxe-Meningen, second daughter of the King of Scandinavia.
²⁴
You may know the strict principles of her family. She is herself the very soul of delicacy. A shadow of a doubt as to my conduct would bring the matter to an end.'

‘And Irene Adler?'

‘Threatens to send them the photograph. And she will do it. I know that she will do it. You do not know her, but she has a soul of steel. She has the face of the most beautiful of women, and the mind of the
most resolute of men. Rather than I should marry another woman, there are no lengths to which she would not go – none.'

‘You are sure that she has not sent it yet?'

‘I am sure.'

‘And why?'

‘Because she has said that she would send it on the day when the betrothal was publicly proclaimed. That will be next Monday.'

‘Oh, then, we have three days yet,' said Holmes, with a yawn. ‘That is very fortunate, as I have one or two matters of importance to look into just at present. Your Majesty will, of course, stay in London for the present?'

‘Certainly. You will find me at the Langham,
²⁵
under the name of the Count von Kramm.'

‘Then I shall drop you a line to let you know how we progress.'

‘Pray do so. I shall be all anxiety.'

‘Then, as to money?'

‘You have
carte blanche
.'

‘Absolutely?'

‘I tell you that I would give one of the provinces of my kingdom to have that photograph.'

‘And for present expenses?'

The King took a heavy chamois leather bag from under his cloak, and laid it on the table.

‘There are three hundred pounds in gold, and seven hundred in notes,' he said.

Holmes scribbled a receipt upon a sheet of his notebook, and handed it to him.

‘And mademoiselle's address?' he asked.

‘Is Briony Lodge, Serpentine Avenue, St John's Wood.'
²⁶

Holmes took a note of it. ‘One other question,' said he. ‘Was the photograph a cabinet?'
²⁷

‘It was.'

‘Then, good night, Your Majesty, and I trust that we shall soon have some good news for you. And good night, Watson,' he added, as the wheels of the royal brougham rolled down the street. ‘If you will
be good enough to call tomorrow afternoon, at three o'clock, I should like to chat this little matter over with you.'

At three o'clock precisely I was at Baker Street, but Holmes had not yet returned. The landlady informed me that he had left the house shortly after eight o'clock in the morning. I sat down beside the fire, however, with the intention of awaiting him, however long he might be. I was already deeply interested in his inquiry, for, though it was surrounded by none of the grim and strange features which were associated with the two crimes which I have elsewhere recorded,
²⁸
still, the nature of the case and the exalted station of his client gave it a character of its own. Indeed, apart from the nature of the investigation which my friend had on hand, there was something in his masterly grasp of a situation, and his keen, incisive reasoning, which made it a pleasure to me to study his system of work, and to follow the quick, subtle methods by which he disentangled the most inextricable mysteries. So accustomed was I to his invariable success that the very possibility of his failing had ceased to enter into my head.

It was close upon four before the door opened, and a drunken-looking groom, ill-kempt and side-whiskered with an inflamed face and disreputable clothes, walked into the room. Accustomed as I was to my friend's amazing powers in the use of disguises, I had to look three times before I was certain that it was indeed he. With a nod he vanished into the bedroom, whence he emerged in five minutes tweed-suited and respectable, as of old. Putting his hands into his pockets, he stretched out his legs in front of the fire, and laughed heartily for some minutes.

‘Well, really!' he cried, and then he choked; and laughed again until he was obliged to lie back, limp and helpless, in the chair.

‘What is it?'

‘It's quite too funny. I am sure you could never guess how I employed my morning, or what I ended by doing.'

‘I can't imagine. I suppose that you have been watching the habits, and perhaps the house, of Miss Irene Adler.'

‘Quite so, but the sequel was rather unusual. I will tell you, however. I left the house a little after eight o'clock this morning, in the character of a groom out of work. There is a wonderful sympathy and freemasonry among horsy men. Be one of them, and you will know all that there is to know. I soon found Briony Lodge. It is a bijou villa, with a garden at the back, but built out in front right up to the road, two storeys. Chubb lock to the door. Large sitting-room on the right side, well-furnished, with long windows almost to the floor, and those preposterous English window fasteners which a child could open. Behind there was nothing remarkable, save that the passage window could be reached from the top of the coach-house. I walked round it and examined it closely from every point of view, but without noting anything else of interest.

‘I then lounged down the street, and found, as I expected, that there was a mews in a lane which runs down by one wall of the garden. I lent the ostlers a hand in rubbing down their horses, and I received in exchange twopence, a glass of half-and-half,
²⁹
two fills of shag tobacco and as much information as I could desire about Miss Adler, to say nothing of half a dozen other people in the neighbourhood in whom I was not in the least interested, but whose biographies I was compelled to listen to.'

‘And what of Irene Adler?' I asked.

‘Oh, she has turned all the men's heads down in that part. She is the daintiest thing under a bonnet on this planet. So say the Serpentine Mews, to a man. She lives quietly, sings at concerts, drives out at five every day, and returns at seven sharp for dinner. Seldom goes out at other times, except when she sings. Has only one male visitor, but a good deal of him. He is dark, handsome, and dashing; never calls less than once a day, and often twice. He is a Mr Godfrey Norton, of the Inner Temple.
³⁰
See the advantages of a cabman as a confidant. They had driven him home a dozen times from Serpentine Mews, and knew all about him. When I had listened to all that they had to tell, I began to walk up and down near Briony Lodge once more, and to think over my plan of campaign.

‘This Godfrey Norton was evidently an important factor in the matter. He was a lawyer. That sounded ominous. What was the relation between them, and what the object of his repeated visits? Was she his client, his friend, or his mistress? If the former, she had probably transferred the photograph to his keeping. If the latter, it was less likely. On the issue of this question depended whether I should continue my work at Briony Lodge, or turn my attention to the gentleman's chambers in the Temple. It was a delicate point, and it widened the field of my inquiry. I fear that I bore you with these details, but I have to let you see my little difficulties, if you are to understand the situation.'

‘I am following you closely,' I answered.

‘I was still balancing the matter in my mind when a hansom cab
³¹
drove up to Briony Lodge, and a gentleman sprang out. He was a remarkably handsome man, dark, aquiline, and moustached – evidently the man of whom I had heard. He appeared to be in a great hurry, shouted to the cabman to wait, and brushed past the maid who opened the door with the air of a man who was thoroughly at home.

‘He was in the house about half an hour, and I could catch glimpses of him, in the windows of the sitting-room, pacing up and down, talking excitedly and waving his arms. Of her I could see nothing. Presently he emerged, looking even more flurried than before. As he stepped up to the cab, he pulled a gold watch from his pocket and looked at it earnestly. “Drive like the devil,” he shouted, “first to Gross and Hankey's in Regent Street,
³²
and then to the Church of St Monica in the Edgware Road.
³³
Half a guinea if you do it in twenty minutes!”

‘Away they went, and I was just wondering whether I should not do well to follow them, when up the lane came a neat little landau,
³⁴
the coachman with his coat only half buttoned, and his tie under his ear, while all the tags of his harness were sticking out of the buckles. It hadn't pulled up before she shot out of the hall door and into it. I only caught a glimpse of her at the moment, but she was a lovely woman, with a face that a man might die for.

‘“The Church of St Monica, John,” she cried, “and half a sovereign if you reach it in twenty minutes.”

‘This was quite too good to lose, Watson. I was just balancing whether I should run for it, or whether I should perch behind her
landau, when a cab came through the street. The driver looked twice at such a shabby fare; but I jumped in before he could object. “The Church of St Monica,” said I, “and half a sovereign if you reach it in twenty minutes.” It was twenty-five minutes to twelve,
³⁵
and of course it was clear enough what was in the wind.

‘My cabby drove fast. I don't think I ever drove faster, but the others were there before us. The cab and the landau with their steaming horses were in front of the door when I arrived. I paid the man and hurried into the church. There was not a soul there save the two whom I had followed, and a surpliced clergyman, who seemed to be expostulating with them. They were all three standing in a knot in front of the altar. I lounged up the side aisle like any other idler who has dropped into a church. Suddenly, to my surprise, the three at the altar faced round to me, and Godfrey Norton came running as hard as he could towards me.