The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook: A Defense Manual for the Coming Extraterrestrial Apocalypse (11 page)

FIGURE 2.6 C:
Concealment is the key to pit trap success.

FIGURE 2.6 D:
Victory is yours.

Preparation time: 3–4 hours

Level of difficulty: medium

Location: mountainous terrain with abundant rocks

If you find yourself in a mountainous environment when being pursued by aliens, the Peruvian rockfall trap has the advantage of being both relatively easy to construct and conceal. This trap unleashes a cascade of boulders on your hapless prey, sweeping them into oblivion.

The three basic requirements for this trap are a ready supply of large rocks, a slope of sufficient gradient for them to roll down, and at least 100 yards of heavy-grade wire for the trip mechanism. Here's how to build the trap:

1. POSITION:
Select a steep, exposed slope (the gradient must be greater than 30°), free of any natural features, such as trees or large rocks that the hapless aliens could shelter behind.

2. PLATFORM CONSTRUCTION:
Select a position at least 100 yards uphill from the target zone, and build a sturdy log platform propped up by suitable supports. Ensure that these vertical supports are carefully balanced on a rounded log, so as to easily pull free when triggered from below. Collect boulders (at least fifty pounds each) and roll or drag them on top of the platform. If possible, get help with heavy rocks, and always keep your back straight when lifting. Multiple traps can be made along a slope to increase the chances of a successful hit.

3. TRIGGER DEVICE:
Balance a boulder on the outside of the path directly below the platform in the target zone. Inconspicuously run a wire from the platform supports to the path and tie it to the boulder, providing enough slack to allow the boulder to gather sufficient speed before snapping the wire tight. Dig a shallow hole on the path adjacent to the boulder. Insert a sturdy stick or two under the boulder, supported on a fulcrum (e.g., a small rock) and projecting out into the hole, level with the path to act as a lever when stepped on.

FIGURE 2.7 A:
Platform construction

FIGURE 2.7 B:
Trigger device

4. CONCEALMENT:
Camouflage the top of the hole with local materials. When an alien steps on the trigger sticks, the boulder will be levered off the edge of the slope, causing it to pull out the supports of the platform and unleash a tsunami of boulders down upon the alien.

NOTE:
It is possible to construct a series of platforms holding thousands of pounds of rocks. Once triggered, one rockslide would trigger another, creating a potential rockfall zone of hundreds of yards. This would alleviate any possibility of an alien escaping the target zone prior to the rocks reaching it.

Preparation time: 1–2 hours

Level of difficulty: medium

Location: woodland or forest

This trap derives it name from the fifteenth-century Romanian prince who systematically impaled his captives on stakes. It involves suspending a sharpened stake or log in the treetops that, when triggered, swings down and impales its unsuspecting alien victim. Setting the trap often requires a lot of fine-tuning to achieve perfect balance and delivery of the log. When selecting a location, look for a light to medium understory and sufficient foliage in the canopy to conceal the suspended stake. Here are the steps for proper trap construction:

1. CHOOSE A STAKE:
Select a straight, sturdy ten-foot (6–12 inches in diameter) branch. Sharpen both ends to a point. Remove any offshoots or leaves that may snag on surrounding foliage.

FIGURE 2.8 A:
Choose a lengthy branch for your stake.

2. POSITION:
Choose a narrow path with little room to maneuver on either side. Suspend the stake from a limb (12–15 feet above the ground) of a sturdy tree. When hanging, the stake should be resting at waist height. Pull the stake up to an angle just short of 90°.

FIGURE 2.8 B:
Correct stake position.

3. TRIGGER DEVICE:
Use local materials to camouflage the trip stick, rope, and stake. Once set, avoid walking within the drop zone.

FIGURE 2.8 C:
Employ an approprate trigger device.

Preparation time: 1–2 hours

Level of difficulty: easy

Location: woodland or forest

The porcupine trap is similar to Vlad the Impaler in that it utilizes a log hoisted into the treetops, but it varies in that the log drops vertically onto the unsuspecting alien rather than swinging down.

This trap is particularly suited to woodland and forest environments with sufficient canopy cover to conceal the spiked log. Ensure a section of path is selected with dense understory on either side, so as to reduce the chances of your prey diving to one side when the trap is triggered. Here are the trap instructions:

1. LOG SELECTION:
Choose the heaviest log that: (1) you are capable of lifting without personal injury, and (2) is capable of being supported by the ropes you have available. Embed 10-inch spikes at 12-inch intervals across the surface of the log.