The Babbling Brook Naked Poker Club - Book One (18 page)

“No! I didn’t have nothing to do with that.
Okay, okay, I did skim a couple of bucks here and there, but that’s
it. I swear it is.”

“Just like you’re now swearing that Devi
Subramanian attacked you without provocation?”

“I only wanted to ask her whose idea the
party was. She overreacted, man. I mean, look at me, and there’s
not a mark on her.”

“Actually, she has a nasty bruise on her
arm. In my book, that gave her a clear right to defend
herself.”

“Can I help it if she bruises easy? Look
what she did to me, man.”

“Yeah. I hear you. Sounds like she’s
definitely someone you don’t want to piss off.”

“Exactly. You got it.”

“Even if she is half your size.” I simply
couldn’t resist.

“Oh, man. You’re cruel.”

“Tell me again about the thefts.”

I led him laboriously through the details of
his grocery-shopping scam. From there we segued into the thefts of
the stamp, baseball card, and necklace that Eddie continued to deny
involvement with.

“Okay. Let’s get back to what happened
today. Since you’ve admitted you initiated the interaction and
acted aggressively toward Ms. Subramanian, I’ll be speaking with
her to see if she wishes to press charges.”

“Wait. No, you can’t do that. Look at me.
She attacked me, man.”

“We’ve already been through all that.”

He sank back and stared at the ceiling.

“This completes the interview with Eddie
Colter.” I added the time, shut off the recorder, and put it and my
notebook away.

“Wait. You recorded this?”

I wondered if the pain was dulling Colter’s
mind or whether Colter wasn’t very bright to begin with. Likely a
combination.

“It’s standard procedure.”

I stood, and Colter turned his head to glare
at me.

“We’re done for the moment, Mr. Colter, but
I suggest you stay away from Ms. Subramanian.”

I returned to Brookside’s main office
complex and asked to see the manager. Our interaction was brief and
to the point, with him saying he would speak to both Colter and
Devi about the incident. I next went to the station to file my
report and download the recordings of the two interviews. Then I
called Josephine.

She invited me to dinner. “That is, if you
wouldn’t mind picking up takeout, Mac?”

“Sure, happy to do it.”

She named a restaurant, said she’d put in an
order, and for me to come as soon as I could.

Josephine

When Devi knocked on my door the day of the party for Eddie, I
assumed she’d come to give us a report. Lill was finally awake, and
we’d been waiting for Devi. But it wasn’t the party she wanted to
talk about. It was her latest run-in with Eddie including the
report that she’d managed to kick Eddie in the groin hard enough to
make him double over in pain.

“Well, if there was ever a man who deserved
to have his nifkin whacked, that man is Eddie.”

Devi looked puzzled, but after a moment Lill
remembered what the word referred to and chortled. Devi smiled, but
only briefly, when I explained.

After that moment of levity, Devi once again
looked so stressed, I was ready to march down to Mr. Souter’s
office and demand that he fire Eddie forthwith, as they’re always
saying on that one cop show on television—as in, “we need backup,
forthwith.” Devi managed to stop me, but only because by then it
was after five, and Mr. Souter always leaves by five.

Mac called shortly after that, and I invited
him for dinner. I placed an order with the Mediterranean restaurant
that I knew Devi liked, paying with a credit card, one Jeff doesn’t
know about.

Mac showed up forty-five minutes later with
enough hummus, ezme, Greek salad, zucchini pancakes, and kebabs for
at least three more people. He also brought a quart of Graeter’s
black raspberry chocolate chip ice cream. I considered that pretty
intuitive for a man; to think that we might need more comfort than
hummus and kebabs could provide.

But then, he’d already talked to Devi and
knew what Eddie did to her.

“What did Eddie have to say?” I asked as
soon as Mac was in the door. He proceeded to unpack the food
without answering.

“Well?” I said once we were all sitting
around the table with full plates in front of us.

“He was in pretty bad shape,” Mac said, but
he had a twinkle in his eye.

“Good,” I said. “He’s not going to press
charges, is he?”

“Not easy to do once he admitted he was the
one who initiated the interaction.”

Devi sighed with obvious relief.

“He tried to slant it the other way,
though,” Mac said, looking at Devi. “Just like you thought he
might. Said you were the one who invited him into the empty
apartment and then threw yourself at him. That when he rejected
you, you went ballistic and beat him up.”

“You didn’t believe that for a second, did
you?” I said.

“Of course not.”

“What happens next?”

“I’ve already spoken to Souter about the
incident. He said he’ll speak to Colter, hopefully to tell him his
services are no longer required. I also got Colter to admit he was
stealing from his grocery customers.”

“How did you get him to do that?” I
said.

“Good police work,” Mac said with a smug
expression.

“What about the other thefts?” Lill said.
“Did you ask him about those?”

“I did. He denies any involvement. And the
funny thing is, I tend to believe him.”

“Why?”

“I think he’s okay with the little stuff,
but I don’t think he has the nerve for something more complex.
Heck, don’t forget the man threw in the towel after only two hits
from a woman half his size.”

“Yes, I could see that in his handwriting,”
Lill said. “Like many bullies, he’s a coward. I agree with you that
it’s unlikely he’s our big thief.”

“Have you found any of the missing items?” I
asked Mac.

He shook his head. “There was an inverted
Jenny stamp sold a couple of months ago, but it traced back to a
lawyer in Indianapolis who claimed the owner was a long-time client
and Indianapolis resident.”

“Since none of the items have surfaced, that
could mean our thief is both smart and patient,” Lill said in a
thoughtful tone. “That doesn’t match Eddie’s profile either. It’s
clear from the far forward slant of his handwriting that he has
impulse-control issues. I think our thief is someone who is very
analytical and disciplined.”

“Have you found anyone like that?” Mac
said.

Lill frowned. “You know, I think I do
remember one profile . . .” She shook her head. “I’ll
have to look through them all to find it. That last batch I did are
a blur.”

“The other thing you’ll be glad to know is
that Colter confirmed he doesn’t have a daughter.”

“He did look very uncomfortable today while
Myrtle was making the presentations,” Devi said. “But I still
worried, just a little, that it could be true.”

“Yes, so did I,” I said. “It’s a good thing
we talked Myrtle into setting up a general fund.”

“Myrtle’s not going to be happy to hear
there’s no Sara,” Devi said.

“There are other Saras. And Myrtle needs to
get over herself,” Lill said.

That was more like something I would say,
and I think it startled everyone, including Lill, but then we all
chuckled.

We finished eating, and Devi and Mac cleared
the table while Lill fetched her analyses for us to look through. I
did like the easy way Devi and Mac worked together on the dishes. I
considered it a good sign.

Lill first divided all her reports into two
piles. “Here are the people with the easiest access, and these are
lesser suspects. I did a more thorough review for these than I did
for these,” she said pointing to each pile in turn.

I huffed. “So, what we’re looking for is
someone who’s smart, analytical, and patient. That’s not much to go
on. Besides, that pretty much describes you and me,” I told
Lill.

“Honey, I wouldn’t say patience is your
strong suit,” Lill said.

I could tell Devi and Mac were both trying
not to smile. “Well, yes,” I agreed. “You’re probably right.”

“Another thing to consider,” Lill said,
“while everyone lies and even steals under the proper
circumstances, the person doing this is likely more bent than the
average.”

“And that’s something you would have noted?”
I said.

“Absolutely,” Lill said.

“Okay, well, no time like the present to
start. Or maybe we should have just a wee dram first?”

“Why don’t we save the wee dram for when we
find something,” Mac said.

That was fine with me. I never have
understood what all the fuss over elderly Scotch is about. Tea is
my tipple. But I knew Mac liked it, so it was a good way to say
thank-you for what he’d done for Devi today.

I helped myself to the top page from one of
the piles, and the others grabbed pages of their own. Then we all
took seats at either the dining table or in the living room.

Lill had attached the original handwriting
sample to her analysis, so I looked at that first, although I
didn’t have any idea what to look for. The one I’d picked looked
quite elegant and very feminine. Lill claims she can’t tell gender
from a writing sample, but I found that hard to believe after I
looked at the signature and saw this was a sample of Candace’s
writing.

I read through Lill’s comments, looking for
the characteristics we’d discussed. Candace, according to Lill, has
poor organizational skills but only a minor tendency to dishonesty,
which I thought odd, given her inattention to her job. Her writing
also hinted at an impatient nature.

I made notes of my findings on a Post-It
note that I appended to Lill’s commentary, then I picked up another
analysis. It turned out to be a sample of Bertie’s writing, which
was as tottery as the man himself. Bottom line, he was patient, not
overly bright, and had no dishonest tendencies. No surprises
there.

“Here’s an interesting one,” Mac said after
we’d all been reading silently for some time. “This person is smart
and has a logical approach to problems. There’s some possibility of
an impulse-control issue, but overriding that is the ability to
delay gratification.”

“Who is it?” I said.

“An Edna Prisant.”

I sat back and realized I was blinking in
surprise.

Interesting that neither Lill nor I
immediately said anything approaching
It couldn’t possibly be
Edna
,
because the more the idea
settled in, I decided it very well could be Edna.

“Oh,” Devi said thoughtfully, also not
saying
Of course it can’t be Edna
.

Mac looked from one to the other of us. “So
Edna is a possibility?”

“Where did you say the stamp was sold?” Lill
asked.

“Indianapolis,” Mac said.

Lill smiled. “Edna has a son who lives in
Indianapolis. His name is Baxter. Baxter Prisant.”

That made us all laugh.

“We know the woman’s ruthless,” I said after
I managed to stop laughing. “Remember her naked poker story?”

“Indeed I do.” Lill turned to Mac and Devi
who were sitting on the couch, almost together, but not quite. “She
seduced her sister’s fiancé as payback for her sister hurting her
dog. But she waited years to do it. Now, doesn’t that sound like
someone who might plan a series of thefts?”

“What’s her motivation?” Mac said.

“Maybe Herman Todhoffer didn’t make a pass
at her?” I said. “No, that would be Myrtle, wouldn’t it. Who knows.
We’ll just have to ask her.”

“No, you don’t. Let me handle this,” Mac
said in his most commanding way.

I do wish he would use that tone on Devi and
command her to go to dinner with him, or . . . well, I
just wish Devi could see what a terrific guy Mac is. And not
married. Divorced. I checked. I fear Eddie has soured her on the
entire gender.

“Josephine?” Mac said. “You will let me
handle this.”

I nodded. But I also crossed my fingers.

~ ~ ~

So it appears our likely Brookside villains are Eddie and Edna
either separately or as partners. And, yes, I did both notice and
comment on the synchronicity of those two names.

Our little handwriting party broke up
shortly after that. Mac was going to follow Devi to make sure she
got home safely, and Lill, despite her long nap, pleaded
exhaustion, leaving when they did.

Their departures left me keyed up, so I did
what I usually do when I’m feeling that way. I spent time going
over my portfolio and checking out additional places to invest my
money.

While I was doing that, the phone rang. I
glanced at caller ID to discover Jeff was calling. Since he was the
last person I felt like talking to, I ignored the call.

There was no message.

Edna

In a recent disappointing development, not only has Myrtle
reconciled with Josephine and Lillian, something I never expected
to see in this lifetime, the three of them are now as thick as
thieves. They’re all working on a fund-raising project for Eddie’s
daughter, the same daughter, I might add, who Josephine professes
not to believe in. It does make a body wonder what they’re up
to.

When they asked me to write something for
this peculiar book they’re putting together, I was going to say no.
But I’d already heard from several people how excited they were
about being included, and I didn’t want to be conspicuous by my
absence, did I? Not when every other person I’ve encountered the
last few days has mentioned they were thinking about what to write
and asked if I’d decided yet myself.

There was even a scuffle, one evening before
a concert when two people discovered they’d picked the same
quotation. Even though I personally think the whole project is
weird, I don’t dare say so. I’m afraid people might attack me with
their canes and walkers; the fools are that excited about the whole
thing.